Self-Help

Ten years ago, when I was still a child, I was diagnosed with a chronic neurological illness that causes me constant pain. Despite this, I decided to dedicate my life to becoming the best at what I do. I pursued my dreams with determination, attending Harvard and, a few years later, and while still in my 20s, I sit on the board of a medium-sized business.

Achieving these milestones was always my dream. I imagined that success would bring me fulfillment and happiness. However, now that I've reached these goals, I find myself feeling empty, angry, and sad.

I have nothing that means anything to me. Every time I don't perform perfectly, I whip myself. I find no joy anymore in trying to find a life partner—I have never even tried. I view hobbies as a stupid waste of time. I’m a sad workaholic who becomes depressed when I stop working. I know full well that it will only get worse but no part of me wants to stop working.

I have already gone through a failed suicide and several therapists so this is my last desparate resort.

How do I fix my life?

Hi there! I used to be shy and unhappy with my life, but everything changed when I decided to shift my mindset. Now, I truly feel like a new person. I'm excited to share that I've just published a self-help workbook to help others experience the same positive transformation. I hope it can make a difference in your life too!

Book link here.

It is hard to know that I made decisions that were ultimately wrong for my life. I didn’t take care of my health well, and I am know permanently broken. My face is damaged beyond repair, and not even dermatology can fix it. I can’t even join the military anymore because of my health. In high school and college, I didn’t make any friends or memories. I didn’t do well academically, and so have no access to good jobs. It is so frustrating how much damage my life is in now, and it is irreversible. That is a tough pill to swallow

Any time i see a girl who has my interests or similar. I feel threatened and i begin to feel like I'm not enough or that I'm not special. I get upset about it. Especially if they're very pretty. It has unfortunately happened with a friend of mine now and i can hardly be around her or speak to her because I compare myself to her when she's around or if i see her on social media. I've since distanced myself a bit from her, so i stop hurting myself so often. It's helped, but i realize I'm not tackling the real issue here. It's been like this for a few months now, recently i feel like I've made some progress and the feeling isn't as intense. Part of me wants to prove to myself that if I've actually progressed on this then being around her shouldn't be as big of a problem, but I'm scared of these feelings getting really bad again. I also am just tired of focusing on trying not to feel this way about her anymore. I'd rather just focus on myself rather than her because it's hurting me. I hate that i have to distance myself from her for the moment in order to heal this issue, it makes me feel like a terrible person. I really dislike this part of myself and i don't know where to begin on getting better. Any advice is welcome, but please be kind.

Do you feel like life's demands just keep on growing, leaving you overwhelmed and anxious? You're not alone. Whether it's work deadlines, family responsibilities, personal challenges – and conflicts between these - the feeling of being overwhelmed can affect any of us. But fear not, for there's a path from chaos to calm. Here's a quick guide to reclaiming your peace of mind:

 

Assess What's Within Your Control: Take stock of your concerns and categorise them into three columns: what you can control, what you can influence, and what's beyond your control. By focusing your energy on what you can change and making steady progress, you can develop your sense of agency: and with a series of small successes behind you, what you can influence will grow.

 

Shift to Solution Mode: Now that you've identified your areas of influence, envision the desired outcomes for each issue. Rather than dwelling on problems, direct your attention toward practical solutions. This shift in mindset empowers you to tackle challenges head-on. Challenge your-self to shift your base thinking from ‘why not?’ to ‘How can?’

 

Prioritise Your Actions: Not all tasks are created equal. Consider the difference between what is urgent and what is important. Determine which issues are both important and urgent, and tackle them first. Remember, addressing important matters over urgent ones is the key to sustainable crisis management. Reflect on how you can spend more quality time on what is important. Want to understand your present priorities? – note down a detailed log of how you have spent the past week: your real priorities are what you actually do with your time.

 

Communication is Key: Share your plan with those impacted by your decisions. You're likely to be pleasantly surprised by the support you receive once others understand your perspective.

 

Nourish Your Body: During times of stress, it's easy to neglect nutrition. Stock up on wholesome foods and snacks to fuel your body and mind effectively. When you’re going for that late-night snack, you can only eat what’s in the cupboard.

 

Practice Gratitude: Amidst the chaos, it's essential to count your blessings. Regularly reflect on what you're grateful for—whether it's your resilience, progress, or the support of loved ones.

 

Sweat it Out: Exercise is a potent stress-buster. Whether it's a brisk walk, weightlifting session, or cycling adventure, physical activity releases tension and boosts mood. Hour for hour, exercise is right up there as giving the best returns for improving and maintaining your wellbeing.

 

Prioritise Sleep: Rest is non-negotiable. With a clear plan in place, ensure you're getting adequate rest to maintain productivity and mental clarity. Add to this a daily deep relaxation: meditation, guided meditation, hypnosis – whichever works best for you.

 

Celebrate Progress: Each step forward is a victory worth celebrating. Acknowledge your achievements, no matter how small. Reflect on your previous achievements, savour them, consider the skills and resources you used to create those achievements. How can those skills and resources be used now?

 

Remember, overwhelm is a common experience, but it need not define you. While short-term episodes are manageable, chronic overwhelm can take its toll. Don't hesitate to seek support when needed—there's help available to guide you back to a sense of balance.

Hello, I’m not too sure how to write this but I’ve been having a lot of physiological problems about storms to the point to where I’ve been hearing tornado sirens in the back of my end and truly believing that I’m going to die in the next two months because of a storm and that they’re going to be most active where I live in the next two months, I believe most of the fear this stems from is my fear of death. What can I do to help not worry as much :(

The r/selfhelp Think and Grow Rich twitter/X bot is now officially up! It posts quotes quotes from Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill a few times a day to keep you reminded of the principles!

If you want to follow, it's under

ThinkGrowBot

I'm not sure what it is, but whenever hanging out with friends or talking to people in general, I feel like I never have anything to add on any topics brought up, even the ones that I have knowledge on. Even when asked on my opinion on something, I blank and it's hard for me to express myself. Also, I feel like my memory is shit nowadays and I can't recall anything 😕

I feel like I'm always non deserving and I let other people pass by and I always feel as if I'm sitting in a bench watching life go by. Seen so many people successed and found their potential. I don't even know why I'm sitting in life like a frozen statue. I'm sick of it. Why is it so hard for me to take actions. I don't understand

I'm from a suburb out of state, but I'm spending the summer in Chicago for an internship. I've always liked the idea of living in a city and I was extremely bored of and lowkey hated where I was living, so I was pretty excited about this.

My internship hosted a few events to get to know other interns, and even though I won't be working in the same department as these people I still tried to talk. However, I've barely made any connections, and the one person I did connect with doesn't even live in the city so I don't have anyone to hang out with so far.

In my free time, I move around different parts of the building I'm staying out to work on my computer, play games, read, etc. but the whole time I've just been thinking that if I moved here in the future (or anywhere I guess) it's gonna be a lot of nothing.

I feel like there's nothing to do in life as a whole (and I don't mean this pessimistically just as a general thing ig ?) besides school, working, hanging out with friends/family on weekends or in free time, and doing hobbies. I feel extremely bored in the city and I don't really know what to do. It's the same feeling I felt back home, even though I hung out with friends pretty frequently and was surrounded by family. Everything just feels very boring.

I'm starting to realize that this feeling isn't based on where I'm living but rather is an internal thing, so what can I do to stop feeling this way? And, sidenote, drop some tips for things to do in Chicago this summer!!!

am a high school student in the middle of my summer vacations. I'm desperately looking for a way to spend time inside the house that does not include using a device in any way.

I have tried reading (which I love) but I can only read so much in a day. I have tried arts and crafts but I always need inspiration and guidance from the internet and once again end up using my phone. I did study ahead for my next term but I don't want to go overboard since that would make the classes too boring for me when school actually starts. I can't go outside to a park or some place more than once a week (I do go to the gym six days a week though). All of my friends are currently too far away from met for us to spend time together irl.

Whenever I try to put away my phone I'm left with nothing to do

Hello!

Long story short, I have been an everyday weed smoker for about 10 years. I’m 33 now started properly around 22.

I’ve been having a lot of thoughts recently about quitting for good. Or at least until I can get my habit under control to do it occasionally with friends.

I do really enjoy it and I see the benefits it gives my mind. Sometimes I feel really shitty and stuck in the mud. I have a smoke and my creativity rises (I’m a videographer) and I get into a good, fun flow with work and I have a good day.

But I also feel like it holds me back a lot and stops me doing the things I want to do. When I look back over 10 years. I’m also kind of like want have I done apart from be stoned and work?

Anyway all I’m really looking for is to hear anyone else’s stories of dealing with a weed habit. And also how it felt for you once you stopped? The positives you noticed and what I can expect if I decide to stop? Which I think I want do because everytime I have a spliff now. I think. Should I be doing this?

A little bit of a ramble I know. But if anyone has any advise. Stories. Anything at all on this subject I’d love to hear it

I haven’t got much support in my life so I guess I’m just looking for some :)

Thank you!

To let them know exactly how I was feeling? What my thoughts were? Why my thoughts were? I feel like it could be therapeutic, getting the darkest things out to finally let them go and out them in the light. But I also dont know if it would out too much worry on them. I 100% trust them. I want them to know my exact struggle. Just concerned they may always question whether im actually ok, and they alter their behavior around me afraid they may trigger the thoughts somehow.

My psychologist understands that I have imposter syndrome and that it is precisely the syndrome that causes me to have limiting beliefs. I told her about some of the thoughts that I feel are limiting me and she said that they are worked on with thought restructuring. She does not work on my thoughts in therapy and said I should restructure them on my own. This really makes me feel overwhelmed. I don't know where to start and feel that on my own alone I can't bring down a whole system of erroneous beliefs. Any recommendations?

I self harm a lot and for personal reasons I needed to quit So I tried to go cold turkey I felt decent after the first day but the second I was shaking all day and the third I couldn't stop myself. I don't know where to go and I feel so weak

For the past 20 years of my life, I have battled with depression. It has been a constant shadow following me, no matter what I did or where I went. I have seen countless therapists, doctors, and medics, hoping that someone could help me find a way out of this darkness. With each visit, I received a new diagnosis and was prescribed different medications, but none of them seemed to work for me.

After many failed attempts at finding a solution through traditional methods, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I thought that no one knew me better than I knew myself, so I could surely figure out how to overcome my depression on my own. I tried various self-help techniques, from exercise to meditation, but nothing seemed to make a significant impact. I tried everything even unconventional methods, but all I did was trick myself into believing I could find my cure. It was a constant cycle of trial and error, and each time I failed, it only added to my feelings of hopelessness and despair.

As the years went by, I became more and more frustrated with myself. Why couldn't I just snap out of it? Why couldn't I find the strength within myself to overcome this? These questions consumed me, and I began to resent myself for not being able to fix my problems.

But little did I know; that this journey of self-help would eventually lead me down a path of self-discovery and recovery.

I started by making a phone call for help since I hit rock bottom, and no longer had an unconventional desire to "cure" myself. I began researching different methods for managing depression. Slowly but surely, I began to understand that there was no one-size-fits-all solution for mental health issues. What worked for others may not work for me, and that was okay.

I also realized that my self-help approach was flawed. Instead of trying to heal and improve myself, I was constantly looking for ways to "fix" myself. This mindset only added more pressure and negativity to my already fragile mental state.

So, I decided to change my approach. Instead of trying to fix myself, I focused on accepting and understanding myself. I started journaling and reflecting on my thoughts and emotions, trying to figure out the root causes of my depression.

Through this process, I discovered that my depression was a result of past traumas and unresolved issues. I had been ignoring these underlying problems and burying them deep within myself, hoping they would eventually disappear. But they didn't. They stayed with me, causing me pain and suffering.

It was a difficult and emotional journey, but with the help of therapy, I slowly started to confront and work through these traumas. It wasn't easy, and there were many setbacks along the way, but I kept pushing forward.

I also learned that self-care is crucial when it comes to managing depression. Taking care of my physical and emotional well-being was not a selfish act but a necessary one. I prioritized getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in activities that brought me joy and relaxation.

As I continued on this journey of self-discovery, I also gained a new perspective on life. I realized that my depression did not define me; it was a part of me, but it did not have to control me. I started to see myself in a more positive light and recognized my strengths and abilities.

Of course, there were still days when my depression seemed to take over, but now I had the tools and knowledge to cope with it better. I no longer felt like a victim of my mind; instead, I became the driver of my own life.

Looking back at the past 20 years of my life, it's hard to believe how far I have come. From feeling like there was no hope for me to now being in a place of self-acceptance and growth, it has been a long and challenging journey.

But through it all, I have learned some valuable lessons. First and foremost, mental health is not something that can be fixed overnight. It takes time, patience, and a lot of self-compassion. Second, there is no shame in seeking help and support. No one has to go through mental health struggles alone.

And most importantly, I have learned that sometimes, the "wrong" way can lead us to the right path. If I had never tried to help myself in my way, I may have never discovered what truly worked for me. It was through my mistakes and failures that I found my way to self-discovery and recovery.

If you are struggling with depression or any other mental health issue, know that you are not alone, and there is always hope for a better tomorrow. Don't be afraid to seek help and find your path to healing. And remember, it's okay to make mistakes and take detours on your journey; they may just lead you to where you need to be.

Hey Everyone :)
I feel like im struggling with a self centrist world view. It feels like everything that is happening in my live i always see it in direct correlation to me and think about what i did to make this happen, or what i did wrong etc.
This starts to hurt my relationship as I start to apologizing for a lot of things im not responsible for or have no control over to my fiance which she really does not like. This makes me feel very self cautions which then makes me focus more on myself.

Has anyone any idea on what i could try to shift my worldview to see me as part of my surroundings and not as the center of everything? Maybe religion or something like that, i just dont know

We all have that one song (or album) that gets us in the zone and makes us feel unstoppable. For me it is Prime by Daft Punk.

What's on your "productivity playlist"? Share your top picks, and let's create the ultimate soundtrack for getting things done!

Bonus points for explaining why the song motivates you. Bonus BONUS points if you create a collaborative playlist!

The Power of Emotional Intelligence: Understanding and Harnessing Your Emotions

Emotional intelligence, also known as EQ, has become a buzzword in recent years. But what does it really mean? And why is it important? In this blog, we will explore the concept of emotional intelligence and how it can impact our daily lives.

To put it simply, emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage our own emotions, as well as recognize and navigate the emotions of others. It involves being aware of our feelings and using that awareness to guide our thoughts and actions. It also involves being able to empathize and connect with others on an emotional level.

While IQ (intelligence quotient) has traditionally been seen as a measure of success, studies have shown that EQ is just as, if not more, important in determining success in life. In fact, research has found that people with high EQs tend to have stronger relationships, better mental health, and more career success.

So why is EQ so crucial? Let’s delve deeper into the key components of emotional intelligence and how they can benefit us.

Self-awareness The first component of EQ is self-awareness. This involves recognizing and understanding our emotions, both positive and negative. It also means being aware of how our emotions influence our thoughts and behaviors.

Being self-aware allows us to understand our own strengths and weaknesses, which can help us make better decisions in our personal and professional lives. For example, if we know that we tend to get anxious when faced with a new challenge, we can work on managing that anxiety to perform better in those situations.

Self-regulation The second component of EQ is self-regulation. This refers to the ability to control our emotions rather than letting them control us. It involves thinking before acting and managing our impulses.

Self-regulation is crucial in maintaining healthy relationships and avoiding impulsive or destructive behaviors. It also helps us stay focused on our goals and make rational decisions, rather than being driven by our emotions.

Empathy Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It is a key aspect of emotional intelligence as it allows us to connect with others on a deeper level and build strong relationships.

Having empathy enables us to see things from different perspectives and be more understanding and tolerant of others. It also allows us to offer support and comfort to those around us, making us better friends, partners, and colleagues.

Social skills The final component of EQ is social skills. This involves using our self-awareness, self-regulation, and empathy to effectively navigate social situations. It includes communication, conflict resolution, and building and maintaining relationships.

Having strong social skills can lead to greater success in both personal and professional areas of life. People with high EQs are often seen as great leaders, negotiators, and team players.

So how can we develop our emotional intelligence?

1. Practice self-reflection Take some time each day to reflect on your emotions and how they have influenced your thoughts and actions. This will help you become more aware of your feelings and how they impact your life.

2. Be mindful Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment without judgment. It can help us become more aware of our emotions as they arise and learn to manage them effectively.

3. Listen actively Actively listening to others can help us improve our empathy by truly understanding their perspective. It also shows that we care about their feelings, which can strengthen our relationships.

4. Take responsibility for your emotions Owning our emotions means taking responsibility for them rather than blaming others or external factors. This can help us regulate our emotions better and avoid projecting them onto others.

5. Practice emotional regulation techniques When faced with intense emotions, it can be helpful to have techniques to regulate them. Some examples include deep breathing exercises, journaling, or taking a break to calm down.

6. Seek feedback Asking for feedback from others can help us become more aware of our blind spots and areas for improvement. It can also help us understand how our emotions may be impacting those around us.

In conclusion, emotional intelligence is a crucial aspect of our lives that can greatly impact our success and well-being. By understanding and managing our emotions, we can improve our relationships, decision-making, and overall quality of life. So let’s strive to develop our EQ and harness the power of emotions.

Why Numbing Your Feelings Will End in Disaster

When your emotions start to feel too overwhelming, you may end up numbing the pain.

The weight of the world can feel like it’s on your shoulders.

Severe stress can cause a spiral of emotions, and it’s complicated and overwhelming to feel so many emotions at once. So, your body may just shut down and go numb.

Emotional numbness is a very scary feeling, it can feel like you don’t have any emotions all at once, all of a sudden.

In this video I talk about my experience with emotional numbness how it affected me. I also give you guys some tips on how you can navigate this scary situation and what you should avoid

https://youtu.be/BZ6scNGnPWM

How to be successful:

Drop out of high school and become a Fortnite twitch streamer. I did this and earn $0.01 per year and I'm in extreme debt

I am 18 years old and I've never had a girlfriend. I've been friendzoned by multiple different girls so I don't feel like a romantic relationship is for me. I'm happy to be by myself if there's nothing I can do about it. I also feel partly worried about being branded as an Incel because romantic relationships are not suited to me (I'm not misogynistic, it's not anyone else's fault, I'm just worried about being viewed as that).

i was good at math and science when i was young but now i just have a mind numbing job, housework, watch youtube and sleep. reading is ok but are there any other hobbies or activities i could pick up to use my mind? my body is legitimately tired.