User deleted post
I just did a drug test to join the Navy, and another guy had to watch the tip of my dong the entire time, is that normal?
Probably not; a few hours ago this was a DUI-related drug test in Ohio; now it's a Navy test in San Diego?
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Ahh the ole’ Redditer getting off to comments on stupid posts they create. A tale as old as time.
Your comment should have way more up votes. OP is just looking for attention. If he really is trying to join the Navy he probably won't last long. Especially if he already has a dui😉
That’s wild 😭
Get this man to the top of the comments
Same shit when you're on probation, minus the 4 other guys things. I assume it's the same way in prison
When I was 19 I got a job as a student worker for the probation department. I thought that meant I would get to do some field work, or at the very least, be a sort of records clerk.
Nope, it meant I had to watch dudes pee.
Nice
Nice
You got to watch dudes pee... and you got paid on top of that? God has his favorites
I hear you. Best job ever!
Nice, I was a student worker around that age as well, except for the dept of child support lol.
When I was in pc1000 the guy would “watch” but he wasn’t staring. You could use a wizanator lol
I never saw an actual whizinator, but I did spot a couple homemade attempts.
Question is did you look the other way? Lol
Yeap, why we call UA’s “pecker checks”. Just one of many degrading situations we gotta go thru.
Prison worse 50 guys butt naked all races bumping into each other they make u bend over spread your cheeks amd cough while they aim a flashlight in there 🤣🤣
There's a title for a movie In There, Somewhere
Better learn to mess with the “meat hawks” lol
Get used to it as long as you're in the Navy or work for the Navy.
Well it was just the tip.
they must witness the ‘urine leaving the body’.
if you end up joining, just eliminate ‘privacy’ and ‘respect’ from your vocabulary.
I did urinalysis for like a year when I was in the Navy. I have seen literally thousands of dicks. AMA
What was your favorite one?
Not the person you were asking, but I got a good one.
I was voluntold to be an observer for a few months. Normally just a couple hours one morning a week hanging out in the hall by the bathroom interrupted by the occasional dick. NBD. One day our XO comes by to provide. Now, this guy was one of the most mundane, boring, milquetoast dudes I've ever met, which made what he did all the more shocking. See, he had apparently been on some kind of medication or supplement that had the side effect of turning his pee bright red. So he starts to piss red into the little bottle and starts screaming! "AHHH! AHHH! WHATS HAPPENING! IT HURTS OH GO-I'm just fuckin' with you, Cheezeburger. Gotcha good, didn't I?" I thought this dude was dying of dick cancer in front of me! Apparently the urinalysis coordinator knew about the deal, cause everyone was laughing when we left the head.
I got in trouble in the Marines when the person who is doing the observing leaned in really close, and I kissed him on top of the forehead.
LMAO!
"Hey, private, don't be gay. Now, where was I? Oh, yes, staring at dicks!"
“I will count and you will shake. 1…2…3?”
That’s fucked up. But funny!!!😆
And why?
Ded
Name 5 dicks
Dong, wong, wang, Peter and schlong.
What did I win?
Yea good ol schlong and schlort
A little jealous. Sounds like a dream job
Can you explain in great horrific detail every phallus you laid your eyes on?
How gross... but please, don't leave out any details
I like to tell my wife ive seen more dicks that a whore house. Upside you kinda lose any sense of being bashful or nervous about your body parts.
Thank you for your service
After I washout of Air Force pilot training I got myself a job in charge of the other people waiting to start pilot training or waiting for their next assignment/career field like me.
Some dude who was about to start said something along the lines of “I hear people who don’t make it through pilot training are just really lazy”. That mother fucker got every shit detail until he stared training which mostly included dick watching all day.
For the record I was not lazy, I could do all the dangerous shit in the Airplane just fine. It was flying in a strait line that was hard for me. Years later I finally got diagnosed with the ADHD.
as well as dignity
I must witness the urine leaving the body also, it's in my tinder profile
Especially if you live in the barracks. They go thru EVERYTHING. At least in the marine corps. We weren't allowed to have locks on anything on our rooms.
Don’t let me find trash in your trash can either…
Straight to jail prison
You’ll do this every six months during your navy career.
Thankfully when you get to the fleet they're far less strict, ship depending.
After boot camp never had to piss in front of another dude again.
Absolutely normal in all branches of the military
One of my most cherished memories from the army was doing this every few months.
We got a new PSG halfway through my Iraq tour. I'll never forget it. Got called for UA right after getting back from patrol, literally wouldn't even let me drop my kit.
So I get marched straight the nearest portajohn, and I kid you not this mf was holding his surefire so close to my cock I could feel the heat off the bulb singing my pubes.
Anyways. That was literally the first week he got to the platoon. Just a bizarre way to meet.
User deleted comment
17d
I once had to pee for God and country and it was a single stall restroom. Only it was so small the dudes shoulders were touching mine while I pissed. I never get “stage fright” for urinalysis. But I did that day lol.
You never forget your first time.
That dude at MEPS was eyeballing me so close I could feel his breath on my dick.
This happens every time you pee in the Navy. Not just during drug tests.
I take it you haven't had to drop and spread em yet.
That doctors job sucks. He looks at buttholes all day
When I was going through MEPS and the doctor got to this part, I said “Doc, don’t you want dinner and a movie first?” and she got really mad and said, “Do you think this is funny?? You try going to school for 8 years and having this job? You think you’re comedian when you don’t know what it’s like looking at assholes all day” I felt bad and I apologized. Then she said “No worries. Bend over.” I just wish she would call me back.
I’m not sure she just meant anatomical assholes in her response to you 🙄.
And that’s how I met your mother. Fr that would’ve been a cute ass story
That was the part that got me freaked out the most during MEPS. You want me to bend over and do WHAT??
That should be the moment of truth!
That's how you know you're in the Navy
Yeah, expect to have your dick watched for the rest of your military career. And sometimes, you too get to watch dicks. When you get out take comfort in knowing that somewhere out there, members of the world's greatest Navy are still standing the watch, all with the memory of your dick. It's a beautiful thing.
In the Army we really only got the “full treatment” at MEPS. Never had a meat gazer actually gaze at my meat again after that, over dozens of tests, it was always a halfhearted side eye at best.
Good to know the Navy is taking junk watch seriously.
Never had a meat gazer actually gaze at my meat again after that, over dozens of tests, it was always a halfhearted side eye at best.
Damn, they shouldn't be half hearted. At that point you gotta ask em to describe it for you, attention to detail is everything
Prepare to have your willy seen many, many more times during your time in the military
In the civilian world, some people pay for that experience…
We call that the wiz quiz.
In the Marine Corps we called the guys who were voluntold to be the watchers, pecker checkers.
User deleted comment
17d
This will be the absolute least of your concerns if you make it
For real. I’m retired Navy and urinalysis wouldn’t even make it onto page one of things to be aware of, unless I already knew the applicant was a user.
Just wait until the duck walk in MEPS
User deleted comment
17d
Also, be aware that you'll be showering completely naked about 1 foot from other guys during bootcamp
You get used to it, just don't blatantly stare at anyone else's goods and you'll be fine
Bootcamp was wild. The things you get used to in like a week are insane. I’m a shy and private person and it didn’t take long to just become completely unfazed by anything.
BAHAHAHA! "1 foot". It's ZERO ft in the Marine Corps
You can sneak a peek through your fingers when pretending to wash your face.
looks up and notices eye contact
“No bro, I was only checking to see if you were looking.”
My uncle also runs an old school forum if you have any DEP questions
I’ve made observers that I didn’t like watch me poop while I pee a few times while in the Navy.
When I was in the regulation stated something to the effect of the observer having to see the urine exit the body. It’s normal, had plenty of people watching mine and I had to watch plenty of others. I had to do a urine test for the FAA and was shocked when they just handed me an empty cup and told me to go to the restroom and do it, was waiting for the doctor to follow me in.
The urine changes our bodies? Thats a fun fact.
I knew that and I’ve never been in the navy. Did you do any research at all before just signing up?
Shhh, that's how we get them.
Navy = Never again volunteer yourself.
Welcome aboard shipmate!
When I was in the Army, our COP (combat outpost) in Afghanistan had no doors/curtains on the shitter stalls. We got over it real quick and dealt with it. You will too!
Did 21 years in the Navy. I’ve seen literally hundreds of dicks.
Just like penis inspection day back in middle school gym class
When checking in to “A” school, all students had to perform urinalysis. Hundreds of guys. One poor 2nd class petty officer had to sit on a stool in to bathroom corner and directly observe EVERY guy peeing into the cups, 5 at a time. Repeat for each class.
I was like “Who did he piss off to get THIS job?” I’m sure he has PTSD from that collateral duty.
Lmao welcome to the Navy. Get ready to lose any sense of self.
That's not your tip, that's the Navy's tip now. Welcome aboard!
Yup. Gotta see it exit the body 🤣
Enjoy! It won't be the last time.
First time I thought it would be funny to do a little helicopter move since I had an audience. They did not appreciate that. I do not recommend trying to do anything funny.
LOL. Yes, and for the duration of your enlistment this will continue to occasionally happen during random testings, but they get a little less intrusive, usually once at your command.
Welcome aboard brother 🫡
I did a drug test 25+ times in my 5 year stint. This will be pretty normal for you going forward.
Today I learned that there's a thing called a "whizzinator" ... and I can't stop chuckling about the name... 😏
That said, apparently there's a market in "clean urine" to get around these tests. 😑
Does make me wonder why the Navy (especially) doesn't do a blood test instead? (I know something about the timing issue - but, still...🤷🏻♂️)
There's also UrineLuck
Ok, curiosity got the better of me and it is both terrible, and not as awful as I'd imagined. Essentially, it's a bunch of compounds that will bind and deactivate drug metabolites in a urine sample.
It's terrible because it's a way to cheat intentionally on a urine drug screen; but at least it's not something disgusting.
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17d
I guess I don't understand the efforts here - I'd simply set up a process where a man strips (completely naked), and then has to pee in a cup within sight of a camera. Then the man gets dressed again. Seems simpler - but slower...
I'm not going to discuss what to do with women cadets because - nope, not going there.
Think of that guy, it’s his job to do that all the time.
User deleted comment
17d
Ah good. I just imagined (as a civilian) someone making a major screwup and having this post for a while.
Totally normal. I used to have to be the watcher of women's pee test (I'm a woman). It's not fun for us either.
Yes. Get used to it. Almost every piss test in the Navy will be like this. Just drink lots of water.
welcome to the navy squibb
I assure you the Pecker Checker doesn't enjoy it anymore than you do.
Nuts to butt's buddy. Get used to it
Once, a buddy and I got hired at the same plant, which required a full physical, including the old finger up the butt. When we were driving home, he asked, Did the doc stick his finger up your ass? (which of course he had). I responded, Why the hell would he do that? I will cherish the look on his face forever.
You don't like dudes staring at your cock bro?
Drop your pants to your ankles next time to assert your dominance over the observer
At MEPS that's usually protocol. They don't want you trying to hide something in your pants to mess with the test, so it's pretty much bare assed, cocks and socks.
That’s why you take a shit during the UA. Give them the full experience.
I studied all night for this by eating a lot of asparagus
Totally normal - wait til you get to bootcamp and have to take community showers. You learn to get over being naked around other people reeeeeeally quickly lol. Welcome to military life!
Ahhh… the ol’ Pecker Checker, the Sackswatch, Peeping Tom, Edward Pissyhands… welcome to the suck. It could be worse. You could be doing that in prison. Give it a bit and you’ll be on the other end of it.
It will be your duty one day too
I went in all shy like that, now could shit in a 5 gallon bucket in the middle of a room while having a conversation with people walking by. It builds talent. Kinda.
He held the tip when I did it
It’s normal these days
LOL! Just wait until you go through MEPS, if you have not already...
You guys, these comments 😂
So accurate and so funny.
You can join us at dongwatchers anonymous. We meet every Thursday 3pm at the Petco Park bathrooms.
No one told this guy about penis inspection day.
Here’s an old meme from the 2000’s which we used to jokes about…it was weird then, I figured it’d be normal by now. Hooyah!
Wait til you do the duck walk at MEPS..
They are called wiener watchers. One day if you work very hard and are a good sailor, you make it the privilege of being a weiner watcher too.
When I joined, I couldn’t Pee in front of these dudes to save my life. One other drill instructor asked “would it be easier to take sh** to get the pee out?” I affirmed. I then concluded to sit on the jon while doing my business. As soon as the pee came out into the cup, he screamed “SUCCESS!!”. Although embarrassing, I felt like I bonded better with that drill instructor after that.
In the Navy!!
They own you now. Your dick is no longer yours. Have fun!
Be a shame is they got hit with some high pressure splash back 😂
I've heard a story about a military piss test where someone popped hot for drugs, but managed to successfully disqualify the test because after having deposited urine in the cup, while the soldier overseeing the test was walking away, someone in line had a seizure. Because the guy overseeing the test was distracted with the guy having a seizure for all of thirty seconds, the chain of custody was broken and the popped-hot sample was therefore disqualified.
Do they watch the vag too?
The worst job I can think of is the guy who has to inspect the buttholes of the new inmates arriving to the prison diagnostic center.
It’s the place where you get sent after sentencing and they determine where to send you to prison. Hundreds of inmates going in and coming out every day.
And one guy does nothing but looks at inmate’s buttholes for eight hours straight.
Just one after another.
Someone earns money for what I gladly do for free?
I have heard of fake dongs being available for sale that have an internal bladder to defeat the wiz quiz. So sometimes they'll even look closer to see if it's really your dong.
Yup. There's a manual for piss tests, it specifically says the proctor has to "Observe the urine leaving the body." We called them "Meat Gazers" or "Pecker Peepers" when I was in the Army. This is also true for every urinalysis you'll take after you're in. As a general rule, once you get a to a unit they don't care so much because they know you, but it's still in the regulations that they're supposed to watch your dick when you pee.
They made us strip down butt naked and the meat gazer watched everything. This done to ensure no one is using someone else's urine for the drug test.
You’ll have 50 to 100 random tests and they SHOULD all be like this, but in my 11 years in I’ve had maybe 3 total that were this by the book.
If that made you uncomfortable don't join. You're not ready
Yes. It’s like that for a lot of drug testing. Trying to catch fake penis and urine for passing test.
this wasn't a thing in the 90s.... they would hover outside of the stalls. i imagine with all the piss test stuff for sale at the plethora of vape shops it's necessary now
Might not have actually been joining the navy.
lol, What rank does one have to level up to be a dong top watcher?
Wait until you go to Boot Camp and I have to shower naked with 30 other ppl at the same time (water, soap, water, out) don’t mess up the rotation lol
If you join any service a whole lot more dudes gonna see that dong. And you're about see a whole lot more dong yourself.
Do they do this for the women? Asking for a friend.
Sounds about right, I don’t remember lifting up our shirts though. One guy straight up said “I can’t pee unless I’m sitting down” and we all busted out laughing. He was trying to join the Marines. I wonder what happened to that kid.
Probably an elected official in a blue state 🤷🏻♂️
They'll make you do it right before you leave for bootcamp, another one when you get there and you won't be able to move on to the next step until you pee(happened to me) and once you go to school everytime there is a holiday block...and once you are in your command doing your job, randomly selected to do it.
So yes, very normal and it sucks
Do they watch females? I'm not joking, I'm curious because as bad as watching the tip of a dudes pecker would be, watching it leave a female would be a whole different level of intrusive. And if they don't watch females, then that sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Totally normal. Said person is called a meat gazer.
Meat gazing detail. I forgot very normal things in the military are very not normal outside of it.
Wait til they stick a finger up your butt
Welcome Aboard Seaman ⚓
Welcome to the Navy brother, where we all watch the tip
Glad all they did waa shave my air when i joined usmc
Find a job you love and you never have to work a day in your life
This has got to be the most gen z question of all time.... whats the big deal, I thought everybody was gay nowadays
Honest question, why do people submit themselves to this garbage treatment and no privacy?
You will appreciate these unannounced breaks from work! When I was in it was piss test Fridays and it was a guaranteed 4 hours of no work. Yeah it sucks that some dude is looking at your junk but it’s really whatever! It’s only gay if you enjoy it!
Guy probably just volunteers to watch drug test as a hobby. How selfless.
It’s normal. Abandon your sense of modesty though because you’re going to have to get used to showering in front of other guys too.
It feels weird at first but you’ll have bigger things to worry about and you’ll get over it.
<beavis and butthead voices> heh heh heh, he said bigger things
Just the tip
User deleted comment
17d
Thats a new one but Im not overly surprised. Little known fact about the military is that you will see more dicks in that period of time than you have ever imagined. You stop giving a fuck pretty fast.
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17d
Yep, that's how that goes. A unit near ours had a drug issue (Army) so the CO called for a 100% test 3 days in a row. Lots of guys thought they were clear after the first one and got nailed. Don't screw around with drugs in the military. Just wait 4 years and do whatever you want.
Go figure the Navy wants to see your peepee 🙄 bunch of Peter puffers
It’s normal……. In Prison!
You're making a mistake. Don't get suckered into the military.
Yeah that's normal, same for me when I joined. They get way more chill about it once you make it out of boot camp though. Also, side note, make your own choices, but the navy/military is trash
Welcome to the navy