User deleted post
View all comments
My gosh. Some therapists suck. No contact done correctly is very effective. If he doesn't want you, do NOT try to "desensitize" yourself by increasing exposure to him. If he's toxic, and there's no rational reason to want him in your life, give him up like a bad habit! I speak from experience.
I ended up deleting my post out of embarrassment - that therapy session brought up a lot and I think I focused on the wrong things.
She said that about desensitizing IF I wanted to keep being friends with him and the group like before. But she did add that if I see that it's something I don't want or I realize it isn't working out I should go back to distancing myself and maybe even inform someone in our mutual friend group of what's going on to make things easier.
I know that in the long run it's best to let go entirely. And that was what I was doing. But seeing him again and catching him staring at me a few times throughout the evening brought up some hope I didn't know I still had.
I might see him again but I'm staying in therapy to work on why he triggers so much in me. I see it as an opportunity to work on these things and be able to practice/test in "real time" the work I'll be doing. I know it sounds weird but we only see how far we have really gotten in therapy when we're put back in that triggering situation and are able to react differently
You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Most ppl have gone through something like what you've experienced and can relate. I'm glad there's more context to this because I was wondering whether your therapist was qualified.