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Is it weird my mom won’t allow me to wear shorts in the house when her boyfriend is around?
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The parts of your body that you need consent to see on other people should be covered on you. You need consent to see other people naked, therefor you shouldn’t parade around naked in front of people. It’s that simple. And again, if there’s a problem, it’s because a grown man has decided to look at a minor in a sexual manner. No 16 year old is parading around naked in front of their mom’s boyfriend, and if they are, it is up to the adults in the house to be responsible and appropriate.
Hmmm.. I don't really agree, but I see your point now. I feel like a MICRO BIKINI is just as bad as being naked in terms of "consent" (legal or not in public really doesn't have anything to do with it, imo). But that's just my opinion. And I know you didn't ask, so feel free to ignore me, haha. Thanks for sharing.
Yeah, that’s your opinion. If you REALLY don’t want to see women in micro bikinis, don’t look for them on the internet and don’t go to pools or beaches. The thing about living in a world full of diverse people is that people are going to make decisions about their body that don’t align with your preferences and you have to decide for yourself whether or not it’s a big enough issue to change YOUR behavior. You cannot control anyone else but yourself.
You're thinking of this from a women's perspective. I'm thinking of it from an (albeit over-protective) man's perspective. Honestly, at least 90% of the men I've met in my life were straight up CREEPS. This made me have extreme trust issues with other men, especially when it comes to them with any younger females in my family/friend circle. I want them to know that there are many creeps out there and I want them to be safe. It may not be FAIR, but that has nothing to do with it. It's about not having to be another victim or statistic. It's about not being too naïve in this cruel, harsh world.
Modesty has absolutely nothing to do with men creeping on you. Have you ever seen those “What I Was Wearing” exhibits? Basically they take the clothes of sexual assault victims and tell the story of their assault. It’s a lot of sweatpants and hoodies. A concerning amount of baby clothes. I dress modestly myself due to comfort reasons and I’ve been creeped on in ankle length wool skirts and sweaters down to my wrists and up to my neck. I cover my hair. AND YET, men will still make uncouth comments about “what I’m hiding” and how it’s good I “leave my body to the imagination”. Pregnant nuns don’t happen because a sister slipped up and wore a micro bikini, it happens because assault is about power and entitlement. And in fact, most women and girls are assaulted by someone they know! Someone who has convenient access to them, who people in their life are less likely to expect. I get your heart is in the right place but the problems we have with rape and assault in our country have everything to do with the messaging we send to our boys and men that they “can’t control themselves” and “if a girl says no that just means try harder”. Trust me, if modesty was a cure all for rape and assault, every woman in America would be in a burqa.
I agree with you. It's not a cure-all, at all. And it's not fair how society sometimes tries to put the blame on the victim. But anything you can do helps, imo. Think of the extreme example. A young girl completely naïve. Flirtatious. Touchy-feely (but not over-the-line, maybe lots of hugs?). They might think it's a healthy relationship, when in fact they're being groomed. In my opinion clothing is just 1 aspect, but it's something to consider.
There’s a big difference between teaching women and girls about the signs of grooming and telling them that their behavior is going to lead to them being assaulted. Because again, if a predator wants to assault someone, it’s not going to be based on what they’re wearing or what they’re doing. They’re going to choose a target that’s easy and who they think isn’t going to put up a fight or report them to the police. Maybe that’s the girl whose overly friendly, or maybe they think she’s too confident and self assured and will fight back. Or maybe they’ll pick the quiet girl whose always at the back of the room in more modest clothes, and they think she’s modest because she has low self esteem and is ashamed of her body, and therefor will take any attention given to her. The thought process for predators is entirely “who can I assault and get away with it”. Will they have preferences? Absolutely, but everyone has different preferences and sometimes that’s the scantily clad party girl. But it just as equally could be a girl covered head to toe in loose fabric. If you want to give women and girls advice that can help them avoid being a target, the best thing you can tell them is wherever they go to look confident, self assured, and aware of their surroundings, and again even THEN you’re not 100% safe. Clothes will do jack all to protect you.