I’m not an addict, but I like how AA has sponsors etc to turn to when you need more support. I’m in excruciating pain and so tempted to reinstate when I’ve gotten myself all the way down to 0.03mg Klonopin from 0.5mg.
It’s taken me 4 months and I’ve gone to the hospital so many times because I couldn’t handle the pain and didn’t know what was happening to my body. I still don’t know how much of this is withdrawal versus something else.
No one but me knows how much agony I’ve pushed through to get to this dose and I really want it all to be over. I can’t trust my psychiatrist because they’re the ones that pressured me onto it.
My family has supported me financially through all this, driven me to doctor appointments, etc. But the pain just keeps spreading and I’ve tried so hard to reverse or slow it down with diet and exercise and therapy and breathing exercises and getting sunlight and distracting myself and getting in the pool to ease my joints or taking baths. It’s not working.
I just really need someone to tell me that they had the same crippling joint and tendon pain and that it went away. I can’t see past this seemingly endless sea of pain. I miss who I was before. I’m scared I’m a bad person now.