Am I being the asshole?

1/2

Just wondering if I’m being the asshole, or she is!?

For context, she is someone who I’ve house sat before, she has 3 dogs, 1 is older and needs medicine. She also has a cat that requires care involving litter tray. She is a private client so not through Rover, however thought this would be the best place for advice. (I’m in the UK)

I also walk her dogs once a week.

The client has sometimes been ‘off’ with me, and fairly snappy. One time was because my car broke down, I still arrived as I got lift in my partners car however she was very rude when I didn’t want the dogs in my partners car. We do live in a great area with loads of walking routes so I really didn’t see it as a problem.

Fast forward to this week, I house sat for her for 3 days. When I arrived there was dog poop everywhere in the garden (I remember thinking to take a picture, really wish I did!) but I just assumed she wouldn’t expect me to clear the previous mess.

I did the stay, and walked the dogs twice a day meaning they only really went to the bathroom in the garden first thing and late at night before bed. I picked up a reasonable amount of dog poo.

Regarding the bins, she simply has not messaged me about the bins. I have no issues with popping bins out however usually a note is left stating when is bin day. As this stay was mid week, I simply thought bin day was at the start of the week. (I take all my own rubbish home so don’t use clients bins)

Regarding the gate being open, I never use the gate she’s mentioned. The gardener was there for 8 hours on 1 day so would’ve left it open and I just didn’t look as it wasn’t in view. The gate leads to another section of the garden so fully secure anyway for the dogs and they are allowed in there . Not blaming the gardener at all, I doubt he realised it would be a problem!

I know my rates are cheap; and this is a learning curve. At the time of posting, the invoice for the stay has not been paid yet.

Any advice really welcome,

Thanks! X

in petsittingby PuddingandPeaches

96%

1mo

cannycandelabra

1mo

Not at all. Client is a nitpicking jerk.

Royals-2015

1mo

NTA. Your response was professional. Time for everyone to move on.

ExpressKey4365

1mo

Also i just converted that omg $45 bucks a day? Is that fr it? She wants you to give the cat medicine, do the cat litter box, pick up dog poop, walk the dogs, take the trash out, and let them out multiple times a day, 3 dogs not just one. And she’s still complaining and accusing you of things bc she thinks you didn’t do a perfect job? That’s insane. She’s so rude. 135 american dollars is not enough for three days of that shit at all

ozmabean

1mo

Maybe $100/day but block for the entitled attitude…

OrchidObjective11

1mo

I would never pick up a bunch of old poop in the yard unless I was paid extra for that. That's not your job.

verydudebro

1mo

The amount of clients who do that is insane.

WineChisDoxies

1mo

I could never imagine sending a text like this to my pet sitter. She made a huge assumption and this is much more about her than it is about you or your services.

ExpressKey4365

1mo

For her to say she’s disappointed in you lmfao get a fucking grip i’d be annoyed. id say something like “I’m disappointed in your lack of appreciation” or “im disappointed in you for accusing me of these things, especially when I already do more than what Im paid for” after sorry to hear that. Also after you say there was already much poo in the garden i’d add (which is quite rude to assume i’d pick up” Lastly Id put more pressure on her to pay you soon. If not in this message, then tomorrow if she still hasn’t. How long has it been? Say something shady. Or even lowkey threaten to tell others that she hasn’t paid you for your work. She sounds terrible

imsofluffyhippo

1mo

Perfect response, that's a client to drop. What was she expecting a cleaning service?!

so_shiny

1mo

What is she, your mom?! What a way to email a professional. Like what? Anyways, your response is good and I think you should just block them after, nobody has time for that!

two-of-me

1mo

Nope I’d never put up with that. I say good riddance.

Safe-Jump-5780

1mo

Absolutely not. Unless you’re being paid extra to pick up dog shit that was previously there, it’s not your responsibility. But i also have never had clients ask me to pick up their dogs poo from the yard. Walks obviously but never from their own backyard.

PuddingandPeaches

1mo

UPDATE!

thanks soooo much for your replies, they have honestly made me feel a lot better.

She replied at 11pm last night with the below. I’m planning on not responding, and then dropping key back when invoice is settled as I don’t think I have anything else to say to her.

However advice is welcome!

‘Well that is a very upsetting response. I shall have trouble getting to sleep tonight.

Perhaps we can talk in the morning? Jenny

Sent from my iPad’

PuddingandPeaches

1mo

Another update - she’s left me a phone call really apologetic saying she doesn’t want to lose me and if we can try again! Invoice remains unpaid!

I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable offering my services to her again. I appreciate the apology but it’s very awkward!

Any advice? Thanks so much again!

All-The-Very-Best

1mo

While you have the upper hand, take advantage of it. Let her think you will be back. Get paid... then make sure you never lay eyes on her again!

Oops.. only just saw you already told her you likely won't be back. Yeah she might try not paying. You could act like she's won you over, in order to get paid.

God I hate people ike this.

Good luck. Hope you get paid.

kaykudos95

1mo

I second this!

throwaway1928675

1mo

I third it! Tell her you'll sit for her in the future, and to please send the balance. If/when she asks later, just tell her you are "booked"

BerthasKibs

1mo

This post makes me feel relieved that I am not alone in having occasional issues like this with clients. I know that people are all different and some people have problems with communicating and in a non-hostile way when they’re unhappy. Despite knowing that about people, I have a hard time not feeling like it’s always me that’s the problem. And I struggle with knowing how to formulate a proper response to them. So I love that you shared this, as well as your well worded, wise response to her because that’s a good example for me to follow, should I ever find myself in a similar predicament.

BerthasKibs

1mo

I also love this Reddit page because I find so much support here. I pet sit as my only job and I’m learning so so much from here, mostly about how to stand up for myself and be firm. But also about what are good boundaries.

banjogotwang

1mo

Oof, that’s a tough one. Part of me wants to say give it another shot bc maybe she just needed a good telling off and now that you’ve shown that you’re not to be messed with, she’ll act right from here on out? But I’m a bit of an idealist. The cynic in me thinks maybe she’s just being apologetic to be manipulative and will continue to be a pain.. I don’t know.. you know her much better than we do. If it’d be easy to replace her business with a new client, then I say just move on. Orrrr! Maybe take advantage of having the upper hand at the moment and renegotiate your prices with her to reflect the services you provide her? Ultimately, the ball is in your court right now so just do whatever best protects your peace and your wallet. 😅

Birony88

1mo

Oh sure, she found out she can't walk all over you and push you around, so now she's going to play nice. Nope. Too late. I would never work for this person again.

You may want to lead her to believe that you'll consider working for her again just so you can get paid. Otherwise she might just stiff you.

ExpressKey4365

1mo

what was your response to her before this? if you say anything i’d just say something about the invoice, has she still not paid?? Drop one off on her doorstep lol

texaspopcorn424

1mo

She's just an entitled asshole. She goes around life doing this in every situation. It's not you it's her.

banjogotwang

1mo

This post was recommended to me for whatever reason but since I’m here, you’re definitely NTA. She sounds like a real piece of work. I’m also really looking forward to an update. 😅

PuddingandPeaches

1mo

Update posted 😁 x

Slyvenhuffindor

1mo

NTA - You should have made her come get the key or add an additional charge to your invoice for key drop off.

elvish_foot

1mo

Did the client respond? Your message was perfect.

PuddingandPeaches

1mo

Update posted 😁 x

Overall-Magician-884

1mo

NTA, I don’t understand how some clients expect you to clean previous messes. They seem to be nitpicking, and are probably trying to get out of paying you. The amount you charge is really low. I’m the same way with my first client, I charge way less than others. You did the right thing by telling the client to find someone else. They won’t find someone who will do it for that amount, plus the pets probably love you.

NiteGard

1mo

We will require a follow up.

PuddingandPeaches

1mo

Update posted 😁 x

Thecardinal74

1mo

OMG YTA

That last paragraph that you sent her…..

It’s you’re not your

SO YTA.

Everything else about the situation and how you handled it is fine :P

1newnotification

1mo

you had me in the first part, ngl

adriennesmith-artist

1mo

Nah. You know I had one client that left their cat box and area such a mess. That I charged them for my time cleaning it. It all went very well because I explained things smelled like ammonia and it was a health issue, along with being in a tropical area, flies come, lay eggs, and hatch quickly. Not cleaning wasn’t an option.

Once they paid it was water under the bridge for me!

But I agree with you, for them to message you like this. Ugh. It’s so rude.

I’m glad you’re firing them as your client.

jaxaboo

1mo

i say GOOD DAY

Comfortable_Fudge559

1mo

She sounds like a real piece of work. You’re not charging enough and she thinks you need her. Block her but not before she pays. If she doesn’t pay, make sure you let any other walker or sitter know what she’s done and post it on Nextdoor and local Facebook too and other other place you can think of

kaykudos95

1mo

I charge $75 per dog and $25 per cat per day and even more of its constant around the clock care. I also ask for 50% upfront non refundable and get paid the rest after the service is complete. Your response is spot on and very respectful. I would absolutely drop her as a client and raise those prices ❣️

EmilySD101

1mo

I have NEVER had clients mad I didn’t pick up after their dog’s droppings before I arrived!!! That’s INSANE. If they need that help they should tell you beforehand or hire kids in the neighborhood to come by weekly!

adviceFiveCents

1mo

It sounds like she was taking out her stress on you and was shocked that you have boundaries. Some people just love to have employees! The gig doesn't seem worth continuing. You might not get what you're owed, but you don't owe her any additional response beyond what you've already communicated unless you wanna try the old "I'm unable to commit to future bookings until outstanding balance is paid." And THEN you don't owe her any additional communication. Don't let her manipulate you into thinking you owe her a whole breakup or, worse, reconciliation.

Angieer5762923

1mo

it sounds as you ve been also fed up with the client and building resettlement. Hence why you felt the need to finish your relationship all at once. Her message is a bit too straight forward for english and sounds as expecting perhaps too perfect person. The gate - could be questioned differently. The bin, could easily be mistake on her side thinking that she asked and so this message could be asked like that and then cleared as miscommunication. About the poop - totally unreasonable expectation. Did she honestly thought you would clear up her yard from dog poop? People hire special people for that and its definitely doesn’t include in a regular house sit. What if you don’t want this kind of responsibility at all? There is a difference between picking up fresh warm poop and picking up loads of old rotten cold poop. I mean a normal owner would first of all be happy to see their pets happy and in good health after the sit, and thank for taking a good care of them. Then might raise couple of questions as concerns. That would be totally fine.

The only thing since you mentioned that she didn’t pay you, id approach your answer differently. Pretty much same message but just more milder way. Because, well , you need her to pay you and you want still to leave a good relationship even not working for her bc she could still pass the negative word of mouth bc she would be upset at your answer. But still staying you grounds, not compromising a tiny bit.