Hemorrhoid Anxiety- PLEASE HELP!!

Hey guys, looking for some talk therapy on this :/. I’m pretty sure I have keep getting Hemorrhoid. It’s been going of and on on several months and won’t stop. i don’t know what to do as my fear of going to get a colonoscopy/seeing a Dr. always out weighs my anxiety of not knowing (literally have 3 of the bottles they give you drink before you do the procedure and the day of I always canceled)

I am now coming up on 2 months clean from severe alcoholism & daily Kratom extract use. This, I think, is the cause of it. This is reoccurring and the last week months I wake up & go to sleep thinking about it.

Does anyone deal with this? How do I go about figuring out what I have?? Any insight? I know I need to see a Dr. and it’s on my goal list but I literally don’t know what to do with myself.

Any words of wisdom would be amazingly appreciated.

in hemorrhoidby Content_Anywhere1645

100%

11d

dtanimal

11d

You already know what you have to do. Get the colonoscopy it's not bad at all. You won't even remember it when you wake up.

Content_Anywhere1645

11d

Thanks buddy. Idk why I’m riddled with this fear. It’s the only thing I haven’t been able to work through. I am most worried about what I’m going to find out it is. Ultimately if it’s something “that serious” i need to be treating it :/. Thank you for taking the time to send encouragement. I will get it done.

One-Ninja-3650

11d

If it was something that serious you would be dead right… try to think positively and have confidence in yourself. You can do this! Be your own cheerleader. ✌🏻❤️

Content_Anywhere1645

11d

That’s not me being positive… that you Ninja all the love and good vibes sent to you.

Content_Anywhere1645

11d

Oh man, thank you so much! I love the Reddit community & honestly you guys have no idea how much this is carrying me through. It all has to do with me being a drug addict for the last 6-8 years. I’m only a month in and my body is torn up. I did get blood work done in March and there is no concern. But I am 35 lbs below my normal weight.

dtanimal

10d

No worries. I was nervous too when I got it done about 2 months ago. The hardest part is drinking the stuff because you have to drink so much liquid in a short amount of time (at least for me). Then you'll be pooping basically water out all night. Other than that the procedure itself is nothing to be afraid of. They sedate you and you instantly go to sleep and wake up like 20 mins later and forgot how you fell asleep lol.

I was nervous too, but after getting it done I felt like I could do it again haha. Most people will say the same thing about the drinking part being the worse because depending on what type they give you it could taste bad or thick, but luckily mine actually tasted pretty good.

Content_Anywhere1645

10d

Thank you for taking the time to share some words pal. I keep saying, and the more i do, the more it sounds ridiculous. I am just terrified of them telling my I’m going to need a Bag or something :/. I’m just expecting the worst. Therefore i haven’t ever followed through. It’s not getting better so i can to grow up and do something… until then ill keep reading y’all’s amazing and kind words ❤️

dtanimal

10d

Yea and at least doing it you will find out for sure that it's nothing besides hemorrhoids and not cancer or something. That would surely help ease some of your anxiety.

Content_Anywhere1645

10d

True! Thanks buddy. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope your day gets made like you made mine.

Candid_Camp1809

11d

Do you have a friend or even someone you can just text you through to get you to the appointment? I'm guessing your doctor is aware of your anxiety

Some of the first procedures I dealt with I had severe anxiety, but if I could get myself to the building, there was basically no turning back. So, I got someone to stay overnight with me and get me there, no matter how much talking I did. The doctor usually gave me a pretty hardcore antianxiety med (no the standard valium) to go with it, too. Other procedures I would manage to get to the appointment, and no anxiety med or anything, but I've had full on anxiety attacks in waiting rooms, parking lots, on the phone, in front of the doctor, etc. It's not fun, but if they can get the IV in, you're good to go

I think the thing to focus on is after. Give yourself something to look forward to *after* the appointment. I would essentially have my friend bribe me with something fun to do, to eat, to go buy, to go see a film, anything. And we'd also try to talk about anything except what was going on. Lots of distraction techniques. When you're on your own, it's very easy to go full on and sink yourself into the What If of everything

As for the prep of colonoscopy: this should, in theory, keep you pretty busy the night before. Get your phone, get a tablet, get cosy in the bathroom with some towels and a pillow you never want to see again, set up a nice shower/bath for after, play some video games, watch some shows, and hang out for a few hours while you deal with that chaos. Use a web blocker for reddit and medical sites if you have to and power through. Then clean yourself up and go pass out. If you have a friend to stay with you or someone to talk to overnight, even better - get them to help you stay distracted from everything, but on task for getting to where you gotta go

You *can* do it. It can be done. Even the worst of anxiety in this situation can be overcome

Content_Anywhere1645

11d

Oh my goodness. This just changed my entire day around, it really did. I can’t explain to you how much this raised my spirits. I have been at a total loss for the last year. After getting sober i realized I lost all my weight & muscle in active addiction. So my clothes don’t freaking fit, i look and feel terrible. AND on top of all that I spend every waking moment thinking that I have some form of cancer or life threatening disorder. I will not continue to dwell on the negative being you took the time to send such a heart felt response. I didn’t realize the drink they gave you the night before was that intense. I’m afraid my body won’t be able to handle that. I have really put it through the most extreme things, I am truthfully surprised I am still here.

I do have a huge support system, i am just dealing with this alone because those i love have been drug through the mud with me and my dope head behavior.

I have to do this. I have a 2 year old princess that I intend on giving the world too and I can’t do that if i am not healthy.

Thank you again for the amazing words I feel so much better. Now i just need to book the appointment:/

Candid_Camp1809

11d

Ah don't worry about the drink. They give it to little old ladies and all kinds of people (with some precautions). You'll manage. It's no fun and there's plenty of really bad humour out there about how awful it is (if that's your thing) but millions of people in all kinds of shape go through it. You'll be fine! It will suck in all the worst ways, but you'll be alright

I think when we're scared of getting better, we tend to try to go at alone because we're scared to disappoint - ourselves, other people. Nothing wrong with that. But you'll need them eventually. Better to start working on that earlier. They'll probably be happier to help with these things than later on if you leave it too long

I cope with a lot of things with either really dark humour or by doing this, reaching out to other people to try to make them feel better. It works tbh

I hope you make your next appointment. And if you don't try it again two weeks later. And get yourself a cookie or something. You're allowed

Tall_Maybe4024

Health anxiety, hell anxiety in general, was never something I dealt with until all of the sudden like two years ago it hit me like a ton of bricks. Now everything is a problem, and I can’t get my mind off of it. Therapy has helped some to at least be aware of it and occasionally refute it. Biggest help has been like giving myself a guideline. Like I’ll set up this appointment, but that’s it! Put the phone down and stop trying to self diagnose and just accept whatever the doc has to say. Easier said than done sometimes, but that’s what I try to do anyway. Think a big part of it is having a child or someone that depends on you. Feels like such a big deal to be around for them, and so you over react. Anyway, I’m sure it’s hemorrhoids, and there’s nothing to worry about, but get checked and just accept what the doc says and stop looking up shit. It feels like it helps for a minute but then you’re right back online looking again

Content_Anywhere1645

Wow!!!! I needed this you’re so awesome.

I did go get checked and have a colonoscopy set up in September.

I feel EXACTLY like you do buddy. The dr checked with this little plastic thing and said there was nothing to be concerned with but because of the length of my past addiction it’s smart to get checked. What’s bother me is the amount of pressure i still have when I go, so of course i looked in line and the fact it wasn’t noticed during the exam could either mean Im in the clear OR that I’m in really bad shape :/ UGHHHHH. But that you kindly for your method and insight you’re right. At the end of the day I have/going to do what the doc says, right? So what is what I am doing helping??

All the love to you and your health.

One-Ninja-3650

11d

I can fully understand your situation. I have had 3 colonoscopies, and they all went so smooth and I’m on a ton of other mental health meds. They use propofol, google it. Also for my most recent one there is no more terrible tasting drink. You just go to your local drug store or Amazon and buy Miralax and follow the instructions. They also have pills you can use. Please feel free to message me with any questions at all. Just so u know I’ve never had surgery or anything like that, so that is where my fear stemmed from. If all can go well with me trust me you will do great! Get the colonoscopy it’s not the same as it used to be. 😊💪🏻