Hi all Im young woman musician and some tragic garbage has hit my life and I guess I’m just looking for some clarity/input. I started my band about a year ago and until about 2 weeks ago it grew into me having a studio in my house, and playing original songs around my local town. We started as a 3 piece then a few months ago I found a killer lead guitar player. Unfortunately the guy I started the band with did something really gross to me, so much so I had to report him to the police. Now him and my bass player have left and it’s just me and my lead. I don’t know my lead as well and he’s a lot better then me. I’m not sure he’s gonna stick around but I don’t know. I put a lot of work into this band and now I have a big hole in my life for my music outlet and I’m just experiencing grief I guess. Have any of you had a band/project that fall apart? How did you deal with it? Edit: Thanks folks I really appreciate it, this is all very validating and gives me hope for my future endeavors. Makes me think I can really turn this around in my favor.
First, an honest talk with the lead player. Let him know exactly what's up and ask him about his level of commitment.
Assuming that goes well, it's time to find a drummer. Aside from the normal social media ads, do everything you can to be at some kind of scene in your free time. Shows, open mics, music store, just be there and be looking. Be on the scene you want to be on.
A bass player will show up at this point, it's a weird universal occurrence that I can't explain. Moving on.
Keep making progress in the background. Write songs, practice, make art, make friends, it will come together.
Oh, and don't trash talk about the former members, even if they deserve it. Just move forward and don't dwell on the past. Just like in any other relationship, don't talk about your ex, talk about your next.
Trash talk and warning others is not the same thing
Funny enough I’ve been debating this because I was the “Manager” and I made most of of not all the connections. I made the band happen and he just played his songs. I could absolutely tell everyone but I’m probably only going to do it if my peers ask. I lost a lot of friends in the process (which I didn’t know would happen because he hurt me lol) but my professional music connections are intact. I’m not sure how it’s gonna play out but I plan on being honest at every point lol