My partner is not a very affectionate person, and because my upbringing was pretty bad it clashes with my need for reassurance a lot. He will shoo me off and tell me I'm "too much" when I'm trying to be affectionate - and it really hurts.
Sometimes I tell him I feel like he's fed up and sick of me, and the response I always get is sighing and "well obviously that isn't true", which funnily enough - doesn't reassure me. At all.
The problem is when I start to shut down and I clam up, I will start crying and he will tell me I'm doing "crocodile tears". I don't know what to say to defend myself so instead I just stay quiet and try to ignore him while he talks to me like a child.
I hate it, he will just keep saying things like my parents did when I was little. "You shouldn't do that should you? So why are you doing it?". I usually wait till he stops talking and goes to sit down to get up and go to bed. It completely takes the light out of my day and while I could wake up excited and hopeful to do lots of things an hour ago, I always end up just wanting to curl up in bed and cry.
What do I do? I just want to be loved.