Last week I was held in a psych ward for 7 days. This had a lot to do with my drinking problem.
My boyfriend knows this, and knows that I have a problem with alcohol. I would also say that he has a problem with alcohol but I don't think he would say that about himself.
On the night I was released, he was supposed to stay the night with me so I wouldn't be alone. He initially was pretty hesitant after getting off work, saying he was tired and didn't have enough gas. I live very close to his workplace. He eventually did come over. So, that hurt my feelings-- that he didn't seem to think it was very important to stay the night with me, the day I am released from hospital.
So it happened to be my birthday a few days ago, about two days after I was released from hospital. He asked me about 4 times if I wanted to drink for my birthday. I told him no because I am an alcoholic and I'm desperately trying to stay sober. He kept saying it was "okay" to drink around him, and that it was "okay" because it was my birthday.
Fast forward to my birthday evening. He comes over after work. And long story short, he is buzzed. He drank after work, came over to my house, wasn't going to tell me about it, and again suggested we go out for drinks. I told him to leave.
He's been very upset the last few days. We have spoken since my birthday (Saturday) and I've told him that I felt incredibly let down and not supported by someone whom I really need on my team. How his actions were ridiculous and seems like common sense would tell you not to do that, if nothing else.
Now he's been touching base daily, telling me he supports me and is asking questions about my healing. Also reminding me that he has supported me in the past.
He has hidden his drinking from me in the past, too. I feel like this was his last shot and he blew it, but he doesn't see it like that because I always forgive him.
I don't know what to do, I am so confused. I love him but I just... feel so let down.