I have been struggling to connect with my husband for years now as when we are together and trying to connect be it physically or emotionally. When we do he’s always making jokes about my body, often borderline or straight up body shaming (calling me a whale or a lump of fat)

I have PCOS and gained weight after we were married, I am on meds now and am slowly losing weight but apparently not fast enough.

His idea of “forplay” is to say “your so squishy” over and over while touching/tickling me, have sex and the most serious thing he will say is “I love you” after. I told him that I’d like him to say things along the lines of “come here”, “I want you” or “you feel good” just something more romantic and doesn’t feel degrading or like I’m just an object as that’s what I feel like.

I used to get really emotional when trying to have these conversations with him but over time I just feel numb.

I asked him tonight when the whole “squishy” thing began and he got upset… said that he’s a goofball around those he’s comfortable with and that I am not seeing him. I told him that I appreciate that and that I’d like to be goofy with him but I also want to feel wanted by someone who speaks to me like an adult. Maybe I am wrong but his words make me feel like I’m with a kid and it’s a turn-off… He’s said in the past he’d try to do better but that’s not gotten anywhere.

Am I wrong? And is there a better way I can approach this? I feel like this on other things in the relationship but if I we can’t work out this “small” thing how can we work on the bigger things?