I think I just want to commiserate about the ways in which our parents dismissed us emotionally. I feel a bit alone in this tonight, with some memories rearing their ugly heads, and want to share some stories and read some from others.
For example, I remember as a very small child, in maybe kindergarten or first grade, crying before school and telling my mother that I didn't want to be alive. Instead of caring why I felt that way, she snapped at me and told me that I was ungrateful for all the sacrifices that she and my dad made to give me a good life, and that I had nothing to feel this way about.
A few years later, maybe in 8th grade or so, I remember finally putting into words the way I'd been feeling for so long. I was so proud of myself for finding the right way to express it. My mom asked me why I was in bed in the middle of the day, suggesting that I should go to bed earlier if I was tired, and I said, "I'm not physically tired, I'm just emotionally exhausted." She thought that was so funny. Laughed SO hard. Told my dad who laughed too. "It only gets worse," they wanted me to know.
Any time I didn't want to go somewhere or do something with them (and who would, with their treatment?) they would call me a "wet blanket," as if I was purposely spoiling their fun rather than just expressing my own feelings on the activity. They would force me to go, and then poke at me for being unhappy the whole time, making exaggerated frowny faces at me to "mock" that I wasn't happy, and constantly reminding me that I was being the dreaded "wet blanket" of the family.
Any time I was upset, they loved to tell me that I was being dramatic, overreacting, that things weren't that bad. As a result, I don't trust myself, my judgement, my experiences, my emotions.
Anyone else have anything similar happen to them?