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I've experienced weight bias for decades. It does not get easier to deal with unintelligent doctors that only see your weight and blame every concern you have on your weight. Something I found on the internet that I've known for years is "Weight bias is when someone is treated differently because of their weight, and it's common in healthcare. It can lead to misdiagnosis, pain, depression, and other psychological distress. For example, doctors may not take patients seriously, attribute problems to higher body mass index (BMI) instead of an illness, or deny pain management treatment. Weight bias can also lead to shorter exams and less willingness to order tests, which could make it harder for doctors to detect serious problems. If you feel like your doctor is treating you with weight bias, you can try these strategies:
- Speak up If it happens during an appointment, try to speak up, even if it's difficult.
- Send a note If you can't speak up during an appointment, you can send a note to your doctor afterward, either by hand or through your portal. You can ask for a call back to discuss something personal, or write out your thoughts.
- Ask for a referral You can ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist who works with people who have larger bodies.
- Find community support You can try to find community support to help you push back against stigma.
- Use "people first language "When discussing your weight, try to use "people first language" and avoid stigmatizing terms like "obese person" or "morbid".
I personally never found any of the above suggestions to work, but, think of it this way; You are advocating for someone that is in need of help and is hurting and knows that something is going wrong in their body. This someone is YOU. If it were an older friend/relative, or child you would be livid and telling the doctor that you expect them to treat the entire patient and stop seeing just the weight issue. If you would advocate for someone else, you can do it for yourself.
The National Institute of Health estimates that over 40% of physicians had a negative reaction towards obese patients sighting: Associating obesity with negative traits like poor hygiene, dishonesty, and hostility.
- Viewing patients with obesity as unattractive, awkward, or ugly
- Having less respect for patients with obesity
- Falsely attributing health problems to weight
- Shaming discussions about weight
My suggestion to you is, take a day or so to feel sorry for yourself because perhaps no one else will, so fine. However, then you need to really think about this and say to yourself that you will be an advocate for yourself because you deserve to have medical care. You would go to bat for others, do it for yourself.
The very very very best of luck to you!
wow this is probably the best advice i’ve gotten on this aspect of my life.. or probably for anything ever. and yeah i have noticed the examples of weight bias you put as things that have happened to me. i guess im scared to speak up because i’ve had this doctor since i was a baby and well she’s a doctor so i don’t want to seem stupid suggesting something or questioning what she says. i guess its just gonna take time for me to get the courage, but for now i think ill make sure to be persistent on things and not give up asking after one failed attempt. thank you bunches for your reply, i don’t think i can quite express the amount of gratefulness i feel from it. 🩷🩷🩷
No need to be grateful, many many of us have been there and still are there with you - and we certainly can empathize. It sucks. It really does, but the next time you see your doctor keep telling yourself that you can do this. Be positive, don't be the victim. Say something like "hey, I know I have this weight problem, I've been dealing with it for x number of years, but I need you to believe me when I say there is something that is just not right with my body, and it's been going on for x number of days/weeks/months. First the pain started xxxx and now I have additional pain xxxx. Please, please, remember that your doctor is NOT better than you, and you certainly are NOT stupid. YOU are the one that knows something is wrong. If they knew that, then you both could move forward with a diagnosis and then treatment plan. If they can't or won't help you, you know that you tried, and maybe need to move on because they are no longer worth your time. Take care of yourself!
I honestly think you need to look at this objectively - the human body cannot withstand high weights. It is not meant to be under the amount of pressure that a 350lbs body would put on it. Biomechanically, it will mess up a lot of stuff. The knees are awful joints anyway, design wise, so add a mass amount of additional weight on top of it? Of course they're gonna suffer. It can and will lead to things like knee buckling, limited ability to move, etc.
Additionally, being obese does make it much more challenging diagnostically, a lot of the equipment used to scan people simply would be either impossible or very difficult to use on someone of your size. Whilst I do think it's a cop out to diagnose it as Fibromyalgia without doing testing, it is more difficult for someone like you.
There are other forms of exercise that can alleviate the stress on joints, swimming is probably your best option right now. It might also be worth getting in with a therapist and a dietician to manage the eating side of the equation, but also the depression side. Have you ever been assessed for an Eating Disorder? Quite often, when people get to your weight, it is a large component of the problem. None of this is meant with any hate. I myself have an Eating Disorder (Anorexia Nervosa) and I know the damage they can do to the human body.
And sure, you may be technically disabled right now, but if you're able to shift the weight, then there's a good chance you will regain mobility, etc. back, and will either be not disabled anymore or at least much less disabled. As someone else has said, it doesn't really matter as a label, what you need to focus on is getting your issues better managed.
Never feel self conscious. Go about your business as usual. Don’t be afraid to use a mobility aid if you need it.
Your arm joints could be hurting because you have to use your wrists and elbows and shoulders to push up out of chairs? Mine do :/ I would ask for PT for your most painful body part… they’ll refer you. If at the end of PT you are not feeling better, you can get an MRI done. I would do this over and over again on every body part that is painful. It’s what I’ve had to do 🤷🏻♀️
Weight bias is still so prevalent and a dangerous practice still. I saw a surgeon bc I had an issue with one of my arms and all he said, no looking at my tests or anything, that it was bc of my weight.
The next surgeon I saw looked at me like a real human being. I was very lucky my insurance at that time covered most of the cost bc it was a private hospital, and the fact my dad had the same surgeon bc he had the same problem.
You are in pain, being told that this is your fault, that you aren’t doing enough, and your mental health has started to become worse.
Honey, you are not lazy. This is not your fault. You are worthy of empathy and understanding and deserve to have someone who will advocate for you. You deserve to have doctors listen to you and help you, and see you as a real human being.
I‘m so sorry for all you’ve been through. It really makes me emotional bc I know how hard it is when ppl don’t believe you, or believe in you.
Your pain is valid. Your disability is valid, even if you don’t have a diagnosis bc it has impacted your life so much. You know it’s something and the doctors aren’t listening to you. That is how ppl die. Those drs are negligent.
Again, I’m so sorry for all of this— your physical and mental pain, ppl invalidating you, drs not listening— it takes such a toll on you. From someone who had the same troubles, I really hope the best for you 🫂❤️🩹
thank you really, hearing that it’s not all in my head and that i’m not alone helps so so much
I’m always happy to support ppl, especially ppl like us who don’t have others sticking up for us often. I’ve been where you are and it is hell. Please take care of yourself. Do you have a therapist you can talk to?
i’ve had therapists in the past, but both times it felt so awkward. they gave little to no feedback and one was usually looking at her phone for majority of the sessions.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. Some therapists should never had gotten a license.
i’m sorry you’re feeling dismissed by your doctors. while it is unpleasant that they automatically assume that any symptom is related to your weight, it’s also necessary for them to rule out any manageable causes, like weight, diet, vitamin deficiencies etc, before they can begin looking for less common causes. if it is possible that your symptoms can be cured by changes to lifestyle, you should give it a chance and not simply assume it’s a permanent disability. i know it must feel horrible to be told, but i also know that if i were given advice that might actually be a cure to my illness, i would try it
as another commenter suggested, could you look into low impact exercise and see if your doctor would refer you to a dietician? if you show you are willing to cooperate with them then they will be more likely to refer you for further testing than if you dismiss them 💜
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3d
i didn’t mean to get ON disability i meant like to call myself disabled in general
Yes. I didn't read it tbh but if you're asking the answer is yes. Abled people don't worry about this shit.
I don't understand this question. Why are you concerned about calling yourself disabled or not? That isn't going to make any difference to your symptoms or treatment. It's really inconsequential and is just a social lable. Don't worry about a shiny lable, it's useless.
If I was you, I would worry less about that, and more about finding a clinican who will listen to you. In regards to exercise, how are you with swimming? Can you do so without feeling light headed? Or potentially a stationary bike at the gym. There are both low impact so good for people who are heavier.
Also yeah, you are right, your weight does unfortunately complicate the situation. Weight, when it gets to the more severe end, can have lots of really weird and detrimental health implications. It's likely they will need you to lose some weight before they can rule of other things. Paraesthesia, like you described, is quite common with excessive weight gain due to poor circulation and / or diabetes. Get these things ruled out first.