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My mother just told me I’m not a Mother yet and cannot celebrate Mother’s Day
Rant“You didn’t call me when you went into labor?!”
Sorry, slipped my mind, too busy becoming a mother.
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3mo
OP, please tell your L&D nurses she is not welcome at the hospital while you labor and give birth. They will not hesitate to have security (and possibly the police if she becomes belligerent enough) escort her off the premises. You don't need her stressing you out.
When I was pregnant with my first, during mother's day, my Aunt (who is child free and has never given birth), bought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers. She hosted Mother's Day so that my mother, grandmother, and I could relax. She got me my first Mother's Day card. I had a rough first pregnancy, and she dished me up a plate and essentially waited on me hand and foot lol. I suffered through infertility for many years, and she was SO happy for me.
This is how you deserve to be treated, OP. Her rubbing her complication free pregnancies in your face is bitchy and uncalled for.
Also, you can tell the L&D staff that it is a difficult family situation and 9 times out of 10 they will be the bad guy for you and pretend your doctor won't allow extra people or pretend there is some rule. I don't love the idea of lying or playing games, but if you think it could cause real damage to you and your mom's relationship for you to not allow her in the room it might be worth it
My nurse told me the code word was "pepsi." If I wanted her to bounce someone, I asked for a pepsi. Thankfully I never had to use it, but it was a wonderful thing she did for me.
This! Don’t tell her when you’re in labor. It’s not worth it, she’s gonna be a dick to you either way OP.
Also, ignore her. Celebrate Mother’s Day. For my first Mother’s Day I was barely 2 months pregnant and my fiance got me nice pictures of us done and took me to my favorite restaurant. Growing and nurturing an unborn baby is a lot of work! You are already a mother (:
Or "sorry, thought I be being 'too inclusive'."
You’re a Mama ❤️ you celebrate that little baby growing inside you!
Tell her that by her logic, she isn't a grandmother, and therefore has no right to updates or opinions on your child.
Edit: also, tell the hospital staff to keep her out of the delivery room - birth is not a spectator sport.
🗣️BIRTH IS NOT A SPECTATOR SPORT!!!!
Omg !!! This is so perfect
So all the women out there who have had miscarriages, stillborns, etc are not moms because their babies didn't live outside the womb? That's insane. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I have struggles with my mom about this pregnancy but not to this extent. Celebrate!!!
Also congratulations!!! 🤍
I completely agree with everything you said. I had a second trimester miscarriage and am covered in stretch marks from the pregnancy, so people that say things like that completely invalidate all the love and sacrifice women like me gave to our angels. It’s insane that anyone holds that opinion.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had 2 first trimester losses and they devastated me so I can only imagine your pain. Prayers to you. 🤍
Much love to you mamma. Wishing you all the peace you can achieve.
No ma'am, your mother can fuck right off. She is WRONG. You ARE a mother. You SHOULD celebrate this Mother's Day.
And I wouldn't even tell her when you were in labor, much less let her in the delivery room. Don't reward her for making you feel small.
I’d let the hospital know that no one is allowed in except husband just in case she finds out somehow and shows up too.
Yes! Great idea.
i wasn’t going to celebrate mother’s day when i was pregnant with my first but my friend got me flowers! i was 15 weeks pregnant. screw your mom
All of this! Celebrate if you want to! She doesn’t need to be included in your Mother’s Day celebration if she’s going to be a brat about it and put you down. And definitely don’t tell her you’re in labor if you don’t want her randomly showing up
It’s not your moms decision if she can be in the delivery room. It’s yours. Don’t let her control you. My midwife told me that if someone is going to be upset that you don’t want them in the delivery then they never deserved to be there in the first place.
1) your mother sounds horrific tbh. You’re a mother and deserve to celebrate
2) if you don’t want her in the room inform your hospital and ask to not allow anybody else in and they’ll keep her out
Not to be too mean but your mom sucks. BOOOOO!!! You’re a mother and should be celebrated as such. Also you should not do shit for her this Mother’s Day, but that’s just me.
A real mother supports their child, not reminding them how different they are. Different people's bodies react differently to pregnancy. It's not like anyone would choose to be sick or have a rough birth.
Probably petty, but if she asked why I didn't celebrate her mother's day, I'd probably outright tell her that. Especially at the moment, my emotions are UNchecked right now 😫
OMG came here to say the same thing. I'd totally be like "Real mothers don't say purposefully hurtful things to their children" and skip celebrating her this Mother's Day. Just do something nice between you and your husband.
Grain of salt though - Pregnancy overall has me feeling petty and spicy AF, but hearing about asshole/entitled blood relatives of pregnant people probably sets me off the most. I lost my mother to cancer a decade ago and it pains me that she isn't here with me every step of the way -- this "not-grandmother" doesn't seem to fully appreciate the precious people she has in her life.
First of all, I just want to say THANK YOU to everyone who is commenting and saying such kind words. Also, to everyone who has been through the same thing or something similar, I am truly sorry. It is difficult. I feel you. I understand.
I wanted to give some background to my post. My mother IS a narcissist. A huge one. She is almost 60. Growing up, she was extremely hard on me and not my younger sister. My mother has made the expectations for me so much higher than my sister. Yet, I am the only one here for my parents still. My younger sister only calls or comes when she needs money. I truly do everything for my parents and I am treated badly.
The trauma I have been through since I was a child with her. It makes me cry thinking about my future daughter. She doesn’t see it as trauma, but it was. It also makes my heart break thinking about my future daughter and the things she will say to her. I wasn’t allowed to complain as a child. I was always called weak for complaining. I still am now. Especially with this pregnancy. I am an empath and she is the opposite. She is big on tough love. That can be really difficult on a child and even an adult. You wouldn’t believe the things she has said to me during those 11 unsuccessful months of trying to conceive. That I need to stop complaining. My heart goes out to the women who are still struggling to conceive or who have lost their babies. You will always be mothers to me.
I know I’m all over the place, but for some reason, after everything my mom says it is SO HARD for me to not forgive her or cut her off.
She told so many of her friends about how selfish I was for not letting her in the delivery and she had one of her friends, a grown a** (drunk) woman, wave her finger in my face in public in front of people, and scream at me “how could I do this to my mother” blah blah blah. I couldn’t believe an almost 70 year old woman would think it is okay to publicly shame and scream at me for just wanting it to be my husband and I in the delivery room.
My mother has also said that I will want her at my house after baby is born because I will need her. NO.
You guys have made me feel so much better 🩷
For your healthy and happiness you need to seek therapy. If this were my mother, I would have gone No Contact a long time ago. You owe her nothing. You should not allow her around your child! If you are scared of what she will say to your child, why would you allow your child to be in the presence of such a hateful person? You need to be your child protector.
As a woman currently 35 weeks prego with 8 years of therapy for childhood trauma under her belt… please… please get support. Your child needs to see you strong and supported. Break the trauma cycle <3. I went no contact with both of my parents (at separate times) for various forms of abuse, neglect, and narcissism. My mother and I are now on much better terms now but it took her being cut out of my life completely for a while to understand that I was very serious about how I would let myself and my family be treated. If you can’t do it for you, do it for your child <3333333
This woman has no right to be part of your life. Trust me when I say nurses WILL keep her out of the delivery room.
I hope you have a strong willed husband who will back you if she tries coming over after baby is born, he can tell her to fuck off.
I am so angry on your behalf that she had her flying monkeys berate you, it's none of their business who you choose to have at your birth.
Please please please please PLEASE listen to everyone’s advice here. You should have people there that support you and make YOU feel comfortable. If she’s bad mouthing you to other people and calling you selfish, she’s the one making herself a fool. You’re a mom even if baby is baking in the oven. By her logic she’s not a grandma and shouldn’t be pushing to be there at delivery. Put her on an information diet, tell hospital who are the only people allowed in the delivery room, and keep those details to yourself. Recovering from giving birth is hard enough in many aspects, you don’t need that type of energy from her.
Seek counseling as well. Growing up with a parent that was/is like this is hard and it takes years to undo all the damage they cause. Set your boundaries now for the sake of yourself and your baby. I truly hope your husband is also able to support you in your decision bc holding your foot down on your own can be hard when dealing with people like this.
Congratulations and wishing you the best on the rest of the pregnancy and everything else!!
My mom is very similar. Learning to say NO, unapologetically, is the greatest gift you can give yourself and your baby. Don’t let her in that room and do not apologize for it. You can do it OP!
This is your baby - you get to break the curse for your daughter and be for her the mother you needed. I truly believe (as a daughter of a narc as well) I was given a girl first because I needed to help heal my inner child. My mother was cut off FOR YEARS - she was not allowed anywhere near my children until she did the work - therapy, apologized (I'm the oldest daughter but all my siblings have cut her off at different points) she had to jump through hoops and knows she has one chance and if she fucks up with my kids, makes them feel small how she did me or any comments or criticizing she's done.
It's so hard to cut off a parent but I will say it was the best thing I did for my family and if your mom wants to be included she can do the work too.
Firstly congratulations! During my pregnancy, I bought my husband a Father’s Day gift and if Mother’s Day had been during my pregnancy we would have celebrated that too.
Your mother is being awful. I’m sorry you’re going through that.
While I understand how difficult it will be, I don’t think you will regret standing your ground about delivery. You will be setting the tone for your future relationship. She needs to see now that she doesn’t call the shots. Have your L&D nurses refuse entry or better yet, don’t even tell her that you’re in labour. Will she be upset? Sure. I guarantee you’ll have far too much going on to give much of a crap. Let her go cry to her asshole friends about it.
Also not to mention that she has dismissed all my first time symptoms throughout my pregnancy. “It is too early to experience/feel that..” “It is too early to start showing..” blah blah blah. Things like that. Like— I think I would be the one to confirm if I’m feeling the baby kick or not. Thank you.
Speaking as someone who used to believe they were an empath… you are not an empath, that’s just childhood trauma and having to always anticipate your caregivers moods.
I hope you figure out how to navigate your mother and, for what it’s worth, it sounds like you are and will do a beautiful job being one yourself, once little babe is earth-side ✨
Your mom just sounds mean. Therefore I wouldn’t trust her being in the delivery room. Who knows what she will say after. I’m sorry girl, celebrate yourself! Stand your ground and create boundaries with her.
I’m 33 weeks and baby will be here for Father’s Day but not Mother’s Day so I was bummed. But now I’m thinking, I should still celebrate myself! F&ck it!
Sorry OP. Good luck!! You’re doing great :)
Go get that brunch!
My wife and I (married 1/24/24) lost our first on Christmas last year. We’ve yet to conceive again and to deny her and any woman who’s lost, or is carrying their first the right to be called a mother is horrible. Enjoy your first Mother’s Day :)
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Your mother is a dick.
Solidarity. I wasn’t “allowed” to celebrate Mother’s Day to years ago and I was two weeks away from giving birth and less than that from my due date. I don’t get the older generation’s “rules”.
Same, I also wasn't celebrated while heavily pregnant. It might have been partly cultural (where I am, people are weird about acknowledging babies before they arrive, they don't give gifts for baby before birth etc) but I still felt a bit sad.
The way it's done is very important, and OP's mother certainly is showing many problematic behaviours...
My boomer parents and other family members would never say anything like this to me. They’ve been referring to me as a mother and I’m still only 25w. IMO it’s just letting jerks like OP’s mother get off easy to attribute it to a generational difference. OP’s mother is horrible for this and every other piece of information that was given about her.
Your mother is a bitch. Full stop.
You are a mother and on behalf of your Reddit fam we encourage you to celebrate Mothers Day this year. Dont celebrate your biatch of a mother that day, celebrate yourself. And while you’re at it, tell her she’s not going to be welcome at your delivery no matter who she cries about it too. And tell your nurses, they will make sure she stays out.
I say this in the nicest way possible, it is time to grow a spine and stand up for yourself. What she is doing to you, she will do to your baby. Your baby will watch your mom wipe the floor with you, and you take it. And they’ll think that’s normal. Please take care of yourself and your future baby.
If you feel like a mother, then you are a mother, that’s it. I know women all feel differently about this (I personally did not feel like a mother when I was pregnant on Mother’s Day, but I would NEVER require another woman to feel how I felt about it and many women wished me a happy Mother’s Day, which was kind). I hope you do something to celebrate yourself and your coming baby!
FYI - Tell your doctor/delivery team that your mother is not permitted in the labor and delivery room and they will keep her out. She doesn’t get to decree that she will be there, this is your experience. You can even play dumb after (“I had no idea you were at the hospital!”) if confronting her about it is challenging. This is YOUR experience and YOUR child; she does not get to steamroll what YOU want.
Don’t argue with her about being there for the labor and birth. Just agree with everything she says, nod and smile. Then just don’t tell her when you go into labor, and just in case, let the nurses know that she is unwelcome for any visits and that she will probably try to push her way in. You deserve better than this, and so does your baby.
Celebrate anyway. Nobody sensible has an issue with it. Also, seriously, don’t have her at your birth if you don’t want her there. If you tell your care team she won’t be let in. Believe me, birth is vulnerable, you only want people there who will support you at this time. Sounds like she’ll make it all about her and drag you down. That can seriously mess with your birth, not just emotionally, but it can also derail the physiology of the process.
My church growing up always recognized pregnant women on mother's day due to beliefs around conception. No matter their gestational phase.
I love that 🥹🥹
You deserve to celebrate, your mom sounds mean
Also, I remember sitting on my therapists couch 6 months pregnant crying my eyes out. I told her I couldn’t cut my mom off because she ‘was my mom’ and she said ‘why not’ who wrote those rules. She said “if you want to live a better life and not have your child go through this, you have to get off this emotional roller coaster”
So not let her be in the delivery room. Do. Not. The last thing you need during labor is someone who will cause you stress. That is quite literally dangerous. She is banned. She doesn't get to decide.
DO NOT EVEN TELL HER WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL. Call her after the baby is here. Let her be mad, who cares? What is she going to do to you? Nothing.
Jeeeez. She sounds wonderful. Definitely don’t tell her when you’ve gone into labour and make sure the hospital knows she isn’t welcome. Celebrate whatever the fuck you want. You are amazing and you are growing your firstborn child. You deserve to be celebrated.
My mother said the same thing to me even though I was two weeks away from giving birth! It hurt, and I kept it in, but the day of people were sending me messages and wishing me a happy Mother's Day! 😊 I felt so special. And guess what? The next year, she did not wish me a happy Mother's Day because I was not her mom. 😑 They'll never be happy. So you celebrate and surround yourself with people who do respect and love you.
My mother in law said that to me last year! "Its too bad you're not a mother and can't celebrate mother's day! Guess you have to wait until next year. How lucky for my son to get fathers day!" My son was born 5 days later. I will always hold a grudge for that comment (on top of a billion other reasons)
Don’t tell her when you go into labor! and you most certainly are a mother. Imo a person becomes a mother from the time the baby is conceived.
Well, we didn't celebrate father's day and we won't celebrate mother's day because we feel it makes zero sense to do that without having our baby in our arms. So I actually agree with her assessment lol
However, that's what we chose for us. If we had decided to celebrate father/mother's day while pregnant, that would have been our decision and it wouldn't be anyone's business.
Btw, you can ask your medical team to keep your mother (or anyone else) out of the delivery room. She has no business being there if you don't want her there.
Mm idk about you but the first appointment I went to the second I got a confirmed pregnancy I was being called mom! "Congratulations mama!". So most definitely are a mother from the second you find out you're growing a baby! Your mom needs to get off her high horse. Your a mom regardless of if the baby is here yet or not. Currently 10 weeks and 5 days and my husband is already sending me mother's day plushes asking which one I want 😂😂. I'm so sorry she's being that way!
You are a mother you are literally growing your baby this you are their mom. You are their entire life line that’s amazing don’t let her deminish that
Also don’t let her walk all over you, because I promise you this entitlement will not stop at the delivery room. It’ll be her go to to step all over you when she wants something. This is your baby not hers
No offense, but your mom sounds very rude and frankly narcissistic.
You can celebrate Mother’s Day. It is your day. Also, if I were you, I would not let her in the delivery room. You are a grown woman, married with a child on the way you can make your own decisions without having to ask for permission from your mother.
It sounds like she only wants to come in to be able to say that she did it probably to her girlfriends .
YOU ARE A MOTHER
You’re mother DOES NOT have to be there. Most hospitals have this ability but if you let your hospital know they can essentially have it where if someone calls to see if you are admitted they won’t provide ANY information! So if you dont tell her, the hospital wont either! Fuck that!!
Your mom sounds like a c*nt. You don't owe her anything.
Your mom's behavior now is showing exactly why she does not belong in the delivery room. You absolutely have control over who is allowed in the room, they would remove the FATHER if you wanted, so your mother is shit out of luck.
As someone who really struggled with telling my mom no (or anything she didn't want to hear), I really feel for you. I know how it can feel like it's just easier to go along than deal with her bullshit.
But not with this. This is where you set the precedent with your mom of who is in charge when it comes to YOUR body, and YOUR baby. You're a mother now and that means sometimes you'll have to do the hard thing, in the best interest of your child. And at this point, that means telling your mom NO. And that's literally ALL you have to say. You don't need to defend or explain your decision, you don't need to CONVINCE her to see your way. It doesn't matter if she agrees or not, because the only person who has a say is YOU.
I hope you have a wonderful Mother's day, because you absolutely deserve to celebrate. Send your mom a text on the day, she doesn't deserve a call.
Respectfully your mom can F off, you are a grown adult she does not get to dictate your life. You celebrate yourself as being a mother and you start making decisions for you and your family. Not the other way around. It took me years to start putting my foot down with my mother, but it feels glorious now. Can’t believe I made myself miserable living for my mom’s approval. The older generation are some of the most emotionall unintelligent women with no boundaries and their mothers did it to them so they thinks it’s the right of passage. F that… I have to live life for myself. Block her if you have to, I did with my mom after my first, it was most peaceful time in my life. We have a better relationship now but it was rough and I don’t regret standing up for myself.
Just ask yourself, do you really want to look back at this pregnancy and your childbirth and regret these moments that were filled with your overbearing and over opinionated mom? You only get these ‘first moments’ once. Make a list of everything you would like to do AND START DOING IT. Your mom will get over it, if not who cares
OP do not let her in your L&D room. You can tell the nurses you just want your husband there. It sounds like your mom will just bring you down in a time you need support. Also, sending much love to you this coming May.. Happy Mothers Day 💜
I just want to say Mother’s Day is ABSOLUTELY for expectant mothers as much as anyone else. Also your mother is a B!tch. I don’t normally say that lightly but this reminds me so much of my Mother and MIL neither of whom are in our lives anymore for various toxic people reasons. my guess would be she doesn’t want you celebrating as a mother because she thinks it lessens how special she is on Mother’s Day or something. It sounds like you’re more deserving of celebration than she is anyway. When my husband and I got engaged (I was only 20) my MIL told me she couldn’t wait to watch her grandchild come into the world and I told her she wouldn’t be there and she threw an absolute hissyfit. Now 9 years later I finally got my first positive pregnancy test this morning. I will ABSOLUTELY be celebrating Mother’s Day next month. Also your delivery is your experience and no one else’s just don’t let her in. If it’s hard to value yourself enough to have those boundaries for yourself, consider that you are about to model for your future child what it means to stand up for yourself and meet your needs. No time like the present to set boundaries. Enjoy your Mother’s Day!!
She sounds toxic AF. You are a mother, if that is how you feel. Don't let her in the delivery room. Just let your birthing team know. You don't even have to let her see you guys when they transfer you to postpartum. He'll, I wouldn't let her visit at home until she apologizes to you. Let her throw a fit.
Yeah no. Your mom can go kick rocks with open toed shoes. She doesn’t get to make demands about YOUR birth. Period. Also, f*ck her for making her own child feel like this. If my mom ever talked to me this way, we would be no contact. I’m so sorry she’s being this way to you.
I’m sorry but why would you allow this woman in your life? She sounds insufferable. I promise your pregnancy would be a lot easier if she wasn’t a part of it. Also she quite literally cannot be there if you don’t want her to be. I would let the doctors and nurses know that under no circumstance if she allowed anywhere near you. She’s the biggest AH and she only talks crap about you to make herself seem like the angel. With my abusive ex trying to smear my name I’ve accepted that if people are willing to believe him, they’re just as miserable as him. Luckily we don’t know any of the same people so whoever he’s telling about me, idgaf about 😂
lol WHUT
If my childless friend wanted to celebrate Mother’s Day as an excellent and devoted dog mom, I’d support it. I’d get her a card even. Lots of women aren’t biological mothers and still deserve to celebrate. Certainly if you’re growing a human you deserve to be included in this holiday.
Your mom is being ridiculous and selfish.
My mom basically said the same thing to me, except completely unprompted, when I called to wish her a happy mother's day when I was pregnant. My favorite aunt, on the other hand, sent me the sweetest, most thoughtful card wishing me a happy mother's day. And my mom can't understand why I don't like spending time with her
So… yes you are a mother.
Also… do not under any circumstances let her into that delivery room. She will not change, she will not be nice just because it’s your day. She will make labor harder and stressful. Give yourself the peace and do not let her in. Don’t even tell her until it’s the big day. When it comes time you can say “it will be just me and baby’s father in the delivery room.” She’ll probably be mad and then get over it.
Who needs enemies with a mother like that? I hope you can cut her out of your life one day. She’s a horrible person.
Nope, she is wrong and that is a very hurtful thing to say. I’m so sorry, I would be enraged.
Do not let that woman into your delivery room. It is your choice, not hers and the nurses will 100% back you on your decisions and not let her in. I wouldn’t even tell her when you were in labor.
Of course you’re a mother! You’re going through all of the labor to care for and create a little one, and honestly this is in a lot of ways the most important and selfless part. You’re sacrificing so much of your body and mind for this baby already. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise!
If your mom is acting this way now I can tell you first hand do not allow her in the delivery room. Let her throw a tantrum and talk crap all she wants. I let my mom in the room for my first because I was very young and single and scared and she has had a toxic bond with my first and acts like she barely cares about my second.
Congratulations and do not tell her when you’re going into labor , say you were too preoccupied… she does not deserve to be in the room with the way she’s acting ,like I get what she’s saying cuz your first Mother’s Day will actually be once your LO is here but it doesn’t mean u don’t get to celebrate the win of being pregnant and carrying successfully
I don’t know. My husband said the same thing to me before my daughter was born. I was 39 weeks and 5 days pregnant (with the worst pregnancy I’ve had so far) and this man says to me that he doesn’t have to get me a present because I “haven’t done anything yet”.
He’s lucky I was too tired to be pissed about it. Thankfully he later acknowledged that it was a dick thing to say.
You celebrate your first Mother’s Day and don’t let anyone bring you down!
You are a mother celebrate mothers day!!! Tell the hospital you do not want her in there she had no choice you do!!!!
I am just going to be starting 2nd trimester when Mother's Day happens, and I am probably going to celebrate. I got my wife a mother's day card last year (for the dogs and cat because I thought it was funny after a coworker suggested it). Your mom can have a problem with me instead.
I don't really have a comment for the whole mothers day thing, other than a lot of people feel that way BUT you celebrate getting pregnant after a long journey how you feel you should!! As for your mom overstepping, you should absolutely not tell her when you go into labor. You should quietly go to the hospital and have the baby with your husband the way you want your labor to be. Your mom sounds jealous. Almost like she wants to relive birth through you or something. To he honest, I don't think I would even allow her at the hospital, and my husband definitely wouldn't either.
Also I'd just tell my mom that they only allow the spouse while baby is being born and then blame it on the pandemic. Works every time, even now.
I sent my sister a gift for her first Mother’s Day while she was pregnant. I def think you should celebrate, you are already a mama! Also, just don't tell your mom when you go into labor. She doesn't get to demand to be in the delivery room with you, that requires your consent. The hospital wouldn't even let her in without your approval.
OK I kind of agree with your Mom. I don't think she meant it in a bad way, this is just her opinion. It is up to you if you already consider yourself a mom. My husband didn't want to gift me anything for a few years on Mother's day saying that I am not his mom. He thought it was funny. We just come from a different culture where this day is not as widely celebrated. I love my mom and we have a great relationship but she has opinion on everything related to parenting and just says whatever she thinks I have to do or what I am doing wrong, in her opinion. I continue fighting for my right to make my own decisions and opinions, it is frustrating at times, but I also know that she loves me and her grandchild which is the most important thing for me.
She can demand that she be in the delivery room all you want. Doesn’t mean you have to say yes.
I absolutely hate comments like this. Mother’s Day 2021 I was almost 5 months pregnant. We went to breakfast with my MIL and she made some comment like “won’t this be so fun next year when you’re a real mom too?” I hated that comment. Four months later I lost that baby. Her words echoed over and over in my head. I struggled with wondering if I was really a mom or not.
Screw people that say such insensitive garbage. You’re a mom because already your primary concern is taking care of your baby.
I have 18 years old since February and I can say your mother is a bich. She doesn't care about you or your baby.
If you are pregnant, you can celebrate Mother's Day. When a baby dies without leaving the mother's womb in the medical papers it is stated that the woman is a mother who has lost her baby, so why can't you consider yourself a mother when in your belly you are taking care of the life of your baby in development?
And you are the one who decides who should be present during the birth of the baby.
English is not my first language, sorry if there are any spelling mistakes
I am crying as I read this. I am celebrating this Mother's Day and I'm not due until November. You're a mother. Celebrate with me! You're a mother. If your mother keeps this talk and attitude up I would go no or low contact. You don't need that kind of crap around you.
Also if you don't want her in the delivery room, don't have her. She doesn't get more rights than you. Tell the doctors and nurses who you want in the room and who you do not. I want to write up a birth plan so I don't miss anything and there's some great templates online!
This is all you momma. What ever you want or do not want, they will listen.
I truly hope that you can hold firm to your boundary and endure the guilt and don’t allow her in. Just don’t tell her until the baby arrives. That’s crazy to me that she is being so toxic and awful to you right now. You are a mother. I bet they call you mom at your appts and call your husband dad. Don’t let her ruin your motherhood journey that YOU ARE ALREADY ON! The family you are making is now your priority.
Tbf I think celebrating Mother’s Day before the baby is born is a bit too much / potentially jinxing yourself but I think it should be your choice. If that’s something you and your partner wants to do then I say totally go for it.
Either way you need to ditch your mother. What is she even bringing into your life apart from stress and guilt?
Also how do people on reddit always have friends/other family randomly attack them about things? I’m sure my mother would have complained to her friends/other relatives about me but have never had a single person call me or feel the need to confront me about anything.
Forgive my vulgarity here, but you can celebrate whatever the fuck you want. Not sure when your mom became the dictator of holidays, but where I’m from, if I want to celebrate Father’s Day (as a mom), I will go right ahead. You get to decide when you’re a mother. I celebrated when I was pregnant cause I wanted to.
Have the hospital labor and delivery staff keep her out of your room. Tell them you do not want her in there, only your husband, because she upsets you. Happy and healthy rest of your pregnancy’
Boomer bitch mom’s gonna boom!! Do what you want and don’t give her judgement a second thought. You’re a mom now and you can learn how NOT to be to your kid by learning from her. Happy early Mother’s Day. You deserve it!
Your mom sucks and you can, in fact, make a choice to make sure she is not allowed in the delivery room. Tell hospital staff that she is not allowed and they will not let her be there.
Celebrate Mother’s Day and don’t acknowledge her on that day.
I'm so sorry you're going through this ❤️ Her statement is completely false, and you are absolutely a mother. Pregnancy is beautiful and exciting, but it is also isolating, lonely, exhausting and more. You've already done so much for your little one and they're so lucky to have you, mama!
I personally didn’t celebrate it when I was pregnant with my first because I was very very concerned about jinxing it, by the time my daughter was baking I already had my son but gave my husband strict instructions to not sign anything off as from the baby (paranoid I know 😂), I think it’s up to the individual. Theres nothing wrong with a pregnant woman celebrating and nothing wrong with her not celebrating, your mother sounds manipulative, jealous and selfish.
Do not let her in the delivery room. Absolutely not.
You are a mother
Technically, you are not a mother yet, but you are a mother to be , so celebrate until the cows come home, enjoy the day, don’t tell her when you go to the hospital , most places are not allowing extra people in the delivery and waiting rooms
I vividly remember a woman saying this to me 20 years ago when I was pregnant with my first baby. She was insistent that I wasn’t a mum until he was born. I was quite gobby at 22 so I argued back and caused a bit of a scene- I wouldn’t do that these days but it felt important at the time!
I was quite upset at the time so I completely understand how you feel. However, it’s up to you to decide if and how you celebrate and your mum needs to mind her own business.
WHAT!?! Hahaha. Your mother sounds like she was in a mood. I think if your pregnant and want to celebrate mother's day, go for it. Your going to be a mother! You'd think she would've been happy and you guys go to a steak house or gone out and done something fun like go get some yarn and learn home to knit/crochet a baby blanket. She's being foolish. Don't cry about it. Sometimes people are just nasty because it's not all about them.
Honestly how does one actually “celebrate” or “not celebrate” Mother’s Day. Heck several years ago my ex made me a Mother’s Day card and we had 2 dogs. I mean I don’t think it’s really that deep for her to say you can’t “celebrate”. But granted Mothers Day and Fathers Day was never truly that huge in my family growing up. We may go out to eat or something, small gift. Maybe the coupons children make in elementary school. So if you want to celebrate. Celebrate away.
She’d not be invited to my delivery. “Oops sorry, I was in the middle of becoming a mother and it wasn’t my priority to be making phone calls.”
Honestly start setting your boundaries now. This behavior is only going to multiply once baby is here. This is your body and your baby and what you need/want is the only concern. Draw your lines now and stick to em like glue.
This is the only Mother’s Day you don’t have to find a babysitter. Also YOU ARE GROWING A WHOLE ASS HUMAN INSIDE YOUR BODY.
This mom of 2 says your egg donor can shut her ass.
ETA: fun fact - labor and delivery nurses are tough as fuck and YOU only YOU will be the patient. No one gives a good goddamed what anyone wants but you. Security will be at their fingertips to keep away any unwanted lurkers.
You are already making decisions for your baby. You are a mother.
We have the same due date!!!
She can fuck off, I wish happy mothers day to all my pregnant friends and sisters, dog moms, cat moms, plant moms, etc.
Aww I’m so sorry this was said to you. Your mother could not be more wrong! The second we get pregnant we become mothers!!!
I am part of the RAoC subreddit and I had asked for “welcome baby” cards for a scrapbook I wanted to start creating; and one of the cards that stuck out the most was a Mothers Day card someone sent me saying that I deserved this card the minute I found out I was becoming a mother. I just wanted to share this, the same applies for you and anyone expecting!
I’m so happy to hear you will be celebrating Mother’s Day + your husband a Father’s Day. Congratulations to you both 🧡
Your mother is a giant B. If you want to celebrate mother's day this year, do it! And don't celebrate your mother this year 🤭, she doesn't deserve it.
Don't want her in the room for delivery? 1)don't tell her you're in labour. 2)tell the nurses nobody but husband is allowed in the room.
She sounds delightful…celebrate however the fuck you want. I wouldn’t go out of my way to share my feelings or important milestones with someone like her. Protect your peace and let her be miserable on her own. Edit: just realized she’s demanding to be in the delivery room. Nope, be very clear that’s not happening and don’t tell her when you’re in labor or until you even want visitors. I wouldn’t even tell her the hospital.
So cruel.
if you feel like a mother already, than you are!! not everyone wants to celebrate while pregnant and that’s okay too, but you are already loving this baby, making good decisions for this baby, keeping them safe, nourished & loved, just like a mom does. i hope you have a wonderful mother’s day
also please do not let your mother in the delivery room if that’s not what you want. you & your husband only get this experience once, she had hers already - tell her that and then tell the nurses as they simply won’t let her in.
Of course you're a mother and will celebrate Mother's day! and she can't be there with you during birth just because she wants to. It's your choice. Don't let your mother take away your happiness.
Don't tell her when you're going into labour. Or simply tell the nurses she is not allowed in the room. They will take her away.
We have already established your mom is a twat and that YOU should celebrate however you see fit.
BUT… remember this… HOW YOU GO IN IS HOW YOU GO OUT. It starts with demanding to be present for a birth that you do not want. And from there it becomes about control with what you do/dont do with your baby, where they go to preschool, etc etc. YOU are the matriarch of YOUR family. Time to bitch up, babe. Boundaries are so hard to establish in a relationship for the first time, but they are SO important.
Once you have calmed down, I would tell your mom the following (also if you feel safer TEXTING this you can - no need for a phone call - you do what feels right to you):
1) when you want her opinion, you will ask for it. If you don’t ask, she should keep it to herself. If she can’t abide by that request, you will limit contact with her. 2) making unhealthy comparisons about how easy her pregnancies were in comparison to yours is unnecessary and hurtful. If she can’t refrain from doing so, you will limit contact with her. 3) birth is not a spectator sport. She will not be in the delivery room. This is nonnegotiable. If she insists on broaching the subject again or creating unnecessary drama around you and your husband‘s decision, you will limit contact with her. Also inform her that you have been made aware that you can specifically let the hospital know that no one, but your husband is allowed to be there, and they will enforce that. 4) if she intends to have a relationship with your child, she needs to learn how to respect you as a mother. If she can’t do that, she will have no contact with your child.
I think the issue in your relationship is so much more deep than this mean spirited Mother’s Day comment but it definitely shined a light on issues that you should confront and address before your baby is here.
Your mom sounds like a controlling bitch. Do what makes YOU and your partner happy/comfortable. And HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! You are 100% a mom!!
Please do nothing for this woman for Mother’s Day!
you are a mother you are literally caring for your baby as you care for yourself like is that not the most we can do as pregnant people !?!? f her it’s your day too and i know other people will wish you a happy mother’s day when the time comes even if baby isn’t here yet :) also she doesn’t need to be in the delivery room if she feels entitled to it! she had her chance to dictate who she wants in the room when she had her kids, now it’s your turn. don’t even tell her when you’re going into labor to save yourself the stress
wee woo wee woo its the mother's day police
jk that doesn't exist!! Happy mothers day to all pregnant FTMs! <3
that is seriously so cruel. CELEBRATE!!
I celebrated mothers day last year when i was like 8 wks pregnant. you are absolutely a mother when pregnant. you are growing a child and caring for it with your body and mind.
I’m so sorry that happened. My boss kind of said the same thing. Said she was the only mother at our job and is wanting Mother’s Day off, and that I won’t be a mom until the baby is born. We have a hard time finding workers on Sundays but my husband wanted to celebrate Mother’s Day with me and I told her that. Probably gonna work all day on Mother’s Day.
Sounds like your mother is jealous and a mean toxic control freak. Keep her at bay because she's causing you more stress than peace.
I also suggest you tap into your spine to access your assertive nature and put her in her damn place, or she's always going to take these moments to make you feel less than. Her behavior is unacceptable!
Once someone shows you who they are, they're revealing their nature. Trust them and you can expect them to always be like this. This is information for you to use in order to execute what you need to in order to maintain your peace. You can also use this info to see her predictability in order to be 10 steps ahead of her.
My mom told me the same. I wasn’t due until 3 weeks after Mother’s Day 2022. To me, I was a mother the second I got a positive pregnancy test. Not everyone sees it that way, but that’s fine.
Nope, nope, nope. Even if your Mum is the dream caring, best friend, there for you type, there is no way she has done even a fraction of what you have for your child this year. Ignore her, she’s being thoughtless.
If you consider yourself a mother, you're a mother. Other people don't get to decide that for you. I won't be a mother until I give birth but that's about me, not some sort of universal rule! Your mom is a jerk.
I’m curious why you even speak to your mother still…she sounds like a real a**hole for saying you’re not a mother yet because you are!
I wouldn’t invite her to the birth of your child and I’d make sure to say to her that “everyone wants to be so f*cking inclusive.” Lol
We’re two days apart! I’m 22w 6d right now!
My baby shower is actually going to be the day before Mother’s Day. I feel a little weird about it. But we’ll be 28 weeks and counting! That’s far enough along for a baby to survive (in the nicu) without us.
We’re mothers, and there’s no reason or circumstance that you should let your mother speak to you in that fashion.
If she feels comfortable enough to talk to you in such an insensitive and immature way, think about how comfortable she’ll be speaking to your child that way.
I agree with everything the comments say. Your mom sounds like she will barrage over your boundaries once the baby is here, and do things to the baby that you don't want her to do. Such as feed her unhealthy things, take her outside when the baby isn't vaccinated, tell the baby to call her Momma... and if you'll need help she'll just want to hold the baby rather than actually cook or clean.
I'm sorry if I'm assuming, but I've seen many moms of this type who disrespect and demean the mother and act all high and mighty do these types of things. I hope yours isn't the case but you definitely don't need this stress from her rudeness and sheer entitlement when you're in a delicate phase of your life, and also when you're bonding with your newborn.
I wish you lots of love, health, an easy quick delivery and precious moments with your daughter and I hope you get all this without your mom breathing down your neck and criticizing you.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! You become a mom when the preganacy is confirmed because your basic ly taking care of the baby when he/she is still developing up to the delivery date then the responsibility of motherhood comes into play. So you have every right to celebrate mothers day this year.
I had issues with my mother not to that extant early in my pregancy and only this year did we patch things up. Do what's best for you and the baby and if that's celebrating mother's day then go for it.
For me when a women gets preganant they should be considered a mother because when it comes to it they need to make sure everything is alright in order to carry full term and deliver the baby and that's part of motherhood, it's more emotional when the baby is in the womb and when the baby is out its more of a physical thing because you have to teach and correct the child if the child did something wrong and that's not easy.
Your “mother” is an awful human. You are a mother and I hope you celebrate Mother’s Day & have an amazing day☺️
You shouldn’t let her be in the delivery room because she will stress you out and ruin that experience for you & your husband. I’m a chronic people pleaser but since getting pregnant I’ve been more assertive. I told my mom she wasn’t going to be in the delivery room or the waiting room. If she wanted she could be at home or she wouldn’t meet the baby until I felt like it. Start setting boundaries and demand respect! You are a mother and that’s your child, no one gets to tell you what to do.
I am so sorry you're going through that. If I were you, I'd go low or light contact with mom. My mom is not happy that she is not invited to delivery but she respects it and won't show up. You can also pre register with the hospital and specify that you don't want visitors, let her show up and throw a fit.
I think it's important to set boundaries now because it's only going to get worse when baby is here.
We have made decisions with our son (due in a few days) like not baptizing or circumcision and I know my mom doesn't like it but she'll get over it or she won't see her grandson 🤷♀️
Happy early Mother's Day! I hope you enjoy yourself 🥰
I felt the same way when I was first pregnant during Mother’s Day. They just do not get it, but you have already put in so much work and so much love! I’m sorry that happened but she is wrong. I’ll be thinking of you this year! Congratulations on getting here, babe
I would not celebrate your mom on Mother’s Day. She sounds awful. I hate to say this but this could be a sign that she will give unsolicited and unhelpful advice about parenting as well. Protect your peace and set boundaries now. I hope you have a wonderful first Mother’s Day and feel celebrated, you deserve it.
You are a mother!!! Tell your birth team and your partner that you don’t want her in the room and leave it to them to enforce that. You have enough going on and should be relaxing as much as possible! Happy early Mother’s Day ❤️
What a c u next Tuesday thing to say
Your mother sounds like a narcissist. She’s wrong btw, a woman becomes a mother when she becomes pregnant with her child. Those maternal instincts already start kicking in and your body is literally caring for your baby and keeping your baby safe and alive. That is motherhood. Please do not allow her to rob you of this joy.
Ofc you are a mom!!! You’ve seen your baby, you feel your baby… your baby hears and feels you etc! From the start you’ve been watching what you eat for your baby, resting for/with your baby - essentially taking care of your baby just like you will when it comes ♥️ wish I could gift you one of those “best mom” mugs !! You should get one for Mother’s Day ♥️
Your mom is not normal and not respectful of you, I’d really think about what to do about (ending or redefining) your relationship while celebrating your first Mother’s Day in May :)
NO NO NO NO! You are in fact my dear, a mother. She sounds like my aunt. Women their generation are just haters I swear. My aunt told me she worked throughout her whole pregnancy, and it’s like no shit you lived in a 3rd world country!!!!!! Also if you don’t want her in the delivery room you can tell the nurses YOU DONT WANT HER THERE! They will make sure she isn’t, trust! You just ignore her. Ugh you have no idea how much I feel for you. I wanted to scream and cuss out my aunt and cousin for just always commenting negative crap that I wasn’t asking for in the first place! Don’t worry you got this!!
You’re a mother by all accounts. Your body is doing all the things to nurture and support the baby inside of you. You’re actively caring for your child by ensuring you stay hydrated, eat, go to your check ups, etc. Celebrate, you deserve it.
I had my baby on Mother’s Day but rest assured, I was told I wasn’t a mother yet before he was born that night! People are the worst.
My husband said the same thing and I shut that down immediately. You are absolutely without a doubt a mom! No questions asked <3
So many great comments saying all the right things. I'm just here to echo them saying you absolutely are a mother, and she can hit the road. This is your time, she had hers. Do whatever you need to be comfortable. If I were in your position I would go no contact with that level of crazy!
Your mom sounds like a b*tch. Yes, you are a mother. Please celebrate!
And PLEASE do not let her in the delivery room.
Don’t let her bully you. She should not be there. Let the hospital staff know. Birthing is not a spectator sport.
Give her name to the ladies in the maternity ward and they’ll put her on the do not enter list. Also if she calls the hospital they can’t give her information. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Start using those boundaries now bc it will only get harder when your baby does come. Also, happy early Mother’s Day!
Ugh I’m so sorry. She sounds insanely controlling and she doesn’t get to overstep your boundaries. If anything, she will cause you to likely have a difficult, traumatizing, and longer stressful labor bc of her presence. Labor is a lot more smooth when you have those good hormones not stress ones coursing through you!! And this is such a magical time, protect that space and welcome your baby into a blissful bubble! Your mom sounds like a big freaking cloud that would be over your heads in that delivery room. Celebrate being a mother girl cause you are one.
Someone at work called me ‘half a mother’, and they’re a deeply religious person. I asked if they believed if the baby was a living being and indeed a baby and she said yes. Well, what baby doesn’t have a mother 🙃
Tell her to eff off. Celebrate Mother’s Day how you want
I consider someone a mother the second after a positive pregnancy test, same with fathers. Enjoy your first Mother’s Day ❤️ as for who can be in the room when you give birth - if you do not want her to, tell the hospital to not let her in no matter what while you’re giving birth and they won’t.
I didn't realize that the Council of Mothers gave her permission to make such a ruling. I missed the meeting last month. I'll make a motion at the upcoming meeting next month to include pregnant people for mothers day. I've birthed 2 children so I get 2 votes.
Also, your mother sounds ridiculous, rude, and entitled. Happy mother's day OP. You deserve to celebrate it and to be celebrated.
What a load of BS! I remember people telling me that my pregnant Mother’s Day was my first. Also I don’t know why so many moms, especially your own mom, have to compare your pregnancy to theirs and make you feel weird if they are not the same.
Please please do not let your mother in the room when you give birth if you don’t want her there. Please god. Tell staff. Tell your husband. I’m sorry, but kindly and disrespectfully fuck her feelings. The same way she is currently disrespecting you. That’s toxic, entitled, narcissistic behavior you don’t need around when giving birth or honestly around her “grandchild”. Celebrate this Mother’s Day. You deserve it. Celebrating Father’s Day. He deserves it. It is so unbelievably tone deaf of this woman to claim a baby has to be outside of the womb to be considered a mother. It negates the experiences of so many women who have miscarried. You’re a mom. Your husband is a dad. Celebrate that
Both of you will ABSOLUTELY celebrate Mother’s and Father’s Day! And you should spoil yourselves, doing something for the two of you before your baby comes! Your mom sounds like the ultimate narcissist. Keep your boundaries, no matter what she says about you. And quite frankly, if I were you, I would make it clear that if she doesn’t respect you, then she doesn’t get to see/spend time with you and your baby. You are an adult and even though she is your mother, she doesn’t have the right to disrespect you.
What the actual fuck? I’m sorry for my language, but this infuriates me. You absolutely are a mother and deserve to celebrate whatever or however you want!
Tell your mother if she continues to talk that way you’ll disown her and she won’t be able to celebrate it either LOL
Enjoy being a mother, congratulations 🩷😭
I am 14 weeks pregnant and I will definitely be celebrating my first mother's Day this way! I've been through so much to have this baby. My baby is with me all the time and I am her mother.
Well...baby decided to come whenever and there was no time. She is toxic. I'm almost 22 weeks and told my bf the other day, it's his first father's day. Sort of. You do what you want. Maybe cut contact for a while for your own mental health. She makes you stress and stress isn't good for you or the baby.
You cannot let this woman in your delivery room, find a way to back pedal this asap. She will make you feel like absolute shit in there and no one should have to experience that at such a powerful and vulnerable time
If I were you I wouldn’t celebrate her this Mother’s Day, celebrate yourself! You ARE a mother!
I am pregnant now but I go off on people when they tell me I’m not a mom and I’m just a dog mom. I can’t imagine what I’d do or say if my own mom said that to me!!
How ridiculous! Celebrate Mothers Day, of course! And leave her out of the delivery room. You don't need that energy in there.
She sounds like a piece of work.
You're MIL sounds incredibly selfish. Like, she's not getting to be the center of attention so she's looking for reasons you can't be either.
I'm 24 weeks and literally everyone at work either calls me "Mama," (which I hate) or "little Mama." I would give very strict instructions to the hospital staff that she's absolutely not allowed in the room for any reason
Don't let your mother be there for delivery. It is NOT her choice it's yours. Is she really the type of person you want around if things don't go according to plan? Last thing you need is someone belittling you. The hospital staff will keep her out for you just fyi and its okay to "forget" to tell her when labor starts.
As for celebrating mothers day, you do you! There are no rules about who can celebrate a holiday.
Please keep going into labor a secret and put your phones on do not disturb. Nobody is entitled to be there if you don't want them to be. She clearly just doesn't remember how stressful pregnancy can be because she's all old and dried up now. She's got no right invalidating you so much and then shaming you into changing your plans.
Even if she throws a little tantrum, what's she going to do? Complain to people? Okay. Are they having your baby? Why do you care if they care?
They probably don't, its just easier not to invalidate a crazy ranting lady while she's throwing a fit. You say anything to pacify dramatic people because it's easier than telling them that they're wrong.
Gently, grow a back bone and stand up for yourself.
I’m so sorry she said that to you and how she handled it. My first Mother’s Day that I celebrated was when my son was outside the womb and I’m sure your mom celebrated that way as well.
I only know one person who celebrated it before birth.
You are a mother - to - be in the eyes of society, and the “intended mother” as well . Yes you can use the label “mom” now but I wouldn’t expect everyone will understand
Man forget her, you want to call yourself a mom who cares
A girl I went to high school with lost her baby on its due date - some terrible mishap. What a shitty opinion your mom has. I think of people like that girl - how could she think that woman is not a mother? Disgusting tbh
I'm so sorry you have to deal with it. She sounds a lot like my narc mother who I went no contact with 5,5 years ago, which was best decision of my life. You are absolutely entitled to enforce any boundaries you are comfortable with (no contact is a tough choice and I wouldn't preach it to everyone. However some people are so toxic they leave no other choice)
My sister said the same thing when I was pregnant with my first. She had kids of her own as well so idk what was up her Crack. I mean, don't know who this baby belongs to if I'm not its mother. The way I see it, it might be her way of saying her responsibilities as a mom is more superior than yours because she's been through it already and raising walking kids. It's still a shitty view but that's how I see it. Kind of like when some parents throw a pity card or say their kids are much worse/better than yours because of XYZ. Don't feel bad. Some people are just shitty unless it directly affects them.
Don’t cry. It’s not your fault she’s a tw*t ♥️
Omg your mom sounds so sad! Ugh I’m so sorry! First of all yes I already consider you a mother. I wouldn’t let her comment ruin your day. I would do something special on that day for just you and your hubby or just do a little self care that day. She sounds very bitter, jealous and wants to be the center of attention.
For the labor part you can actually tell the nursing staff no visitors and they will make sure no one besides you and your husband are in there. Oh definitely put your phone on airplane mode while you are in labor. I’m going to do it because I just won’t be able to deal with people during that time. You can always just say the hospital staff doesn’t allow anyone besides the husband in the room due to Covid restrictions.
Another thing you can do is not tell her when you are having the baby like just don’t text her until after but she might hold a bigger grudge doing it that way.
Hello! And Welcome to being a mom.
You are now part of a club where everyone feels the need to give you advice you didn't ask for, gaslight you on your struggles, and not mind their own fkn business. Oh and did I mention that most of these people are other moms? It's great.
But seriously, it wasn't until my second kid that I became confident enough to stand up for myself when people had their dumb opinions or comments. I hope that you can move past your mom's ignorance because it's not doing your mental health any favors. It might be best to distance yourself from her if she keeps it up.
Sending good vibes mama!
Cut her out of your life, she is only bringing stress
A close friend of mine had a stillbirth and it really put things into perspective for me, I feel very strongly that pregnant women are mothers. I lightly mentioned my husband buying me a mother's day gift at a family dinner and my parents very seriously said no, that's bad luck. I got way more upset than I expected I would but I held my ground. I'll be 35 weeks on mother's day, I absolutely expect a gift for MONTHS of cooking this little muffin!!!!!
If this was my mom she could f all the way off and not be in my child’s life, but I understand it’s a complex situation for everyone. Protect yourself and your child from your mother. You’re your child’s biggest advocate so make sure you can stand up to her for yourself because you’re gonna have to make so many tough decisions when she crosses boundaries with your child. (It’s not a if, it’s a WHEN) because she’s not even respecting your boundaries. Don’t be afraid to let your mama bear out because being in your child’s life is a privilege not a right, no matter who you are. Good luck op and enjoy your first Mother’s Day 🩷
Wow she sounds insecure about it
This happened to me. I was told that I could only count myself as a "cat mom" since I had cats, but I wasn't a real mom while I was pregnant.
Your mum can fuck right off into the sun. I'll be 21 weeks on mothers day and you can bet your sweet bippy I'll be celebrating! Also, nursing staff are awesome security guards - mother dearest won't have a chance in hell of being in the room if you tell them she's not welcome. Plus, don't tell her when you go into labour.
Happy Mother’s Day to you. Congrats on being a mom. It’s an amazing journey you have just begun. Enjoy it.
Ignore any other bullshit in the world.
Screw that. You celebrate. You’re very much a mother. Your mom can keep her awful opinions to herself
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's so unfair. My mother went all out for my first mother's day pregnant. "Baking" your baby is really fucking hard and you're absolutely a mother already. Please celebrate!!
Your mom is a dickhead. Sorry she is. You are a momma ! Congrats girl! Happy Mother’s Day
I'm so sorry you're going through this! Of course you're a mother and you should celebrate accordingly!!! Also, if she didn't help make the baby she has no right to be in the room, it's your child, not hers!
Tell your Mother that she is a Mother F udger from me. Ask your mother if HER mother had any kids that lived?
I’m pregnant with my first as well (27 weeks). I don’t see what’s wrong with celebrating becoming a mother. You are a mom to be, and that’s worth celebrating if you choose!
My husband gets me gifts from our cats for Mother’s Day! Not going to say I expect him to get something from our unborn daughter, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he does.
Your mom just sounds like a miserable person (much like mine, which is why I don’t talk to her).
First you are absolutely welcome to celebrate however you want and for her to invalidate that is disgusting. Also you are 100% able to keep her out of the room. Don’t tell her you’re in labor and tell the hospital staff you don’t want visitors during that time! I’m so sorry she’s being so horrible to you! Happy (early) 1st Mother’s Day!!
If I have to listen to everyone only calling me, “Mama,” now…then I’m a mother.
People celebrate dads on mother’s day why can’t a pregnant mom to be celebrate?
The moment the stick turned pink, you became a mother. Regardless of what anyone else says or thinks. Seems like your mom is jealous you’re in your fertile prime.
She can have her opinion but it’s wrong. YOU ARE a mother. Taking care of yourself and a growing baby is mothering. Planning for their arrival is mothering. Anyone who’s lost a pregnancy is still a mother, unless they don’t want to be considered one.
Absolutely celebrate! Pretty much everyone else in the world will celebrate Mother’s Day with you when you’re pregnant.
My mom cut me off because I asked her to stop feeding my 6 year old junk food. Sometimes it’s for the best tbh.
If you don't want her in there tell the nurse and they will remove her by force if you want. If you blacklist her before hand she won't even make it past the front desk. No one has a legal right to demand to be there at your delivery, not even your husband if you didn't want.
Also as far as mothers day and when someone becomes a mother, I'm of the opinion that it depends on the person. If you consider yourself a mother as soon as you are pregnant then you get to celebrate mother's day. If you're the type to wait till your first kid is born to consider yourself a mother then don't celebrate. But no one gets to tell you wether you celebrate it or not. I didn't celebrate last year cuz I had already had multiple miscarriages and I was early enough along it wasn't a sure thing yet and I didn't feel like a mother yet. But this year I have my 4 month old rainbow baby and I feel like a mom officially now, so we'll be celebrating this year.
I would not have your mom in the delivery room if I were you. Don’t tell her when you go into labor and let her deal with her selfishness after the fact. You do not want someone who is not already 100% supportive of you in that room. It will just add increased stress, which is exactly what you don’t need. I was so glad I only had my husband and the needed medical personnel in the room with me and that’s it. She does not sound supportive of you and your needs and those are the only people who should be around you when you give birth.
Wow. That’s so mean of your mom, the irony of her statement is just fucking insane. I’m really sorry you’re made to feel this way.
You’re right- you are a mom. You deserve to be celebrated. Do whatever you wish and please don’t listen to that “mother” of yours. Women who lose kids are moms, women are motherly to others kids are also moms. Your mom clearly doesn’t know what a mom is :)
Your mother is not being particularly motherly herself. Maybe tell her she isn't a mother until she learns to support her children, not just berate and bully?
Don't tell her when you go into labor. Tell the nurses nobody but your husband is allowed in. She doesn't get to bully and harass her way in. You do not need that kind of stress.
Also, if she isn't recognizing you as a mother, then she isn't a grandmother so she can just butt the fuck out.
I will not have my baby outside my body this mother's day, and maybe it won't be a "I expect others to celebrate me" day this time around, but I'm sure as hell gonna treat myself! Prenatal massage, maybe a mani/pedi.
Nah bro your mom sounds like a dick
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