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User deleted comment
17d
But why cant you keep the house so you have the suitable living situation? Is that just not an option with the way courts work with divorces? The house and full custody is effectively a package deal.
Sorry for not providing finance advice, but I'm just sad that in order to have 50/50 custody with your kids you have to have a 3 bedroom, single-family home, in the same zip code. That just doesn't seem fair and is overly burdensome. I get that it's for school district reasons, but seems like there are ways around that, and why isn't a three bedroom apartment good enough?
Wife had a better lawyer. In fact that stipulation (along with everything else) suggests to me that her and her lawyer probably worked hard for a scenario where she doesn't think he'll realistically be able to get 50/50 custody. There's a chance he does all this legwork, and then she explores relocation options for the goalposts.
I skimmed the post so I apologize if you answered this… why can’t you rent a house in the area?
Have you only been applying for conventional mortgages? Have you looked into FHA, FHA 203k, or other government loan programs?
User deleted comment
17d
That doesn't answer my question. And have you really shopped around with multiple lenders?
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17d
If you can qualify I think that would highly incentivize the route of paying off the credit card and loan first. It might also allow you to work out some deal with your ex so they wouldn't have to refinance their 2.5% rate, if you're open to that, as it does not sound like the divorce is finalized yet. So you might have more options.
It would probably be in your interests to start talking to lenders sooner rather than later, it's not really something you should put off, if you already know you are gonna be buying fairly soon. They don't have to pull your credit yet, and may be able to give you better guidance on navigating this uncommon buying scenario. How long has this house been sitting on the market?
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17d
Yeah it is what it is, the numbers aren't in your favor and divorce is expensive. But as long as you two are civil enough to compromise here and there, which is sounds like the case in spite of the disagreements, it might still work out.
Sounds like her lawyer pulled one over on you to nullify the 50/50 custody. Her keeping the house is going to cost you that joint custody in the settlement.