You get $50,000 a day, but...

Fuck no. Guys a tank, drunk and unhinged. This is a death sentence.

If his injuries don't heal as well, sure. I'll break a few of his limbs and he can cripple fight me every day.

If not, no, the random time of day makes it too random for me. I can work around a planned flight, but a random one basically ruins any semblance of a normal life. Sleeping and I get jumped? No thanks. At the store and I suddenly have to start shadow boxing because no one else sees it? Again, no, I don't need to get admitted to the psych ward for looking crazy.

Also, knowing nothing about the guy besides his height and weight, it's basically a no. Is it a 25 year old powerlifter or sumo wrestler? Then no. If it's a 90 year old that's just old and fat? Then sure.

SCP Designation: SCP-9432

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures:

1. Containment Facility:

• SCP-9432 is to be contained within a specialized containment unit designed to mimic a standard residential apartment to facilitate the daily manifestation of SCP-9432-1. The containment unit should be equipped with high-durability furniture and reinforcement to withstand daily altercations.

• SCP-9432 is to be monitored through CCTV equipped with infrared and thermal imaging to capture all activity, given the invisible nature of SCP-9432-1 to anyone but SCP-9432.

1. Security Measures:

• A minimum of two guards trained in non-lethal suppression techniques should be stationed outside SCP-9432's containment unit at all times. Guards must be equipped with riot gear modified for rapid mobilization and deployment.

• The containment unit is to be secured with reinforced steel doors and biometric locks that only authorized personnel can access.

1. Medical and Psychological Support:

• A medical team must be on standby to provide immediate care for injuries sustained during SCP-9432-1's manifestations. Medical personnel should be trained in trauma care and rapid response.

• Regular psychological evaluations are to be conducted to assess SCP-9432's mental state and resilience against the psychological stress of daily combats.

1. Financial Monitoring:

• All financial transactions involving the automatic daily deposit of $50,000 into SCP-9432's account are to be closely monitored. Funds are to be managed by the Foundation's financial department to prevent any external exploitation or anomaly propagation.

• Valuables and personal belongings of SCP-9432 are to be cataloged and stored in a secure vault when not in use to prevent them from being "stolen" by SCP-9432-1 during defeat scenarios.

1. Research and Testing:

• Research into the origins of SCP-9432-1's manifestation and potential methods of permanently neutralizing the threat without harm to SCP-9432 is ongoing. Testing with memetic barriers, psychic inhibitors, and reality anchoring technologies are currently underway.

• Experiments involving D-class personnel with similar anomalous effects are approved under Protocol 19-C to test the range, strength, and limitations of SCP-9432-1's capabilities.

Description:

SCP-9432 refers to a human subject (hereafter referred to as SCP-9432) who is afflicted by a daily manifestation of an aggressive entity designated SCP-9432-1. SCP-9432-1 is described as a 6-foot tall, approximately 300lb male with an inclination for violence towards SCP-9432. The entity appears randomly once every 24-hour period and is visible and interactable only to SCP-9432. SCP-9432-1's behavior is highly aggressive and focused solely on physically assaulting SCP-9432. Upon defeat or temporary incapacitation of SCP-9432, SCP-9432-1 will dematerialize until the next daily manifestation.

Notes:

• SCP-9432 was secured and contained after incidents of public disturbance and unexplained injuries led to Foundation intervention.

• The unusual circumstances of SCP-9432's curse, including the daily financial benefit coupled with high-risk physical combat, pose significant challenges for containment and necessitate a multifaceted approach encompassing security, medical care, and psychological support.

No, cumulative injuries from the fights would probably kill you within a week.

Just a reminder for everyone, the rules say you can't bring a weapon to fight with, and it'll disappear when the guy appears. The rules don't say you can't pick up weapons after the fact. He shows up at a restaurant? You've got cutlery in the front and back of the house, even something like salt can be used to blind him. At a mechanic? Get him into position and drop a car on him or find some tool to use.

No one else can see or interact with the guy, so I'm assuming something is stopping people dead in their tracks or you and the guy are removed from reality and placed into a pocket reality copy of your surroundings. Otherwise, people would actively be watching you "fighting" by yourself and have you committed, thus interfering with the fight. The rules are already unfair as it is, but if you're also susceptible to outside interference from people, but the guy isn't, that just makes it impossible in the end to even do.

So, just set up weapons around you where you're able. Your car, your house, your workplace, etc. So long as you aren't in contact with them, they won't disappear. Otherwise, EVERYTHING around you would have to disappear because you can makeshift weapons out of plenty of everyday things.

If I can do it for 1 or 2 days, sure, I'm in. If I'm stuck for life then absolutely not, that's a trash fucking life fighting every single day. I don't even like fighting, but 50k a day for 2, maybe 3 days, is worth it.

Well I am 6 foot 4 and around 300 myself. Would be sober 95 percent of the time so sure. He comes to rush me all drunk and I just repeatedly punch him in the dick till he is defeated..

Rinse and repeat.

fuck no haha

The first paragraph sounds like an abusive relationship I was in years ago.....I'm down. At least I get paid for it this time.

If I can wear a suit of power armor the second he appears and discard it as soon as he's defeated, sure.

Otherwise this is a terrible deal and nobody in their right mind would take it.

People massively underestimate how dangerous a street fight is.

There isn’t a person alive that could fight this person every single day and win every time. That includes professional fighters.

MAYBE if you had a gun but realistically they are still going to get you eventually. No matter how good you are, eventually you’ll be caught off guard, get injured and then you are fucked.

Setting that aside, the random nature of the attack and the fact that no one else can see the guy means you are going to get tossed in an asylum before too long

Issue here is that the psycho will work you over until he “knocks you out” every time. That means you either win the fight or suffer a small amount of brain damage every single day. God forbid he injures any of your appendages that take months to heal, then you’re unable to fight back and looking at getting a concussion every day for months on end.

As a relatively fit 30-something man, I’m confident I could survive this deal for a decade maybe (assuming nothing crazy happens to me health wise). After that, it gets dicey. Even giving myself the benefit of the doubt and thinking I could win this fight almost every day until I’m 50, what does my quality of life look like after that point? I’m not sure this is worth it.

The only way to make this work is to make the absolute most of that $50,000 by hiring the best instructors from every major martial art across the globe and training for hours every day. The money does give you the advantage most don’t have. You’ll have major amounts of free time. Instead of turning 40 and becoming a complete slob piece of shit like most of us do, you’ll need to stay fit and well trained. With proper nutrition and training, most men don’t see a major drop off in strength until they’re about 60.

Naw, man, I’m 5’10”, 165. I’m in decent shape and can handle myself if I need to but a 6’ 300 pound dude is almost double my weight and would destroy me. Even if I could somehow outsmart him and “win” on some days, the fight itself would be exhausting and I’d still suffer injuries, which wouldn’t be fully healed by the next day. I’d spend a lot of time needing medical care or likely even hospitalization. That’s a lot of money but too brutal of a consequence to accept. If it was one fight a week, or any of my injuries instantly healed and reset after every fight, it’s possible I’d consider accepting.

So he is shorter than me, very over weight and will not stop until he fights me? So I run ultramarathons and I have 10+ years of sparring (boxing/tang soo do/bjj) experience. I've also worked doors at bars and clubs and done event security. Handling a drunk guy that outweighs me is not outside of my wheel house.

 I would just egg him on and get him to chase me. Maybe he starts at a sprint, but no way he is keeping that up very long. Run a few miles talking trash or just wait for him to get winded, shouldn't take long with the booze elevating his heart rate.

I assume that the rules for healing also apply to him, so kick his knees backwards when he is too exhausted to fight back. I can pull 300 pounds definitely, so drag him by the leg I just broke the knee of to a curb and jump on his ankle. Repeat the other side, then stomp his hands until it is very apparent that every bone in both hands is broken.

Since you never stated any strange abilities outside of; appearing near where I am and no one can see or interact with him other than me; I have to assume that he is otherwise a mortal being. Break him badly enough and he is easy to beat for months. He is drunk and untrained, so he likely isn't going to get better faster than I would get at breaking him everyday. 

This is an interesting hypothetical scenario with some important considerations. On one hand, $50,000 per day is a life-changing amount of money. Over the course of a year, that would amount to over $18 million, which could provide incredible financial security and open up many opportunities.

However, the tradeoff is essentially living in a state of constant anxiety and danger. Even with the financial upside, having to fight a large, aggressive man every single day would be extremely stressful and exhausting, not to mention dangerous. The physical toll alone would be immense over time.

There's also the risk that even if you win the fight, the man could still inflict serious injuries before being defeated. Cumulative injuries and concussions from daily fights would almost certainly lead to major long-term health issues. The paranoia of never knowing when he will appear would make it nearly impossible to ever relax or feel safe.

Ethically and psychologically, being forced to badly injure or even kill the same person every day, even in self-defense, could be very traumatic and damaging. The fact that no one else can see the attacker might even lead to doubting one's own sanity.

So while the financial upside is tremendously appealing, the massive downsides to quality of life, physical health, and psychological wellbeing would be too great in my assessment. Waking up every day dreading a violent confrontation is not a healthy way to live, no matter the monetary reward. The risks are simply too severe.

Ultimately, I would decline the offer. No amount of money is worth sacrificing your health, safety and peace of mind to that degree. A life lived in constant fear is not much of a life at all. The wiser path is finding ethical ways to improve your finances that don't put you in daily mortal danger. While not as fast a path to wealth, it's a far more sustainable approach to building a prosperous, fulfilling life.

I live in America. Cardio is key. A 6ft 300 pound drunk guy who also can’t throw a punch would be light work, considering I would just need to move at a brisk pace till he tires out. Never even have to throw a punch. We have some fstasses here

No one else can see or interact with the man but you.

Doesn't matter because of this, we are all being committed to an insane asylum.

The first person that sees me fight air and lose, is gonna be real worried.

No. I couldn’t beat a 100lbs girl in a fight every day. One day she will get lucky. 

I'd pay four big ass dudes to protect me all day. They could be making $5,000 a day a piece and I'd still be doing incredibly well.

Pass, I'd be locked up for hallucinating. Then die in a padded cell. Money doesn't do me much good in that case.

He's untrained? I was a competitive wrestler and Tae Kwon Do practitioner, and were I 50 or even 60 years old or younger again, he's gonna go down hard and quite quickly. I'd have taken this deal in a heartbeat. But I'm 71 and too likely to get hurt by accident now. Not to mention the beating my now rather fragile knees would take every day.

Ill fucking beat the absolute dog shit out of that obese alcoholic idiot

so i’m the chicken and i’m fighting peter griffin throughout the day. absolutely. peter griffin and the giant chicken never kill each other so i am in the clear

Armor is allowed, per the rules, so bring it! I'm bigger than him anyways

Yeah I'm definitely stronger and bigger.

No thanks, he’ll eventually get in a lucky shot and you will die.

I may not have any weapons, but my wife beside me will always be strapped from now on. I have no problem kicking this phantom drunk while he's bleeding out on the ground. Fight over.

Even if I won every day for weeks on end eventually the wear and tear, the bruises on my knuckles and potential broken bones from hitting him would cripple me to the point eventually he's gonna whoop me, and then he'll keep whooping me til I'm dead- this is one of the easiest to say no to!

Now, if I auto heal following each fight that's a different story. It'd still be a tough one due to the mental stress every day but it would at least be up for debate.

6 foot 300 lbs and drunk??

Cons: I'm sure he's gonna hit hard Cons: he's drunk, so he's aggressive

Pros: I'm a big guy myself, so it evens out. 6'4 and 250 lbs

Pros: I've boxed most of my life, so I'd be able to counter what he throws or duck and jab him until I knock him out.

Pros: If he's drunk, his equilibrium is gonna be off. He's gonna move left but turn right so he won't know which way to punch. If you have been drunk, you know this feeling

Pros: 300 lbs is pretty fat. If he doesn't land any punches in the first few seconds, he's gonna gas out. Then you just punch him in the ribs and chest, and he's out of breath.

Yes. I'll do it for 20 days and collect a million. That's enough financial security for me and my family. I can still keep working but not worry about a 30-year mortgage

If I could stop the cycle, then I'm down. Not something I'd wanna do at 50. But I'd do it for a year. I'd also live in the woods and buy some bear traps. He's in for a bad time.

I’m 6’3 and 265. I’m 33 so not in terrible shape, and I’ve got a few friends that are of comparable size that are willing. We’d just sit in an open space and wait for him.

For 50k, I’m hunting him down. 6’2” tall 250lb sober guy wanting 50k REAL BAD

Even if I am capable of recovering from the daily abuse, the moment I become unwell from illness or injury I am doomed.

No. Just no. He will kill me any day of the week.

What's the point of taking a deal where it's 100% sure I'll die lmao hell no

I'm dying in like 3 days. So no.

Nah. I'd just be in the hospital for the rest of my very VERY short life.

There is no way this is worth it.

I'm in the prime of my life (allegedly) and already the concept of me beating a 6' tall 300lb drunk man in a street fight is questionable at best. I could probably manage it a few times, but overall my win ratio will decrease as I accrue injuries and get older. Being knocked out is really bad for you, so you'd succumb to this really quickly the second you start losing fights. Even if I win a fight, the chance of me breaking a bone in my hand or twinge my back, or roll and ankle is too high. And that's just stuff you get during the fight. What if I have an accident unrelated to the fight? Or get sick? Would he fight me as I sit there receiving chemo lmao?

You say it persists every day until you die, even just keeping this up 5 years is impossible, and to best honest, even 1 year is mad. The fact that he appears at random times means you can't prepare for it, and you can't even enjoy the money as a consolation as you'd waste on average 50% of your day waiting for the fight to start.

If I was suicidal, and wanted to give that money to my family I'd take it. Otherwise, there is no life to be had here. This is just death by beating.

doesn't define what a loss is so yeah sure is take this, if the money's going right into my bank account I'd gladly forfeit every day and walk home naked as he takes all my goods, see ya tomorrow bud

Luckily I am a 6’1 300Lbs sober man hell bent on kicking someone’s ass provided with an excuse.

I'm sober, 2 inches taller, and roughly the same weight. I think I could manage. For 50k a day, you could dedicate an hour or two each day to martial arts

I’m 6’ 3” 275. I like my chances

A drunk man 3X my body weight? Hell no!

Yea, I pay 150 a month to train at my mma gym which is basically this scenario. Id much rather get paid 50k a day to do this.

The average 300 pounder is incredibly unathletic, distance management, knee stomps as they close in, and grappling experience would make this a cake walk.

I’m doing it. He’s shorter than me and has only 20 pounds on me.

Am I able to do this for just a few tears and then quit, keeping the spoils? Really do not feel like doing this in my 80s unless he is also aging in the same fashion.

Secret hack: go live in the forest for a week naked and fight him there. Easy 350k

If he's drunk enough, he probably won't be that big of a problem.

Well since I'm 6 ft and 267 lbs and am trained to fight I would accept the challenge. But you say no one else can see him does this mean I look like a crazy person fighting with myself once a day?

So I'm fighting a mirror?

Accept and hand him a notarized affidavit of victory before he even gets started.

You win. Gimme my $50k.

About my size but untrained and drunk? Bring it on

My cane legally is a medical device and if used in self defense it counts as a part of my body. It's solid oak so i have a slight advantage as long as i get that hit off.

Nah even a professional fighter isn’t gonna last more than like 10 days without healing. They’d be great for a bit, but even like peak fitness Mike Tyson is eventually going to fracture fingers and toes, and they’re never gonna heal bare knuckle punching every day. From there things would fall apart very quickly.

No? Literally every human on the planet would die to this guy in under a year. Even the best hand to hand fighter will eventually be worn down.

For 99% of people this reads as “you get 50,000 a day, but die by the end of the week”.

Even assuming he doesn’t kill your, you’ll just be consistently beaten to an inch of your life for the rest of your life.

Then throw on the random timing to it, and it’s just an all around nightmare. You have to effectively wake up at 11:50 every night and only go to bed after the fight. Eventually you’ll be fighting him on zero sleep, or risk having him just murder you in your sleep.

How drunk?

No magic auto healing? No dice.

Well shit, it looks like I'm in a mirror match. Well, closer to 260 for me. But it's close enough that i'd be OK. Now, after a while of this, I'd imagine I'd get really good at fighting this guy. I'd probably end up dying younger because of the constant physical trauma, tho.

how drunk is he

Drunks are bad fighters so better than being sober. Also I'd get better at fighting. He would still be the same drunk asshole. Can even train. Surround myself with badasses. Best doctors. Booby traps. Million ways to work this. Also, don't need to do it forever, just until I get what I need for the foreseeable future.

Yeah this is two obvious of a lose lose

People are overlooking the "drunk" part. It's not an even fight if their reactions are slower, vision lags, and has much worse balance. You can use all of these advantages to win the fight every time

Since I am a 6'4" 300lb kinda drunk man.....game on short dude.

So he resets and I don't? You fucking kidding me? No. 

50 grand a day to hang out with my dad? Sure

Jfc this sub is stupid

He’ll stop fighting once he’s defeated but he’ll always come back even if he’s dead. Then how does one defeat him in the first place

Bit of loophole cheese here but it says any weapons we have ON us, I will happily pay someone 1000 a day to carry a .410 or even a sawn off 12 gauge. Load up some buckshot or dragons breath for fun and as soon as he appears just waste him.

You weighed this too heavily in the drunk guy's favor. Even if you accepted, this would be physically impossible even for top fighters

He has similar stats to me, but I’d be sober. I could take him.

Easy $50k. Prior to the start of this experiment, I buy pepper spray and practice proper use of it. I also stay alert at all times. Once attacked, spray him. Then, I use the money to get personal hand to hand combat training. Eventually, it all becomes second nature, and I either deal with it or not.

Sit in a chair, with a gun right next to me. It’s not on me, so the moment he arrives I grab it and shoot him.

The bit about no one else seeing or interacting with him is annoying but after a week or two I’m good.

Honestly, the only reason I say no is because there’s no off-switch to this scenario.

If I don’t get healed after lol nope.

what counts as a weapon?

how drunk is he? how much is muscle and how much is fat?

This depends... weapons disappear on my body when he is there. What if I have a gun closest next to the office I never leave whilst playing on my new ridiculous super computer and vr?

Really, it depends on how drunk he is. A 300lb (136k) stumbling drunk man is pretty easy to dispatch.

If I kill him would I be brought up on charges? I'm guessing no, since no one else can see him, Cuz I don't need a new murder charge stacking up every single day.

But if he's stumbling drunk, yeah, maybe. How long will this contract last? Will he grow older as I grow older?

He's untrained? At this point in my life I feel like I could choke him out fairly quickly, but when I'm 70 will he still be in his 30s?

I could fight someone that was almost as big as me every day for maybe a week or two, but every day for the rest of my life? No thanks.

When I'm an old man, I would not be winning at all

Pass

Maybe if I could do it one day a year, choosing the day. But every day? Fuck no.

If I do kill him, does his body just disappear or something?

Well that just sounds like my depression personified.

Can I do it for like 3 days?

6 foot 300 lbs and drunk??

Cons: I'm sure he's gonna hit hard Cons: he's drunk, so he's aggressive

Pros: I'm a big guy myself, so it evens out. 6'4 and 250 lbs

Pros: I've boxed most of my life, so I'd be able to counter what he throws or duck and jab him until I knock him out.

Pros: If he's drunk, his equilibrium is gonna be off. He's gonna move left but turn right so he won't know which way to punch. If you have been drunk, you know this feeling

Pros: 300 lbs is pretty fat. If he doesn't land any punches in the first few seconds, he's gonna gas out. Then you just punch him in the ribs and chest, and he's out of breath.

Yes. I'll do it for 20 days and collect a million. That's enough financial security for me and my family. I can still keep working but not worry about a 30-year mortgage

6 foot 300 lbs and drunk??

Cons: I'm sure he's gonna hit hard Cons: he's drunk, so he's aggressive

Pros: I'm a big guy myself, so it evens out. 6'4 and 250 lbs

Pros: I've boxed most of my life, so I'd be able to counter what he throws or duck and jab him until I knock him out.

Pros: If he's drunk, his equilibrium is gonna be off. He's gonna move left but turn right so he won't know which way to punch. If you have been drunk, you know this feeling

Pros: 300 lbs is pretty fat. If he doesn't land any punches in the first few seconds, he's gonna gas out. Then you just punch him in the ribs and chest, and he's out of breath.

Yes. I'll do it for 20 days and collect a million. That's enough financial security for me and my family. I can still keep working but not worry about a 30-year mortgage

Can I just restrain him to prevent the respawn?

yes He's drunk and trippy I can kick him in the balls

I can survive the first day most likely. After that, it’s game on.

I immediately go to Lowe’s with my money, and begin turning my house into the ultimate Home Alone scenario.

I’m not allowed to have weapons on me? No problem I have every window rigged, every door booby trapped, he’s not Santa, he ain’t getting through my chimney.

After only a few days I have enough money to buy some decent land and begin work on my true project. A literal 1:1 recreation of the home from Home Alone, complete with basement, attic, and treehouse. I have a team of well paid engineers and contractors working on it day and night. There’s practically no amount of money I can’t throw at it.

Meanwhile I begin training. The motivation would always stay because everyday I would see this man’s rage trying to kill me. I would get in insanely good shape, mostly cardio. He’s drunk, a solid well timed push is usually enough to put him on his back, and then my training from the cowboys I hired kicks in. I hogtie him. He’s fully defeated in record time.

The rare times a drunk man manages to get past my security, I handle it easily, thanks to the motion cameras and team of security. They can’t intervene but they can spot for me.

Then finally, I hire a therapist. Anytime Jimbo shows up now she talks to him, but he won’t listen blindly trying to kill me until he is inevitably defeated. Years go by and everything feels fairly routine, but finally a breakthrough! Jimbo while on his back struggling manages to have a conversation with Kennedy, his therapist. Day after day they begin making slow but steady progress until now.

He’s sober now, still confused about why he was cursed to live this fate but at least he’s living it clean. I stopped “defeating” him a while ago. Now Jimbo just hangs out in the house, does his own thing. For a 6’5 drunk rage monster he’s a surprisingly nice guy now.

But I’ve become too lax. The rules were clear. Fate WILL find a way. I’m sleeping deep one night so I don’t hear the liquor cabinet open. The vodka being chugged. I awaken, tucked snuggly in my bed, to the site of Jimbo looming over me, that glazed look in his eye. Was this always fates plan or did he realize this was his only way out? I laugh weakly, spitting blood as he beats me with all the pent of rage of a man who’s lost the last several thousand encounters.

Towards the end I catch his eyes with mine. We’re both crying. I nod. One last punch and both of our lights are out forever.

It took fate 12 years 3 months to finally win. In that time I made 2.6 billion dollars. All of my friends and family have been more than taken care of, I’ve donated aggressively to charities and political campaigns, I’ve hopefully made some small impact. My will states that my land is to be turned into a combination person and animal rehab and reservation. The plaque above the entry way reads, We’ll never stop fighting for you. The kangaroo pens are built in honor of Jimbo.

Look at what we created Jimbo, thanks for everything man.

I accept. Drunk, fat dude with no training is an easy win everytime.

I don't see anything in here about automated weapons or trapping the guy somewhere. If he can be killed and can physically interact with me, then I'd assume that means he has to be able to interact with walls and stuff, no?

So why can't I just build like a big plexiglass box or just dig a deep pit, get is drunk a$$ in there once, and then never actually "defeat" him. Then whatever weird cycle he's on should get stuck.

If that wouldn't work because he just magically disappears/re-appears, then I'd probably just invest some of that money in a body guard or two who just follows me around equipped with a tranq gun equipped with poison darts. Carry a laser pointer around, and then spend a bit of time working out a system with the body guard(s) so they know how to infer where he is based on where I'm shining the laser pointer.

Then, I'm technically not carrying a weapon, but can have this dude killed pretty easily without causing too much of a scene.

I’ll beat em

Even if I was an elite fighter at some point he is going to beat the crap out of me whilst asleep and then I'll never recover from the follow-up up beatings.

Same guy every time? I'm down. Drunks are predictable. Fat ass drunk guy will lead with a right cross every time.

If you know what's coming you can beat it every time. He's drunk, so stealth and ambush are off the table.

Just carry around a gun if you live in America

Pocket sand Fingerless mechanic gloves hardened knuckles(not weapons) Bic lighter Binaca breath spray … Altoids ….

He should wear safety goggles as captain insano (me) shows no mercy …

I would bring the ruckus. And also use that money to learn to become a badass fighter. So I don’t get the shit kicked out of me everyday

Ok

I live in Florida, BANG

I’d take it. I’ve been consistently training BJJ (and a little kickboxing) over the years, and I’m 6 feet tall and just under 200 lbs. I’ve gone against guys his size with no training, and they’re not hard to handle, especially since you described him as obese.

The only caveat would be if he’s allowed to surprise attack me, like in my sleep or something. Then I’d have to make other plans.

Batman style gauntlets(armor)

I’m in. I’m 6’2, 300 lbs 

Nope

Well i am 6 foot as well so yea i'll do it for like a month

I'm 42, 6 ft., 250 pounds and in decent shape. I figure I've got maybe 10 years to collect before he starts giving me problems. Not worth it

I'll take it, I'm 6ft3 and 230 with experience - will be a daily sparring exercise

Same height. 70 lbs on me. I'm trained. I'd kill him if I wasn't careful. Easy money.

How drunk are we talking about here? Drunk people can't fight effectively. Couple that with the fact that 300lbs at 6' is obese, I think my chances are pretty good. That said, a daily fight is gonna kill me at some point.

My answer is no, but a consideration:

No one else can see or interact with the man but you.

This tells me that time must pause, or that this man is effectively a ghost, and there will be a plethora of interested folks wishing to know what the fuck is going on.

After all, watching your coworker suddenly develop bruises and lacerations before your very eyes is at minimum worrying. It is unnatural, and breaks laws of logic and physics alike.

Additionally, what happens if just...run away? Granted, I'll be hunted, but if he can't be interacted with, then he can't get food. He can't get water. He will die a slow, painful death, taking longer than a day to do so.

Still a no, though. I've said it once, and I'll say it again: I live in America. If I wanted to kill myself, I'd just buy a shotgun.

Death by TBI does not sound like a good time, thanks.

I mean - how drunk is drunk? Like shit faced barely able to talk? Or just buzzed and hyped out of his mind?

I’m 6’ 1” 185 lbs and hit the gym every day. If this dude is untrained like you say I would fuck him up.

Let’s go

Can I just shoot and kill him everyday?

Unless I can use something I find around me as a weapon, (which would still be a gamble, but more possible), this is just, "Would you die for 50k?"

Like, even among pro fighters, who's out here fist-fighting this gorilla EVERY DAY, without getting injured after like, day 5 minimum?

Yes. Untrained, drunk, 300lbs. He can barely make it to from his couch to his bathroom. I’d do this 100%

I need this in a video format, just a sketch of this. It would be hilarious, just the most inconvenient of times like waiting in line at a restaurant, on the toilet, funeral, birthdays the lists are endless.

other people fight him?

God no.

I am a 6' 320 dude who probably drinks more than he should. I'm also (somewhat) trained as a fighter. Assuming the guy never gets any better, absolutely.

Besides, after the first week I can hire guards to take care of him.

I don't think anyone besides an actual MMA world class fighter could reasonably do this for an extended period of time, and those guys make a ton of money anyways. Like 90% of people probably die or are hospitalized on day one just considering the dude's physicals. He is significantly taller, heavier and presumably much stronger than almost all of the population. and those outliers who are like 6-7 foot and built like shaq or those who are combat trained will still pick up injuries every day and probably lose within a week at the max.

I’m 6’ 6” and 250lbs. I’d take this.

Can I carry some kind of tranq pill that i take when he shows up so I'm knocked out?

No, the only time I've ever almost been knocked out was by a 5'4" 250lbs guy who was drunk. Let me tell you something about fighting fat people holy over hand right. I'm pretty sure the dude broke or fractured my jaw it took me days to be able to chew with no pain I'm my skull