Backstory, my older sister 29 was married to the most AMAZING man, let call him Chase. At the end of 2022 start of 2023 Chase raised speculation that my sister was sleeping or seeing someone at the state prison she worked at. My sister, let’s call her Sarah, denied this. Chase and Sarah went through a rough time, but it seemed to get better, they ended up becoming pregnant with their second child due later in 2023, but ended up separating before child was born. Chase tried everything in his power to make it work, but my sister just didn’t love him anymore and never even showed my sadness over this separation. Chase has been an Outstanding dad to their 2 kids, and they are great at con parenting. He is always a part of the family as the father of my sisters children.

My sister has been talking about quitting her job, at the prison. Everyone was happy to hear this, as we felt that job just changed her and the hours were ridiculous, and on Sunday she said she probably wasn’t going back to work and wasn’t going to show up Monday. Well today, (Tuesday). She sends me a message and said this is my new boyfriend. I immediately asked for details and she said she would call me and send me a few pictures, great, I’ll support it. Then she tells me that she met him though work, they worked together but he just never got to go home. I started calling, she finally answered and confirmed that she was dating an inmate. Then said he was released on Monday. (No wonder she quit her job). I was a little in shock, but she said he served his 10 year sentence for aggravated home and theft robbery,he had multiple warrants out when he was originally arrested, and was also a gang member (probably still is). My concern is for her two kids one under 6 and one under 1. Maybe this man is changed, but I don’t think 1 day out of prison can show that. Apparently this has been going on for for a while considering he “paid” for her maternity leave, her ex husband chase noticed she was getting thousands sent to her on cashapp, and she put this large down payment on a car, my dad did the financing and was really curious to where that came from, because she always talks about not having money and has my mother paying for things.

She proceeds to tell me how great his family his, that they are super big Christians, and he is a new man, etc. obviously he was affiliated with something if he could send thousands of dollars while in prison. I told her that I hope she waits before he is around the kids, but I have a feeling she will not. And I didn’t think it was smart to date someone who has not been a part of the real world in 10 years. He is going to face his own obstacles and temptation of going back to a lifestyle he was once in. I told her I didn’t want to meet him, and I may reconsider after I have more information on how he is living a better life. But I just don’t support this choice. She seemed upset, asked me not to tell our dad. I immediately called my dad to tell him. ONLY because he needs some time to process this, or he will loose his shit on her. So I know she will be mad when she finds out. I think she likes the money and “attention” she is getting from this man, and is ignorant to what danger she is potentially putting her kids in if he is still affiliated with any gangs. The only things she could say to back how he changed was about how great his family is, to which I told her that his family can be great, but he is only responsible for his actions and his own reputation, and I do not have to trust him or be around him. My parents are divorced, so when I called my mom who knew, she fears that if she doesn’t try to support this then my Sarah will not allow her to see he me grandchildren, and will not keep her in the loop. I told my mom that I will not be around this, as I do not think she is thinking of the children or has put much logical thought into any of it. She is VERY easily influenced, and I fear what she will get involved in. If she wants to keep the kids from me, I will see them through their father Chase.

My sister texted me and asked not to judge him for his past. To which I replied that I am not judging him for his 1 day of freedom either. I said something to her about the money, and asked is she put into any thought on how this could reflect in a custody battle considering he was sending her money at the prison she worked for, while an employee for the state prison, and her ex has proof. Told her that I love her, but I don’t think this was smart to jump into and I will not support it. AITA? Or any advice to be given here?

Edit: the Baby is NOT the felons. It’s definitely my brother in laws, there is no doubt on that. Felon is a different race.

Update: My mom, my father and I have spoken to Chase (the ex husband). He did not know that he was an inmate or anything. They are not officially divorced, so my dad told him he needs to drop his current divorce lawyer and has offered to pay for an excellent lawyer, told him to go speak to him TODAY. Our whole family is on the same page that we will support him in any way to get custody, and hopefully she will come back to reality and get the help that she needs to think any of this is okay.

It’s absolutely illegal, and what I told my parents, is that whatever consequence she gets for that is better received now than future consequences that could occur from the involvement with this man.

I asked her where the money came from, and he “saved up” over the years. I’m assuming she is just lying to everyone, as I cannot imagine her being so delusional.

We are all so in shock, and have no clue what world she lives in where she thinks this is okay and that we would all be supportive of this. My fear is that this turns out to be bigger than it is, and the felon or her both get in trouble and it puts a target on the kids, or anyone in our family.

I truly know NOTHING about this man, and what he is affiliated with. I wasn’t raised in that type of world, but i know for sure he is still involved in something dangerous.

My mom will remain in contact with her and is just trying to get whatever information she can at this point. I told my mom to remember everything she says is a lie, or not the whole truth. And not to offer her any validation in her choices, as that’s what she is seeking.

I’m curious to know what penalties she could face, but that’s on her. I know my brother in law will always provide and do whatever he can for his kids, and I’m happy to step in however he needs me.

But what in the literal fuck is going on in her head.

UPDATE: my brother in law is suppose to call a new attorney that my dad has advised to use, not really sure what’s happened with that. As he was in shock and needed to process it. But I believe he has gotten her to agree that he is not to be around the kids, to give him time to take action.

I had some contacts that work in the corrections dept. at that prison who were non-biased and didn’t know the story, look into him. That contact confirmed he is an active gang member, and rumor in the prison was that he had a target on his back recently, and it was about to get ugly. Mentioned this to my sister and she said it was just gossip and I shouldn’t listen. I asked her what would happen if I told his parole officer about all that I know between them and she lost her mind. Wanted to know why I would do that, etc. I went on to explain how that just goes to show how she has not considered any consequences, and if she thinks she is safe because she doesn’t work at the prison , she is not. She said some pretty rude things in hopes to hurt my feelings, and I said don’t come crying to me when shit hits the fan, I’m done with you. And blocked her number.

I also told her that she was greedy, and selfish. If he didn’t give her any money she would have nothing to do with him.