Hey everyone,

I'm F in my 30s and recently went through a pretty rough 2 days with a guy, also in his 30s, who I was seeing. We have been seeing each other during November-January, but we took a pause at that time because we both needed some time to focus on other priorities, and returned again together after he had an accident.

On Friday, we had a significant argument, and I felt deeply disrespected and hurt by his behavior.

For the past month, we had been on some amazing dates. Everything was super happy and fun, and it felt like nothing could go wrong. We were really close, and our time together was filled with positivity even better this time than the first one as we were getting closer to each other.

However, things took a turn on Friday. When I went to his place, he had a large white stain on his shirt, which I mistakenly thought was cocaine. His face was red, and he was acting very possessive of the TV remote, getting angry whenever I tried to switch anything. This behavior was out of character and made me feel uncomfortable and unwelcome in his apartment.

Feeling confused and thinking he might have taken something, I decided to leave. But as I was leaving, he started calling me derogatory names repeatedly. He even tried to call me twice on the phone afterward.

Yesterday morning, he apologized for his behavior, saying he thought we were playing some kind of foreplay game and didn't realize it made me uncomfortable. He mentioned that he wanted to talk things out and apologized for his lack of consideration.

Later, I went to an event, and after it ended, I decided to try and talk to him again. I knew he would be at a certain bar, so I went there to see if we could talk things out.

We ended up talking behind the bar for almost an hour. He apologized again and said he wanted to solve things out. He suggested we go home, have a chilled evening, talk things out peacefully, and try again. He said he would go get his stuff from his friend's table and then come back so we could take an Uber together.

However, he didn't show up. I went back to their table, and he was telling me to go home. His friends were pushing him to tell me to leave, and he was very dismissive, saying he wanted to hang out with his friends instead. At one point, he even told me he found me unattractive and wasn't interested in me anymore, despite having apologized earlier and shown affection.

I left feeling humiliated and hurt, questioning my decision to go to the bar and whether I had embarrassed myself by trying to resolve things. Now, I'm just trying to process everything and move on from this experience.

Was I wrong for trying to talk things out? How do I deal with this feeling of humiliation and hurt?

During this period I developed feelings for him again, and now I feel super hurt and shattered, I’ve been crying since I went back home.