My husband got a vasectomy and I still ended up pregnant.

Did he get tested after having the procedure?

I had to get retested 3x before I was fully cleared. He should have been warned that you’re not clear for unprotected sex right away.

I'm so so sorry. I wish I had some magic words to fix this situation. I hope whatever you do you find peace with it.

I am so sorry that you're in this position. It's so cruel. Best wishes to you.

One of the many reasons why I got a tubal removal; efficacy doesn’t decline over time and it would literally take a miracle or massive fuck up for it to not work.

This is tough. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

I hope all is going well forward.

I don’t trust vasectomy. Read too many horror stories about 40+ y.o parents having another surprised babies.. I had my tubes removed right after I gave birth my youngest via C-section.

I’m so sorry. My sister has PCOS and was only 25 when a doctor told her she was likely infertile and “couldn’t get pregnant”. She got accidentally pregnant anyway and has a kid now. Testing after vasectomies - repeatedly seems to be very important. I also don’t really believe doctors can make such a statement when it’s a game of chance getting pregnant anyway let alone with PCOS.

Hey. If you're not too far along, you can go get a pill right now. All you need is one day of rest after. I know that sitting on it for two weeks is really going to be traumatic. Prioritize you.

And also remember, the best mother is the one who puts her children first. You have too living children that need you to give them the best life you possibly can. Don't hesitate about the things you need to do to ensure that.

I'm so sorry ❤️

I'd have your husband speak with the doctor who did the vasectomy and have them use a different method and redo it. This can happen sometimes unfortunately, if the tubes aren't sealed properly they can grow back together.

I am in the same boat. Except I live in a very red state. I had to take fertility meds for both of my sons. I woke up about a week ago, and my boobs were hurting. I have been on birth control since my youngest was born, and I missed a few days last month due to being sick, and I really didn’t think anything about it. But I woke up with my breasts hurting and I knew in that instant I was pregnant. I absolutely don’t want another child. My youngest is starting kindergarten this year. I can’t start over now. I feel you mama. Idk what to do.

Please ignore everyone with an agenda and do what is right for you and your family, whatever it is. So many people are just saying what they think and want you to do. It's shameful.

I'm sorry this happened and sorry you are having some of these dumb replies too.

Extra love on your littles and hopefully you live somewhere that you have access to safe care.

Sending you good vibes as I know it can't be easy.

The biggest portion of terminations in my country are married women with children who know they can't cope.

It's not teenagers it's grown women who took every precaution possible and and yet here they are.

Oh that’s a horrible situation to be in. Can’t imagine what it would feel like for your husband either, getting the snip then bam! Pregnancy. I guess this is why they suggest birth control until tested to make sure he has no bullets left in his chamber. May the next few weeks go quickly and smoothly for you and your husband. Good luck

I’m so sorry. That’s awful. This is extremely common—most women who get abortions already have at least one child and they abort because they need to focus on the children they have and don’t have the time or money for more children.

We had a failure of bc that resulted in a pregnancy right after the shut down happened. We used condoms and I didn't want to get back on the pill. We had just gotten approved for the Plan first program in my state which covers birth control, like a vasectomy. My kid was newly one. The world was in chaos. We had losses before a healthy pregnancy and it really threw me that it happened So easily. I was in the position of wishing I could keep it but it wouldn't have been fair to my kid to put that hardship on us, and in Such a crazy time. I was working part time, In healthcare no less. I had no leave to cover the postpartum time.

I had to jump through hoops to get a car side pill appointment at planned parenthood and the only available spot was 1.5 weeks later...on my birthday. Or I'd have to wait even longer. I didn't want to wait and have symptoms and feel pregnant any longer than I had to, knowing I couldn't try to get to full term again. After those losses it was a punch in the gut to have to make that choice. The wait was so hard. I can't imagine any longer. It took two years before it wasn't my first thought on my birthday when I woke up.

I share with you to let you know you are not alone. We have to make tough choices sometimes to take care of the family we have. This is one of those for some of us. I'm so sorry.

I knew someone this happened to. The doctor was just like, yep, there's always a small chance of that happening 🤷‍♀️ Her husband had done all the follow-up stuff but apparently shit happens sometimes (they checked him again after she got pregnant, he was definitely not shooting blanks). They decided to keep the baby but initially she was furious/devastated. I remember someone congratulated her and she was kind of pissed. Not at them but at the situation. All their kids were older and no longer in the "baby" stage and I think she was ready for that chapter to be over. I am sure she's probably thrilled it happened now (it's been years, I think that kid would be a teenager by now, possibly) and loves that kid but it was NOT what they planned.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

I’m sorry for the hard decisions you will need to make, I was born after my parents got pregnant after a vasectomy and an abortion. I can only be great full that it was the 70’s. That wouldn’t happen in today’s medical world.

I am so sorry this happened. There aren’t any words I can say to make this better for you, but I’m rooting for you and your family.

Oh what a shitty day to have to be dealing with all this. I'm so sorry.

Real talk, I would absolutely get an abortion if I ended up pregnant again. I had two difficult pregnancies, and two traumatic deliveries, and we were advised to be done by my doctor. I got my tubes snipped/burned, because it was easier/faster to get me in, and there was less of a failure rate. I'm also fairly fertile, and didn't want a surprise baby while we waited for my husband's sperm count to drop if he got snipped. But let me tell you, if my period is late by a day, I start getting nervous. I don't want to risk my health again, I don't want to have to make a choice on whether or not to keep a baby, and I do not want to sacrifice the financial gains we've made.

Lots of words to say, I'm not gonna judge you, or tell you what I think you should do. It's entirely your decision. Just make sure you take some time to come to terms with this, and make sure your husband is on the same page.

And then, down the road a bit (but not too far) he needs to get to his doctor and get his sperm count checked.

My heart breaks for you. I’m so sorry. No matter what you decide, do what’s best for your family, and what you know is best. Keep the baby or don’t, just do whatever is best for you guys. Fuck what anyone else says. Sending love your way.

What did his sperm test show after the procedure?

Has your husband had his follow-up visit to confirm there are no swimmers?

I’m so so sorry 💔

This is one of my fears. We just had a surprise baby (we have 3 now) I got my vasectomy, but I still worry we'll get pregnant.

The follow-up tests are very important My husband's first vasectomy failed, and he ended up more fertile than he was pre vasectomy.

I’m so sorry. Did he go to all of his follow ups and wait the required amount of time?

We’ve got your emotional back here OP 💕 much love, courage, and support for you. Keep your head up, you’ve got this handled 💪🏼💕

You have to get it tested again and again and again

This happened to my partner’s best friend

I'm so sorry. You are going through this. It will get easier, I promise ❤️

I actually just went through the same thing and had to just exist for two weeks knowing the baby wasn’t viable. It’s terrible and I’m sorry you’re also alone like I was and I’m sending you a hug from one broken mama to another on a special mama day ❤️❤️🙏🏽 you’re going to make it because you have no option but to roar

I'm sorry for your struggle. Take care and be kind to yourself❤️

I am so sorry, OP. I don't have children myself, but I did grow up in a difficult home where money was tight.

When you do decide on what to do and if it comes to the point that your choice is abortion I don't want you to feel bad.

I don't know if it will help, but I wanted to tell you in hopes that it might. As a child whose mom had an abortion.

I was maybe 10 or 11 when my mom got pregnant with what would have been her 3rd child. She had an abortion and she explained it to me due to her guilt. I more or less understood and didn't think much of it, but I knew she felt bad and wanted support. She had another abortion later on when I was 16-ish.

When I got older, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, and she was so heartbroken over her abortions. I told her that I knew she felt bad, but it was honestly for the best, and I never viewed her as a bad mom for going through with them. I told her she was a strong mom for not having them and having them live a very difficult life with us.

We were so poor financially, and my dad was such and asshole. When my mom was going through cancer, my dad was addicted to pain pills and out of his mind. I could not imagine being in college as I was, with my mom not working during her cancer treatment, my dad unemployed, high on pain pills, and my brother, who also wasn't working, and there being a pre-teen child and an elementary schooler that needed to go to school. I was buying groceries for us with the leftover financial aid from school, taking care of my mom during chemo.

Though my mom recovered, her cancer later returned, and she passed away. I still view her very highly, having gone through something so difficult. I never once thought that she was a bad mom for it. My mom loved children so much, and I know that if we were in a different position, she would have happily had those kids.

Whatever you decide, OP, don't let this option riddle you with guilt. Never think that it makes you less of a mom or a bad one. It doesn't make you a bad person. Make your choice free of guilt. I'm sorry you're going through this.

Sending love and support from an internet stranger.

I'll remember this everytime someone tries to tell me my husband should have gotten a vasectomy when I tell them I have had my tubes removed.

(He is still getting a vasectomy but we wanted to be protected on both fronts)

This happened to my parents after they had me. They decided 3 kids was enough and my dad had the procedure done, only for my mom to get pregnant again. It’s really more common than you’d think.

Only you and your partner know what is best for your family, whether that is to keep the baby or not. Don’t let anyone shame you in to making a decision you don’t want to make❤️

I am so sorry for your circumstance and your loss.

I had a tubal and I recently had a very late period. I was terrified. Too scared to even test. My reasons for fear are the absolute same as yours. I’m young but both my pregnancies nearly killed me. My second almost killed both of us and financially ruined us. (I was admitted for the last 2 months and an additional 2 weeks post delivery plus NICU) I remember asking for the consent forms while still pregnant so that in an emergency c-section situation where I would be unable to make my wish to be sterilized known. My mother knew, my father knew, my kids dad knew; if for some reason I can’t voice this at the time, I want at the very least a tubal ligation. While all the doctors agreed there was one very young doctor who was against it. Kept coming in and saying we could do this for birth control and “are you sure?” “Is this your decision?” Even going so far as to ask my kids father (life partner no we are not legally married) “are you all right with this.” We didn’t want a vasectomy, I never wanted to be pregnant again.

None of the other doctors even seriously questioned it other than to follow the protocol of asking a week later. It finally took me and him alone with a nurse and me saying “I never want to be in the gut wrenching position of having to get an abortion. I have loved my children since I found out I was pregnant. My babies were intentional acts and planned. I would love that baby and would absolutely get an abortion.” There was no stopping it at that point it had been signed off by my doctor and another physician. I had an emergency c-section 12 hours later and my tubes were removed. Little one was 3lbs and 2 months early, they are now a bustling toddler. I still don’t know what his issue was.

If the vasectomy is done properly, and you go back to have the sperm count completed, babies won't happen.  I watched my husband's vasectomy- his dr used clips (permanently left on), cut a piece of the vas deferens from between the clips, and then cauterized the ends. The were emphatic about using protection until he went off at least 15 to 20 times, then waited a week prior to submitting a sample for a count 3 months post. 

OP, my heart breaks for you. I'm sorry you're going through this,  and I get it.  For a variety of reasons, my husband and I won't be having more kids. We made that decision together, but it doesn't make it any less difficult. I hope your husband is giving you comfort and you're supporting each other right now.

Sending you love and hugs 🧡 whatever decision you do, the moment you do it, is the BEST for you and your family.

I overheard adult conversations as a child where a friend's parents were informing my parents how they had 5 children. After baby 1, the husband got a vasectomy. After baby 2, another vasectomy. After baby 3, the woman had some procedure she said she got her tubes tied but I was like 5 when hearing this so all I can say is the woman had something done and then they had twins.

So, I guess the moral of the story is consult with your treatment team and always wear a condom with maybe the exception of if the woman doesn't have a uterus. I couldn't tell you if they followed up or got tested after each procedure since I was 5 and literally ease dropping. Regardless, hearing that story always stuck with me and to this day is one of the main reasons I have never gotten pregnant (yet).

I am so sorry and I understand. This happened to me with my IUD. We made the right choice for our family yet still never easy. We looked at eachother the other day and thought shit we would have an 8 yr old. While our 3 are almost out of High School.

I know it was responsible Hang in there OP, you are thinking of your family. He needs to fill a cup for the Dr's for sure

I’ve been here. 1000%. We had four miscarriages before having our first child. We struggled so badly with infertility. We weren’t trying when I conceived our third baby. We had to use medications to conceive in the past so we were incredibly surprised when I found out I was pregnant. We were in the worst situation and I had my mind set on aborting. Once I saw her heartbeat on ultrasound I just knew in my heart there was no way I could go through with an abortion. We made the decision to try everything possible to figure things out no matter what. I realize completely that not everyone has the option to try and figure it out, and it breaks my heart that you’re having to struggle so deeply with your decision. No matter what anyone says you have to trust your gut and decide what is best for you. It is your body and your choice.

About to have our 4th in a few months cause I couldn’t make the vasectomy appointment. It’s gonna be a financial struggle for sure but I don’t think my wife and I could have dealt with the guilt of an abortion by the time we found out.

A couple of years ago we got accidentally pregnant. We have always wanted another, but were nowhere near financially ready and honestly were barely got to the point where we paid off alot of debt we had from our youngest's daycare. I am over 40 so i knew that was like, pretty much my last chance too if we decided to go forward. It was a very hard decision - knowing that we did want another - but in the end, we did have an abortion. I don't have any regrets, at all, thats not to say that I don't occasionally think about the what-ifs, but i know I made the best decision we could with the information we had then. If i feel some sadness here and there I feel thats something I am comfortable bearing - what I wasn't comfortable with was my children bearing the weight of our financial strain. I am building their memories of childhood, and I just want to be sure that includes all that I can do for them.

Urologist here. Vasectomy failures happen. Was there a negative semen analysis post procedure?

What’s in your heart? I know you said you CAN’T keep the baby because of lack of finances and support, but do you and your husband WANT to keep the baby? There are dozens and dozens of programs out there that can help with food, housing, childcare etc. I know it would be tough, but don’t come to the conclusion that abortion is your only option. I am not a hard core pro-lifer, I just don’t think people should be backed into a corner and be forced to get an abortion if they don’t really want to do that just because the economy and job market is bullshit right now.

I was a 19 year old high school drop out struggling with poverty when I had my son. It was tough for a long time, but my son never went without. We always had enough to get by. I did whatever it took to provide for him. I’ve never regretted having him. Somehow, everything worked out and we have a good life now.

I’m really sorry to hear your story. This is truly an awful situation for you. It breaks my heart.

Good to hear about the update OP! Maybe schedule a checkup just to be 100% sure everything is ok?

I have an aunt who one said, “If I could do it again, I would have twice as many (kids) and half as much (money).”

And that’s an awesome sentiment for someone who has had the “luxury” to have such a mindset. That has never actually lived thru the “half as much” part of life.

I’m heartbroken on your behalf if you have to make the “choice.” For what it’s worth, it sounds like you made every reasonable and responsible decision to try and prevent this scenario.

I wish you only the best and peace

Oh wow how long ago was the vasectomy?

May I suggest having the baby and then doing an adoption? A family who can’t have kids would love to adopt your baby, you may even find someone willing to do an open adoption?

If you choose not to adopt I wish you all the best and if you need anything don’t hesitate to reach out my dms are always open every to have a cry and talk about random things ❤️ my heart goes to you ❤️

Man, I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I can’t even imagine what my fiancée and I would do.

This has been one of my worries since I had mine done a few years ago.

I hope you and your husband find peace in the situation.

I’m so sorry! I can’t imagine how hard it is for you. Whatever decision you make, it’s the right one. Sending you lots of love

This is one of those situations where you both have to find the strength to know that bringing a child into the situation you find yourself in would make life unbearably hard for all of you.

It's not fair. It sucks. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry this is something you have to experience. Big internet hugs.

OP, this might not help at all. But I thought it was interesting.

Most pregnancies are not viable. It's a myth that miscarriage is rare. Miscarriage is more likely than a pregnancy being carried to term. Human bodies naturally abort pregnancies. All. The. Time. Most people simply don't know their pregnancy had initiated before it ends. It's not a bad thing, even though it can be heartbreaking. It's usually a biological response to a fetus the body doesn't believe is viable.

"After simple adjustments for varying methods, existing data show that at least 73% of natural single conceptions have no real chance of surviving 6 weeks of gestation."

The reason I'm sharing this is just, well. A pregnancy isn't necessarily miracle or a sign or a gift. Our bodies are even designed to initiate and then abort far more of them than we realise. And if our bodies are naturally able to keep us safe by recognising that "now is not a good time to be pregnant" on a biological level, you should be allowed to keep you and your family safe, happy and healthy by recognising that "now is not a good time to be pregnant" on socio-economic, intellectual level. It doesn't make it easy, or hurt less, but you're working to protect your family.

What is an absolute gift though, are the children who are already here. And it seems like your kids are lucky to have you as a mum. Because you're putting yourself through this heartbreak to make sure they have the best future.

I hope that makes sense? It's very admirable to be honest and self aware with where you're at.

I'm so sorry it's so hard.

Oh, I am so sorry. I hope you find peace.

Sorry to hear that. How long ago did he get the vasectomy carried out? 5 years ago when I had mine I more than cleared out the recommended times but was not given the all clear. Had to go another round of 6 weeks of clearing out before it was given the all clear.

Wow I’m sorry :( I’m praying for you and your situation 🙏❤️

Man, all these stories are making me glad that my wife and I went overkill on the birth control: testosterone blocker, bilateral orchiectomy, secondary amenorrhea/PCOS/infertility, bilateral salpingectomy, and total hysterectomy. We're super unlucky, so it seemed warranted, lol. For what it's worth, I think you're doing the right thing: quality over quantity. ❤️

This happens to my wife and I. I got a vasectomy, we find out 3 days after that she’s pregnant. Obviously from sex before the procedure. And yes, we terminated. It was gut wrenching.

kid defied the odds to be conceived.

Sending you so much love and strength to get through these next few weeks/months. ❤️❤️❤️

I'm really sorry you're facing this please accept some Internet hugs

Whatever decision you make is the right one. You’re cared about in this household!

Do not put yourself or your family in bad or nearly impossible to fix situation for this pregnancy. I really hope you think long and hard about how you're going to handle this because you have quite a bit on your shoulders already I assume.

Did you do one test or how did you find out? If it was just one test it may be a false-positive. I recommend you take a second one if you haven’t already. Regardless you should probably tell your husband, because he should know that his vasectomy failed.

I’m so sorry OP

Why not get an abortion?

I’m sorry you are in such a difficult situation 💗 a question I’ll ask that I don’t think anyone else has - which is harder for you: living without this baby & possibly having regret, or having to work extra/seek extra help for a few years until your kids are in school?

I mention possible regret because you mentioned that you’d keep this baby if you could. In one situation you will gain finances & time. In the other you will gain a child. There is a chance you question your choice in both outcomes.

If you stayed home with your kids, are there other kids in your life that you could babysit to earn income? Is there a chance that you or your husband could get a raise within the year? Are there family/friends that could watch the baby 1-2 days per week so you’d only have to pay for part time child care? Are there assistance programs you could reach out to?

Another scenario- you are older with PCOS. There is a chance you could miscarry, which would leave the choice up to nature.

All this to say- life can give us more than we think we can handle, but the universe makes it work out for our good. I pray you have peace on your journey 💗

I heard men gotta ejaculate 20-30 times before vasectomys start working.

The fix is easy but not pleasant. You already know it.

Damn... I'm sorry this is happening to you. Lots of love❤️

Either you had sex too soon, the vasectomy got botched or reversed itself or false positive. But no matter what it sucks you have to go through this,