What do you think when someone has a messy car?

My car always has some amount of carbage rolling around and I basically never go to the car wash. My home is very neat and clean. I take pride in my appearance and have good hygiene. I get all of the regular maintenance for my car. For some reason, I just can’t seem to prioritize keeping it clean and have been this way a long time. I receive plenty of judgement for it and rightfully so.

How messy are we talking? Some crumbs and small stuff tracked in from outside isn't a big deal. I have a dog, and it's hard to keep my car as clean as it was pre-dog, just with all his hair. I'd be much more judgmental if they aren't doing regular maintenance to keep the car safe and running correctly. I wouldn't ride in a car like that just for safety.

Women love it when you lean over from the driver’s side, pop open the passenger door and are like ‘just move that stuff out of the way’.

And yes, the week old McDonald’s bag stays rattling around in the backseat.

I think, well, they are like me, they have 5 million things to take care of and the inside of their car is on the lower end of their priority list

No opinion, I would consider this a nitpick personally

Could be so many things.

1 - Laziness

2 - Their work or hobby is "dirty" (my truck floor is always collecting dirt because I am outside in the mud often)

3- Pets

4 - Where they live. I also live in an apartment so its not like I have a garage with a vaccum and the a hose at the house to clean all the time. Sure I can drive to a car wash, but I am not doing that weekly. Time is money and money is time. But I would do it before a date.

I have come to find women with messy cars are the best lovers. The messier the better, honestly.

I don't really care all that much. Now if there's actual dirt on the seats/armrests, to where it's going to dirty up my clothes, then yeah, I would mention something. Maybe if there are cups and trash strewn about too.
It's not a deal breaker as long as they clean it up before I ride again.

How messy? There are 2 kinds of messy.

• I'm too busy to clean kind of mess
• I'm loving in my car kind of mess
• the last one: this person is severely mentally ill messy

1. Dirty/muddy outside? Sounds fun, maybe they like camping.

2. Minimal clutter inside? Unlikely an issue.

3. Enough clutter inside that it's hard to sit down? I'm cautious.

4. Trash that smells? I'm probably out. Not for me.

I try not to judge I’ve learned that if I let my own hang ups set a tone I might miss someone or something special I myself used to be ocd Amal retentive about everything being in it’s place and a place for everything and now at 45 dealing with much stress ptsd and depression due to losing everything and everyone time and time again I’m a mess and couldn’t care more less but if someone took the time they might see someone interesting and a eccentric but completely f one of a kind and maybe I could still have that neat and organized guy in there but he’s definitely hiding

Unless it looks and smells like they’ve been living in their car for a year, it very likely wouldn’t be something I’d even pay any attention to.    

Combined with living in a city that sits on the coast of a large body of water, with multiple different public beaches, one that also gets a bunch of rain in the spring and early summer and can take a couple of days for streets and sidewalks to fully drain, everyone’s floorboards are gonna be in varying shades of dirty. 

I feel personally attacked....

Our car is a bit dirty but our house is neat.

I try to keep my car clean 80% of the time. But dirt from my driveway comes on my shoes then into my car. If I knew someone was coming into my car I would definitely make sure it’s presentable. However my car is not gross.

I'm a clean dude, but I live on a dirt road and park in a dirt driveway and carry beach crap, paddle board etc, and up until not that long ago, had a dog who loved car rides, plus I work from home, so I'm not in my car all the time.

All that to say, there's no way to keep the damn thing clean for more than a week at a time. There's always sand, pine needles and leaves showing up inside, and dust from the dirt road outside. 

I will say, it's not cluttered though, and I don't just throw garbage on the floor, that's gross.

I hate the expression "ick", but that happened to me recently and got the ick from her having takeout leftovers from the night before on the backseat.

Don't judge a car by dirt on the outside. I can go through the car wash one day, and then the next it is muddy again. Happens a lot on country roads.

Depends on the dirt. - debris from the outside that comes from tracking in dort leaves or whatever - no big deal - trash that has accumulated from several days or more of takeout or coffee or whatever - iffy - random stuff like umbrellas, jackets, boxes of tissues, amazon returns - no big deal

I don't care. I have a messy car.

Unless it is extremely gross, I don't care at all.

Depends on the level of dirty. If it’s what you described no big deal. I once dated a women fora few weeks and things were going ok till I saw her car. Dirty isn’t the word. It had fast food bags dozens of them. Some had actual rotting food in them. I was disgusted, and it was pretty much the end of the relationship.

The inside of my car is immaculate! The outside of my car is banged up to high heavens. It is my little trade off.

I think it's gross. Also makes me think what else is messy

Depends on just how bad…. Although if I have to move things to even fit it gets a bit gross for me

People have different standards for cleanliness and those can be a part of compatibility. We judge each other for everything else, so I don’t see why a car interior should be an exception. I don’t really care about a clean car, personally, but there’s a limit. My car is kind of dirty and maybe that’s someone else’s limit.

So I use my car for work in maintenance. Normally have rear seats folded down for transport etc. And random debris from work. I mostly tidy it up in 5 mins and it looks fine. Except my weather mat on my side is always dirty because I hop in and out of mud all day. Rest of its clean

Oh man, this post makes me feel like I need to clean my car.

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My car goes down gravel roads frequently, and houses a lot of my skiing and hiking gear. So it’s pretty dirty a lot of the time. I’ve never gotten a negative comment on it. My type is men who are also very into the outdoors and are often blue collar, so they tend to have trucks that are dirty. There’s a big difference between literal dirt, like from muddy hiking boots, vs. trash. The former I don’t blink at, the latter is a yellow-to-red-ish flag depending on how bad it is. If your car is dirty because it’s used functionally, that’s very different from dirty because you can’t be bothered to clean up after yourself.

Dirty doesn’t bother but trash would. Like if I have to move the trash off the seat or step on garbage I’ll get the ick. But dirt doesn’t bother me. My car is very dirty, I keep some of my camping and hiking essentials in the back seat and a dog bed in the very back.

Maybe I’m lazy but I just don’t care to spend money on cleaning my car. And since I live in a condo with no garage I would have to go to a car wash to do that level of cleaning.

I live in a rural area with lots of unpaved roads and it rains frequently. I can wash my car, but as soon as I drive down my street once it’s got road grime splatter on it. Let alone for a week.

Also people are really into hiking, beach walks, etc here. I get sand and mud in my car floor all the time. I’m not going to constantly wash and vacuum my car to keep it clean, that’s ridiculous.

My car is well maintained and always tidy, I never leave stuff in my car like trash or boxes or a jacket etc. But other people like to leave things in their car for convenience.

I don’t judge as long as a car is not gross or crammed full of stuff.

I’m more concerned about what my date’s bathroom or kitchen is like.

Gross. I grew up with a very ocd dad, esp about his car. He detailed his car with every wash. It took him 1/2 day to wash it. Im not as bad as he was but it is rarely messy. My husband’s though. There were times i refused to sit in it

I keep my car fairly clean so yea, I would judge the person. I like neat/clean people in general so someone with a messy house or car is not for me. If it looks like the person just came from a trip the day before and just haven't managed to vacuum or clean yet, then that's fine, but if it looks like it's been there for a while, then no

Yes, especially if they have children

Unless it's cluttered with trash and food/beverage bits, I don't notice because my car is messy too. 🤷🏽‍♀️

I don’t drive but getting into someone’s car at all skeeves me out so a dirty one wouldn’t be for me.

I have an old car that's mostly used to carrying stuff around. I don't care about how clean it is (my home is spotless tho).

I generally don't judge anyone's car, I can barely tell cars apart (you know that disease where you can't tell faces apart? I like to say I have the same thing for cars). I don't live in a place where having a car is super common (maybe less than half my friends have cars) so just having a car in general is already very nice. I don't mind messiness at all, if it doesn't smell/stick/is evidence of illegal activity.

I'm also a messy/cluttered person in general, but I try to keep things in my home relatively clean (I've definitely seen far worse messes than my apartment), so I don't feel like I'm in a place to judge others.

My car is a mess but I’m single and not even really looking to date. I also have dirty wet dogs in it all the time. If I was going to pick a date up in it I would probably clean it though.

I haven't had a bf with a car in a decade.

I wouldn't judge the mess.

I think it depends. A little mess that’s less than a hours worth of work is fine. But my ex…smh his car was ransacked and I honestly couldn’t tell the difference.

This translated into his apartment being messy and unkept. Add in the two mastiffs and it’s a nightmare that’s steadily on the horizon.

I usually think that they probably have kids. Not that my car was much cleaner before 😬

In my first ever relationship with my ex he had the messiest car I’ve ever seen in my life; even ‘til today. All kind of clothes being strewn about in the backseat, with garbage being thrown back there as if it was an actual trash can. Being very young and naive I ignored this red flag. Knowing what I know now? Never again.

I wonder about this myself…I currently have a minivan, and I drywall for a living…so the back always has tools, and then my sons car seat is in the middle row, I try to keep the front clear of garbage and whatnot but it’s not like my van is usually clean clean ya know? In another year or so I plan on having two vehicles, and that will definitely make a difference but that’s not where I am right now.

If it’s my parents’ car, I would understand it. If it is the car of someone I date, nope. Lol. My ex was the best when it comes to his car and everything related to hygiene in general. His car is probably the cleanest I’ve seen so far and I loved how he cares so much about it that it was never dirty. I am generally a clean person too so I really think dirty cars are gross.

Day to day, my car is messy. There's usually a bag of trash, some spare clothes, random hair accessories, etc rolling around, plus I vacuum like twice a year. But when I know I am giving someone a ride (or potentially will be giving a ride) I do a quick clean out. There's nothing in the passenger seat, trash is thrown out, any spare jackets or umbrellas are thrown in a tote in the trunk. I figure that's what I'd expect of a date, so I should do it too. I don't really care about sand or leaves or whatever on the floor...

I see the state of someone’s car and house as a reflection of their mental health. This hasn’t let me down yet.

nothing. i don’t give a damn. and i don’t prescribe stereotypes for someone who has “a messy car”

like wtf?

I think "oh good, I'm not the only one."

Car wash is meh whatever to me. Inside I evaluate based on what I know about that person. If it's a couple with young kids I don't care at all because those parents are probably going through hell. But for everyday people I do expect some level of cleanliness because usually it's just you and maybe an SO using a car.

I think part of it is what exactly is in the car. Like is it messy, documents that would be wiser stored elsewhere or a biohazard?

Also, what do they use their car for? Some people work from their cars and as a result tend to have messier cars vs someone who does or someone who has multiple cars for varied purposes. Home care workers generally tend to have messier cars like home hospice, home health, etc. they work and live in their car for the majority of their day and need to have certain personal and work related items in there and aren’t always keeping it tidy bc they are running like their ass is on fire trying to see all their patients timely. For them there will be food wrappers from snacks and lunch, sometimes binders or non-patient identifying paperwork, medical supplies, even things like deodorant, make up, spare scrubs/shoes etc.

Tbh I’m more concerned with what kind of mess/stuff is in there, why. Also I more want to know how their home is kept.

I automatically assume their home (or bedroom if sharing with roommates) is also disgusting. And they probably don't wash their body thoroughly either, so i wouldn't have sex with them

I would not care at all if the car is a little dirty. If it’s full of trash, then that would turn me off a little bit.

I love it when I get in a guys lived in car, my own is notoriously disgusting

Hm that's kind of me. I feel ashamed about it but it's never gross gross. Also it's something people wouldn't expect by looking at me. I feel like it comes from growing up really closely with siblings and literally until I turned 18 I never had to clean by myself. Cleaning was a team effort, so I never really got used to cleaning alone. That and I may let some things go like my car because I have so much on my plate.

I did one time go inside a guys car and the entire floor was covered with trash and hundreds of soda cans.. i did get scared cause that's mentally ill messh

My car looks like my kids and I live in it 🤣 so I'd just think that they're living life 🤷🏾‍♀️

If it doesn't impact functionality, nothing.

"just like me"....

I don’t really use it as a gauge because pretty much every guy I’ve dated has routinely had trash they’ve had to chuck in the back when I get in the passenger seat, and really it’s been for various reasons. My car is pretty immaculate, but my dad is a big car guy and would be super disappointed in me if it were anything less.

Why don't you stop assuming and just politely ask them. They might surprise you.

I love when a man has a clean car, and also cleans mine. My house is spotless, but my car can turn into a purse pretty quick. I am a parent so it is what it is. I do my best! But I would be ick if a guys car was usually dirty. One of the few double standards I guess.

As a law student, who is also a mom to a tween and a dog, and have to trek all over my county for my work and school and daughters’ sports I can tell you I genuinely do not have time to clean the interior of my car (I post on Reddit instead hahaha) I don’t like trash so I do make sure to take that out every time I exit but I’m often eating between work and internship while driving (I know I know) and so spillage is often part of the landscape. Additionally, I’ve become a master of deflecting the mess off my clothes and onto the floor or center area of the car. If someone I’m dating judges me for this - I judge them back. Instead of criticizing the level of cleanliness maybe help me out? One of my best friends’ boyfriend hated seeing her car messy and dirty so said boyfriend took it to get cleaned once a week as an act of kindness and helpfulness but also a little bit selfish in that the boyfriend didn’t want to ride in a dirty car. Win-win all around. Personally, if my boyfriend did this for me I would not only be over the moon, but I’d make sure I incorporated something extra meaningful to them as well.

I’d most likely assume it’s a bit of their life they don’t think about much. That’s what my car is like, only use it briefly and don’t look at it the rest of the time. Out of sight out of mind.

My car doesn’t have trash or really anything in it besides a car seat and a blanket. It hasn’t been washed or vacuumed in a while. I’m not dirty but incredibly busy. I think the car seat says that though.

I run a business where I carry gear back and forth, sometimes long distances or frequently enough that it’s not worth unloading/reloading the car constantly. My back seat is always down flat and it’s full of boxes, gear, and tables/chairs. It’s a hatchback so there’s no trunk to hide it.

Front seat cupholders hold my adhd beverages so they’re always full. Passenger seat holds my purse, groceries, etc. There’s an accessible trash can tucked between the front and back seat. I also live in a place where there’s either mud, rain, or snow most of the year. There’s no point in cleaning it constantly.

My car literally can’t fit anyone else 90% of the time but it’s not dirty, if that makes sense.

I'm okay with sand and dirt inside the car, within reason.

When you're talking piles of rubbish, ciggie butts, old food, and ash, no thanks.

Depends what kind of mess.

If it's full of camping and outdoor gear, and there's dirt everywhere that means they're actually using the car for a purpose. No problem whatsoever unless we're supposed to go somewhere nice in fancy clothes.

If it's full of garbage I'm going to think they're a dirt ass.

If it is a shitty commuter car then who cares.

Farm car. So much dirt and dust it gets pointless cleaning it every day. At least that's my first thought

I don’t know that I care as much about cars but have often thought the best dating app screener would be demanding an immediate picture of their living space. Never dating a man who can’t clean up after himself again.

Yeah wouldnt be good look for me. If however they kept their place clean and themselves then id put it down to the fact not many ppl take care of their cars seemingly

I keep mine dirty so people don’t ask me for rides 🤷🏻‍♀️

Depends on the type of “dirty.” If there is old garbage and trash everywhere and it’s genuinely disgusting I might make a note of it. But just not clean? No.

I would consider myself an organized and tidy person but my car is always kind of dusty with rocks and dirt because I spend a lot of time hiking and doing outdoor activities. Keeping my car clean even half of the time would be insanely time consuming just for it to get dirty again one day later.

But I have mad respect for people who do manage to keep their car neat and clean all of the time.

I'd judge what they had as a car more than the mess in it. Unless it's something I like alot then it would seem disrespectful to treat a nice car/usually truck that way. One of the hottest things I ever saw was a woman who I was meeting up with for a date for the first time and she pulls up in a lifted f450 with a sweet diesel whistle, it was almost as big and loud as my trucks. I was very impressed until I learned she hated the truck and took it from her ex husband in their divorce. Two red flags and there was no date #2.

I play beach volleyball. Sand and water bottles in the car is inevitable.

My car isn’t very clean because I hike and camp. I don’t wash it outside to keep the “urban camo” to prevent break ins. I also can’t afford a high end car. It gets me where I want to go. I don’t tend to judge people on their cars. It would have to be pretty gross for me to care.

Tell them we'll take my car instead.

I take pride in keeping my car clean.

Depends how messy. I don't think I've ever been in a car so messy that it horrified me or even bothered me much. I'd be bothered if the car had rotting food in it, or someone's dog had pooped in the car and it wasn't cleaned up, or if it looked like the car was occupied by someone with an actual clinical hoarding disorder.

Usually I just think, "How nice of this person to give me a ride."

Ngl, I usually have a little bit of trash in the car for safety. I’ve noticed that if I have cans or a few crumpled papers on my floor, people don’t break my window and go searching. If I have a clean car, that’s when my window is smashed. Yay, city living!

I almost never go to car wash but I’m generally a tidy and neat person. I don’t want to spend the money and my car is old. It’s pretty clean inside though!

I personally have a clean car always. Only time its muddy is when i go for a hike or a long walk and dont feel like getting it cleaned yet. I have no clutter, no rubbish, its all clean and only have my lipstick, sunglasses, water, charger in there. Also, i dont let people eat in my car either.

That said...because i keep a clean car, dirty , messy cars are a put off. Because then i imagine someones house and how messy and dirty that is or their kitchen. Also, it doesnt take much to hoover or tidy up yourself if its expensive to clean it professionaly. Cause it is expensive. So yeah i would totally maybe even refuse to sit in there depending how dirty it is.

I drive a 20 year old suv with 142000 miles on it. I collect all of my Goodwill collections in it for months before I take them in. I gets vacuumed once or twice a year, wheather it needs it or not. The same for washes. I call it the War Wagon. All of my friends drive fancy foreign cars, but mine drives so good, I’ll probably be buried in it . Hey, if it’s good enough for Jimmy Hoffa, it’s good enough for me! I do have a lovely Walmart bag for all of my used Kleenex, though:)

I think that people with messy cars are incredibly sexy, fabulous cooks, delightful company, always smell so good, hard workers, kind, clever.

Probably too busy but no excuse if it's always like that.

I want to clean it :)

They have a car, they can afford to put gas in, and pay the insurance. They make more $ than me, they must have a second job.

Honestly, when I hop into someone's messy car for the first time, I don't really judge. I mean, who hasn't let things pile up a bit, right? Sure, a tidy car is nice, but it's not like it says everything about a person.

Maybe they've been caught up with a million other things, or they just have more important stuff to worry about. I've got friends who are total neat freaks in their house but their car looks like a mobile landfill – doesn't change how I see them. Life's messy sometimes, and if a dirty car is the worst of it, I'd say they're doing alright. Plus, it just means there's less pressure for me to keep my own ride spotless!

My car was only spotless when I was an Uber driver. If they have kids I expect mess. As long as it doesn’t seem downright nasty I don’t really care.

I have never been in a woman's car but I say I try to keep clutter in the trunk if I know there's a chance of her being in the car....at most i have like umbrella or a coat in the back seats. I don't wash my car much i guess i probably should? but then again pretty much 99% of people i dated have their own car and few ever took offer on riding in my car since we live "far" enough that it is just inconvenient for me to pick them up.

It has been my experience that a persons car emulates their life. I have to see their car before I get involved with them. Ladies who keep a clean car/truck are very rare.

I think the guy I'm dating might have been surprised by my car the first time he saw it, but he doesn't hold it against me. We just have different priorities. He bought a new-ish car recently and puts effort into keeping it nice. I drive an old beater in a major city, and not very frequently. I maintain it to the extent that it drives safely, and I never leave trash or food inside, but I put no "extra" effort into making it look nice. It's got dents and scratches, and hasn't been washed or vacuumed in years. Needless to say, he drives us most places when we're together and that works out just fine 🙂

Their "parts" probably smell...

Doesn’t matter to me. I’m pretty messy but as I’ve gotten older I try to be cleaner about it. As long as I’m not living in their car, it’s whatever. I have adhd lol so I guess I empathize with overwhelm and executive dysfunction

They are in their car a lot of the time or don't have many people come in their car. I'm obsessed with the new car smell and leather so I keep my car like it was driven off the lot, but I'm obsessed so...

Oddly enough, I think it's a mild turn-on for me. In my eyes, these people are typically easier going, which I find attractive.

I grew up riding in some family member's cars where your feet couldn't find the floor... I don't like that, but I can deal with it if I like the person enough.

I wash my truck once a week (good membership deal) but it's been months since I've vacuumed/detailed the inside. I work in construction, if I cleaned the interior every week I would go insane. So I don't judge someone who feels the same.

I think poorly of them. Your car is effectively your second home in a lot of cases, and I have personally refused to get into cars that have a lot of garbage in them because sorry not sorry, I'm not going to risk having a roach crawl on me just because you can't be damned to take 5 minutes out of your day once a week to pick up after yourself.

A lot of people only see their garbage, they're not thinking about the bugs, mold and other issues that garbage can bring/attract.

I’ve only been driving for two years but I cannot stand mess in or outside my car. I’ve just finished working on a community uni placement and it was an experience jumping into different colleagues cars. Every one of them apologised before I got in, I can imagine they just get used to it and it builds up.

I’m too new to driving to understand it but I can say if a guys car was as clean as mine I’d deffo snog him on the first date lol.

That it’s not a priority to them. My car is a regular mess lol.

Immediate loss of attraction. In my opinion, it says a lot about a person.

They are indecisive OR can’t be bothered with details

If there is actual garbage, then I consider it a red flag. I recognize that this is an over the top type of thing to have as a red flag, but any dude I ever dated who had a car full of garbage also had a home that wasn't clean. Some clutter is fine, but I'm talking like bed sheets and bath towels never washed, bathroom never cleaned, dirty kitchen, and usually poor personal hygiene. If I had listened to my gut of, "ew, gross car, no thanks" I would have saved myself a lot of hassle, lol. Thankfully my standards are better now.

Clutter is different. I can handle clutter, as long as I can sit in the front seat without worrying about stepping on things or having to twist my body around in order to accommodate whatever is in the car.

It means you are busy, Or poor, or work hard, or a slob. Can be for many diff reasons so hard to judge

Im a medical student and sometimes i dont have time to clean up my car but mind you its just change of clothing in the back corner because i do a lot of long hours but if its like that for months you might want to bring it up.

I honestly HATE it and gives me a good idea on how clean they are at home too.  I vacuum and wash my car at least once a week.  I have an electric car, so when I'm charging it I use that time to wipe down the inside of my car and clean up any of my teens trash.  I also use that time to organize my car.  But the last 2 guys I dated their cars were not my kind of clean and their homes were the same way.  It grossed me out actually.  But it is crazy how my home and car was cleaner than theirs and I have 2 kids and a dog.

It's easier for me to keep my car clean when I'm seeing someone than when i am single tbh

How they do 1 thing is how they do all things. I wouldn't like it and in dating, I likely wouldn't talk to them again.

I don’t think anything lol

Absolutely not! If his car is messy what else is messy in his life? His home, finances what else?

The comments in this post gave me so much shame, but also a much needed kick in the a$$. I always say that shame is an excellent motivator.

Last night I spent over an hour deep cleaning/vacuuming my filthy Hyundai Elantra and it looks glorious!

Thank you, Reddit for showing me the path of what is right and good for my personal and dating life.

It more so makes me concerned that they didn’t clean it up a bit for me 😅

I have a mental distinction between the car floor, the rest of the car interior, and my house/other living areas. I don't keep the stoop outside my front door perfectly clean of all dirt and pebbles because that's the outside--you put your outside shoes on it. Same thing with the car floor. To me, car floor is meant to get dirty (with road debris like dirt and pebbles, not food and stuff). Car trunk is kind of a gray area. Rest of the car interior shouldn't be dirty or filled with crap. House and other living areas shouldn't be dirty or filled with crap.

I do find that the level of dirt in the non-floor interior of someone's car typically reflects the level of dirt you'll find in their home. I just don't really count the floor, when judging my car or someone else's.

If the car is messy their life is likely to be messy. But I'm talking trash, old magazines, clothes, etc. If it's just dirt and dust from using the car and not regularly vacuuming it etc that's not a big deal to me.

Side story....one time I was dating this girl and when I got in her car it smelled kinda like trash. The car was messy but not terrible and I couldn't see anything that would cause the smell. A week later I get in and it fucking wreaksssss! I decide to investigate. Finally make it to the trunk and there's a fucning bag of dog shit, picked up on a walk and forgotten for at least that whole week. How she dealt with the smell for so long I will never understand.

I don't think about it too much, but food garbage is kind of gross to leave in your car. You can just pick it up and take it inside with you when you get home.