So I (21m) was talking with one of my closest friends (21f, let’s call her Jane) and she was genuinely shocked that I had only been in 2 relationships because “I was cute, tall, and strong.” I told her it’s that I have a fear of being rejected and ruining already good friendships so I have a hard time asking people out.

My last relationship was with a Non-Binary person for about a month before we broke up because there was basically no spark. I later found out they kinda went crazy after that. My relationship before that was with the same person through most of high school, and we broke up because we didn’t think a long distance relationship would work.

I asked someone out last year and she turned me down, and when I was talking with Jane, she said the girl I asked out was a typical “mean girl” and was faking the kindness she showed me, so I wouldn’t have wanted to date her anyways. I asked another girl out, but I waited too long, and in the time I was delaying she had gotten a boyfriend, so that’s on me.

In both of my previous relationships I was the one approached. I have a hard time picking up signals mostly due to my bad social skills, so I have no idea if when a girl does that stare thing if it’s because I seem creepy or if it’s because they’re interested. I just can’t tell.

Is it literally just confidence? I feel like I’m not nearly as good looking as Jane says I am, and I always feel super awkward.

Edit: Jane has a boyfriend.