"A big perk of this job is you don't have a security camera watching you in your cubicle all day. You can even add some decorations to it providing they are bought from the company's merch store"
If you are ever feeling down, don't worry. We have older gentlemen located throughout the office who will consistently compliment various aspects of your physique. In great detail.
Yeah im a police officer. I specialize in sex trafficking. I set traps for prostitutes, have sex with them and then arrest them for the crime. Its one of the perks of the job.
Oh watch out for Mrs. Lambert in room 14, she really likes to walk around naked and try to seduce the orderlies. Just remember that she has dementia and will bite you
This is the employee bathroom which has single sheets rolls of toilet paper that we made from the garbage printer paper. Don’t worry about the ink in that paper as it is not harmful to human skin. The soap is homemade with goats milk that was raise out back of this papery. The paper towels I recycle from the local sanitation department. Sometime there could be some “stains” but they are all safe to use. If you need air fresheners we have raid bug spray as sometime the bathroom has an infestation problem. Just wait until you see the company breakroom!
“And down here is where the bodies are ‘buried.’ Hehehe—coroner humor, Son. Anyways, it’s nice and chilly down here. We keep a full fridge, hehe … And you’ll be working the night shift so you’ll be all alone with the customers. Yes sir, all alone … all alone … dagnabit, Son, are you followin’ me?”
"Yes, you can rub my bald spot when you are feeling down."