I was the maid of honor in my (now former) best friends wedding. Important background is that there was a matron of honor, and three other bridesmaids (5 of us in total). The bride has little to no family due to a history of abuse.

To make a long story short: due to the brides lack of family, I had to step in for roles that were typically done by the family. I planned the entire bachelorette and bridal shower, from either non to minimal physical or financial support from the bridal party. The bride asked me to be a mediator between the bridal party that consistently fought with one another. I spend weekends at her house helping to prepare. And I spent many weekends at her house helping to renovate because the couple chose to purchase a home only a couple of months prior to getting married that needed a lot of work. So again, long story short, I took on a lot of work and financial debt due to this wedding. Mostly because I thought this was my closest friend.

During the wedding events, the other bridesmaids (who I was not previously friends with) were kind of horrible. They consistently bad mouthed the bride and groom, provided no help in the wedding activities, and were outright mean at times.

My concern, though, started when they began to make jokes at my expense, regarding personal intimate details about me and my life that they should have never known about. I started to realize that the bride had told her friends all of the personal things I’ve ever told her in confidence about myself. Things like my traumas, family secrets, and mental health challenges. At this time, I was starting to notice how the bride was treating me. It felt as though I had become her personal punching bag. She was consistently picking arguments and getting angry with me. When we would talk about this behavior she would either apologize or become defensive, but the behavior did not change.

On the day of the wedding, I took on a lot of responsibilities like connecting with the vendors, setting up decorations and assisting with food and drinks because this was a very DIY wedding and there was no coordinator. After the ceremony I needed to access my friends phone, as the toilet plumbing in the women’s bathroom was not working and I needed to get a hold of the venue owner without worrying the bride.

When I opened my friends phone there was a text from one of the bridesmaids talking badly about me. In a moment of absolute stupidity I searched my name in her texts, and confirmed what I had already known: that my friend told her other friends everything about myself that I ever told her. Not only this, but she mocked me and spoke negatively about these personal things I had told her.

This post has gotten too long, so to summarize: I think I ruined her wedding because my friend found out I searched her phone after opening her phone and seeing my name in the search bar. This was on the wedding day. I feel guilt that this happened on her wedding day. I also feel guilt that I’m in her wedding photographs. I’m also still really angry though. I also feel horrible because since she’s been out of my life it has honestly been kind of … great?