So context: My husband and I are highschool sweethearts. We’ve only been with each other. We have children (2M and 4F) and my husband is in the military and basically just… always gone. (Work keeps him busy as he’s a recruiter ) he never really thinks about US (the kids and I) and while he is my very best friend, I feel like we only ever talk about him and his work. (He rarely asks me about my day or if I tell him about my day he never asks any follow up questions) He’s an alright dad who does help but I have to ask him to do it (IE: Could you change babies diaper? Could you let out the dogs?) just stuff he doesn’t notice because again, I don’t think he thinks about us. He’s flat out told me he doesn’t have much of a connection with the kids and that’s, “normal” and that “all dads work all the time.” (His dad is also a workaholic) He has ADHD and can only think about 1 thing, which is work. This also has been an issue in our sex lives lately because he really only ever wants me to focus on him.
I guess long story short, I’m bored. Kind of just feel like I’m just “here” as his wife. I feel like if I just KNEW I could find someone who could also be my best friend but genuinely want to also be invested in mine and the kids lives, I’d leave. Does this sound fixable? Does the situation sound bad and like, something I should leave? Is this just military recruiting (if you’ve experienced that) I just feel… nothing lately. Shouldn’t I feel something in my marriage?
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