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r/copypasta•1.1M subscribers•69 active

hey chat new “no literal erotica” rule!!! so please stop posting it!nsfwmod favorite 😫🤯

hey guys,

yeah the title is kinda self-explanatory, i’m just gonna be removing posts that are just literal erotica and/or doesn’t really fit the spirit of copypasta. sexual/NSFW posts are still fine, but if the copypasta is something you’d find off of AO3 or something then it’s getting removed.

when in doubt, consider the question “where the hell am i gonna paste this?”

adios,

tyrant-in-chief u/Derpster3000

edit: just to clarify a bit, when I say “erotica” i mean those really weird incest/underage posts where it’s those shitty “i, M15, desire my dad” type posts. I’m not really going to enforce this rule heavily unless it’s really weird shit.

by Derpster3000Head of Religious Affairs and Spending

1.4K

223

7mo

This subreddit has gone to shitMOD’S MOST DESPISED

There used to be structure to this shit, a routine, even. There was funny shit that you could paste into game lobbies or send to your friends and shit. There were relevant copypastas that might be fun to paste into the middle of a Twitter argument or to use when someone brought up a shitty video game you didn't like.

Now this shit isn't even copy pasteable shit any more. Every other post is either fucking "look at this dumb fucking post I found on r/teenagers" or "r/aita but it's outlandish so it's funny" or "let me describe in detail how horny I was for this one person this one time (OC btw yeah I'm so horny)"

What even the fuck is this anymore? Do people even care? Is everyone on this reddit fucking 12 years old?

I miss cummy.

by ScaryRezzy

202

I caught my son humping his phone.nsfw

I caught my son humping his phone for the 1st time. I'm a single parent father and one day, I heard the bed shaking in my sons room. I thought my son was using his bed as a trampoline, but I went in the room to tell him to stop. However I did not expect him to be fucking his phone, buttnaked in bed. I was so shocked, I yelled at him when I saw it. But when I pushed him aside and saw his screen, I saw his nut, and the phone was cracks. But most importantly: a big oiled up man. I was amazed by my son, "Son! Let me join you." so we started slashing his phone with our cocks like a sword. We did not notice but It was now 2am and we were still doing indecent acts to his phone. I did a thrust so hard: it shattered his phone into a million pieces. We all cried so hard after this, this was the worst part. So I got my phone. And printed a image of a buff black man. We stuck it in that thing until we passed out. The end.

by AnotherFourOnLava

513

12h

Would you guys consider jacking off to be a sport?nsfwTrigger Warning

Would you guys consider jacking off to be a sport? I dont know about you motherfuckers but I consider that shit to be a sport, okay. If people can sit back and label god damn golf which is boringest fucking sport in the world a god damn sport, if you can label that shit as a sport, if you can label god damn fishing as a sport, I know damn well you can label jacking off a sport, think about it, what the fuck athletically are you really doing in golf.

by Nuggetz247

10h

Do zombies have a sex drive?nsfw

Yes. I would say zombies have a sex drive. As evidence I would cite Day of the Dead: Bloodline which has a horny pervert stalker zombie. Another example would be the tampon sniffing stalker zombie in It Stains The Sands Red. Or the twitterpaited zombie in love in Warm Bodies. Or the sex crazed zombie ladies of Doghouse.

In fact its quite possible the zombie disease itself might be an STD, as in Contracted I and II and in Zombie Porn Stars.

by FraxPL

Project 2025 goals translated so that conservatives can understand

-The government won’t allow you to get an abortion even if giving birth would kill you (p.449 - 503)

-The government won’t let you buy condoms or plan b (p.449)

-The government will give more free money to the ultra-rich and the largest corporations (p.691)

-The government will not allow for workers to be protected at work (p.581)

-The government will steal your social security (p.691)

-The government will take away Medicare (p.449)

-The government will not let you find affordable healthcare (p.449)

-The government will refuse to help educate our children (p.319)

-The government will give your tax money to private schools for christians (p.319)

-The government will force public schools to become religious schools for christians (p.319)

-The government will fire you for the color of your skin (p545 - 581)

-The government will tell you what you’re allowed to think (p319)

-The government will sell our land to be permanently destroyed (p417)

-The government will sell the arctic to oil companies (p363)

-Big business and oil will be allowed to do whatever they want without consequences (p.363)

-The government will tell you what a family is supposed to look like. Anything else is a crime. (p.545 - 581)

-The government will make us deaf/blind to attack by destroying the FBI and Homeland Security (p.133)

-The government will build concentration camps to get rid of anyone deemed un-American (p.133)

-If you’re born in the United States you are not automatically a citizen (p.133)

-The government will make it legal for food to be poison (p.363 - 417)

Claims without citation:

-The government will not let you get a divorce without “proof” of wrongdoing

-Your taxes will go up

-The government will not let you retire

-Drugs will cost more

-The government will let your kids go hungry while they are forced to attend these schools

-The government will tell you what you’re allowed to read and burn the rest

-The government will freely kill citizens they disagree with

-The government will attack single mothers because that’s not a “traditional” family

-The government will order our active-duty military to attack us if we protest

-The government will make being muslim on American soil a crime

-The government will make sure all judges are more loyal to the party than they are to the country

Credit goes to u/1371CE for writing this

by copenhagen_bram

141

18h

Millions of players are doing the stupidest shit on roblox.

Millions of players are doing the stupidest shit on roblox. God I hate the french, whose idea was it to recreate this neo-gothic nightmare? This game probably got 10 monthly concurrent monthly players with old-ass broken scripts. I could make a better FPS just to make that kid cry. Shitty ass Build. Shitty ass Build. Shitty ass Build. You could build anything on here, but it will probably be a horrific load of sh- HOLY SHIT IS THAT MEGA MINERS? Go ahead and play our game, but don't develop an addiction to furry roleplay games for fucks sake.

by W0IV0

I dumped my gfnsfwTrigger Warning

AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend for pooping in front of me ON THE FLOOR?

Exactly what the title says. My (290F) girlfriend (290M) and I were both slightly tipsy and in an argument about who knows what. We were both being petty and some underhanded comments were made. She went to get up to poop and I said "where are you going" and she said "fine I'll poop right here" and she just pops a squat. I said "if you poop right here on the floor I'm breaking up with you." And she said "I look forward to it". I ended up witnessing the fattest shit dropped known to man right in front of my eyes. Now, AlTA for actually ending the relationship over this? We've been together for 3+ years and now live together. This all happened in our dining room. I can still smell everything.

by manimbored29

146

20h

spam this in your favorite twitch streamer's chat

Guys can you please not spam the chat. My mom bought me this new laptop and it gets really hot when the chat is being spamed. Now my leg is starting to hurt because it is getting so hot. Please, if you don't want me to get burned, then dont spam the chat

yes this is a repost i just want to make r/copypasta actually copypastas

by Federal_Property_458

14h

the weirdest thing just happened lol nsfw

Late at night, I was jerking off and I wore headphones thinking everyone was asleep. Then my sister barges in, (she never knocks) and saw me mid stroke. She didn’t care at all. She just walked up to me having my pants only covering my penis and just showed me the thing she wanted. Then after a few minutes she wanted to show me something else so she just barged in again and asked: “you done?” Which thankfully I was

Anyway that’s it. Now looking at it in retrospect I think it’s hilarious. I guess this means we’re close as siblings? Just wanted to share this funny story that happened yesterday

Edit: I managed to slide my pants back up before she saw anything. That’s part of the reason it wasn’t as awkward as it could have been Stop being weird y’all. I’m not into incest

by Timber_W0lf__

14h

You’re really into those anime girls huh?

Actually mom, they're called traps, and they're far superior than just regular “girls". In fact, girls don't even do anything for me anymore. The concept of overpowering a failed male with your superior masculinity is far more appealing than just the same old T and A. Sorry mom. I don't expect you to understand, but I googled it and I found that it's only 2.19% gay. So don't sign me up for any LGBT support groups. It's practically completely straight.

by Or1Guy_24

21h

I drink 3litres of milk everyday. My girlfriend is concerned. Is there any health problems that could come from this?

I know this sounds crazy but I think I might have a slight addiction to milk. I live in Ireland where it is the best most wholesome natural milk you can drink and it's delicious. I drink it in a pint glass and before I know it I'm on my third glass and the 3litre carton is empty. How much milk is too much milk? My girlfriend concerned. It can cause an excessive amount of flatulence and she tells me I'm losing control of my breaking of wind. I think that's just a sacrifice of having extra strong bones par the milk. Is she overreacting or am I overconsuming?

by reterdedlol

I used to jerk off to angry birds.nsfw

I used to jerk off to angry birds. When I was about 13 I LOVED angry birds, I had every game and bought every toy they had. One day I was playing angry birds when all of a sudden the big red bird turned me on. I couldn't stand it, I was going crazy. I decided to pull out my big long Willy and start jerking. I never had felt so good, I soon continued to do this daily and never got bored of it! That big red bird was so hot and those blue ones were some cuties. I am glad to admit I still do this to this very day.

by willibillik

16h

Im fucking losing it

Ok so I believe that if anyone has been on this subreddit before, they are aware of the constant inside joke of ''People who play Ultrakill eventually come out as gay or trans''. I was aware of this joke when I bought the game, but didn't think much of it.

Now, before I started playing the game I did have some ''curiosities'' about what it would be like to be the other gender or wearing feminine clothes (and now I don't really need any ''you'll figure it out'' comments, thank you, but this is not what this post is about).

The thing is these curiosities have only INCREASED after playing Ultrakill and I am Geniunely Fucking Losing It™. Are you actually telling me the JOKE was RIGHT??? Does this happen to everyone?? Please say yes. I'm not sure if I want this stupid ''haha ultrakill gay people game'' joke to be true.

by pao_colapsado

oh no a crepr

oh no the crepr came to my house and exploded all my things so now i has to go and mine diemends and iran now to rebuiold my house and armor and things until wait is that a knock on my door oh no the crepr came to my house and exploded all my things so now i has to go and mine diemends and iran now to rebuiold my house and armor and things until wait is that a knock on my door oh no the crepr came to my house and exploded all my things so now i has to go and mine diemends and iran now to rebuiold my house and armor and things until wait is that a knock on my door oh no the crepr came to my house and exploded all my things so now i has to go and mine diemends and iran now to rebuiold my house and armor and things.

by KingoftheWorld100

10 years gapnsfw

10 Years gap Written by: Bisexual_Yuri

I am 11 years old, while she is 1 years old when i first saw her angelic face

I am 13 years old, while she is 3 years old when became close to her

I am 15 years old, while she is 5 years old when i became her Knight and shinning armor

I am 17 years old, while she is 7 years old when i fell in love with her

Weeks had past and finally I've got a courage to confess my feelings to her

She also has a feeling for me so i started to court her

I am 18 years old, while she is 8 years old when we became in a relationship

"child abuse" "They aren't meant for each other" "He's so old for her" "10 years gap eww"

Those words feels like knives who's stabbing my heart again and again

But just like what my baby says

"Don't listen to them, we are the one who love and not them, let them judge us because they are the one who will be tired of nothing"

We never get tired of loving each other until one day

I am 19 years old, while she is 9 years old when she left

Our love is endless and nothing can break it, even if they call me child abuse You are still the person I wanted and I don't want to lose

"Baby happy first anniversary thank you for choosing me you made me believe that 10 years gap doesn't matter at all I love you baby and I hope God will take good care of you"

She is 9 years old when she die because of cancer

"You are my one and only

I love you and miss you baby"

Credits to the rightful

by yourpeeandmypoop

18h

Pooping on a Plane Trigger Warning

The trick is to bring a whole canister of whipped cream to security. When the TSA agent says "I'm sorry sir, but you're not allowed to carry that much aerosol on an aircraft," just smile, lube up the nozzle, insert it a knuckle or so deep into your rectum, and go to town. This should leave you nice and gassy. Next, when you go to the bathroom in the airplane, anally slurp up a sip or so of that "nice smelling airline soap". Now when you shit, it will jettison the soap out with the force of a Peregrine Falcon in full dive, filling the restroom with bubbles. As they pop, they will release gradual fragrance that will keep the plane aromatic for hours!

by WebFit9216

16h

I sadly have... To inform you all that i have failed no poop july i know... I know i have failed my mission and i will.. be waiting my punishment i will do anything to repay my sin ...

by thisisnameisrealybig

35s

This sub is out of control...

Every time I come on here for some fucked up erotica or to read some dumb shit written by the most fucked up degenerates on the planet, I see some stupid fucking post about something you can copy places... Like wtf I don't want some shit to copy on a post, I want to hear about sticking things in your ass and pissing on your dog. I'm here to read some porn shit about someone's fucked up fantasy and every once in a while some dog shit post pops up that can be posted to other subs or in response to comments. Can you guys please knock this shit off. I've been uncontrollably edging for several days to skibidi toilet and teleporting dicks. The second I read a post that's meant to be "copied" I immediately go flacid and have to start from scratch. Your doing this tightly knit stuck with cum community a disservice by posting shit to copy other places. PLEASE FUCKING STOP.

by Error-8675

11h

I wanna fuck KAREN from the hit show SPONGEBOB!!!!!!nsfwTrigger Warning

I don't give A FUCK❗IF SHE'S A GOD DAMN ROBOT, SHE'S BAD AS FUCKKKKMMMM 💢💢💢💢💢

I NEED that shiny metallic robotussy. I don't give a DAMN if I gotta square up with that tiny ass green pest, I'll stomp him and send him flying back to the crusty crab while I hit Karen from the back-end with my EXTRA LONG TYPE C CORD, till she's begging me (an alpha male) for some more of my COOKIES.

Look, dude. You simply do not have the brain capacity to understand my motives. It takes a very, very intelligent person to understand that I, (alpha Male) have to have premarital sex with a fine robot such as Karen. Perhaps thoust does not have the means to acquire such... Exquisite tastes. Thus, unable to understand the depth and nuance of having sexual intercourse with Artificial Intelligence, UwU.

Now go try and fetch the crabby patty formula or something, Plankton... Me and your licks lips robotic wife are busy... I have to install some... Anti piracy measures deep inside of her. Get lost already, loser. Smirks while doing the Sheldon Cooper pose

by Emotional_Course_339

14h

Another tiktok copypasta

I noticed that you used “😭” in your comment. Just wanted to say, don’t give up anything in your life. I don’t know what you’re going through but I’m always here to help.

by BigBoxFullofKittens7

The Glory Hole Breakernsfw

The glory hole breaker
A mass of meat so engorged that no one can take it
As he slides his shaft through the hole in the wall
I see the paint on the wall start to peel
And my mouth is overcome with fear
Drooling for behemoth
With his third leg, he's like a tripod
If he ever got full fast
He'd probably faint at the fucking blood loss
Calling my name with his southern drawl
Girth Brooks has a cock that could give nightmares to you all
It's like a second torso attached to his pelvis
I could grab his dick and pole dance
His tip is a football

Just going down
On this man, I have to unhinge my jaw like a snake
I've seen the meat in person and sometimes I still think it's fake
We could line up for miles
Starting at his head and stretching back to his balls
He can use a hula hoop as a cock ring
And, even then, he might need two

Oh
This is the first time I've seen a cock that I could fucking fist
This man has a dick that gives off shade

Shove your dick in my ear and mindfuck me
He knocks items off the shelves at the super market
Just trying to turn while containing the furious meat rocket
Stretch the feeling out of my mouth

Self-containing Armageddon sits in his pants
Stitches straining, fly is breaking
Holding back his kickstand
After he cums, he recoils his fleshly firehose
Delivering jizz at a lethal dose
I need to double-hand grab it and hold it like a shovel
You need to trowel my fucking bowels
This enormous dick just bruised my Goddamn kidney

Oh
The glory hole breaker
A mass of meat so engorged that no one can take it
As he slides his shaft through the hole in the wall
I see the paint on the wall start to peel
And my mouth is overcome with fear
Drooling for behemoth
With his third leg, he's like a tripod
If he ever got full fast
He'd probably faint at the fucking blood loss
Calling my name with his southern drawl
Girth Brooks has a cock that could give nightmares to you all
It's like a second torso attached to his pelvis
I could grab his dick and pole dance
His tip is a football

Oh
This is the first time I've seen a cock that I could fucking fist
This man has a dick that gives off shade

Shove your dick in my ear and mindfuck me
He knocks items off the shelves at the super market
Just trying to turn while containing the furious meat rocket
Stretch the feeling out of my mouth

Oh
The veins on his cock are thicker than a tube sock The veins on his cock are thicker than a tube sock

by NavoiiGamerYes

39m

😭

I noticed that you used “😭” in your comment. Just wanted to say, don’t give up anything in your life. I don’t know what you’re going through but I’m always here to help

by mrmop69

12h

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by Mr_k_reddit

Don't think that carrot big because carrot big leaf

Don't think that carrot big because carrot big leaf because small leaf carrot big not leaf big size.

Some time... On way to succesful.... First of steps of all of the steps to being succesful steps are hardest of all of the steps to successing. Steps.

Just because everyone person going in one directional way, does not meaning you are going to the directional direction to wich every person wich is going in. Go in your own indepenedent in wich way you are going in.

Some time in live, everything pencil and everything smoothly with pencil going smoothly. But then,,, Unexpected happening it is happening unexpectedly in life. The importance thing to do is to make solution to problem so problem is solutioned problem solution problem.

Chair.

The more you know are knowing what you are knowing and more your brain size in yiur head size big, the less you need to say to talk in argument with other peoples with smaller brain head shouting.

by adkxkcrf

To. Sir Jordan Cartier

Bree 🤯😱😱🤯🗣️🔥‼️
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 🥴🤤😩💦🤨🗣️🔊
Eder sins a buder diee 👻🪦🔥
I demadobi homiseye 💀😔🗣️🔊‼️
I demadobi homiseye 😡🔫
Fre mea te 🆓🥶🔊🔥‼️‼️
Free me go pree 🗣️🔥
Bring all my giys 🤨🥶🗣️🔥‼️
Free prolla chair 🪑🤯🤯
*completely inaudible* 🤷‍♂️
Bri di tank oin too ay fiey 🎽🍟🔥‼️🗣️🔊‼️
Al da way on protrist, onna onma sigh 😮‍💨😮‍💨🗣️😭🔊‼️🥶
Smok on my handmaid 💨💨🧼😟
Galo leavren fry 🍟😋😩🗣️‼️🤯
I no nema frirls 🐠🗣️‼️🔊🔥
I no new no fry 🐠🍟
I got woke tie🆙👔🙏🥶

by Immediate_Setting609

@everyone if you have nothing important to do right now, please join call for a fun talk.

Ok @everyone , I’m gonna leave now. But I just have some things to say:

If the reason why you don’t want to join is because you are currently busy, then you could have just said that you are busy.
If the reason why you don’t want to join is because you still hate me for the things I did in the past, then I suggest you move on already. Some of you guys have treated me like a piece of trash since before, and I’m sick of it.

by Ecpeze