My husband just confessed that he has been lying to me about our finances for the last two years.
I know I should have been involved in the finances and not assuming he has it covered, but it's too late for that now. Please don't shame me, I already feel awful about dropping the ball and I'm beating myself up pretty bad.
I would love to talk to a professional about our finances but I really don't want someone pushing a debt consolidation program because I'm afraid of being taken advantage of. I don't know where to look for someone legit who could help.
Details of our situation:
We own a home, we owe about $280k. The house needs major repairs - it needs a new HVAC system (we're in FL), it needs major plumbing work, and there's a mystery leak somewhere that has our water bill super high. Needs a new roof, too. We can't afford to make these repairs, we're preparing to sell the house. Our real estate agent said as is, we could probably sell it to an investor for $280k. If these repairs were made, we could sell it for $350k.
We were planning on moving us and our four kids north to help out my chronically ill mother, her health is failing and she needs help. Our plan was to move into our RV and live in that. We've been trying to fix it up, it's not currently habitable. We have two dogs and three cats, so finding an apartment would be next to impossible if we kept the pets (our kids would never forgive us if we had to rehome them).
Here's a brief overview of the rest of our finances. This is according to my husband, I have yet to verify all of this but I'm working my way through it.
Minivan - we owe $11k on it, monthly payment is $470, it's not drivable because it needs a new engine ($7k? repair).
Car 1 - only working vehicle for 4 adults and 2 minors, $320 a month payment. Idk how much we owe on it.
RV - we owe $10k, it's in collections and would be repo'd if they knew where it was.
Car 2 - my husband failed to insure this car and my kid totaled it. We owe $16k on it and that's also gone to collections. My kid, since he was at fault, is on the hook for $26k for the car he hit. We need to call a lawyer to deal with this, but I can't make my kid pay for it, it's his father's fault the car wasn't insured.
Truck - we owe $13k on it, I think that has also gone to collections. It's also in the shop getting fixed, at least $600 repair but maybe more. We need the truck if we can keep the RV, that's how we tow it.
Personal Loan - we owe $1400 and it's in collections.
Another personal loan or card - I don't know, maybe $5k? In collections.
My husband just did the taxes and we owe $9k.
Oh, my daughter was just diagnosed with Crohns and even though we have insurance, we've got about $3.5k in hospital bills.. thankfully they'll probably allow us to set up a payment plan.
My husband's take-home pay is about $6k per month. I'm self employed and make about $4k a month, but that's before taxes. I've got about $6.6k in my separate bank account that will hopefully cover the minivan repair.
I don't know if we should declare bankruptcy or if I should call each of these creditors and cry and beg for help or what. Very few of these things are in my name.. the RV and the one car that works. So that complicates me negotiating with the creditors. Obviously I can't trust my husband to do it though. If he declares bankruptcy, though, won't they take the RV? Then that would leave us without a place to live without having to get rid of our pets. Please don't give me too hard a time about the pets.. it's not my kids' fault their dad fucked up so badly, I really don't want to punish them by taking away their pets.
I'm just.. beside myself. It feels like my life is imploding.