Natuturn off na ko sa boyfriend ko for 10 years

Maybe if you leave him, thats the time he'll man up.

Edit: This isn't the time na "im with u in ur darkest days". Mahirap tulungan ang taong hindi tinitulungan ang sarili.

Imagine getting married to that guy and spend the rest of your life. Geez, the agony and suffering you'll endure.

Wow! Your post was 1 year ago na, pero walang plot twist sa partner?

Personally, I'd tell him everything and I'll leave him for those reasons. He is already an adult. Kahit hindi niya alam lahat, he should be able to learn how to act and be one (adult). He should also know how to regulate his emotions. Baka need na niyang mag-consult sa mental health professional - para na rin siguro to guide him sa mga possible careers na pwede or angkop sa skills niya.

Ayaw ko na rin kasi sa draining relationship dahil it also affected my mental health.

Personally, i'll cut him off. He's an anchor. Dont waste your youth on someone like this. Malay mo yung pagalis mo pala need nya to grow.

It will be a favor for humanity if you don't date losers. It will be a disservice to humanity if you let them propagate their genes.

Bread winner + Sugar mommy ka.

KANTOT LANG ANG PAKINABANG 🤣 sperm lang ang puhunan

Hirap ng buhay now.

If ganyang life gusto mo, may asawa kang ngpapalaki lng ng bayag sa bahay ... then ikaw if dyan ka masaya.

Darating time magkakasakit pa yan at ikaw sasalo lahat.

TIME TO LET GO.

Sayang time pero di maganda future mo.

Mahirap na life ... wag kang magdagdag ng isa pa.

If BABAE yan and LALAKE ka then pwde pa. Kasi may gagawa ng chores sa babay, magpapalaki ng bata, hatid sundo sa school. Bago ka umalis e may breakfast ka, pagdating mo gabi e may dinner ka. Healthy yan. Kaso ikaw ang babae 🤣 (malamang ikaw din gagawa ng lahat ng yan lol dahil baka sabihin sayo "porket wala ako trabaho gagawin mo na akong katulong")

Hi OP I think dumaan sa depression and trauma ang bf mo. I have this friend na similar ang reactions. She graduated naman but throughout her college days, laging may problems and awayan sa family nila so I think may emotional trauma. 15 years na xa after gumraduate nasa bahay lang, walang trabaho and yung mama nya bumubuhay sa kanya. And yun nga pag nag uusap kami, nagagalit xa agad pag trabaho yung pinag uusapan. I spoke with her siblings kasi friend ko din sila and pinasa Diyos nalang daw nila na one day magising siya at mag apply na ng trabaho.

please do not procreate with him pleaaaase

maybe he needs a push na magpatingin at magpatherapist. maybe he also needs encouragement from his family, yung palibutan siya ng supportive environment kasi parang may something off sakanya, demotivated din gaya ng sabi mo. hindi ako psychiatrist o psychologist para mag assume ng diagnosis pero mas mainam na ipacheck up yung sudden behavioral changes. also open up to him kung ano nararamdaman mo, at kausapin masinsinan kung makakatulong ba yung space o break up para mag grow kayo pareho at mahanap niya rin yung gusto niyang gawin

Maawa sana ako kaso sinabe mo na nag ka opportunities n pla sya, so self inflicted yang slump nya...

Depressed Yan Kasi di sya makakuwa Ng 6digits wfh job na pa basa Basta lang Ng emails, super choosy kahit di nmn sya worthy.

Tas nagshushutdown on the first sign of pressure? Sang basurahan mo nadampot Yan op???

Alam mo teh leave him na as early as now. Tama na yung 10 years na sinayang mo with him. Mahalin mo naman sarili mo. Kasi pag inantay mo yan sya maging successful, ikaw naman iiwanan nya. Why? Kasi you're a constant reminder for him ng mga failures nya. Men are prideful and egotistical. So habang kaya mo pa kumalas ka na. You wouldn't wanna build a man for another woman siguro no? Bob the builder ka teh???

Been in your bf's position pero di kasing lala. I'm not fully recovered yet pero im glad my gf and parents are there to support me para ma overcome yung lack of confidence ko at mental struggle.

It's true ang lala ng bf mo now and I'm not here to side with him pero grabe lang ang bilis ng mga tao sa reddit mag hop in and call your bf all sorts of things and go as far as to say na pabigat, loser, etc. Siguro ask yourself if you've tried everything na talaga including encouraging him to seek professional help or life coaching. If tingin mo you've tried everything and wala padin that's the time you give up.

I know di naman kayo tatagal ng 10 yrs if your bf didnt have any good qualities at all. Don't let these public executors dictate your relationship or decide kung ano talaga yung bf mo. Only him knows his potential, di namin kilala yung bf mo.

Yan yung type ng tao na pag nagkaanak, they look at their kids as their health insurance, pension plan and ATM all in one.

Oh and tingin nila sa asawa eh katulong.

Kung hindi mo hihiwalayan, you deserve all of these.

Ganyan ako noon, sobrang nega sa sarili. Nawalan ng drive. Iniwan ako ng gf ko. Surprisingly, dun ako natuto. Bumalik din kahit pano ang confidence. Nakabangon na rin emotionally and financially.

I was a loser back then. Had the most negative outlook in life and I sucked at pretty much everything. But my girlfriend helped me. Apparently, I had a mental disorder. And we both addressed it together.

Today, we earn 700k a month together and my life has turned around because of her.

I guess I’m lucky that she supported a loser like me.

He has depression. Quick to judge mga tao dito, pero halata na depression.

Possible na hindi nya sinusubukan kasi iniisip nya agad na hindi maganda, or hindi nya makukuha, or failure siya. So self-deprecating, parang ako lang nung may depression.

Puro bobo talaga mga nandito, tinutulungan dapat ang mga may problema, hindi dinuduraan at ibababa pa lalo, shame on all of you.

Sad boy, na ayaw magtrabaho

You deserve what you tolerate. Pero yuck sa palamunin.

Yung ex bf ko, ganyan din. ni hndi makapag tapos high-school. akala ng family nya ako magiging reason para makapag tapos. iniwan ko ksi wla akong future sa kanya, baka kahirapan oo. laging mamanipulahin isip mo. ngayon pasalamat ako sa sarili ko ksi iniwan ko haha

Sana naman di mo na gawing 11 years

Iwan mo na yan, deadweight yan. Idadamay ka lang nyan sa negative life nya.

Been there, tapos parang ikaw pa masama kasi di supportive or ma-annoy ng slight.

Grabe, mahirap being positive for you and him, binubuhat mo kayo dalawa pero sya hinahatak un mental being mo pababa.

Gets ko naman kung bumagsak ulit sya for the nth time, kaya ko naman maging supportive. Pero di ko kaya un for every unfavorable situation, negatron mode.

He really needs to compromise pgdating sa work.

Pero if you need advise on how to support him pa, yung mga advice sa first post is all you need. They are very well said.

He needs professional help for his mental health. If you still want or love him, stay. If fed up kana sa situation nyo, or pagod kana leave him for your peace of mind and para narin sa mental health mo. for me nakaka-drain yung ganyan

My ex din ako, na sobrang introvert, tinutulungan ko rin sya before sa mga issues nya sa mga bagay bagay, ang ending iniwan ko sya dahil napagod narin ako, para akong nanay 😅. Pero ngayon balita ko he's improving na. He can do things on his own now.

You NEED to leave him. Wala mangyayari jan kung anjan ka pa na nakikinig sa mga excuses niya. Kailangan niya mapag isa para realize niya na wala siya choice kundi mag move forward.

Edit: oh 1 year ago na pala yung previous post mo OP, mukhang kailangan nga niya ng professional help. Maybe you should let his parents know.

Ako rin mga 2-3yrs bago magka-first work. Na-pre-pressure rin yan kaya natri-trigger.

Pero huwag kang kumuha ng batong ipupukpok sa ulo mo, ha.

it might benefit him if you leave him, baka matauhan naa sya at magbago

Maawa ka sa sarili mo OP.

I think best you can do to help is to encourage him to go to therapy. He needs professional help to get himself out of where he is and how he sees himself. There's so much internal struggles on his end and this is not your job to fix but his.

He probably just needs a guide that won't dictate that you should be this or you should think of that.

I think it provides pressure on him.

He just needs a wake up call to his expectations. Make it more pragmatic.

Anyway, if he needs a career advisor check u/cacille Cheers :)

I’m sorry OP you’re experiencing this, but I think he needs professional help.

I know how it feels to be this dissappointed and depressed to yourself, and oo it will make you push people out of your life. I think your partner is almost dead inside, I’ve been there and it is not easy. It took me years to finally see light.

Just so you know, he is not your responsibility. And it is also not your responsibility to heal him. The only person who can heal him is hisself. If you truelly love him, encourage him to see light, to not give up on himself. And also try to make him get professional help. But remember to always prioritize yourself. If it’s already affecting your mental health too, it’s okay to distance yourself to him. I must just warn you that leaving him may either wake him up or make him more depressed, basta whatever happens (wag naman), always remember na you did nothing wrong.

I suggest if you will leave him, reach out to his family (or maybe closest friend) and explain the situation. It will make you feel less guilty of leaving him and also for someone to look after him.

The negative self-talk is holding him back. Maybe he has depression or something. It depends on you if you want to help him but first he must help himself.

Never tolerate and accept bad behaviors just because you understand it.

He is only thinking of himself. Clearly, he is lacking empathy or worse, an absence of empathy. Choosing only himself over the health of your relationship signifies that he doesn't value your relationship.

It's his responsibility to fix himself, not yours.

You deserve what you tolerate sis, yun lang. 😌

I've experienced the same thing. Years without work and no motivation. I decided to get myself checked sa mood clinic. Found out I had depression. Don't leave him yet. Help him get checked. Follow dr's advice. Then, if he doesn't change even after a few months, decide if you want to try longer or leave him.

severe depression. i can relate, but thankfully i didn't have a partner and i wasn't an adult yet but i genuinely relate to his mindset: "what's the point of trying?" it's a difficult place to be in and it's hard to get out once you'v hit rock bottom. leaving him won't make him "man up" like others have said, but also, leaving him is totally valid. if you have done everything you can and it has cost you so much, it is perfectly understandable for you to let go. but remember, this is a person suffering. leaving him would either mean almost life or death—it could drive him further into depression, which is highly likely, or it will serve as his tipping point, which would be a slim chance since it has been going on for years. the best thing you can do right now is talk to him about his mental health and to GET PROFESSIONAL HELP. it's true that you can't help someone who can't help themselves but maybe, just maybe, it would be you that would spark that hope in him once more. but realize this; it's not your job, by all means. you are free to leave. but also just know this is an opportunity to help a suffering loved one. your call. do what you think is best for you and for him.

You know OP I do have an underrated takes in here. Let alone majority dito sa reddit comments masyadong dinodown and name calling lalo BF mo which in fact na mas kilala mo naman sya kumpara sa amin. It ain't good na mapadala ka lalo sa emotion mo dahil marami nagsasabi sayo here na mag break kayo nalang... However, Im not tolerating din naman yung mga cases na if meron man na ikaw ay na emotional or physical abuse.

Anyway heres my take, One thing for sure is that your BF has probably a serious mental health problems or let alone depression. Hindi biro yan, seriously may mabigat syang inner demons na kinakalaban. Lalo na sa nag nenegative reflect sya dahil sa marami syang overthinking thoughts na inisip nya failures and so on...I suggest siguro na need talaga nya ng support hugely from his Family too and probably on his side too para din siguro if possible may therapy session na come to the point.

And naniniwala ako na hindi yan ang kanyang katapusan, Darating din ang time na makaka fully recover sya and ayaw ko din naman yung araw na dumating yung time na fully recovered sya, stabled na at may magandang trabaho tsaka kapa nawala sa kanya which is nasa huli ang pagsisisi. I believe naman sayo OP for the 10 years may Good And Redeeming qualities naman yang BF mo... I think patience is one thinf virtue na meron ka din ans hopefully it goes on. Maraming maganda padin mangyayari sa kanya

Also your BF is not a LOSER... This is one of the times probably na he showed his emotional vulnerability na sobrang bihira ipakita sa isang relationship and which might seemed to be a courageous way.

Anyways, Much Harmony hopefully goes well more into your relationship! Nawa'y makausad at makalipas din ang ganitong suliranin ng BF mo.

It's okay to let go kasi it's not working for you anymore, and he's not doing anything to help himself. Ganyan na siya for years so any hope na he'll change for you seems out of the table. Think of yourself kasi he's not thinking of you. He needs help, but it shouldn't come from you, nor should it come at the cost of your own happiness pa. You did enough.

People don't just change. Wag ka na magexpect he will excel in life. Either accept or walk away. Sayang oras OP! Wag magpabuntis utang na loob!!!!!

dapat po ata nagtritrigger warning ka pag trabaho ang topic

Try to help him muna. mababa self esteem nya. Pero if wala ng pag-asa, let him go na. Mahirap maging asawa yung ganyan.

I’ve had two ex boyfriends na ganyan. Ayaw magtrabaho. Hahahaha. Kingina nila. Di ko sila bubuhayin. Sarili ko na lang bubuhayin ko. 😂✌️

Dalhin mo sa psychologist! Im sure it has something to do with imbalance sa utak. ( i forgot kung exact term yun )

Nasabi ko yan dahil nakaka relate ako sa bf mo. Lalo na sa backstory mo na depressed siya (for years)

Long story short, my advice to you OP bring him to psychologist !!! Last resort to!

my ex was similar to yours, pero friends nalang kami ngayon. (TL;DR: yes mag break kayo, pero seek professional help for both and do small check-ins parin)

long explanation:

I encouraged him to do a psych check up kahit sa pgh man lang kase nga NEET (no employment, education or training) siya ngayon and libre naman need lang appointment. I was happy to guide him sa pagappoint kase ito rin first F2F psych consultation ko. But no, he didn't want to.

He said he had plans naman daw and he knows what to do. I think 1 year na kaming break, he is the same person he is now. (mind you up until now di pa rin siya graduate sa college, puro gaming lang siya).

I rarely talk to him about personal plans na. I don't want to think of him as sayang or tamad kase when you're depressed you really won't think properly, you can't also encourage yourself to get help that you deserve since nasa same scenario or surroundings ka lang. So far, he's done little steps naman na such as socially interacting again. I acknowledge what he has done no matter how small para at least may reason siya for living. Though, IDK if it matters to him basta alam ko I try to acknowledge his presence pa rin.

Best would be break up with him and try to do as little check-ins nalang hoping he changes. Try to not be nosy lang kase that would trigger them more on thinking of what's the point if I tried this XXX times. Then I suggest you both seek professional help na pero seperately.

Depression isn't a joke but also please take a look out for yourself too.

I have magjowa na friends exactly like this but I used to talk to the guy more.

Honestly, I'm losing hope for their relationship. Ang hirap nya din tlga ipush kasi hindi sya nawawalan ng excuses. But it all boils down to his self-confidence. He's scared. He has low self-esteem. The issue is deeper than his unemployment.

Naspoil daw sya as a kid and lahat ginawa ng parents nya para sakanya so he never learned to do anything by himself. He can't even post on social media, appear on reunions, etc and even he knows na he would understand kahit na masakit if makikipagbreak si girl sakanya. He has accepted his own misery rather than face and challenge his own internal struggles.

Ako nga as a friend, give up nadin sakanya kaya medyo di konasya knakausap cos of his negative views, I cant imagine what the gf has to face everyday.

I think the most you can do is try to help him address this, through therapy, or something. If hndi talaga sya magttry padin, then it's your choice to make if you'll want to be with someone with zero self-esteem and whos not even trying to be better.

Baka ayaw lang talaga magtrabaho.

I mean kung may options naman pala na madali, kung gusto nya talaga magtrabaho, bakit sya magchu-choosy?

Unless may nagpoprovide sa kanya ng mga luho nya pala, talagang hindi nya iisipin na need nya ng work.

Saan po ba mkkahanap ng jowa na susuportahan ka financially until makahanap ng trabaho and magong stable 😂

You better leave him, nagiging independent yan sya sa iyo. And di ka rin gaanong mahal yan kasi hindi niya iniisip future ninyo at mararamdaman mo na dapat sya sana ung provider sa inyong dalawa.

Sobrang tyaga mo para magstay sa ganyang tao. Ok pa if he was busy trying to make himself out of something by starting businesses left and right kahit gaano kaliit. Pero kung walang pampuhunan gotta start somewhere. I'd say i think 5 years is wayy too long for someone not to habe work

Pano mo natagalan ng 10 years yang sadboi na yan

Ok lang iyan if stable Ang sugar mommy

I think naging complacent na yan kasi nandiyan ka. Your relationship will not do any good for both of you.

Baka you two need to grow apart na :(

Tbh. He’s a grown man. 🙃 Clearly you are mothering him. He won’t change. He should be an ASSET sa buhay mo, not a LIABILITY. Hays

i also have this college friend na wlang work after graduating in college and that was 2 years ago. I myself di naka graduate kasi kulang financially. then this friend of my has the guts to have girlfriend who's self supporting. wala naman kaso na mag jowa pero realistically speaking, sa hirap ng buhay ngayon mahirap ang walang experience lalo na sa bansa natin. hopefully na magkaroon ulit sya ng motivation mag hanap ng work.

Wala ba bilib sa sarili? or tamad lang sadya? I mean sa hirap ng buhay ngayon ang hirap ng walang trabaho. Pero may kakilala ako same situation mo walang balak yung guy mag work naka asa lang sa parents nya and she w/ her girlfriend for 14 yrs pero hindi din sila nag katuloyan sa dulo. Nasawa din kasi yung girl ipush yung lalaki na mag work by the way breadwinner din si Ate gurl ka yon naiwan na nya talaga si guy. Ang hirap sabayan ng taong wala ata gusto mangyari sa buhay nila lalo kung bilang babae ang dami mo pangarap.

break mo na teh, yan nag pinaka mahirap pakisamahan yung nag seself pity

In short, tamad yang jowa. He us just making excuses. Iwan mo na yan kung ayaw mong ikaw pa bumuhay sainyo pag dumating kayo sa kasalanan. Pero if kebs lang sayo, go deserve mo naman pala yan.

Iwanan muna kung ayaw mong mahatak/madamay pababa.

Always choose yourself, period.

Lagi nyang sasabihing basura sya. Disappointment sya. Wala syang kwenta etc.

Ang sagot eh "you're right, and I deserve better" turn around and walk away.

Paulit ulit na lang. Kakapagod na sumuporta at magmotivate ng taong walang bilib sa sarili.

The mindset na nya ngayon ay "I'm being taken care of, I'm content with what I have, why change a set up that works" which is partially your fault kasi kinunsinte mo na din sya, unfortunately.

Dont fall for the sunk cost fallacy

Omg same experience

Di siya advice pero watch mo yung Us and Them. Halos same situation kayo ni FL. Nung iniwan niya boyfriend niya, dun siya nagpursigi.

You are not his therapist and if he needs some help with his mental health dapat sa professional siya lumapit. If he is willing to do that. Bata ka pa and 10 years is a very long time. You have to think of yourself too. Hindi mo siya responsibilidad, parehas kayong adults so dapat matuto siyang kumayod. Kung di siya matututo, iwan mo na iyan. Hihilain ka lang niya pababa.

Girl runnn!

I agree with others to split up, ang makakatulong na lang sa kanya at this point ay therapy. Nabugbog na confidence niya from failing and yung walang nagrereach out. It's called learned helplessness probably iniisip niya marereject lang naman siya so why try (even if it is unconsciously kaya siya choosy). Hindi pa rin nating masasabi if u leaving would be the trigger para magchange siya he could get worse but if that happens remember di mo kasalanan yon and wag ka maguilty bumalik. He's a grown man.

You know the saying breakup starts the moment you thought of doing it

So op, probably on your mind you already left him. Di mo palang ma process life is surely better out there, not because of other people but because no- one is weighing you down. I think this breakup will do you both better

Its hard especially 10 years, all your life youve been known to be together

But you’re more than a girlfriend. At this point someone should be building the future with you na, not stuck in trying to rehabilitate someone

Try helping him by funding the therapy, if you’re willing to do that.

Have an ex like that. Broke up with him. It’s not worth it. He is not manning up because you are his fall back - in layman’s, sugar mommy. Left him and yun dun na siya nagstart maghanap ng job. At the same time good things started happening to me. Meaning he’s the biggest weight on my shoulder dragging me down from better things.

HIWALAYAN MO NA TE NG MATAUHAN. 10 YEARS IS ENOUGH.

be true to him

Split na yan. Mama's boy yan. At wala yang kwentang ama kung sakaling magkapamilya na kayo.

grabe naman yung 4years !! lalake ako pero di ako sumusuko maghnap ng work 4 mo nako tengga pero dhl na din saturated yung job market ngayon sa field ko kya mhirap din, samahan na ng techlayoffs . maraming factors actually 1 mo kasi ako nagpahinga.kya mahirap but i already have experience before from it grad and cx background. pero realtalk lang mas mahirap ang kompetisyon sa mga lalake kaysa sa babae. you cant blame him din naman. pero 4 yrs is enough time to be able to find a job.

Malay mo parang Starting Over Again, kung kailan ka umalis don siya naging better. 😌😁

Maybe he's getting by despite working. A man can really do anything for his needs (hopefully not sucking someone else's resources).

I think you need to part ways. Hindi sya nag.ggrow. ayaw nya actually. Tsk tsk

Hard to help someone who can’t help themselves

E ano pang ginagawa mo jan? That's what you get on getting a BOYfriend, exactly, you got a BOY not a Man.

Ewan ko lang ahh pero ikaw mas nakaka kilala sakanya so ikaw lang din mismo nakaka alam kung ano dapat mo gawin. Worst things you could do is ask for a relationship advice sa socmed.

Well, for my experience naman na bakante rin ako sa work for almost 5years like wala ako ginagawa talaga Computer, Gala, Bisyo lang. wala naman akong obligasyon, di naman karera ang buhay para makipag unahan. Pero heto na ako ngayon working as a Real Estate Broker. With a 6Digit monthly income.

And yes may Gf ako that time no rush naman kami that time talagang may tamang panahon para sa lahat.

Hindi porke nag work sakin yung gantong sitwasyon is para sa lahat na. Just saying lang na may tamang pagkakataon para sa tamang panahon

Communication is the key 🔑

Iwan na yan sad boi 🫣 wala akong makitang future. Baka ikaw lang bumuhay jan

You can support him all you want but at the end of the day siya lang din makakapagayos sa sarili nya. He needs to be accountable with his own life like how you are accountable for your own. It’s his responsibility to make his life better. Siya lang din makakapagbago sa sarili nya. He can change if he really wants to.

I know people that are like this. They don't change. Kahit ilan na nag attempt na tulungan sila, wala talagang kusa magsumikap sa buhay. Iwan mo na. Di mo kayang tulungan at taong ayaw tulungan ang sarili nila.

Did he pass the board exam?

Realtalkin mo OP. Kalalaking tao gusto yata maging trophy husband siya kahit wala naman siya ambag.

Girl! Leave' pls! just leave.. Believe me, Ikaw din mahihirapan

Run!!!!! 10 years is more than enough time for him to turn his life around. You can’t do that for him kung ayaw nya mismo. Need to start trusting your gut feeling. It’s telling you to leave him. You know it’s the right thing to do.

Go na, te. Hindi na love ang usapan dito.

You deserve what you tolerate. Kaya niya nagagawa yan kasi iniisip nya okay lang sayo. Kasi you let him. Tapos paulit-ulit lang. Oks naman yung for good times and bad times, pero 10 years? Pano pag nagkaanak na kayo, ikaw ulit lahat?

You deserve better. You owe it to yourself to let him go. Hindi ka naman siguro pinag-aral, at nagkaron ng magandang trabaho, para mag-settle sa ganyan.

IWAN MO NA AH TANGA YAN E.

I read something from IG I think. Parang ganto yung sentence: "Weak man creates a hardship, and hardship creates a strongman."

Kapag na realized ng bf mo na walang wala na sya, baka sakaling mag man up sya para sa sarili nya.

Honestly if your presence doesnt motivate him maybe your absence will.

Leave. Despite what people say, you cant FULLY grow when youre in a relationship. You should grow din. You've alr devoted 10 years.

4 to 5 years is such a long time na nakatengga. Kaya cguro hindi makahanap ng job dahil uusisain yan ng company kung ano ginawa nia sa 4-5 yrs na yun.

iwan mo. dont be a fixer. you will down with him for sure.

It’s time to let go. I don’t think he sees you as a partner kasi, if he does, mag-eeffort siya ayusin sarili niya for your future with him.

Mayari ba sila ng company or business? Or tagapagmana ba siya? Dahil kung hindi, wala ka mararating sa sadboi na yan, umempake ka na, baka dun din siya magising. Ngayon pa lang narealize mo na ang worth mo, siya hindi pa. Thats a long time giving someone a chance to prove their worth to you ah.

Been there done that. Just leave. Di kawalan yung lalaking walang plano sayo. Di naman pwedeng ikaw ang bubuhay sa magiging family nyo kahit sabihin nya pa na hindi ganon mangyayari.

I wonder what if you show this post to him so that he knows what other people might think of his current behavior. Maybe this will get him fired up or something, idk. Well, I hope he'd respond positively.

That's a literal child, not a partner. Leave him, you've already sacrificed enough & you've tolerated enough. Relationships are mostly 50-50 but some do 50-60. Girlipop, you've been doing 90-10. Okay lang sa kanya maging ganyan kasi may sumosupporta, ikaw.

Spoiled na yan, hindi mo yan maaasahan lalo na if balak niyo magka-pamilya/magpakasal/maglive-in. Ikaw lagi hahanap ng diskarte para sa inyong dalawa.

Run.

Is that how you want to be loved for the rest of your life? If not, leave.

This was my dad many many years ago. Naturally na matalino syang tao, pero for some reason, di pumasa 2x sa boards nya.

Ang bilis madishearten, kwento ni mama.

Kaya binigyan ng ultimatum. "Ipasa mo boards mo, o maghiwalay tayo?" "Kung hindi mo na kaya, lalo na ako. Unuwi ka na lang sainyo"

Ayun, pumasa on the 3rd take.

Later, nang nauso na ang therapy. Nag therapy sila.

Hi OP, I was diagnosed din with depression and I know how it feels. Hindi din talaga sya madali. Pero at the end of the day, it's your choice if gusto mong tulungan sarili mo.

If he wants to fix himself, if he really want to man up. He will. Specially if may opportunities na pala na dumadating sa kanya. Let's be real, magchochossy pa ba sa mahal ng bilihin?

Normal Lang na madapa tayo sa buhay, ang importante marunong tayo tumayo ulet at lumaban. Si Boyfriend mo nung nadapa, humiga na e.😮‍💨

You shouldn’t hold on to him just because 10 years na kayo, if he truly wants you to be his Queen then he better be a good provider. Wag mong kunsintihin ang mali, graduate na kayo at di ka nya nanay para alagaan sya. Real talk, di ganyan ang traits ng lalaki na makakapagbigay sayo ng maganda future.

OMG! Pano ka nakatagal ng ganyan? Walang pangarap sa life 🥴 pano sya nabubuhay? Asa sa magulang? Ghorl, focus on you. Iwanan mo lahat ng pabigat.

As a guy na nasa parehong sitwasyon nya (like literally same, except I'm single) I would just breakup with him if I'm in your shoes..

Even I couldn't get myself to even try pursuing someone kasi I don't want anyone na mag suffer with me if ever sinagot ako ng girl.

And you? You're gonna suffer with him if you stay. Antagal na pala nyang ganyan eh.

(from someone who is formerly the same as the boyfriend). Call him out. Cite sources about the bad behaviour he is exhibiting. Then breakup(not cool-off). Give a hint na kung magbabago sya, magbabalikan kayo.

The breakup is needed para maisip nya na mali ginagawa nya. The breakup will serve as a wake up call for him. Yes, he will mope, be depressed, etc. but what we want is to force him to realize na mali yung ginagawa nya. Worst case scenario for him is he wont break his bad habits and forever be a sadboy. Best case scenario he will change. Wag natin icondone yung maling behavior ng partner natin dahil lamg mahal natin sila. Either way, its a win win for you.

Sounds toxic. Makes me assume you’re the bank account he chose to live off of. Sorry but you definitely deserve better

Baka hindi work ang calling nya? baka naman business ang gusto nya talaga. like ano ba hobby nya (except games) na he shines best? Baka doon may opportunity di lang nabibigyan ng chance. try nyo?

Current partner's like this.

We have kids. I'm the only one working. He had a good-paying job before but he left it and went into hiding when we had a big fight when I was two weeks postpartum. He seemed to have no motivation in life, he would give up so easily.

He came back after months without contact, and I gave him another chance tho it wasn't the first time he abandoned me.

He had been jobless for many months now, relying on me who was getting zero from my salary, and when I lost thousands of my money because of him, he abandoned us again.

Then, he came back when he heard that our baby was rushed to the hospital.

He still have no work. I am not getting anything from my salary because of loans greater than what I'm earning.

I was crying and telling him how hard it is to be in my position of being his wife, he was mad again for thinking I am pressuring him because I was asking if he has any backup plans.

Then, he started blaming me for spending money for us and feeding him properly. He was actually blaming me for taking responsible for his supposed obligations. Like parang kasalanan ko pa na ginastos ko ang pera ko sa amin na bakit ko raw siya pinapakain, na hindi naman daw niya ako pinilit.

I was flabbergasted. We were in my office. I was working overtime. I was crying.

I have abandonment issues. I can't bear for my kids to be fatherless. But, I can't let this go on.

So, I have decided to just wait for the time na maubos na ako ng di niya namamalayan. Will just wait to be unmarried in our marriage. And, then I'll feel nothing when I have decided na it's time to leave. For now, I'll keep trying reconstructing my life despite the endless times I'm hitting the rock bottom.

Kudos to the man admitting he's trash hahaha. No work pero tapos naman pala? Naol, while I'm trying to find new work to support myself para makapag patuloy. Had a friend like that, kami na rin nagsawa na pagsabihan to find his spark and path, he's too toxic sa pagseself-pity palagi kaya decided to cut him off na lang. To you OP, may you find the courage to open up yourself into a newer chapter, wag ka naman maging selfish sa sarili mo. Fck that love is blind haha. Praktikal na ngayon bes! If he can't get up, you have to get up.

Ang matutulong mo sakanya ay iwanan sya para magising sya.

Habang nagiisip ka, give him an ultimatum. Get a job or you leave him.

LET GO OP. IF HE REALLY LOVES YOU, HE WILL CHANGED THAT HABITS FOR YOU. No one can fix him if ayaw nya tulungan yung sarili nya. Mauubos ka lang sa huli. Don't be a wife for a girlfriend price.

Hiniwalayan ko nga yung ex ko bc I was the one spending for our dates kahit na sya yung nag-aaya 🤣. Let's go for a guy na may 'provider mindset'. It's a man's job to provide and protect, allowing us to stay in our feminine energy, instead of becoming masculine in a relationship with a toxic masculine boyfriend!

ganyan tatay ko . apaka tamad . batugan . sobrang daming dahilan tas lagi nakasisi kay mama . araw-araw siya problema ni mama, tas samin nagsasabi si mama, sobrang nakakarindi na paulit-ulit nalang yung rants ni mama, parang gusto ko nalang umiyak kasi ang toxic tas hindi pa namin maiwan or mahiwalayan ni mama. yung stress na dapat dun sa tatay e napupunta sa nanay, tas nirarant samin ni mama so ang ending pati kaming mga anak nasstress. walang pera si papa sa totoo lang, kay mama lahat ng pera na hawak niya, tas ang 'diskarte' niya lagi is mangutang tas sweldo ni mama pambayad. punyeta lang. walang kwenta. walang silbi, tas pag di pumapasok walang ginagawa kundi mag ML mag damag, tas si mama maghapon sa trabaho pag uwi niya siya pa magaasikaso ng ilang gawaing bahay na dapat gawain ng asawa niya.

punyeta humaba na comment ko 😭 pati ako naparant sorry. 😆

makipagbreak ka na.. mahirap yung ganyan, ang masama pa jan, hahatakin ka nya pababa kasama nya.. unless gusto mo maging emo.

Mauubos ka girl. You have done enough. Di ka nya pwedeng sisihin in case iwanan mo sya. Mhirap tulungan ang taong ayaw magpatulong. Leave. Get a life.

I knew a lot of female friends who left their long-term partners because of the same problem, and they’re now living their best lives! Bigla sila nagka breakthrough (promotion, getting their dream job, marriage, etc) And the exes suddenly did man up after the break up, naging wake up call nila yun… too late!

Tama yung mga comments here. If you can’t leave him, at least don’t marry him or have a child with him. Isang araw magigising ka nalang, ayaw mo na. At least madali kumalas.

Ask yourself OP. Nakikita mo ba ang sarili mong kasama sya sa future? Or nakikita mo lang na kasama sya sa future kung OK ang lahat? If the latter, you dont deserve him and he dont deserve you. In this life wether we like it or not dadaan at dadaan tayo in some form of depression and stagnation. For some simple lang ung pinagdadaanan ng bf mo maybe bcoz hnd pla nararanasan madepressed but for some na nakaranas na din madepressed will know na need ng bf mo ng tulong. Ang dali kasing sabihin na 'kung ako bf mo, ganito gawin ko ganyan gawin ko etc etc", because were not in his shoes. Some even commit suicide because of simple things like natalo lang sa singing contest? Hindi lang naging valedictorian?. At the end of the day you have to choose and no judgement. Are you a woman that wants to help a man to be the king he needs to be? Or are you a woman that wants a man thay is already a king? 

Here we go with the Reddit Hive Mind. Pag ganitong post talaga, everyone runs into the "break mo na yan" comments.

A 10 year relationship is not that easy to break away from. Sana kung abusive yung relationship then ibreak up niya na talaga. Give the man a choice from his predicament. Let him work on himself or break up na talaga dahil hindi na gagana yung ganun after so many years.

Ilang beses na nga bumagsak sa board exams, which could also be the reason from the lack of motivation, pababagsakin pa lalo. If given a choice to at least improve despite that, and magsucceed, then good for them. If hindi, since given an ultimatum, edi find a way to break up. Simple and realistic. This way, you gave the man an ultimatum, and alam niya kung ano mangyayari sa kanila depende sa pipiliing choice ni guy.

Mag isip isip na

nakatiis ka pa talaga ng isang taon teh? nabasa ko ito 1 year ago. wala pala nagbago. good luck sayo.

makipag break ka na. you did your part.

Paabutin mo muna ng 20 years anteh at baka sakaling magbago pa yan. Juskopo

TW: JOB ‼️‼️

Shift + Ctrl + Win + Alt + L

GUHRL! RUUUUUUUUUN! Hahaha i've been there! To the point na ako pa gumgawa ng resume niya and nag sa submit sa linkedIn/Jobstreet. Sinasamahan ko pang mag exam/interview. Pero waley. HAHAHA. LEAVE. NOW.

A year ago yung post? Walang improvement? Alam mo na OP ang kailangan mong gawin. Nagawa mo na part mo sa loob ng 10years na magkasama kayo..

Kung ayaw nya talagang tulungan sarili nya, choice nya yun..

Kailangan mo na ng freedom

He's been on depressive mode for so long and i think the culprit is yung disappointment niya sa sarili niya for not passing the board nang paulit ulit. Sorry to say this but he has to seek clinical help. Triggers will still linger kasi yon ang reality niya.