Final update posted. I can’t link it so I guess look on my profile? Idk I just started being active on this app lol

Update 3: OH MY GOD we just talked on the phone and it was insane. I will update with a new post later after I get Chili’s with my husband and sister: What the actual hell just happened 🤯

Update 2: I texted her again. I said “Hey, are we alright? I feel like we never talk anymore and I’m not sure what’s going on. I feel like you’ve been distancing yourself from me over time but I don’t want to make assumptions” because if this friendship is over then I need closure.

Update: I texted her “Okay. I hope you enjoy your day. I’m sure it’ll be beautiful” and she heart reacted to it. I’m considering removing her and her fiance on social media platforms but I’m not sure if I want to linger and see their wedding photos or not lol

I (26f) met one of my closest friends, let’s call her Kat (24f), during my sophomore year of college in fall of 2018. Technically I should have been a junior at this point but I attended a trade school for my first year out of high school before deciding to change careers and transfer to a traditional university. I met Kat because one of her good friends at the time was my lab partner.

Anyway, we immediately hit it off. We were literally like sisters. We had a lot of similar interests and we both agreed that it felt like the universe had a plan for us to meet. We travelled together, tried new things, told all of our secrets, etc. I’d never had a friend as close as her before and I felt so lucky. We ended up being roommates but she left a couple months into the school year due to depression. During this time I always supported her and we kept in contact. We’d see each other every few months and it was all good.

Fast forward to 2021, I got married and she was one of my bridesmaids. I only had 4, including my sisters and one childhood friend. She planned my bachelorette party and gave a very thoughtful wedding gift. Kat actually gave my wedding speech and it was great! My younger sisters were technically my maids of honor but Kat stepped up to the role because my sisters were too young to be able to actually do anything. I talked to her about it and thanked her. The following year we both ended up moving to the same city and are still only 25 minutes away. I have visited her a few times and she has come over to some of my parties but honestly we haven’t seen each other in person in a very long time. Kat and I are very similar. We both have been with our high school sweethearts for 10 years, who went to the same school, were the oldest of 3, we have similar traumas, similar interests, etc.

Well in summer of 2022 my husband and I bought a house and this is when things got weird. It is a cookie cutter house, not exactly what we wanted, but definitely a huge accomplishment for us at 24 years old. Kat was very critical yet her and her partner still pay more in rent for a smaller home than ours so I think she resents me for that. I never said anything about it when she’d make comments like “that’s not what I’d want” or she’d insult my decorating skills by saying “I hate fake plants” when I have fake plants in my house…I don’t want my cats eating them okay 😂

So she gets engaged in fall of 2022 and immediately FaceTimes me. I was so excited for her! She wanted me to make her wedding cake and we talked about her bachelorette party and all of the wedding things. I thought everything was fine.

Spring of 2023 rolls around and she is dealing with health issues so I try to excuse her not reaching out as much or making rude comments to me. But this was my 25th birthday and I had a lot of my friends and family around my age come. I spent so much time and money on this party and it turned out amazing! It was themed and I was super happy. At one point one of my fav songs came on and I took one video of me singing and dancing in my cute SpongeBob outfit (I was a little tipsy at this point) and Kat says “woo! Act like it’s crazy in here! Like we’re having fun!” like girl what? My sister and other friend that was in my wedding party, let’s call him Matt, were appalled my her comment. I just ignored it and didn’t let it ruin my night. I never wanted to have a falling out with her so I just excused it as a “it’s not me, it’s her” and moved on. Part of me felt like a punching bag but the other wanted to preserve the friendship that we used to have. I don’t know why she was sending that energy my way though. If I am being honest I think it’s because I am literally her only friend outside of her family and she is jealous that I have friends. I do not know what else it could be. Being so similar, I think watching me succeed in some areas has made her not like me. We bought a 5 bedroom house, I’ve been on a weight loss journey and have been trying to conceive, which are things she also wants, so I think being friends with me bothers her. I’ve never had anyone make me think this about them so I promise I’m not normally one to think “oh they’re just jealous” or anything. Since then our communication has really died down. I have reached out multiple times and we’d have a chat and I always tell her I miss her and not to be a stranger. She’s been going through a career change and health issues so I try to be supportive and understanding. I write off her being a bad friend to me because of it.

Today, I think the straw has finally broken the camel’s back. I received this text this morning: “Hey girl happy Sunday. I wanted to let you know that we have finalized our guest list/ordered invitations for the wedding. Our guest count was capped at 50 so we ultimately decided to keep it family only and just don’t have room for either of us to invite any friends 😞. No bridal party either… Keepin it quaint. I hope you’re having a great summer it looks like your job is a lot more fun and a lot less stressful than when you were teaching.”

I also had 50 guests at my wedding and she was one of them. I understand anybody can do anything that they want at their wedding, and I’m not going to fight for an invite, but this feels like the end of our friendship. I don’t really want to cause a big argument about it but I may not even respond. I’m not sure what to do. Clearly she knew I was expecting one. What should I say? Is no response a response? Should I send a “I understand, I hope your day is beautiful” bullshit response? I don’t think I’m going to invite her to my baby shower whenever that comes (not pregnant yet but hopefully soon!) idk, any advice is welcome!

I am bitter. I loved her and thought we’d be best friends forever. We talked about being like aunts to each other’s kids. I thought we’d be crazy old ladies one day who travelled the world and had our husbands roll their eyes at our shenanigans. I did nothing but support her, even when she started to change because I knew she was dealing with some shit and I wanted to give her grace. But at some point my best friend was just gone and now here we are. She literally zipped me into my wedding dress and now I’m not even important enough to have a seat at hers. It’s fucking sad and I don’t deserve it. I cant keep trying to love someone who doesn’t want to love me back.

Edit to add that I’m literally her only friend. Outside of her fiance and mom, she doesn’t have anybody close to her.

Edit 2: fuck no I’m not making her cake. She asked me when she got engaged and hasn’t asked since. I actually got so excited and even made a mini cake for practice and it was so cute. Too bad