My older brother went no contact with our mother eight years ago. It has always been my intention to do the same thing, but I have never had the opportunity; I'm 24, live out of home, and am relatively stable, but my mother is lives alone doesn't have any family that speaks to her and doesn't maintain friendships, so she has no support system, and relies on me for financial support, emotional support, and to help with her health issues.

Recently she had a medical emergency and told me that I needed to get to her house immediately to take care of her animals while she goes to the hospital. I live almost 200 kms away from her and don't have a car, and it would have taken me over 6 hours to get to her on public transport. I told her not wait if it was an emergency, to call an ambulance, and I would get there as soon as I could. She hung up the phone on me and sent me several text messages telling me I neglect her, and that I am a terrible person, etc. I told her that it was no time to try to manipulate me, and that she needed to call an ambulance, or I would call one for her. She stopped replying to texts and calls, so I called an ambulance for her.

A couple of hours later she picked up the phone, told me she had refused to go with the paramedics, and that I had embarrassed her by sending an ambulance to her house, that it was disgusting of me to expect emergency services to do my job of taking care of her, that I abused her by moving out and not visiting enough, that I am never to speak to her again, and that I am not welcome at her house ever again. She then hung up the phone and sent me several text messages reinstating how disgusting I am, and that she never wants to speak to me again. I said "Ok" and blocked her number.

She spent about a week emailing me 2-3 times every day, telling me that I am disgusting, abusive, that due to my neglect she has to leave her job and surrender her pets, that she will die at home and rot in her bed because of me, that she is going to break into my house to steal my valuables, that she is going to report me to the police for elder abuse and have me sent to prison, that it is my fault we are "fighting" and all she wants is an apology, that she knows I am still her loving daughter and have just been led astray by "bad friends", and that she needs me to go to her and take care of her. I wrote back once informing her I will no longer be speaking to her, and wished her luck seeking help with her mental health.

I've been dreaming about going no contact for years and this seems like a good of an opportunity as I'll ever get to do so, but I'm still concerned about her health issues and the welfare of her animals. However the situation she is in is entirely the consequences of her own actions, and I've been trying to improve our relationship for years, and gotten nowhere. She expects me to be at her beck & call whenever she needs something, but had to call me on my last birthday and ask how old I am, and then complained about how terrible her life is without me living with her for an hour. She does not understand why my brother won't speak to her, and refuses to acknowledge she has ever been anything but a perfect parent.

Ever since I moved out, she only speaks to me when she needs something or to ask for money. I've had the realization that there is nothing in our relationship that can ever be salvaged and all I'm doing is hurting myself by trying. I still feel like I'm abandoning her to suffer through her health issues alone by going no contact even though she initiated it. I just wish that it could have happened when she was more stable, but she has never been stable. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing.