Me (30f) and my boyfriend (29m)have been together for over 5 years. a few years ago we found out I was pregnant and was so happy about it but sadly I had a miscarriage. I felt numb and was in pain. But even tho I was the one suffering physically and emotionally his friend convinced him he should be hurting to the point that he made the whole thing about himself and accused me of exaggerating and should take care of his. I didn’t and just ignored him. Fast forward a few years we’re still together and I’m pregnant. I haven’t told him because I don’t know what kind of reaction he’ll have and i just want peace. He’s he’s the dad. I feel like I want to give him the negative and leave and by reacting i mean like if I bring up the miscarriage he’ll get super dramatic about it and pretend to cry
Would I be the AH if I gave my bf a fake negative pregnancy test
Lying to your boyfriend is not a good idea. Lie after lie after lie only causes distrust. Trust is similar to glass, once shattered; will never be the same. You cannot hide a pregnancy, you either are or are not pregnant. Lastly, it's unwise to get pregnant and NOT be married. You're already acting like grown adults, so just get married like normal adults? Anyway, if you had a miscarriage in the past, okay now what? Can you re-animate the dead? Do we just sit and cry about it forever and do nothing? No, so try to move on from it, it's easier said than done. Remember this, there are people that try and fail pregnancy, be happy you can and have done it again successfully. You're also 29, you're plenty young and in time, you're not in a race.
If your bf was happy that you were pregnant the first time, he shouldn't be sad or upset the second time.. right? If the miscarriage was unintentional, then you shouldn't feel bad. I am hoping your boyfriend has more than 6 functioning braincells and understands that a miscarriage is no one's fault, it cannot be helped... right? I'm not going to drone like an engineer any further on this subject.
By the facts of the story here, it appears everything occurred to you out of bad luck, yes? Lying won't help you when seeking honesty, so don't fib anymore. Dishonest input grants you dishonest output, you will never need a good memory if you tell the truth. To put it in perspective: would you like a boyfriend who lies after lie? No, you wouldn't, so don't do it to him. No one likes liars, cheaters, frauds and phonies.
plain and simple.
So l just wanna make sure I’m understanding you here, it took getting pregnant again to realize you don’t want to have a kid with him? Like you’d rather take the kid and leave him??