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Were your parents not religious? I just ask as I have a 16mo old and worried about my choice to raise him without religion. I enjoyed some things about it growing up…being in Christmas pageants, the feeling of being at midnight mass, Easter activities at the church. There was a lot that was awful though. But I think it was specific to my family…lots of screaming/yelling to get in the car to go to church, punishments, the concept of confession was bewildering to me, my aunt being a nun we went to “revivals” which I can only describe as cult like yoga-esque experience followed by donuts, my family members going on pilgrimage, watching movies like the greatest story ever told and really believing that was my faith history. Ugh
I(M62) have no idea, Mom(87) and Dad(92) have never have talked about it and while I have become an outspoken anti-theist since the pandemic, their religiosity has just never come up in talking to them.
I can add the look on my face must have been hilarious when as a teenager I discovered there were adults outside of isolated tribes in the deepest part of the Amazon rain forest that thought the supernatural was real!
I had an extremely different upbringing to most. My father was an "efficiency expert" for BP British Petroleum, (he mostly fired people). We'd move every three months, usually to different country and a new oil refinery/gas plant or oil production of some kind often on the coast of whatever country. By the time I finished high-school and left home to go to university I had lived on 4 continents and over 30 different countries. But in Dad's contract to BP me and my brother were always given an A-one education, sometimes private tutors in countries where there were no schools. I was taken as part of my education to all the great museums, art galleries and architectural and natural wonders in every country I lived. Me 'n my brother grew up friendless as three months in one place before moving meant no long term friends, no toys that didn't fit in one suitcase, never a bicycle or big toy, as a teen my close and play record player, lp's and books took up all of my suitcase space. As an adult I wish I had appreciated all I had a chance to do and see at the time, but I was just a typical self centred kid back then just doing what I was told to avoid getting yelled at by my parents.
Wasn't all fun and adventure though, I was in Rodesha when it turned into Zimbabwe and learned about guns and the fragility of human life the hard way.
It was a strange way to grow up, but it showed me that people all over the world tend to believe what their parents believed. Man oh man was I shocked to find the kids the were dragged to church/mosque went for more than to keep their parents happy. I watched first hand as different religions indoctrinated kids in the exact same way into those totally obviously non-falsifiable beliefs. Places like in the western part of Africa were wild with the people there mixing chrisianity and islam with juju curse/bless voodoo magic mixed in.
Worried about your choice? How do you not find that an insult to all the people who don't need myths for morality? lol
I’m not sure what you mean? I can’t be the only one that struggles to keep family relationships intact when religion or politics come up. My whole family is Catholic…most practicing Catholics who have baptized my nieces/nephews. I have an aunt who is a nun ask me every other time she talks to me if I have arranged baptism for my son. My mom is dead, so telling her sister to shove it isn’t a good option as I value family relationships more since her passing.
To each their own. I find that kind of tight rope walking exhausting so I won’t do it. Also, if I have to be the one catering to everyone else’s beliefs it’s not much a relationship.
You could try a Unitarian Universalist church. Most people who attend are atheist or agnostic.
I joined a UU church primarily so that my kids could get innoculated against religion. I stayed because it’s a great community.
Thank you! I never been and am just worried about it being like a Christian mega church vibe where they are welcoming but then want you to spend all your time and money there. I just want my family to have some community in our lives, to volunteer, do good works, learn value in helping others etc. we do not live near family and most friends have moved away.
UU churches are about as far from a Christian mega church vibe as you can get. Most congregations are fairly small and the services are usually low key. A lot of families attend so that their children can get religious education that isn’t dogmatic and isn’t Christian. In particular a lot of families with gay parents attend. Usually there are many opportunities for members and friends to work on social justice projects.
No. I'd rather just join a club.
Yes I have looked into things like Rotary. Trying to do something I can take my 16mo old to. I will keep looking, thanks!
Your baby will have opportunities for activities as he grows up. He will be in school. Maybe sports or theater. He won’t remember being 16 months old.
Rotary should be fun. They start with a prayer often and frequently sing racist minstrel tunes. Wish I was joking.
This has been my experience volunteering as well. For example we used to do a lot of homeless intervention work when my husband was chair of our local coalition, but so much clout for outreach comes from religious organizations, even peer sponsors to help other homeless attributes much assistance to a church or God. So joining a club doesn’t seem much different than joining a non denominational church in that sense. I don’t think it’s realistic to participate in the community I am in without coexisting with at least outwardly religious people.
Coexisting is 1 thing. Co-signing is another.
Tried a kind of secular church for all the reasons you mentioned but it didn’t really work out for us. Everyone else was way older. The main way the organization sustained itself was with an expensive private school. I’ve moved again and have been reading about newer kinds of church alternatives to try but haven’t found anything yet. I don’t think I’d go to a faith-based church as it would be basically disingenuous.
Yes. I go when I'm off work on sundays. Which happens rarely. If I were off sundays, I'd probably go every week. I have no friends and could use the social outlet.
You can find community anywhere. Go to meetup.com and search for atheist. Why would you want any of that nonsense for your kid?
I used to go to church with my father every Sunday before the dementia got too bad. Considering all he’s done for me in my life I didn’t have any second thoughts about going to church with him. It was about him, not me.
Yes, quite a lot of them. A study in Canada a decade or so ago found that roughly 1/4 of those who self-identified as Christian also said that they did not believe in a god. The numbers in the US are lower, but higher in places which are more accepting of non-belief such as the UK and Scandinavia. It also differs by denomination, a 2023 Pew study found that 91% of Evangelicals believe in the god of the bible but just 67% of Catholics and 66% of Mainline Protestants did (and a mere 39% amongst Jews). So this data suggests that somewhere between 1/10th and a 1/3rd of Christians in America do not believe in a god, so that is a fairly sizable number of atheists who attend church.
I am a member of my family's church (Lutheran, the liberal ELCA not one of the fundamentalist sects), my step-father is the pastor there. I go a few times a year for family stuff, mostly holidays but on occasion things like weddings or baptism that we are expected to be there for. But I am an atheist, I don't believe in any gods, and I don't enjoy church nor the strange rituals involved in religion. I go because it is a family thing. I also sometimes help out at their food bank, but they are one of the nice ones that aren't all preachy about it. I went to one that was eyeglasses for the poor and the eye doctor kept preaching to everybody as he examined their vision and asking creepy questions about Jesus... so I did not enjoy that one at all. My daughter used to go to after school and summer camp stuff held by the church, I wasn't thrilled with their unscientific Noah's Ark play, but other than that they were mostly okay.
Yup. Couldn't find better place, but church. Like this feeling of being the part of community, friendliness, free food and songs. Like to talk to people about various life things. I see myself some kind of young philosopher(KIND OFF, just like talking about tough topic). Thanks to me, I like and can talk to people and have incredibly good relationships with all the people in the church(actually, I go to two churches. This is about 30-60 people)while being a complete atheist, which they know too.
BUT!! I would like to find clubs and so on. Any idea how to SEARCH for such clubs? I mean, I really don't understand how to find communities with same interests. I very accidentally found these churches and would like to look forward for something else. I live in Germany. Am 20.
Yes. 1-2 times a month. I’m ultimately here for the people 🤷
Sure I'll go for weddings and funerals. I'll go to the Italian club even though I don't like their food. I don't hate religion I just don't care that much.
No. Why would I want the subtext of dogma hovering over my "community"?
As a never indoctrinated life long atheist I can honestly say attending a church or a mosque or any kind of supernatural belief thing/place never even once crossed my mind outside of haunted houses on Halloween.