What's your favourite Groundskeeper Willie quote

Grease me up woman!

Willie hears ya, Willie don't care.

Bonjour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!

“Ya used me, Skinner! Ya used me!”

The anger in his voice coupled with Skinner’s genuine look of remorse is just amazing.

"I warned ya! Didn't I warn ya? That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!"

Brothers and sisters are natural enemies, like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots, they ruined Scotland!

ACH! DOONTOON!

MAKE WAY FOR WILLIE!

I'll kill that Mr. Burns! And...uh...wound that Mr. Smithers!

I'll kidnap him for $50, deprogram him for $100, and kill him for $500

My retirement grease!

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Now you take the hoooose.

“It burns like a Glasgow bikini wax!”

“That’s okay, Wolfie! I was wrestling wolves when ye were still at your mother’s teet!”

gives wolf splash of whiskey from his hand

You noodle-armed choir boy!

I'm doing all the pullin', you blouse wearin' poodle walker!

Willie hears ya. Willie don’t care.

Awwww, it's Mr. Burns.

KILL IT! KILL IT!

Suddenly the ugliest man in Glasgow wasn't good enough for her.

Och, you speak like a poet, but you punch like one, too!

I also 'ate the mess he left on me rug!

"If it were up to me, I'd let you go. But the lads have got a temper, AND THEY'VE BEEN DRINKIN' ALL DAY!" -referring to his fists

"I can't believe everyone was in on it."

"WILLIE WASN'T!"

My hobby is secretly videotaping couples in cars…

I dare not come forward, because in this country they call you a pervert…

Brothers and sisters are natural enemies, like Englishmen and Scots, or Welshmen and Scots, or Japanese and Scots, or Scots and other Scots.

Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!

You Scots sure are a contentious people.

You just made an enemy for life!

There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman!

Back in Edinburgh, we had a coal miners strike! All we wanted were hats with a wee light on top! Then one day the mine collapsed! No one made it out alive! Not...Even...Willie!

If elected mayor my first act will be to kill the whole lot of ya and burn your town to cinders!

(someone whispers something in his ear)

I know it's on!

Shhhhh, you wanna get sued!

Edit: word

When Bart is sentenced to Willie's shed to be taught.

W: Now turn to chapter 1 of Math Safari.

B: But we're already on chapter 7.

W: grabs pitchfork THEN YOU'LL BE TEACHING WILLIE!!

But don't be reading my mind between four and five. That's Willy's time!

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Ach! Back to the Loch with you, Nessie

"Do not touch Willie." Good advice!

Call this a soccer riot?? Come on boys let's take em to school

I use "I've been insert activity since you've been sucking on your mother's TEET" on a weekly basis.

Ach! Doontoon!

"YA USED ME SKINNER! YA USED MEEEE!"

"If you ever get in trouble, just use that 'Shin' of yours, and I'll come a-running...but don't call between 4 and 5, that's Willie's Time!"

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My favourite of all time is

"Will ya shut up woman, he's talkin about me leader!"

BONJOURRRRRRRRRRRRRR…..Ya cheese eatin’ surrender monkeys!

"He did do a bonny job, sir."

There, pretty as a picture.

Eek! I mean, och! I mean, what are you doing here?!

There, pretty as a picture. Ah, zombies!! There, pretty as a picture.

It won't last. Brothers and sisters are natural enemies! Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!

Now there's a myth about me I'd like you to correct, I'm not from Edinburgh! I'm also not from Glasgow! I'm from Kirkwall in Orkney! Me father was an Uppie, and me mother was a Doonie. It tore the family apart!

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So many to choose from but for me it’s this and the retirement grease one

Och, I left ma gun on the seat!

I'm doni' all the pullin' ya blouse wearing poodle walker!

HOOSE

Video game?

The kilt was for day to day wear. In battle, we donned a full length ball gown covered in sequins. The idea was to blind your opponent with luxury.

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Eeeeeek! I mean.....AGH!

Like Scots and other Scots. Damn Scots, they ruined Scotland!

Oooh, good comeback!

Ah, geez. I'm standing right here, sir :(

You've got the shinning. Bart Simpson: You mean "shining". Groundskeeper Willie: Shh! You want to get sued?

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My hobby is secretly videotaping couples in cars. I didn't come forward, because in this country, it makes you look like a pervert. But every single Scottish person does it!

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I love the consideration he has for Smithers here.

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"every Scottish person does it!"

Oh I’ll wax the upstairs and I'll wax the downstairs and I'll get drunk in the library!

“Do not touch” - Willie.

GO ABERDEEN!!

“I -ate em”

"That wasn't what you said the first time you saw me!"

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The whole towns turned out!

I hear your back son. Aye, So you’ll be leaving soon. Aye.

Both turn and walk away.

Me mule wouldn't walk in the mud. So I had put 17 bullets in him.

Reverend Lovejoy: how’s that door coming, Willie? Willie: Miracles are your department, REVEREND!

My god man! I've watered her down as far as she'll go. I cannot water her no more!

“If elected mayor, my first act will be to kill the whole lot a ya, and burn your town to cinders.”

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I’m an immigrant, so this one’s my all time Willie favorite:

“Ye want to pick on immigrants?! Then pick on Willie!”

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YA USED ME SKINNER!!! YA USED ME!!!!!!

Willie ‘ears ya, Willie don’t care

Willie hears ya, Willie don’t care.

What did you say about my mother?! I’ll have you know, her feet stank because she worked in manure all day! But is was still the best Starbucks in all of Glasgow!

That’ll do snake… That’ll do.

ALSO

ACH! DOON TOON!

leave those books here, you won’t need them where you’re going, lad

Y'AAAAAAAAAAARGH! MAKE WAY FOR WILLIE!! I SAID 'MAKE WAY FOR WILLIE', YA BLOATED GASBAG!!

“Yeah I bought your little mutt... And I 'ate him. I 'ate his little face, I 'ate his guts, and I 'ate the way he's always barking. So I geeeve him to the church”

“Oh, you hate him so you gave him to the church?”

“Aye. I also 'ate the mess he left on the rug. You heard me!”

Ok, Skinner. That's the last time you'll slap your Willie around.

Absolutely way too many he's awesome 🤘

"That's the last time you slap your Willie around!"

IM A MANIAC MAAAAANIAC ON THE FLURRRRRR AND IM DANCING LIKE AHV NEVUR DANCED BEFURRRRRR

SHERRY BOBBINS! We were engaged to be married! Then she got her sight back....

It's good to see you Willie THATS NOT WHAT YOU SAID BEFORE!

ACH, WEE BAIRN! HIE YA HENCE FROM MAH HEATH!

When you're alone and life is making you lonely You can always go, ACH, DOON TOON!

“How many of you hail from the fair city of Edinburgh??”

crickets….

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"I warned ya! Didn't I warn ya? That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself"

Willie is such an underrated character... Lets take some Scottish whiskey shots for Willie... And Scotchtoberfest as well.

“But I’m tellin ya, I couldn’t have shot Mr. Burns. Look at me right hand. Solid as a rock from playing too much Space Invaders!”

Chief Wiggum :” yeah that game was pretty addictive back in the 80’s”

Video Game?! lol

“Just use that… shin of yours and I’ll come a run in’. But don’t be reading my mind between four and five. That’s WILLIE’S time!

Willie hears ya, Willie don't care

Don't touch Willie.

Oh I get it... Willie isnae funny unless he's cleaning up your wee brats PUKE!

Thanks you've been greeeat!

"Goodnight" [hits himself in the head with a hammer to fall asleep].

Every time I need a hose I say PASS ME THE HOOOZE LADDY

Bonjour, ya cheese eatin’, country surrendering bastards!

Hard to pick just one favorite from Groundskeeper Willie!

Leave the books. You won’t be needing them where you’re going boy.

ACH!SHE'S A BONNY PILE. NOW FOR A WEE NIP AND A WEE NAP.

Leave me alone! I’m makin me Raman noodles!

"Willie hears you willie don't care"

I'm doing all the pulling you blouse-wearing poodle walker!

“Lunch lady Dorris . Have you got any grease “? Why , yes Yes I do !

I'm an early childhood educator. I love the little ones, and they love coming up to get hugs, but sometimes they get a little too boisterous. That's when I Channel Willy and cry out.... Ach.... tew mannae wee wans!

When you're alone and life is making you lonely You can always go

DOON TOON

I just wanted to point out that there are two turtles attached to Willie’s unibrow

“If elected mayor, my first act will be to kill the whole lot of ye and burn your town to cinders! …I know it’s on!”

Quiet woman. He’s talking about ma leader.

Aye, she'll make a fine bit ah kindling

“Now, the kilt was only for day-to-day wear. In battle, we donned a full-length ball gown covered in sequins. The idea was to blind your opponent with luxury.”

Would ya shut up, woman! He's talking about me Leader!

You speak like a poet, but you punch like one too!!

Yeah, I bought your mutt and I 'ate 'em. I 'ate his little face. I 'ate his guts and I 'ate the way he's always barkin' so I gave him to the church.

I also ate the mess he left on me rug. You heard me!

It won't last, Brothers and sisters are natural enemies, like Englishmen and scots! Or Welshmen and scots! Or Scots and scots! Damn Scots you ruined Scotland!

"Boy, you read my thoughts. You've got the shinning."

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