Just my opinion but i struggle to relate to people with hygiene issues at this point

Not with you. Some people are not taught how to clean themselves as kids by their parents and then they grow up to be adults who have never learned the most effective hygiene, and are doing the best they can. Empathy goes far.

Just be glad you can't relate and leave it at that.

I appreciate the sentiment, but you've left out a few things.

As a doctor, we lack the time to teach people about hygiene in most circumstances in big cities. We rely too heavily on the fall back of "if the parents won't, a doctor will." We pay doctors in this society to combat illness, yes. But good hygiene practices start in the home.

Poverty is a perfectly acceptable diagnosis in my purview. Too many people can't afford basic necessities, soap, deodorant, toothpaste, tooth brushes. Many live in food deserts, which means their only source of these products is predatory priced dollar chains. Many don't have educational resources too learn about social services, adult care, how to obtain food stamps cards.

At the bare minimum, this subreddit is a place where hopefully, people young and old can come and give feedback for genuine concerns about how to care for one's body, home, and immediate environment. It shouldn't matter what background they come from. It's free, and hopefully offered kindly.

I gave birth in 2018 baby died 3 days later and I have been stuck with body odor ever since I've used every sofa every deodorant aqw Dr's did blood test nothing works so yes be glad u can't relate

Unfortunately it’s not just depression, which it often is.

It can be a sign of intellectual disability. That population often has serious difficulties with hygiene because they cannot grasp the reasons for being clean. And not just personal hygiene usually, but overall.

You pointing it out this way just makes you sound like an ass, though.

One of the biggest reasons this subreddit exists is so that people who don't know why they have a problem can have a safe space to ask so they can try to get better. Shitting on people for seeking help will ohly make them NOT seek that help and continue to suffer. And then we all suffer.

Don't be an AH.

coming to a place where people seek help and suggestions with their hygiene just to ridicule them is some low down dirty shit. get tf on

I know this is not AITH.. but YTA nonetheless

I struggle to relate as well but I have to remind myself a lot of people didn't have my upbringing.  In my my mind it's common knowledge but I know it's sadly not.  

 My spouse doesn't like showering and can go over a week without showering.  It's ruining my marriage so I struggle to be sympathetic to people were not taught hygiene or depressed.  I try to be sympathetic about it.  

Giving mean energy regardless tbh. Because what’s your point? You already agree people go through shit and that’s probably why they don’t know why they smell. If they find solace in this group- let them? Tf.

It’s not too late to delete this mean post

Someone help me understand if yall so fucking clean and hygienic, why are you in r/hygiene looking down on people trying to be more hygienic 🤡 its the entire point of the subreddit. Wouldn't you have tips and routines to share instead of literally wasting your time? Goofy ass

ive only recently been learning about proper hygiene and a lot of the issue growing up for me wasnt that i wasnt TAUGHT, but that it wasnt enforced and the importance wasnt communicated to me. im not gonna brush my teeth if i hate doing it and i don't understand WHY i should or HOW to do it PROPERLY. im not gonna wash my feet if i don't understand WHY i need to, theyre covered with socks and shoes and they get "washed" in the shower without having to go through the weird sensation of scrubbing them. im not gonna wash my bedsheets if theyre not VISIBLY stained and gross because "dirty even if you cant see it" doesnt make sense to me. im not gonna wash my hands after i go to the bathroom if i have no reason to, they didnt directly touch anything gross so why would i?

thats the philosophy i grew up with. it was never explained to me WHY things are done so i didnt think there was a good reason so i didnt do it. now im having to teach myself everything from square one and it's actually a lot to learn and keep up with when youre not used to it. its humiliating, too, to be seen as disgusting when thats whats been normal to you your whole life.

Odor is such a wide spectrum though… Some people are genuinely sick, and not through depression, or lack of aid. - A family member is stuck with a certain scent from an illness they’re dealing with, and it seems as if it’s not leaving regardless of scrubbing, bathing, deodorant, antidepressants, body creams and sprays. - everyone has a specific scent regardless of what they use or don’t use.. - Don’t be mean about it, if you can point out a particular issue like must, or gentile oder, offer help. other than that, not much you can do but treat people with respect. - But yes there are basics to hygiene and the ones you laid out are pretty much those…

After my rape it was hard for me to feel like it was worth it to have hygiene.

But after recovering I love being clean and smelling it. I relate to those people and I wonder what they went through.

My mother never taught me how to clean myself. And I wasn't allowed on the internet as a kid either. Took a while for me to learn everything myself.

I was never taught about hygiene and learned it all myself from Google, but I wish I had someone I could ask basic questions to without being judged. That's the point of this sub for people to ask the questions and not get judged for asking them. What's the point of being on a hygiene sub if you don't want to see questions about hygiene? Just Google, whatever it is, you don't know.

I used to be like you, not understanding why x persons can't just do x thing the way I do x thing...

Then as I grew older I started to understand and stop myself from getting so frustrated with others over their inability to do x thing the way I do x thing.

Soap and water are great... sure, but I know people with other issues that create odor.

I'd suggest looking up the following words: medication side effects body odor

Also, not everyone is taught the same thing. Some people's normal bo and certain soaps don't react well.

There are SO MANY variables to consider.

And I had issues growing up. Still do actually. I try not to judge people on that though and look at them and their situation and try to think about what if I was in their situation with their problems.

Check your privilege maybe? The whole point of this subreddit is to share knowledge and have discussion. Scroll past the posts you don't find to your fancy regarding hygiene. 🤷‍♀️

It's important to have empathy first, and to leave shame and harsh judgement out of it. Why?

Because people who are not cleaning themselves, not instituting good habits, and not taking care of themselves typically don't feel very good about themselves. They don't look in the mirror and feel awesome. They don't love their body. They aren't usually feeling awesome every day.

They often already feel awful about themselves.

Telling them everything wrong about themselves, adding more shame, and telling them how they are awful only further pushes them down to feel worse - which makes them less likely to get up and brush. Less likely to get up and shower. It exacerbates the problem. We perpetuate the problem and make it worse by attempting to use shame as a motivator.

Of course, it is their responsibility to do better. They need to be accountable for themselves. But encouragement, empathy, and understanding has an incredible power. Because once people feel that it is possible to do better, that they can make a change, that getting up to do their hygiene isn't impossible and that they aren't some terrible person who will be terrible forever, then they feel better. And when they feel better, they have more motivation to get up and brush. To get up and shower. They feel like it's possible.

Shame is very different from guilt. Shame says "You are unfixable. This is the creature that you are. You will always be this way." Guilt is more associated with accountability. Guilt says "You've made a mistake, but you don't need to really feel bad about it, you just need to recognize it, and change it."

I do not believe in telling people they are awful. They will feel worse, and they will do less hygiene then (because the reason they aren't or are "lazy" is because they don't feel very motivated to help themselves). I don't believe in making their problem worse, and making this world smellier and less healthy for them and for all of us.

I believe in telling people they are capable of change. It's not as hard as they think, but it's ok to struggle with it and be frustrated and they aren't a baby or childish if it feels that way. They are not awful, they are just out of balance. Yeah it can be hard at first, so you have to make a few changes at a time, and you do have to push yourself. But you are not some horrible creature, some horrible person who will always be horrible. You can be whoever you want to be. You want to be a clean, well-presented person? You sure can be. Make one change at a time. Change one habit, and try to keep up with it for a month. You'll fail sometimes. Try, try again. Once you succeed, add another. In a year, or two, you'll be an entirely different person.

Telling people they suck, they smell, and they just need to Google harder and see a therapist is not conducive to helping them. Which, when it comes to therapy, not everyone can afford it, it's difficult when talking to a stranger about your hygiene, and it doesn't always work because many therapists can be judgemental assholes who's techniques are not always guaranteed to work either. I can't Google for them, that's their responsibility. But I can show them the door, which is their responsibility to walk through. And how I say it, and what they read here on Reddit, is the difference between them feeling good, and taking action, and feeling like shit, and falling back down into their self-hating hole. People care about what other people have to say. It stings. Hard.

Anyone can change. But it takes feeling good, and having motivation to do good, to get up and go brush, go shower, and go change.

I'm not going to make people feel worse. Shame is a terrible motivator. It is likely to keep people right where they are: on the couch or in the bed, buried in their shame that they already have. They have enough shame as it is. They need to be uplifted and shown that the pathway to change is in front of them. But they need to feel good first. That's also their responsibility, but you bet my words that I choose will affect whether or not I make them feel like shit.

Your lack of compassion is wild.

Wh— why are you here…?

As a person who has suffered from depression from my earliest childhood memories I would like to add something. We have allowed “depression” to be a reason for not doing simple hygiene. Yes, when you’re depressed you don’t want to do it. But if you actually want some relief, there is nothing as instantly effective as bathing to help you feel better, at least temporarily. Laying in your own filth only makes it worse. Even if you can’t eat. Even if your energy is so low all you can do is get back in bed, take that shower and give yourself a fighting chance. People who allow their SO or children to just be filthy because of “depression” are doing them a disservice.

I have a friend who is a wonderful mother in most ways, but she has multiple young children and she doesn’t bathe them until things are critical. She says it’s too overwhelming to have to bathe so many kids, plus she has a swimming pool they’re in all summer. She says this cleans them well enough.

The oldest one started showering daily around puberty and the second oldest is a girl in elementary school who is very girlie and loves bath and hair products. Those two worked it out on their own, but her second youngest is six and autistic. I really wonder what’s going to happen with his hygiene as he ages. Maybe we’ll see him on this subreddit one day.

"Use sunscreen when it's hot."

That does not prevent a bad odor, so I'm not sure why it's on the list.

It depends on the person and the smell.

Clean and unclean can have a lot of variations.

But yeah, you need to speak about it or a person will never change. 

When I was in grade school (private - catholic) in 5th grade the girls and boys separated and the teacher taught all about the body and its functions as well as how to clean yourself and wearing deodorant. Has this part of education stopped now ?

How is using sunscreen when it’s hot a hygiene tip?

A lot of things can be found on Google. So then, should Reddit shut down according to you? If you don’t like this sub, feel free to skip it and not insult others here.

dude. youre being fucking mean. get a grip.

I'm learning to play the guitar.

Could not agree more but you have to remember that a lot of people are very unintelligent and things that are obvious to us are difficult to them. I agree it’s baffling but people are not all the same…

Over a Hundred comments and not one like. YTA and this one should have stayed in the drafts.

Yikes. Being seemingly so proud of being so uncaring and lacking empathy is one thing, but intentionally going to a subreddit about hygiene to be nasty to people who are struggling and seeking help is just next level. I hope you find what you need, but it’s not here so it would be best for everyone if you left.

I literally just got downvoted and called a fucking idiot because I said it was bad for women’s pelvic floor to pee standing up in the shower. People here a nasty and get upset when you’re not too

I think I get what you’re saying. It sort of comes across as “stop being lazy and depressed and go take a shower stinky” but if I’m reading this right what you actually mean is “why are you asking why you stink when you literally don’t bathe, what do you think the reason is?”

And I can agree with that. It seems like common sense would prevail here. Bathing makes you clean and smell nice. Not bathing means you are not clean and smell bad. Therefore to stop smelling bad you should get clean.

But it does seem that a baffling number of people don’t understand the correlation. There’s no secret. Literally just take a shower 🤷🏻‍♀️

I feel the same way. So I get it, but now I understand why the cure for covid was wash your hands. I'm shocked at how many people don't wash their bodies.

Honestly im right with you on this…i just cant wrap my brain around it. I know some people just werent ever taught hood hygiene, however when u become an adult, wouldnt human instincts kick in? If hands are dirty, everyone knows about washing hands. Wouldnt it be common sense to apply this same to the rest of ur body? Im wondering, people like this, when u do happen to get a bad odor, can u tell? Or is this maybe normal odor to you? Also My biggest apologies btw if i sound “harsh” or rude, I promise im genuinely curious about this myself…i just get very confused when i come across these topics, which is pretty much everyday. Thank u in advance

So do I. Maybe it's because I'm clean and wasn't taught how to shower. However from a young age I knew how to turn on water and get a bar of soap and my teeth I always obsessed over. It's a simple process which doesn't have to take more than 10 min. How you can't do that I don't get

My thing is the people who are perfectly fine but just enjoy being filthy and stinky, as a way to subjugate other people.