Is it reasonable to ask my (35F) bf (40m) to sit down when he pees?

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I don't think there's anything wrong with walking him right back into the bathroom with a brand new tub of bleach wipes and telling him to sort out how he'd like to handle his mess.

sometimes he doesn’t aim well in the toilet and I have to clean up the bathroom after he leaves and sometimes there are even drops on the floor. I’m really OCD about cleanliness. Can I ask him to sit down when he pees at my place or would that be offensive to him?

"Babe, sometimes your aim is not the greatest when you pee, I got you some wipes, here's where they are, please use them to clean up both the seat and the floor before you leave the bathroom. Thanks."

He’s a 40 year old man who doesn’t clean up after himself. I wipe up my piss if I miss even in a public bathroom.

Just ask him to clean up after himself.

He’s FORTY!! Are you serious!?!? You go in there after he uses the bathroom, you point out the mess to him and you ask him if he thinks this magically disappears or if another adult has to clean up after him like he is a child.

Yes, and I think more men should sit down to pee, period. Edit: If someone has trouble with aiming/dribbling, they should sit if they can. I think we need to destigmatize sitting down to pee, wiping the tip of the penis with tp afterwards, and making sure to wash your hands.

If you cannot sit for medical issues, I am not talking about you.

I swear people are brainless NPCs lately god damn. This should not need to be a gentle and non-confrontational conversation with a man who has been alive for four decades. Unreasonable behavior doesn’t warrant a reasonable conversation after a certain point. Anyone unaware that you are not supposed to leave fucking piss on other people’s shared things has other character flaws unrelated to piss and we should all stop rewarding it by indulging it.

“There is piss on my toilet. Not cool. Fix it. Don’t let it happen again.” It happening again is deliberate disrespect.

Why are you more worried about offending him, than having a clean/hygienic living space.

I can’t think of anything worse than stepping barefoot, or sitting on the seat, in his pee(!)

This is a bare minimum of standards.

You can ask him to do that but if he doesn’t want to, ask him to clean up. Honestly, he should have had this habit by now. I am not perfect and have missed the aim but I always make sure to check the seat after I’m done. It should be a habit automatically but I am surprised by how many guys don’t get it.

It’s reasonable to ask. Obviously you can’t make him sit but you can make him clean up for himself. I’ve know many guys who say they sit at home/in peoples homes specifically to not make a mess. So it’s not like it’s an uncommon thing. Just ask politely.

I will say it again and again, toilets are not urinators! They're not made for pissing standing up! Even if your aim is perfect the splash piss gets everywhere.

Decent men sit down at their home toilets, they they so themselves.

Not unreasonable. But as a guy who now pees sitting down because it keeps the toilet cleaner, and thinks all guys should do the same, he may not be receptive to changing his routine. He may come around slowly but for now, suggest both cleaning his pee OR sitting down when he pees. Avoiding cleaning may help motivate him to sit when he pees. It definitely motivated me lol

When Im at my girlfriends place I stand but always wipe up any drops around the rim. Id ask him to do that instead of sitting

Why do men even stand up…? It’s just messy what’s the point

Not really, no.

If you want a solution to his messy peeing, re-potty-training him is not it. Tell him, and expect him, to clean up after himself.

That would be reasonable.

In my house, the options are either 1. Practice good aim AND check for drops/wipe up well,

Or

1. Sit down.

If you won't/can't do 1, then ya gotta do 2.

wrong to ask him to sit to pee - not wrong to ask him to clean up after himself - easy peasy

Have a polite discussion with him about his aim and firmly tell him that needs to sit down, completely clean up before departing or to hold it in until he’s outside.

Ask him to sit or clean up after himself. My wife is like you and although I find it annoying I clean up after every time. I like to pee standing up but I use some tissue paper to make sure that I leave no trace. I also wipe the floor. If I get up at night though I’ll sit because I don’t turn on the light. Just let him know it’s prison rules, and you’re serving life in your head.

Don't ask him to sit. Just make him clean up after himself. All of us other guys do it.

I don’t know that you need to tell him how to slice the problem, just that he needs to do it. Sitting down seems the easy solution, but you can also tell him to clean up after himself. Leave wipes out for him to make it easy

You can insist he cleans up after himself.

You can suggest he sits to prevent the problem (but there's no guarantee).

You can't suggest he adopts an approach symbolically associated with women just because you TELL him to do so without coming across as controlling, disrespectful and emasculating.

You are not OCD. Nobody should leave pee on the floor after peeing.

Stop gaslighting yourself.

He should be cleaning it. The fact that he cannot pee inside the toilet and he has a twin bed, at 40, suggest he is a loser.

no that is not reasonable. what you can do tho is demand he cleans up after himself.

yeah just make him clean up his own shit.

also side note: unless u actually have OCD, it’s really not cool to say “i’m so OCD!!” just because you have hang ups about cleanliness. also not wanting piss in your floor is not OCD, that’s just basic hygiene.

Reasonable because he doesn’t clean up after himself and pisses like a 4 year old. But to make the request for now reason then yeah it not.

I mean he probably will have a problem with that. Just explain the issue and say if he wants to stay at your apartment, he has to clean before he leaves.

Ya he’s 40, he can clean up after himself. Take him back in the bathroom and tell him to clean up his mess. UPDATEME

Well, now you know why he only has a twin bed at his place.

tell him to aim better. if he doesn’t improve then discuss it with him about sitting down while urinating. as a guy as well and to be honest, we don’t really think about these things.

Completely reasonable request. You should also consider whether you want a bf who doesn't sit down at a loo they don't own and clean themselves.

It’s reasonable to ask him to not make a mess, or to clean up after himself if he does. It’s not reasonable for you to tell him how to make that happen.

You can tell him to hit the toilet or sit down. I’d give him the option. It’s not that hard to not miss.

My wife requested this when we married and I obliged. Something I pee standing for the sheer pleasure of disobeying her, it’s thrilling.
When I’m feeling extra daunting I even pee standing with the door OPEN!

Have you considered peeing standing up as a demonstration?

You can ask, but he may not sit down (and it doesn't work for everyone, especially if he's well-endowed). I agree with the bleach wipes or similar: seated or not, he needs to clean up after himself.

I would never ask a man to sit down while peeing; it's emasculating.

Don't ask him to sit

NO. STOP EMASCULATING HIM.