I’m on medical leave till I have and recover from my laparoscopy scheduled for June 14th. Since the 21st of May I’ve been more or less bedridden and I’m losing my mind.
I had to take time off work because I physically couldn’t make it in and I couldn’t keep calling off. But it gets harder and harder everyday. I feel lazy and like crap everyday for not working or accomplishing much at all around the house.
But today has been a rough start to my morning. Woke up in pain to find my heated blanket doesn’t work anymore and this is all I have. I literally cannot get up to go grab my pills and my heating pad is tiny and is nowhere near as lovely nor efficient as this blanket.
Idk I just wanna cry. I feel so alone and sad and I’m so tired of hurting. I’m not even 21 and I’ve spent weeks just laying around hurting. Not saying you have to be a certain age to be in pain and I know pain always sucks, but being in so much pain so young feels like I’m being robbed.
I have a loving and supportive partner but he works full time and travels for work from time to time. He never hesitates to help me when I need it and when he’s home but Idk, it’s just hard being me right now I guess. I feel so needy and like I can’t do anything for myself.
I have pain and swelling in my ankles both legs and feet, my legs go numb when stretched a certain way, it hurts when I sit down too hard, hurts when I lay down wrong. Hurts when I urinate and defecate and as soon as I feel a bowel movement, if I am not quick it feels like I might not make it!!! (New symptom)
I’m just so sad and all I do is smoke cannabis to cope and play a game from my childhood to distract myself. And now my favorite blankie doesn’t even work and I can’t move.