Starting to hate my beloved parrot

I've had a black capped conure for around 5 years now, and he's been my little baby. We've always been extremely close. Whenever I'm home he's on my shoulder or snuggled inside my shirt peeking through the collar. He's always been super good around people as well. I was always his favorite, but he loves people so much I'd bring him to my ex's office and he'd let strangers pet and hold him no issues. He never has been loud and even learnd to say a few words which I heard is fairly rare for these guys. He was literally the perfect parrot.

All that changed about 6 months ago. Out of no where he's become a menace and I don't know why. He attacks me when I get near his cage, he screams constantly, and he hates everyone. I can't even take him out of his cage because he'll fly at the nearest person and try to attack them. He seems to be terrified of people as well which I do not know why. He didn't have a bad experience, I never punished him (not that he ever needed it), he's never been a stressful environment, and I've says made sure to respect his space and cage.

I've been doing everything I can to try and rebuild our bond these past 6 months but I don't know what to do. I don't even feel comfortable about touching him let alone letting him out of his cage. My hands are scarred and bruised and I've cried so much about him. The other night I dreamt that he died and I replaced him. I woke up feeling so guilty, but kind of at peace too. I would never hurt him but it's getting to the point where some days I just want to open the window and let him go. It makes me so sad our bond is completely gone and it's starting to turn into resentment.

If anyone has any advice please help me. Is there any hope? Has anyone gone through this with their bird baby?

in parrotsby bluegreen_02

89%

25d

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25d

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ManeMelissa

25d

I second this comment; sometimes something has changed, but we humans just don't see it as something memorable. Has anything been added to the space? When I had my cockatiel there was a day I added a new poster to my room. He FREAKED out the next day when out of his cage; terrified, biting anyone. It took a few days to realize it was the damn poster. Poster was moved to a spot he rarely saw/flew to & he was back to normal. Is there any new equipment/tech that could be making a noise? New decor on any walls? Anything outside the windows he can see that flaps in the wind like a flag? New curtains or blinds? Birds are particularly freaked about anything above them since it mimics a bird of prey.

tomboyfancy

25d

My caique went nuts because we hung a goat calendar on the wall! We used to give a “goat gift” every year at the holidays because of a silly old personal joke and it temporarily traumatized my baby, lol!

dianaslasso

25d

Fingernail polish, someone changed their hair, wrong color clothes, 🤭 a different scent, different noises outside, PUBERTY…any and or all of those.

Kampvilja

25d

Oh man. I get this. Someone handed out little wooden cross keychains at work for Easter this year. My Senegal, Mister, is absolutely fearless but this tiny cross flipped him out just sitting on my desk. Maybe his pattern recognition read dangerous scorpion or something. I dunno. Of course another plausible explanation is that he is a spawn of Hell.

Beetlebug12

25d

The way this made me laugh lol

Zilhaga

25d

Has he been to the vet? I know it's a cliche, but it might be good to rule out a physical cause to make sure he's not acting out because he doesn't feel well. Otherwise, I'm sorry that this is happening - that is really frustrating - and I agree with everyone who suggested thinking about whether anything changed in his environment/living situation. My bird has not gone through that issue but we have had her randomly be afraid of some weird stuff.

bluegreen_02

25d

He gets regular checkup every 6 months, so it's about time for that. I'll see and hopefully rule that out!

pbj_demons

25d

hey there, not much behavioral input that hasn't already been addressed in this thread- but it's AWESOME he gets to the vet on a regular basis. pretty much nobody I know does that for their pets and it's great you're not only doing the yearly checkups, but double at that. wishing you both the best of luck figuring this out, I'm sure it's all very stressful. keep up the good work, it's very responsible for you to be proactive about his medical care and a real breath of fresh air for someone who spends way too much time on exotic animal forums.

EvilFinch

25d

Maybe think back if little things changed: did you use a different product, shampoo, laundry detergent... Did you move stuff in your apartment? Changed your diet? Maybe new neighbors? Something new you wear? Visitors? Family? A new electronic?

It could be something small, but for your parrot it is the biiiig change. If you aren't at home all the time, i would also get a camera, maybe something happens while you are away that stresses you bird out. Our at night and he doesn't get enough sleep.

If you have a second room, you can also try to move him to the other room, to see if it is something in this room.

A check-up at the vet could also be helpful. Some animals react with aggression when in pain.

Never forget: The bird doesn't know how to communicate with you, he doesn't mean it bad. He is stressed out for a reason and unfortunately he can't just tell you.

Foreign-Commission

25d

This one right here.

My greencheek and black cap hate a specific Megan Thee Stallion t-shirt my housemate has. No other clothing is a problem but you can just bring that shirt to them, turn it around and they lose their shit.

Briefcased

25d

Have you asked an avian vet? My first guess would be some kind of hormonal change? Those can generally be corrected through either changes to their lifestyle or medications.

I’m also reminded a little of my friends dog who suddenly became very aggressive. It turned out she had a chronic ear infection and so was just in constant pain - which made her snappy.

Regardless - I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds utterly horrible.

Puzzleheaded-Gas1710

25d

Sometimes, around 5 or 6 caiques get super hormonal for the first time. It's spring, so he is really going through it. It's probably a lot like an 11 year old girl getting her first period.

How much sleep does he get? What is his diet? Are you careful not to have anyone pet anywhere other than his head or neck?

SatansJuulPod

25d

second this! you mention lots of friends touching him. this sounds either hormonal or medical to me. please always make sure your friends know how to properly pet your bird🙏

bluegreen_02

25d

Yeah I think I'm going to see about having his hormones looked at at his next vet appointment... I'm really careful about people touching him in the right places. He's had the same diet for years, and then after his personality switched I tried making it more healthy and natural to see if that helped. Unfortunately it did not. I make sure he gets 12 hours of dark and 12 hours of light a day. I also work evenings, so my schedule is perfect for spending time with him, but still no progress:(

ithinkwereallfucked

25d

It wont “normalize” for a few years (think of these as his teenage years). Even once it gets better, it will flare up every year or so.

Good luck!

apparrotly

24d

This is what I hear a lot about birdy puberty. Hang in there - you clearly love him! It's amazing you're seeking support about something that is so vulnerable to share. Keep us posted 💕

caspin22

24d

OP said black capped conure. Are we talking about a Conure or a Caique?

Puzzleheaded-Gas1710

24d

Ope, I read it wrong. They do say conure.

wolfsongpmvs

25d

I can't offer any advice on how to fix him, but I can recommend to try and build some empathy. This is hard for you - its like a family member or a friend just suddenly turned on you without explanation - and I'm certainly not trying to downplay it because I know how it is. But try to look at it from his perspective. Even if you don't know what's freaking him out, imagine that you're a tiny animal living in someone's house, and suddenly something changed and now you're terrified of everyone and everything, including your only friend. It's hard!

I'm a zookeeper and I work with a lot of animals that hate my guts. But you still gotta love em back because they don't know that you do everything for them, they don't know any better. Just try to reframe your perspective around him and see if you can stop that resentment from building, because only then can you see the path forward to rebuilding the connection clearly.

Djehoetyy

25d

Didn’t you notice an immediate change? Then you can pinpoint to what it might be. For us, it was bringing him a female, directly from the moment he saw her he started seeing me and any other male as competition, while ignoring like my girlfriend. He recently died, unfortunately, but hadn’t stopped and we couldn’t find any solution :(

bluegreen_02

25d

The only major change was moving homes, but the behavior didn't start until months after the move so idk if that's the case..

videeternel

25d

Hi OP, so sorry you and your birdie are going through this!

First, I'll echo what others have said: has he seen a vet recently? That should be done first and foremost.
Secondly, how old is he? If you got him as a baby, making him five, he might be hormonal. My girl (GCC) just turned five and has been experiencing some new behaviors, such as nesting (Happened once with the papers under her cage, have since adjusted so she cannot do that anymore!). I've had her for almost two years now. She never used to bite me before but she's gotten me good a few times this past year! The vet also noticed some bloodwork changes relating to hormones, so I've had to adjust her sleep schedule by covering her earlier and getting blackout curtains.

Do you cover your boy at night and give him at least 12 hours of sleep? What's his diet like?

The Youtube channel Birdtricks has some great videos on working with aggressive parrots. They start with target training so that the parrot begins associating humans with good things again! Whether it's hormonal or, as other posters have said, a change in his environment, I think hands-off training such as target training would be good for you and him to start rebuilding your bond! That would also keep your hands safe!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWRxpgSS2_A&ab_channel=BirdTricks

ithinkwereallfucked

25d

Sounds like hormones. He’s transitioning from baby to adult. It’ll last for a couple years and then eventually pass, but you have to stay consistent with their sleep schedule and other habits.

But even once it “passes” it will flare up every year or so around spring time.

Laurenspicer43

25d

My black cap would go bananas when I brought a red exercise ball home. When not in use I put it away in the cabinet. Every single time I brought it out, he flipped out and started shrieking, then flew into the window. I had to get rid of the ball. He also didn't like when my hair looked different (like putting it up in a bun). He must have thought I was someone else.

Something in your house must have spooked your little guy. Anything new like changing furniture around, new clothes, noises outside.

Old_Weird_1828

25d

It happens with most parrots. It can be seasonal or temporary but sometimes it’s permanent. Don’t set him free. If it’s too much please find him a new home. And honestly please don’t replace him with the idea that he’s defective or something and a new one will be better because that’s not likely to be the case. Good luck

twistedredd

25d

he's hormonal and perhaps he thought you were his mate.

bluegreen_02

25d

I thought that too, but I can't tell. He was extremely sociable. He got along with anyone male or female. He definitely preferred me, but my bf could sit with me and he'd comfortably switch between our shoulders.

OnlySunnyDaze

25d

Just throwing this out there: Could also be hormonal. Does your birb get 12 hours of sleep? Diet change? Eating more fruit? The natural sugar can kick breeding mode into gear.

mrcashmen

25d

Lots of love, attention and new toys. Make sure ur baby is getting enough sleep and sunlight. A move is a stressful adjustment for everyone. Be patient, don't give up on your baby. They depend on us. 😍 He still loves you, bites and all.

dianaslasso

25d

This sounds like the baby is in birdy puberty and much like human puberty it is something wonderful though terrifying, especially at first, and can make them lose their minds and say and do uncharacteristic things and much the time they won’t even know why they did them. 😕 Try even more dark quiet hours and try to empathize with the confusion and wackiness of puberty. 🤞💖🦜

tahlulah_bankhead

25d

My parrot was like this. I went on a vacation and took him to our vet for boarding for a tend days, when we picked him up he was estatic to see me and much sweeter. Sometimes taking them away from their cage into a different environment helps when he starts acting like a grouch.

loafermtnapparel

24d

He’s hitting sexual maturity. It makes hormone season hit even harder. My macaw went through this and it was insanely difficult. It will get better. Make sure you’re only touching your birds head and neck and feet. Pretty much everywhere else can cause problems, especially if you are stroking your birds back. Check out Bird Tricks on YouTube.

Fredacus

24d

Sexual maturity! My Amazon changed personalities like this at around 8 yrs old. Now I make sure to adjust certain time of the year. More toys to destroy and burn off excess energy, increased dark sleepy time, lighter on the high sugar, high calorie foods, and heavy monitoring of his behaviors.

Intrepid_Goal364

24d

Sounds hormonal combined with the misperception that you are your birds mate undo this erroneous perception over time. While stressful bond which is still present but masked can be strengthened

desirewrites

25d

How old is he?

tranquilo666

-1

25d

Something must have changed, either in his environment or in his body. If he was a human I’d suggest getting him to the doctor for a brain scan.

Helpful_Okra5953

25d

Unfortunately brain scans cant tell you much. I would think birdie is sexually mature, or something is freaking him out. My birds hate when I wear glasses. One of them loathes face masks and bit a person who drove two hours to see her.

tranquilo666

25d

Anyone mind sharing why they are downvoting? I wasn’t saying get him a brain scan… just that something must have changed, and if a human changed this much it could be a medical issue. Did I say something wrong? Thanks!

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