r/sex is for civil discussions pertaining to education and advice regarding your sexuality and sexual relationships. It is a sex-positive community and a safe space for people of all genders and orientations which demands respectful conduct in all exchanges.  There is **ZERO TOLERANCE FOR CREEPY/HARASSING BEHAVIOR here** — in posts, comments, messages, or any other contributions. No exceptions.

**[Rules, Guidelines, Block Unwanted DMs Guide, Other Misc.](https://old.reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/rules)**

**[Wondering why we don't allow certain topics?](https://old.reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/rules/why_dont_we_allow/)**
 
---------------------------------------

This is a large community dedicated to an extremely popular topic.  If you wish to participate, it is your responsibility to familiarize yourself with our rules of conduct **BEFORE** you participate here.  Failure to do so will result in your removal from the community.  

**PLEASE READ** the [FAQ](https://reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/index) with the most asked and answered questions - **BEFORE POSTING!!** Posts that do not follow the posting guidelines in the FAQ will be automatically removed.

--------------------------------------

**THE /R/SEX RULES**

**1) ENGAGE CONSTRUCTIVELY AT ALL TIMES.**   
This means ensuring that ALL of your contributions here are constructive, on-topic, mature, sex-positive, civil and respectful.  Disrespectful conduct will see you banned from the community on the spot.  Hitting on other people, asking for pictures (joking or not), making any sort of sexist comment or insult, body shaming, or trolling of any sort will result in your immediate ban.

**2) DON’T SKIP THE FAQ OR THE FORUM RULES.**  
We’re serious about this. Dozens of posts get removed every day because they’re covered in the FAQ or violate the forum rules.

**3) DON'T OVERLOOK PAST POSTS.**   
We’re serious about this, too. Many questions may be new to you, but are very common in our community. Before you submit a post on a common topic, search the forum.

**4) ALL CONTRIBUTIONS MUST BE SEX POSITIVE.**   
We demand that consenting adults be free to express their sexuality as they see fit. Kink shaming, slut shaming, and similar conduct will not be tolerated.  Links or references to sex negative communities or websites (No Fap, Porn Free, etc) will not be tolerated.  Attacks on the lifestyle of other consenting adults will not be tolerated.

**5) POSTS SEEK ADVICE, COMMENTS PROVIDE IT.**   
The main forum is focused primarily on posts seeking specific actionable advice for distinctive personal situations. Giving advice should primarily be done in the comments.  General discussions are often allowed, so long as they adhere to the group rules and restricted content guidelines. If you want to make an exception, please request approval from moderators.

**6) DO NOT TROLL OR ENGAGE WITH TROLLS HERE.**   
Don’t try to challenge, question, tease, fight, or outwit trolls here. Instead, use the Report button to alert moderators, who will review every single reported item.  Trolling of any sort merits an immediate permaban.

**7) ALL DISCUSSION MUST BE DIRECTED INTO THE PUBLIC FORUM.** Do not seek private conversations here, via Private Message or any other method. And do not seek to draw attention or clicks to an outside site of any type (unless you have received prior moderator approval, such as for academic research projects). Every comment here must be a clear attempt to engage with an ongoing public discussion in the forum. Violations of this rule will result in permanent bans without notice.

For anyone trying to avoid unwanted DM/chat requests, [here's how to change your settings](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/s/5u3SvkUALf).

**8) RESTRICTED CONTENT** 
This sub is generally only for seeking advice, education, or discussion about sex and sexuality. We restrict or forbid many types of content here.

For expanded definitions of these, please see the full /r/sex rules post.

---------------------------------------

**EXAMPLES OF CONTENT RESTRICTED IN /R/SEX:**

**1) PROMOTIONAL POSTS.**   
This means any post containing any kind of promotional element, especially one which seeks to lure traffic to another site or promote a product. Links to specific product descriptions are permitted if they’re PRECISELY on-topic in the context of the post, AND the post itself is clearly seeking advice in good faith.  If you're trying to sell something, conduct market research, etc - these posts will get you banned.  Linking to sex-positive blogs or podcasts is allowed, provided you make an effort to start a conversation here about the topic and use the link as supporting material.

**2) LINK POSTS.**   
Linked material must be sex positive and precisely on-topic to stay up here, and needs to be introduced with a workable framework for discussion. Please see the posted [Link Policy](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/linkpolicy) **BEFORE** you post links!  Bare links to youtube, images, blogs, podcasts, etc are prohibited.

**3) ACHIEVEMENT POSTS.**   
These include appreciation, humblebrags, “I just had to share,” “I just want to say,” etc. These belong in the Weekly Sexual Achievement Thread, not in the main forum. Posts which are JUST sex stories belong somewhere else entirely — like r/sexstories or a similar forum.  

**4) LOW EFFORT MATERIAL.**    
“Does anyone else...?”, “Is [X] normal/weird?”, “Is [y] wrong/bad/okay?”, and so forth.  Human sexuality is incredibly varied; yes, someone else likes what you like, and labels like "normal" or "weird" are meaningless - and in a sex positive community, we do not allow any moral judgments against sex acts or behaviors that are consensual.  Title-only posts, posts with no effort at an actual conversation will be removed and may get you banned.  Comments that consist of nothing but memes, "this", "lol" and such are highly disfavored.  If comments do not further the discussion, they may be removed; a pattern of these may result in your ban.
   
**5) SEEKING FAP MATERIAL.**   
Do not ask for sex stories, do not ask for the hottest/strangest/most unusual/etc encounter someone ever had.  Do not ask for lists of other people's kinks.  

**6) PORNOGRAPHY, EROTICA, OR PERSONALS.**    
You may not post or link pornography or erotica here.  You may not share pictures of your genitals here - even if you are seeking medical advice (if you need to post a picture, you need to be going to a doctor).  You may not recruit sex partners here, look for dirty chat, ask for someone to private message you, etc.

**7) DISRESPECTFUL CONTENT.**   
Personal attacks, insults, name calling, or disrespect of any sort are not allowed here.  Sexism, racism, or any type of hate speech will result in your immediate ban.  This is a community for **ALL GENDERS** - refusing to acknowledge a trans individual's gender flies in the face of this, and will result in your ban.  

**8) OPINION SEEKING, POLLS, VALUE JUDGEMENTS, OR VALIDATION POSTS.**    
This forum is not for simply collecting opinions - "do you think [X] is hot?", "Women, do you like [Y]?", "What is your favorite sex position?" and so forth.  This is not a forum to discuss your penis size, breast size, labia size, ask about other body image issues, or ask for feedback on your photos.  See the /r/sex FAQ for help regarding body image issues.  Do not post your pictures and ask people to rate or critique you.  Do not ask if given consensual sexual interests are good/bad/okay/wrong, etc.

**9) ACADEMIC SURVEYS.**   
These require prior moderator approval. Moderators will review the question formats and will review the documentation of institutional ethical oversight (please provide). Non-academic surveys are seldom allowed.  Please contact the moderators BEFORE you post a survey or study.  

**10) GENERAL RANTS, ESSAYS, EDITORIALS, VENTS, CONFESSIONS, PSAS, AND AMAS.**    
These don’t belong in the main forum unless you have obtained prior moderator approval. Save them for story-based forums. Or Tumblr.

**11) FREQUENT/FAMILIAR TOPICS.**   
These are addressed in either the FAQ, past posts, or both.  In case you are confused, this means that we **do not do penis size posts here,** nor can we tell if you or your partner are pregnant.  

**12) VAGUE TITLE/TOPIC.**   
If a moderator can’t identify your issue or the type of advice you’re seeking, your post will be subject to removal.  Titles should be at least several words long and adequately express what your post is about.

**13) NONCONSENSUAL OR ILLEGAL CONTENT.**   
/r/sex is for the discussion of consensual sex among adults.  We do not permit posts that advocate pedophilia, bestiality, rape, or incest here under any circumstances, nor do we allow these topics at all in most instances.  Note that BDSM and CNC (consensual nonconsent) are perfectly valid topics in /r/sex.

**14) OTHER OFF TOPIC ISSUES.**    
This is not the place to discuss politics or religion, to seek dating advice, to ask for how to pick up women, to rant about how you have never had sex.  Posts that appear to be dedicated to stirring up arguments - particularly about hot button topics like circumcision, the evils of pornography and/or masturbation, and other toxic subjects - will be removed and will result in swift bans.

For a complete list of restricted content, see the [rules sticky](https://reddit.com/r/sex/comments/14n6p9j/the_rsex_rules_and_guidelines_please_read_before/).
***

**Other Relevant Sub-Reddits:**

• [BDSM Community](/r/BDSMcommunity)

• [DeadBedrooms](/r/DeadBedrooms)

• [Dirty Pen Pals](/r/dirtypenpals)

• [Gone Wild](/r/gonewild)

• [Ladyboners Gone Wild](/r/ladybonersgw)

• [LGBT Sex](/r/lgbtsex)

• [LGBT](http://reddit.com/r/lgbt)

• [Normal Nudes](http://www.reddit.com/r/normalnudes)

• [One Y Chromosome](/r/OneY)

• [Polyamory](/r/polyamory)

• [Redditor for Redditor (Personals)](/r/r4r)

• [Relationships](/r/relationships)

• [Sex Stories](/r/gonewildstories)

• [Sex Toys](/r/SexToys)

• [Swingers](/r/swingers)

• [Transgender](/r/transgender)

• [Two X Chromosomes](/r/TwoXChromosomes)

<div class="md"><a href="/r/sex">r/sex</a> is for civil discussions pertaining to education and advice regarding your sexuality and sexual relationships. It is a sex-positive community and a safe space for people of all genders and orientations which demands respectful conduct in all exchanges. There is ZERO TOLERANCE FOR CREEPY/HARASSING BEHAVIOR here — in posts, comments, messages, or any other contributions. No exceptions.

<a href="https://old.reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/rules">Rules, Guidelines, Block Unwanted DMs Guide, Other Misc.</a>

<a href="https://old.reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/rules/why_dont_we_allow/">Wondering why we don&#39;t allow certain topics?</a>

<hr/>

This is a large community dedicated to an extremely popular topic. If you wish to participate, it is your responsibility to familiarize yourself with our rules of conduct BEFORE you participate here. Failure to do so will result in your removal from the community. 

PLEASE READ the <a href="https://reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/index">FAQ</a> with the most asked and answered questions - BEFORE POSTING!! Posts that do not follow the posting guidelines in the FAQ will be automatically removed.

<hr/>

THE /R/SEX RULES

1) ENGAGE CONSTRUCTIVELY AT ALL TIMES. 
This means ensuring that ALL of your contributions here are constructive, on-topic, mature, sex-positive, civil and respectful. Disrespectful conduct will see you banned from the community on the spot. Hitting on other people, asking for pictures (joking or not), making any sort of sexist comment or insult, body shaming, or trolling of any sort will result in your immediate ban.

2) DON’T SKIP THE FAQ OR THE FORUM RULES. 
We’re serious about this. Dozens of posts get removed every day because they’re covered in the FAQ or violate the forum rules.

3) DON&#39;T OVERLOOK PAST POSTS. 
We’re serious about this, too. Many questions may be new to you, but are very common in our community. Before you submit a post on a common topic, search the forum.

4) ALL CONTRIBUTIONS MUST BE SEX POSITIVE. 
We demand that consenting adults be free to express their sexuality as they see fit. Kink shaming, slut shaming, and similar conduct will not be tolerated. Links or references to sex negative communities or websites (No Fap, Porn Free, etc) will not be tolerated. Attacks on the lifestyle of other consenting adults will not be tolerated.

5) POSTS SEEK ADVICE, COMMENTS PROVIDE IT. 
The main forum is focused primarily on posts seeking specific actionable advice for distinctive personal situations. Giving advice should primarily be done in the comments. General discussions are often allowed, so long as they adhere to the group rules and restricted content guidelines. If you want to make an exception, please request approval from moderators.

6) DO NOT TROLL OR ENGAGE WITH TROLLS HERE. 
Don’t try to challenge, question, tease, fight, or outwit trolls here. Instead, use the Report button to alert moderators, who will review every single reported item. Trolling of any sort merits an immediate permaban.

7) ALL DISCUSSION MUST BE DIRECTED INTO THE PUBLIC FORUM. Do not seek private conversations here, via Private Message or any other method. And do not seek to draw attention or clicks to an outside site of any type (unless you have received prior moderator approval, such as for academic research projects). Every comment here must be a clear attempt to engage with an ongoing public discussion in the forum. Violations of this rule will result in permanent bans without notice.

For anyone trying to avoid unwanted DM/chat requests, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/s/5u3SvkUALf">here&#39;s how to change your settings</a>.

8) RESTRICTED CONTENT 
This sub is generally only for seeking advice, education, or discussion about sex and sexuality. We restrict or forbid many types of content here.

For expanded definitions of these, please see the full <a href="/r/sex">/r/sex</a> rules post.

<hr/>

EXAMPLES OF CONTENT RESTRICTED IN /R/SEX:

1) PROMOTIONAL POSTS. 
This means any post containing any kind of promotional element, especially one which seeks to lure traffic to another site or promote a product. Links to specific product descriptions are permitted if they’re PRECISELY on-topic in the context of the post, AND the post itself is clearly seeking advice in good faith. If you&#39;re trying to sell something, conduct market research, etc - these posts will get you banned. Linking to sex-positive blogs or podcasts is allowed, provided you make an effort to start a conversation here about the topic and use the link as supporting material.

2) LINK POSTS. 
Linked material must be sex positive and precisely on-topic to stay up here, and needs to be introduced with a workable framework for discussion. Please see the posted <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/linkpolicy">Link Policy</a> BEFORE you post links! Bare links to youtube, images, blogs, podcasts, etc are prohibited.

3) ACHIEVEMENT POSTS. 
These include appreciation, humblebrags, “I just had to share,” “I just want to say,” etc. These belong in the Weekly Sexual Achievement Thread, not in the main forum. Posts which are JUST sex stories belong somewhere else entirely — like <a href="/r/sexstories">r/sexstories</a> or a similar forum. 

4) LOW EFFORT MATERIAL. 
“Does anyone else...?”, “Is [X] normal/weird?”, “Is [y] wrong/bad/okay?”, and so forth. Human sexuality is incredibly varied; yes, someone else likes what you like, and labels like &quot;normal&quot; or &quot;weird&quot; are meaningless - and in a sex positive community, we do not allow any moral judgments against sex acts or behaviors that are consensual. Title-only posts, posts with no effort at an actual conversation will be removed and may get you banned. Comments that consist of nothing but memes, &quot;this&quot;, &quot;lol&quot; and such are highly disfavored. If comments do not further the discussion, they may be removed; a pattern of these may result in your ban.

5) SEEKING FAP MATERIAL. 
Do not ask for sex stories, do not ask for the hottest/strangest/most unusual/etc encounter someone ever had. Do not ask for lists of other people&#39;s kinks. 

6) PORNOGRAPHY, EROTICA, OR PERSONALS. 
You may not post or link pornography or erotica here. You may not share pictures of your genitals here - even if you are seeking medical advice (if you need to post a picture, you need to be going to a doctor). You may not recruit sex partners here, look for dirty chat, ask for someone to private message you, etc.

7) DISRESPECTFUL CONTENT. 
Personal attacks, insults, name calling, or disrespect of any sort are not allowed here. Sexism, racism, or any type of hate speech will result in your immediate ban. This is a community for ALL GENDERS - refusing to acknowledge a trans individual&#39;s gender flies in the face of this, and will result in your ban. 

8) OPINION SEEKING, POLLS, VALUE JUDGEMENTS, OR VALIDATION POSTS. 
This forum is not for simply collecting opinions - &quot;do you think [X] is hot?&quot;, &quot;Women, do you like [Y]?&quot;, &quot;What is your favorite sex position?&quot; and so forth. This is not a forum to discuss your penis size, breast size, labia size, ask about other body image issues, or ask for feedback on your photos. See the <a href="/r/sex">/r/sex</a> FAQ for help regarding body image issues. Do not post your pictures and ask people to rate or critique you. Do not ask if given consensual sexual interests are good/bad/okay/wrong, etc.

9) ACADEMIC SURVEYS. 
These require prior moderator approval. Moderators will review the question formats and will review the documentation of institutional ethical oversight (please provide). Non-academic surveys are seldom allowed. Please contact the moderators BEFORE you post a survey or study. 

10) GENERAL RANTS, ESSAYS, EDITORIALS, VENTS, CONFESSIONS, PSAS, AND AMAS. 
These don’t belong in the main forum unless you have obtained prior moderator approval. Save them for story-based forums. Or Tumblr.

11) FREQUENT/FAMILIAR TOPICS. 
These are addressed in either the FAQ, past posts, or both. In case you are confused, this means that we do not do penis size posts here, nor can we tell if you or your partner are pregnant. 

12) VAGUE TITLE/TOPIC. 
If a moderator can’t identify your issue or the type of advice you’re seeking, your post will be subject to removal. Titles should be at least several words long and adequately express what your post is about.

13) NONCONSENSUAL OR ILLEGAL CONTENT. 
<a href="/r/sex">/r/sex</a> is for the discussion of consensual sex among adults. We do not permit posts that advocate pedophilia, bestiality, rape, or incest here under any circumstances, nor do we allow these topics at all in most instances. Note that BDSM and CNC (consensual nonconsent) are perfectly valid topics in <a href="/r/sex">/r/sex</a>.

14) OTHER OFF TOPIC ISSUES. 
This is not the place to discuss politics or religion, to seek dating advice, to ask for how to pick up women, to rant about how you have never had sex. Posts that appear to be dedicated to stirring up arguments - particularly about hot button topics like circumcision, the evils of pornography and/or masturbation, and other toxic subjects - will be removed and will result in swift bans.

For a complete list of restricted content, see the <a href="https://reddit.com/r/sex/comments/14n6p9j/the_rsex_rules_and_guidelines_please_read_before/">rules sticky</a>.

<hr/>

Other Relevant Sub-Reddits:

• <a href="/r/BDSMcommunity">BDSM Community</a>

• <a href="/r/DeadBedrooms">DeadBedrooms</a>

• <a href="/r/dirtypenpals">Dirty Pen Pals</a>

• <a href="/r/gonewild">Gone Wild</a>

• <a href="/r/ladybonersgw">Ladyboners Gone Wild</a>

• <a href="/r/lgbtsex">LGBT Sex</a>

• <a href="http://reddit.com/r/lgbt">LGBT</a>

• <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/normalnudes">Normal Nudes</a>

• <a href="/r/OneY">One Y Chromosome</a>

• <a href="/r/polyamory">Polyamory</a>

• <a href="/r/r4r">Redditor for Redditor (Personals)</a>

• <a href="/r/relationships">Relationships</a>

• <a href="/r/gonewildstories">Sex Stories</a>

• <a href="/r/SexToys">Sex Toys</a>

• <a href="/r/swingers">Swingers</a>

• <a href="/r/transgender">Transgender</a>

• <a href="/r/TwoXChromosomes">Two X Chromosomes</a>
</div>

Civil discussions about sexuality and sexual relationships.

t5_2qh3p

r/sex is for civil discussions pertaining to education and advice regarding your sexuality and sexual relationships. It is a sex-positive community and a safe space for people of all genders and orientations which demands respectful conduct in all exchanges. There is ZERO TOLERANCE FOR CREEPY OR HARASSING BEHAVIOR HERE — in posts, comments, messages, or any other contributions. No exceptions.

<div class="md"><a href="/r/sex">r/sex</a> is for civil discussions pertaining to education and advice regarding your sexuality and sexual relationships. It is a sex-positive community and a safe space for people of all genders and orientations which demands respectful conduct in all exchanges. There is ZERO TOLERANCE FOR CREEPY OR HARASSING BEHAVIOR HERE — in posts, comments, messages, or any other contributions. No exceptions.
</div>

Please read the guidelines in the sidebar and read the Most Asked Questions wiki before posting. [Submissions must follow posting guidelines described in our Wiki](https://old.reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/rules/). Any links, whether to other subreddits or to external websites, must conform to [our link policy](https://old.reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/linkpolicy).

<div class="md">Please read the guidelines in the sidebar and read the Most Asked Questions wiki before posting. <a href="https://old.reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/rules/">Submissions must follow posting guidelines described in our Wiki</a>. Any links, whether to other subreddits or to external websites, must conform to <a href="https://old.reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/linkpolicy">our link policy</a>.
</div>

My bf has been asking for a handjob. What lubricant should i use?