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This. When I first moved to the UK, I found myself both astonished and somewhat confused by the fact that 90% of the people I met who were in relationships seemed to be gay.
I hadn’t heard “partner” used in any other way before
I’m from the UK and to me partner just means more serious than boyfriend/girlfriend but not engaged/married.
I'm engaged, but wouldn't call the person I'm in a relationship with my "fiancé" in casual conversation. Only in conversations related to our wedding. It just feels ridiculous. I use "boyfriend" occasionally, but mostly partner, which is the term I have used since we moved in together.
Yeah that’s fair. On thinking more about I’d go as far to say partner includes finance/husband/wife but feels less awkward to say. Like if you said fiancé you’re going out of your way to make the point you’re engaged. Partner basically means more than boyfriend/girlfriend, whether it be through how long you’ve been together, kids, marriage status etc.
For me, partner implies moving in together.
Yes, I'm from the UK, and I love the ambiguity of 'partner'. You can make your own assumptions if you think I'm in a same sex relationship or not. Who cares! I also think boyfriend doesn't fully reflect our relationship as we are joint home owners, and he's the father of my child!
I must admit I was a little confused once when someone kept referring to his business partner as his partner.
And then my partner got shot.
...what line of business are you in?
Partners in crime.
Yeah same. I generally only use it when I think our level of commitment is none of the business of the person I'm talking to lol.
I also look really young for a 28 year old, so if I say "my wife" I usually get a strange look followed by questions, which I'd usually rather avoid with a stranger or something.
As an older gay man from the UK back when people were more homophobic in 80’s and 90’s I used partner for my boyfriend all the time because it was ambiguous. Now I’m married and older I no longer care and will say my husband to complete strangers. I’m a farmer most people associate a farmer as being straight so I often get people asking if I have wife. I will always say husband. Most people just accept it nowadays if they don’t then they are not people I want to associate with.
It’s important to some people to know if your gay or straight, presumably so that they know how much respect you deserve.
In my experience it’s either that or they feel like “partner” doesn’t accurately describe how serious of a relationship it is. Like if you say “husband” or “wife”, that brings the context of a serious relationship commitment. But saying “partner” could mean anything
Depends on the context, is it a professional business setting, maybe they could be referring to them as a business partner
Any other casual setting? I’m not sure how it could be misinterpreted honestly
"Partner" makes it clear the relationship is serious, compared to "boyfriend/girlfriend". To me partner heavily implies that you at least live together, and talk about the long term future together.
I’ve found that the people who have a problem with the term ‘partner’ also have a tendency of having a problem with gay people. It’s nice when the homophobes out themselves.
I don’t think it is homophobes. If I hear “partner” I think “alright probably gay” which I have no problem with whatsoever. It just kind of means that in my mind. I know it happens but I don’t personally know any straight people that say partner but I know several gay people that do
I've known a fair few for whom English wasn't they're first language, might be how it gets taught
What do older people who aren’t married call their spouse in your circles?
Ehh I speak Spanish as a second language and I don’t think anyone would translate partner to anything besides a work partner or friend. If there’s any native speakers in here, please correct me if im wrong
My girlfriends native language is Spanish and we definitely don’t use partner but I’ll ask her what she thinks about it later when she’s not working and see what she thinks
I wouldn't in Spanish either it's mostly been Eastern Europeans
Can’t speak for Eastern Europeans, but in Germany I would also think of business partner first, and then of Lebenspartnerschaft (life partnership) which was used before gay people were allowed to marry.
There’s no consensus on this, but this is actually a reason some people in same-sex relationships like it when straight people use “partner”: it normalizes it.
Some people use “partner” so as not to immediately out themselves as gay but also not lie. But this doesn’t really work if everyone who says partner is automatically assumed to be gay anyways. So straight people using it makes the term more ambiguous.
I started saying partner more after I proposed to my girlfriend earlier this year, because I’m tired of talking about wedding planning every time I say fiancée. Wedding planning is already stressful, so I don’t want to talk about it.
That sounds about right. The association that is with the LGBT… I think it would be fair to say “partner” is the “happy holidays” to “boyfriend/girlfriend”’s “merry Christmas”.
I think you just hit the nail on the head.
This is exactly why I use the term partner. Once we moved in together, I found it weird how whenever I mentioned a "boyfriend" most people would ask how long we have been together. Really what they want to know is how serious we are, and whether we met just two months ago or whatever. "Partner" makes the significance of your relationship clear.
I'm also engaged now, but "fiancé" feels a bit try-hard for casual conversation. It very much feels like saying "oh, I'm engaged by the way".
That’s why people hate the term?
I am not “married” and have been with my partner for 14 years. I have proposed and she is a stay at home mom for my kids. People do get nosey af about our relationship and have a million opinions about it. She is happy, I am happy and that is all that matters. We act married, say we are married, and have a great relationship.
Yeah, I get that, too, even though we are 49 and 53. I just say, "I ain't ever getting married again, if he's not happy being my boyfriend he can kick rocks."
Of course, my boyfriend isn't the one with the problem. But when I phrase it that way it often shuts people up.
I like the term partner because a strong relationship is the most intimate partnership there is. While I call him "my husband" most of the time, partner is a nice way of putting it too.
It also triggers the sexists and bigots, apparently, even when it's in reference to a hetero marriage like mine. That's always a bonus.
Love the bonus feature, started using it since it felt more serious then girlfriend and I been with her for a long time before getting married. It pissing off people that think I might be gay is a bonus feature. Adds a nice little filter to conversations.
Very useful! Helps weed out the idiots.
Yep - love it when the trash takes itself out
I love doing this.
Yeah. Same. Love collecting those bonus points.
I never caught onto the pearl clutching on the parts of bigots and sexists when this term is used until recently, and it's kind of hilarious, but still kind of sad.
I dont think there is anything wrong with using that word. I actually find it pretty useful especially when knowing people that are bi or date people of the same gender to avoid misunderstandings and offenses.
Is it really odd that to me, "fiancé/wife/husband/spouse" all sound that way, very unromantic?
Some people REALLY care about strangers lives and choices for some weird reason.
I (F) call my fiancé (M) my partner and I’ve never even thought about it having some double entendre. It’s just another word to me like boyfriend or husband or whatever.
People get their knickers in a knot over the wildest things
Any gender can wear a ring?
Why do you care if people online know your gender?
Not who you're replying to but some people online can undermine you just because of your gender or sexuality. It applies to any genders. Example if a husband wants a break from childcare it must be because he's a deadbeat dad but maybe this dad is actually the main caretaker and he's really exhausted at this point?
Just ignore those people! The reality is the marriage rate is declining, but people are still entering committed relationships. “Partner” seems a natural choice for those types of relationships.
That's why I use it. After 8 years and outlasting more than one marriage around us, boyfriend girlfriend doesn't really seem to cover that anymore.
As a gay person who uses "partner", it makes people immediately assume you're gay
I’m in a hetero relationship and use partner. I’m sure some people think I’m with a woman when I say that but I don’t care haha keep ‘em guessing
Isn’t the entire point of language and vocabulary to be clear and easily understood and non ambiguous when possible?
Partner being more widely used is a way to make both gay and straight relationships more equal. It's also giving a sense of ambiguity that closeted people can hide under if they meet homophobic people or live in a homophobic area.
Besides, it doesn't matter if it's with different or same gender; they're still the significant other.
I find more alarming that people feel entitled to know whether someone's relationship is gay or straight. Why does it matter? Why would you even need to know the gender of a person's partner since that's private? Unless you're already close and personally know the partner, I don't think it's any of your business to know what gender their partner is.
This is the answer.
I’m in a heterosexual relationship and use partner specifically because of this. It makes people question the assumptions they have over genders.
Which is wild to me because partner is a universal thing to me, regardless of orientation. I'm Hetero male and I always use partner because it'd feel cringy and childish to say "girlfriend" to as an adult, and literally nobody says "womanfriend" lmao. You don't hear people with male partners say "manfriend" either. If people question it, nornally I just tell them, but up front it really isn't their business either tbh. Using their pronouns in the conversation is more than enough to answer the question.
Gay and/or non gender confirming.
I prefer Partner. Boyfriend/girlfriend seems like a term people use for relationships that don’t last long or for the early part of a relationship. But that’s just my opinion.
I agree. It makes me think of frivolous teenage relationships that only exist for drama and that everyone knows are never gonna last. It’s never going to make me think of responsible adults who know what they’re doing, because adults are not boys or girls.
In everyday parlance, "partner" has a very business-y connotation. If I introduced someone as "my partner", it makes it sound like we're running a startup together. Or we're two cowboys riding off into the sunset. In a way, it is an apt term because you're building a life together with them. But it sounds sanitized and completely depleted of the romantic vibes.
As a 30-year-old, I do understand what you mean when you say that terms like "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" sound young. And it definitely sounds out-of-place when you both are living together and sharing finances (I don't know if that's the situation with you two though). It's not the same as two high school/college kids dating.
I do like the term "significant order" though. It's a term that actually conveys the intimacy of your relationship and can be used by couples irrespective of their marital status.
No idea. I love the word. Really stresses how we're a partnership in life.
I like the term. I also came to the age when girl/boyfriend doesn't sound that serious since where are not boy/girls anymore, at least in my language. With age people use more term partner.
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I think it’s because they want to clearly know which gender
I do the same as you. I do see reactions but people never said anything. I can see people trying to “assess my gayness” at times/people told me they thought I was gay/people were confused when I said his name (clearly masc name) and said they’d assumed I was gay. He’s a boyfriend I guess, but as a 32yo woman it sounds way too young to say boyfriend
I agree. We are in our mid/late 30s and unmarried but we own a home together, 3 dogs and several bills. Bf/gf sounds young. We are much more to each other. We both say “partners.” I see nothing wrong with it 🤷🏼♀️
To me, "Partner" seems distant. Feels like what id refer to someone I work with than someone I love. I'd be offended if my girl referred to me that way.
Interesting. I felt that referring to my significant other as "boyfriend" felt too casual and somewhat childish as a 30 something in a long-term committed relationship, with children, cohabiting, but not married. So we used "partner" until we got engaged and later married.
Boyfriend and girlfriend sounds very juvenile and casual to me. Something is needed to span the gap between girl/boyfriend and fiancé(e). Partner fits the bill.
Plus, I don't care if someone assumes I'm lesbian, tbh.
This is it. Surely using bf/gf is way worse than saying partner. Am I missing something? Do the critics genuinely prefer that a 40-year-old says bf/gf instead of partner? Lol. I feel like this is an extended joke.
“Significant Other” is just fine by me as well as “Partner” or even “Spouse” if it’s about a legal thing.
"Spouse" is just a gender neutral word for husband/wife, though. And "significant other" is a mouthful to use all the time. We could shorten it to sig-oth or something, I suppose 😆
“Sig-oth” sounds like a Lovecraftian abomination, lol. “Partner” is the correct term. “Romantic partner” from the beginning, and then later “life partner” as well if you want to make that level of commitment. I’ve also seen “intimate partner” used, or of course “lover”, and those terms are also fine and also don’t sound like eldritch horrors.
"SO" (Es-oh) is already well established for those who also think significant other is too long, but Sig-oth sure is an interesting approach
I'd find being referred to as "my girl" cringey and awkward AF.
What term do you prefer? (Especially if not married but in a committed long-term relationship)
I feel the same way about being called someone's "girl." I'm nearly 30, I'm not a girl 😭💪
I don’t hate it but I don’t use it for myself because it doesn’t have an immediately romantic connotation and for some reason that turns me off of it. Partner could mean so many things — do we own a law firm? Are we cops? Are we robbing a bank? Obviously you’re not going to make any of those assumptions in casual conversation but I just like that boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife have one meaning only and it’s a romantic one.
Didn’t think people hated it. If they do they are a bit weird if you ask me.
I’ve used the term for every relationship I’ve had since my mid to late twenties. Because I’ve never married and never will. I’m not her boyfriend and she’s not my girlfriend, because were grown ups. I also think it’s unsophisticated to introduce someone as ‘this is the woman I fuck’
Because it’s generic. There are many types of partners. I have one wife.
Don't know, don't care. People enjoy being bitter.
I call her my partner cause that's what we are. Partners in crime (;
I love it when couples who are actually good couples refer to each other as “partners in crime”. It’s adorable. Gives you the feeling that they wouldn’t hesitate to break the law for each other if it was necessary, and that’s the coolest.
Some people are way too invested in what words other people choose to use and should mind their own business. Including your brother and random wannabe podcasters.
Partner is a very broad term so it can be seen as disrespectful. It can be seen like "I can't tell if she's your wife or your mother so I'll just say partner because it can mean a myriad of things therefore covers both".
People are going to have problems with anything you say or do. Fuck 'em.
Gender neutral terminology makes a certain kind of person angry
Some people hate things for no valid reason. Avoid the haters.
I am a cis hetero male and I use the term partner. I know life can be hard for gay folks. If you're gay, and you have to describe your partner to your coworkers, that's not always an easy conversation. I like to use the term partner to help normalize the terminology. I think it's a good and inclusive choice of words.
EDIT: I guess I didn't actually answer the question. Some people don't like it because they easily get butt hurt when people don't talk the way they like. Or they just hate the gays.
That’s a really important part with support, partner is used to somewhat protect LGBT+ couples with ambiguity, but if only we’re using it then it becomes redundant. It’s a word for everyone that is in a serious, committed, long-term relationship and the more normalised that is the better for everyone (by extension for cis/straight people that don’t want to marry but have a life partner, people that value that level of privacy, to convey the significance of a relationship past boy/girlfriend, etc)!
Keep it up my guy, thank you! 💪
It's very simple. Partner is used commonly in the LGBT community, and the person who scoffs is homophobic.
I don't honestly care what others use.
When some says partner though I assume they are in a business style relationship. It comes off as cold. So yes someone introducing a partner I would assume the relationship is at its climax and nothing further would happen in it. I am not apt on asking about peoples futures as in if they were to get married or not but I suspect if I were this would be a sign not to ask.
I agree bf and gf are very youthful and struggle with the appropriate terminology my SO calls me his lady friend and it makes me laugh as it ages him beyond his years. I resort to my man. I am seen as a pretty strong and independent woman so it makes me giggle a little when I say my man or the man and I get to watch shock in peoples faces when I use the term.
Personally, I hate that term because it can also refer to a business partner.
My husband IS my business partner, but he’s my husband first and my partner second. The term ‘partner’ feels like work to me, not love.
Exactly this. It creates unnecessary ambiguity. In the workplace, half of the time I hear "partner" they are referring to their co-worker or business partner, and I sit through an entire conversation to finally figure out which one. At university, half of the time I heard it it was referring to a group project partner, and again I often never got the chance to figure out which.
People would say “business partner” then
Except that many people don’t. I know quite a few people who just say partner even when referring to their business partner.
They wouldn't necessarily, no.
It's common, at least in my country to say partner and refer to a business partner or just someone you play tennis with.
I find the people who make a stink about one or the other are typically insufferable. Use whatever word works for you and let other people do the same.
Common law 20+ years - we are not married. We are way past dating and have built a life together, have children, etc.
Also, it keeps the term boyfriend/girlfriend for the action We have on the side ;)
Those more specific terms are meant to convey information. The gender of the person, as well as if you’re married or dating. Partner seems to deliberately withhold that information, so it can seem off putting
I’m exactly the same, don’t want to marry but boyfriend sounds so childish! Easier to say husband/wife if no one will know otherwise.
It's gender neutral, and therefore seen as progressive, or "woke", and agrivates people agrivated by such things.
I use partner for the same reason. My (46m) partner (40f) have been together since 2016 and we literally became official domestic partners in nyc. I think a lot of people still tend to associate the term with same sex relationships, but the term boy/girlfriend sounds to frivolous to describe our relationship.
Idk. I find it much more meaningful than boyfriend.
because they only want straight couples to exist. the only people i've ever seen be mad at this will argue that you can't say partner, because you're with someone who appears to use she/her pronouns, so you say girlfriend or wife, not partner. absolutely ridiculous.
My ex does this. She has seen everybody treat a boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband like property, trophies, or status symbols to the point where the label seems empty or abusive, so she prefers partner to make it seem like an actual relationship where both parties have agency and equal weight.
i like partner because it feels more grown up and serious.. i think some don't like it because it's often used by gay people
My (30sF) and my partner/boyfriend’s (30sM) feelings are very different on this. I prefer partner because it sounds more committed to me than bf/gf. He strongly dislikes the term, however, because it feels cold or like a business relationship to him, so he prefers boyfriend/girlfriend.
Wait... "partners" is about pair bonding relationships??? I was always wondering why so many people were suddenly becoming detectives/cops whom did not look like that type. Oh lord.... now I also guess that all cop partners aren't going out to family parties together or fucking each other ramptantly.
My whole world view is upside down.
I thought people were just talking like cowboys. Howdy, partner!
In Denmark we have the word "Kæreste" litt. "The one i hold dearest" - You can use that, if you want.
People have a negative disposition to gender neutral terms. They just have to know which genitals your partner has.
Same as blue colors for boy babies and pink for girls.
They’re insecure. They think they need to define others’ relationships and demand that gender is attached to them. They can’t accept that it’s not up to them.
Because they don’t know whether they can hate you for your sexual orientation or not.
Because it’s what gay people use to describe their relationships and many people get triggered by anything gay or just hate gay people.
Because they want to label you in their brain for convenience, and you made it more difficult.
because homophobic straight people get weird and gatekeepy about queer relationships/marriage
I have no idea, because for me it's the most accurate term to describe the person that I'm in a relationship with.
My partner is the father of my child. When I meet someone new and have my daughter with me, using the term boyfriend could mean that I'm in a relationship with a man who is NOT my daughter's father, but I am - we just aren't married. Calling him "my daughter's father" implies that we aren't together anymore, even though the phrase is more accurate than just "my boyfriend." Boyfriend feels very young and immature when children get involved, but even though I wear a ring on my left hand, we aren't "officially" engaged, either. So I'm left with "partner." Maybe it will change to husband someday, maybe it won't - I'm not in a hurry to get married again after my first one ended horribly.
I kind of have the opinion of just, call them whatever the hell you want. It doesn't matter as long as it works for you.
I heard one person say they had an issue with it because it could be confused with business partner. I can usually tell myself though if someone means their romantic partner or their business partner.
Homophobia, they don't want people to think they are gay for even a second.
Why do they hate when others use it though? 😄
At one time if someone said "This is my partner", the reply would be "Oh, what business are you in?" Now it doesn't tell you anything, so people are left wondering if the person is a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife or someone that they are in business with. That is why some people don't like it. Maybe some people like a bit of privacy, but if not, then why not say what the person is?
I dislike the term slightly because once, during a job interview with a university, I reiterated I was already moving to the area because my wife accepted a professorship there. The interviewer corrected me and called her my partner.
I didn’t get the job. I got a better job at a better college.
I use the term partner now but still think of that asshole interviewer.
Correcting someone on how they refer to the person they are in a relationship with is just... don't do that. That's so rude.
Asshole is right.
When I hear "partner" my GenX mind goes to something like a business partner. Partner in crime. Coworker, like someone you work very closely with daily as welders often do. Or even something I'd hear in a good old John Wayne movie.
It's not that I dislike the term. It's just not what I call a personal romantic type relationship.
I'm in the same age group, and feel the same. I'm not concerned if people think it sounds childish, I refer to my SO as my girlfriend. We're not married, but in some contexts we'll refer to each other as husband and wife, but after both of us have gotten out of long term marriages, even that often can sound a little distant.
I use Partner or SO. The only people who have issue want to know if I’m gay or not. So in my experience it’s been the people who have an issue with homosexuality or they actually want to get to know me better and ask in a more curious/genuine way if they’re male or female
I wouldn't know if it's someone you work with or someone you are in a romantic relationship with. It also comes off as cold and non-committal to me.
And, if it's someone I'm bound to meet, it tells me nothing about the person's gender which, as someone coming from a gendered language, is confusing. I don't care if your relationship is same sex or not, but waiting until the introduction to figure out if I'm meeting a man or a woman is a bit confusing.
My real estate agent recently wanted to introduce me to his partner and I wasn't completely sure what to think. My husband assumed he was gay, but he literally wanted me to meet the guy he works with lol.
Because to Bigots, Partner means LGBTQIA+ Couple.
To them, using partner to describe a straight relationship "destroys the sanctity of natural relationships" or some other garbage they tell themselves to believe they are superior. Partner implies equality, and Cis men want to own their spouse.
Its a great way to speedrun finding bigots.
I think it's a little unromantic. Sounds kinda like a business deal.
But in my first language, "boyfriend/girlfriend" is already gender neutral. The most common word "kæreste" means "dearest" or something like that.
I can understand why people like having a gender neutral word in english. But it has also caught on in Danish wich I dislike a little, as it's unnecessary and like I said, unromantic.
Just seems less intimate and personal a term to use for someone that you supposedly love.
You don’t want the person you love to be your partner in life?
I don’t care what other people call themselves, but I don’t like it for myself because it isn’t romantic or feminine enough for my taste. It reminds me of old cowboy movies.
"That's my special, Lady friend!"
Partner doesn't sound strange to me, although I mostly still call my wife my girlfriend. One of my previous girlfriends had a little issue with being called like that. After that I jokingly introduced her a while as "My next ex." She then decided girlfriend was fine.
Because people are obsessed with other people's genitals.
I introduced my business partner to someone at a gathering as "my partner" (in the middle of a discussion of the business in which we are partners) and his girlfriend was livid. I now only use it to refer to relationships :/
I've definitely noticed myself, at work for example, referring to people's significant other's as "partner". But in my field, there's lots of divorce/ older people, and partner seems more inclusive. It could be widowers who are dating but not planning on another marriage. It could be divorcees who have more casual relationship. And it can also include gay relationships.
It's another "don't assume" situation. If you're in the US, I can see the argument against the term "partner" as being too "prolifically correct" because it may not follow the standard family nucleus model. And allows for gays, open marriages, whatever model you want that's different.
Being from the UK and having used the term partner before I married my husband, I find it hilarious that American friends may have believed that I was gay
She used to prod me when I said 'our lass' and people from Norfolk thought I meant me sister.... so partner works.... Boyfriend / girlfriend makes me think I'm about 12 and fiance would remind her how long she's had that title... And that would lead to nagging....so partner it is
Older people using the term boyfriend and girlfriend makes me cringe. I think saying partner is better to describe a long term relationship between older mature adults who are not married.
Outside of reddit iv never had anyone balk at the term.
I think people have too much time on their hands and are too easily offended. Call your partner whatever the hell you want
Because for whatever reason we have been raised to assume genders, and going from certainty to ambiguity in anything is a difficult transition decades later. Same reason they/them is so damn hard, is it a single person or a group, no clue now. Why does it matter? Just decades of being used to it
Cuz people immediately think LGBTQ, or some sort of supporter, or like you're pushing a line or making a statement.
I don't feel this way but that's the reason.
If a colleague or someone I don't know well says 'partner' i will automatically wonder if they mean homosexual. But also not care. If I get to know them further I will more than likely find out. And also not care
'Partner' triggers some people because they associate it with politically correct speech and wokeness. In Australia it's so common for people to use 'partner' to the point that I don't think they even consider the implications anymore. It implies a relationship more serious than boy/girlfriend but sounds more friendly than defacto.
I think it’s mostly because they dislike gay and trans people and the word “partner” is vague and inclusive.
I personally refer to partners for others when talking about their relationships. This is an inclusive term no matter what, and I choose to be civil with people instead of being a dick and scoffing lol.
"Partner" has traditionally been a homosexual term. Older heterosexual couples would previously use terms such as "significant other" instead of girlfriend/boyfriend. "Partner" has become more accepted for all relationships in younger couples, but still has push back from older generations.
The reality is, who cares? Define your relationship however you deem fit.
Many people think partner=gay and lump that into their culture war bs.
I don't. I share your view, letter by letter.
I always call them my partner.
I think the issue would be for example if someone would refer to my wife as my "partner"... No, she's my wife. That's what she identifies as and how I identify her, people who have ideologies that require everything to be gender neutral and force those gender neutral labels on people who don't want them are the problem. If you and your "partner" Identify as "partners" then I have absolutely no issue with applying that term to YOU, because you chose it.
I'm in a relationship with my partner. We are a little more serious than boyfriend-girlfriend. We got really drunk together, we ran away together, we had kids together, we bought a house together, we raised the kids together, we paid of the mortgage together, we saw the kids leave for university together. Whatever.
I’m mid forties female and I always use the term partner. I feel it better describes my relationship, ‘we’re partners’, than saying boyfriend.
i never think too deep into it because it's never that deep lol
It's a new thing this hatred of the word. It was normal for years.
I say partner. Everyone that doesn't like it can go be mad
You sleep with your boyfriend/girlfriend. You go on police patrol or ride the open range with your partner.
Truthfully I didn't know there was such hatred towards it! I sometimes refer to my bf as my partner and haven't come across this. I think people need to mind their own business tbh 🤷🏼♀️
Whenever someone uses the word partner, I assume they are part of the LGBTQ community lol.
I would guess because it seems to pander to the "non-conforming" side of our nation. It isn't a bad word, actually makes sense, but so does boyfriend, girlfriend. Etc, etc. The partnership aspect should be a given in a relationship. If it isn't already there, then using the word isn't going to help anyway.
Partner is what cowboys say.
Yeeeehaaa! Heeey partner. Want a ride on my horse?!
Partner = gay. That is all
Partner just seems like the term you’d use to describe a LT partner that you haven’t married. Nowadays, they’re basically synonymous but 2 generations ago being with someone but unmarried would be a completely different state/type of a relationship
Because ppl are narrow minded
“Partner” is what cis-society allowed gays to become, as placation from actual and full equality.
FTS.
I know i don't.
I used the term Partner/Fiancee interchangeablely because she is more than a GF to me.It denotes how serious the relationship is to me.
I sometimes purposely say partner. I’m pan, so date men and women. Why should or does it matter to people if my ‘partner’ is a man or woman, and frankly: why is it their business?
It makes me think of cowboys and cops shows "howdy partner"
Because it's none of their business and that bothers them
It sounds like you’re gay. Partner used to be the term used for gay couples back when I was younger(in America), so for that generation it can be a little strange to hear it used by straight couples. I think there was a push for all people to use partner so that it stopped being an exclusively gay term. Nothing wrong with that but I think it can throw people off sometimes or sound silly to that generation.
Honestly, I feel like at a certain age the term boyfriend sounds kinda juvenile (for me, I don't care what anybody else calls their significant other) for some reason, I'm in my 40s and met my husband in my mid 30s so felt better saying life partner or my other half or whatever since he's not a boy.
Personally I like partner more. It has a sorta old western vibe like I’m a part time sherif and they are my “potna.”
I don’t think “partner” sounds like your dating. The term doesn’t bother me but I do initially assume it’s a gay relationship, then assume it’s a business relationship. But hey, I’m sure it will eventually grow on me. Same as when people in Home Depot ask “How can I help you boss?” I’m not the boss, where’s the ant poison?
I've never heard anyone scoff at this term before, (But then again, I don't stay very current 😆)
But for me, I always used "Partner" when we weren't married but seriously committed. Girlfriend/Boyfriend seems for relationships that maybe haven't reached that stage yet.
Seems odd someone would have a problem with the term, Can anyone shed some light on why they hate it?
I used to call my boyfriend my partner because we have a house and 3 kids together and "boyfriend" sounds too juvenile and doesn't properly describe what we have together. We're basically common law at this point and I like to call him my ex boyfriend now because we're technically not dating anymore and also because it's confusing to people which is hilarious.
I like the term partner because I am gay, I work with the elderly and some are still uncomfortable with gay people. So if the ask me the usual old people questions like “do you have a girlfriend/ are you married?” Etc I can tell them that I’m engaged to my partner and avoid discussing gender at all
It's inclusive and doesn't reinforce gender roles. I've yet to know anyone who really dislikes "partner" that isn't a bigot of one sort or another.
I’ve been with my partner for 8 years, I have a lot of queer friends who have all agreed, it’s not weird for a pretty much heterosexual relationship to use “partner” as a label. I did have someone once say I was appropriating queer culture and it was incredibly offensive for me to call my person my “partner”. I became incredibly apologetic and quit using it for a while.
Yeah turns out the person I offended wasn’t really a nice person, but it WAS someone mad about me using it!
So other than being someone who MUST constantly be offended on others behalf, I don’t know why people dislike it.
Because some people are homophobic, transphobic, and/or afraid of change.
People are mentally tethered to their ideas of what words are "supposed to mean."
So, when these ideas get "challenged," It's psychologically damaging and dangerous. Personally, I believe there are tiers to this idea, as it's not a one size fits all solution -- and never is.
Take, for instance, the debate around how people take issues with trans people identifying as men or women. Trans people identifying in a way that's suitable and comfortable for them in no way annoys, infuriates, or threatens me.
But for bigoted people, trans men and women are seen as a "threat" to the "idea" of what men and women are supposed to be. These people, in my opinion, view sex and gender through a narrowly defined lense that is not to be trifled with in any way. To them, the male and female sexes are not only synonymous with men and women. They aren't mutually exclusive, ever, and aren't "supposed to be."
But people who think this way forget that language has never been rigid. Language is fluid and changes over time.
It's the same type of rigid thinking about what words are "supposed to mean," or "be used for," that plague the annoyed in regards to others using "partner," in place of boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife.
Have gay and lesbian couples -- or any non heterosexual couple pairings -- used the term "partner" to describe their significant other (another term, by the way)?
Yes.
Is "partner" a mutually exclusive term?
No.
People who argue against this seemingly fail to comprehend that humans could have decided to use any number of terms or phrases we use today in the "opposite way," of what they mean, and it wouldn't be strange.
That's what 95% of people in my country (New Zealand) call their SO.
I feel like partner implies seriousness: "We're in this together" -type of mentality. Commitment. Shared responsibilities.
And as with other words, I would probably glean from the introduction's tone whether the other person is introducing a romantic or a business partner.
Partner has the same energy as Spouse for me.
I like it.
Because it doesn't immediately tell them if you're gay or straight. They want to know which treatment they should give you
It's gender neutral, it's associated with cowboys, etc
It's usually interpreted as big neon sign saying " this is not a cishet relationship" and some people really hate that there is more then cishet relationships in the world.
Personally I have no problem with it. It sounds more like a business arrangement to me. I prefer when gay couples introduce their "partner" as husband/wife/spouse. I do like how the term triggers bigots though.
Religion, bigotry, prejudice, dogma, fear
It’s a gender neutral term and some folks need everything to be “a man and a woman” to feel comfortable or some hog wash.
That term is annoying A.F that's why
I just find it confusing sometimes because until recently I only ever heard gay or lesbian couples use the term so nowadays when people are saying my partner I feel like im missing information because you can’t really assume that they’re not straight when using the term now.
I absolutely hate it. Reminds me of business dealings.
I'm with you on this, partner is my preferred term. I'm in my late thirties and using girlfriend to talk about a person I live with just seems silly.
Sounds so clinical and emotionless to me