Hello, going through a divorce and I have no friends. I'm currently on leave for the next 2 weeks and just wondering what other people do by themselves on leave.
The world is your oyster, you are free to live your life without anchors to hold you down. As suggested, National Parks: Sequioa, Joshua Tree, Yosemite, Redwood, Bryce, Zion, Arches, anything in Sea-Tac area. Live your life and check off the FOMO list.
Hey man-
There's nothing wrong with having a little peace for yourself. I've been divorced twice, and I understand the odd shift that happens when you go from having that personal interaction for (insert time amount here) to zero.
Even when the context is super shitty, you're still connected with somebody.
Honestly I made it a habit to do something each day. I had a calendar and I would find some project or task or activity that I was going to do each day weather permitting and then I just attacked that.
Active stuff is better, but doing some self care stuff is really good too.
Go watch a movie you've been wanting to see and don't worry about if somebody else is going to like it or not.
Go to a restaurant you want to try.
Go get a massage from someplace that won't get raided by the police for doing "extra"
Go sit in a sauna, or go sit by a riverside.
Sort out your thoughts, decide on some goals, start thinking about where you want to be over the next six months, the next year, the next two years, etc.
I know that in this moment it feels l like an end, but I promise you it's just the beginning.
Volunteering and church helped me the most.
The new Elden ring DLC just dropped. I’m not divorced, but I might be soon if I don’t get good.
Edit: not divorced for the second time*
If this ain't the realest shit I've ever read. lmao
Don't date a Russian woman and then go visit her in Russia.
Don't drink. Be at least a little active. Give yourself time to address how you feel.
I went on leave with nothing to do for two weeks after my divorce. At the end of it, my friends all said that I was never allowed to do that again. Got cabin fever super bad.
So, try and create something or improve something. Can you build things? Make a bookshelf. Or a cup or two. Or draw a bit. If you don't know how to do anything creative, dm me and I will help you find something in your area that does classes.
Work on improving yourself a bit as well. Hour or two in the gym each day. Or 30 minutes. Or hell, 15. Just some amount of it. Try and pick up a new skill. Can you play an instrument? If not, an hour or two a day for two weeks can give some good results. Or learn about a new topic. Or get a book on logic problems or sudoku and work on it.
Then, meditate. Or pray, or do breathing exercises or stretches. Or write a journal entry. Just something to calm the mind and clear the head.
Make sure that you're getting plenty of rest, but don't sleep too much. 12 hours in bed 14 days straight will do the opposite of help. On a similar note, make your own meals and try to enjoy eating them. If you can't cook, dm me and I will help you.
If you can, go see some natural attractions in your state. Like a national park, or a wildlife preserve. Nature is simultaneously metal as fuck and peaceful as shit. Can also go to some historical sites. No one has ever been at a disadvantage for knowing too much about history. Did you know that a lot of bases have chunks of the Berlin Wall on display?
Finally, couple hours each day for personal hobbies that don't fall into what I said above. Like the Elden Ring thing someone mentioned. Or watching TV. Or reading. Or painting warhammer miniatures, if you're a nerd.
Last little bit of each day, make sure you're doing your cleaning and personal hygiene. Two weeks of ignoring it is enough to cause months of problems.
Oh, and talk to a therapist or the chaplain when you need to.
This will fill up your day, and you'll come off leave feeling a little better. Obviously not feeling amazing, but better. And then you'll have just a little more strength to take another step. And then another. And another after that.
Basically, use the time to build up good habits, instead of sinking into bad ones.
Go somewhere!!
All I’m hearing is ur promotable to SFC…
For real though man, it’s gonna be alright in the end. Look for some people to talk to ur NCO’s, Chaplins, Online counselors if you’re uncomfortable to do it in person. hell even that one stripper from Sugars. Just remember bro in the end and you yourself are gonna be okay .
Think of a hobby you've had even the slightest interest in and start pursuing that in some way. Obviously I don't know the specifics of your divorce, but I'm sure there's some interest you've sidelined in lieu of being married.
My own divorce taught me a ton about myself and I truly came out better once it was over. I hope the same for you OP.
I go to Vettix.com, they give away free tickets to all types of events to Active/Veterans. (MLB/Concerts/NFL/NBA/Symphonys and more) , heck i wish i would've known about this when i was in active.
Never been divorced but did go through a really bad breakup after deployment right before I started a month leave. Here’s what I did:
Allowed myself to cry and mourn.l, I genuinely feel like this helped out a lot I picked up a new hobby or two Read some new books Got involved in some social clubs Cried again Went to BH and had to sort through my mess Put myself in new environments surrounding new people.
I’m sorry for your divorce Hugs
Bro, go fuck someone, play video games, exercise, read, have fun. It's limitless.
I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. That sucks. Or maybe it doesn't. Either way, you will now have some free time in your hands.
My advice is to fill it. Fill all your free time with worthwhile activities. Seriously invest in yourself and your interests. Have you ever gone sky diving? Scuba diving? Have you ever thought about getting a motorcycle license or wanted a six pack?
Now it's the time. Nothing can stop you but you. Go out there and make yourself proud.
Very sorry to hear that. Sounds like it sucks.
I personally don't try to let my alone time hold me back. Last week I hung out at the beach. I volunteer (that is a good way to make friends too)... volunteer fire/ems/ whatever you want. I go hiking and listen to podcasts.
TRAVEL.
When I had my heart broken I took myself to New Orleans. I spent a day at the WWII museum, I ate some fine food (GW Finn’s is a must), I ate my weight in beignets and I drank endless Pimms cups as I explored the city. I had never been and it became a spiritual refuge for me. Be brave. Go do something you always wanted to do. Spend time by yourself and listen to your own thoughts, bump into interesting people, learn something about yourself. It is absolutely one of the best things you could do for yourself
Uh just make sure you secure all you important shit before leave. Just in case...
Have you tried fishing? It helped me from thinking about my exes for bit. As corny as it sounds, playing Call of Duty works too if you want to stay in the house.
Kinda whored myself out on my first divorce. But I was coming back to active duty and already in the process. Had a lot of fun, did my own thing. No regrets
What I’ve been doing since I’ve been in tbh. Never looked back
Go somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit. Don’t sit at home and stew in this.
Hey! I hope you are okay. If not I'm me I divorced at JBLM. In between oif and of deployment. I drank a lot but going up to the Cascade mountains healed me in way's I'm not sure I can explain. Where are you? What are you in to?..... Avoid the strip club, just an empty waste of $$$$_
Find a cheap hobby that you enjoy and do it, meet someone there and try and befriend them.
For me, it’s bowling. I started going and then I met a guy and we started bowling. Then I met another guy while I was bowling with guy one and we started a bowling team. Now we hang out every week on Thursday and bowl together. We practice on Mondays and Tuesdays and bowl for real on Thursday. I don’t ever get tired of it, and it gets me out of the house.
Find your bowling :-)
Try rock climbing!
Amusement parks.
Hey, I’m going through the same thing. This was my first block leave in 8 years that I’m flying solo.
Honestly? Do your favorite things. You like to fish? Camp? Go out and don’t worry about anything.
Into skydiving? No better time than to send it.
Take your hobbies and get after them! Nobody is stopping you. Find your happiness, enjoy yourself.
Also don’t forget about the gym, gotta look good for the next one
Going anywhere? Check out the solo travel subreddit. Go camping in a national park. Give a very tired Marine crayons. The world is yours