Roast my corvette

When you ordered it did they ask what options you wanted and you just said "no"?

IF CAR COMMERCIALS WERE HONEST

Are you over 50 and looking to buy a Chevrolet Corvette? Are you on your 2nd or even 3rd marriage where finally you are able to own a sports car because your previous wives told you that you couldn’t because we needed to “save on gas” (whatever the fuck that means) and now you are a old bitter man, wear new balance white sneakers, jorts and polo shirts and have a beer belly to where you can’t see your dick, well do I have the car for you, the all new 20 something Corvette!

Good credit, bad credit, no credit, no problem, we can get you into this half ton death machine today!

At the next car show, you’ll be driving fine in your new to you, old to everyone else 20 something Chevrolet Corvette, because really, who hasn’t seen a Corvette before.

Come on down to Kunkleman Chevrolet, TODAY! We will even throw in a NEW pair of New Balance Shoes White sneakers!

29 going on 63

Usually it’s amazing color with amazing rims, but you somehow managed to mess both of those up, are you trying to secretly look like a Camry?

Thats gotta be the most uninspiring color, on the most boring looking Stingray ever.

Did you purposely buy the most boring corvette ever produced? This won't even impress the recent high school grads you're constantly hitting on.

Not the car, but there are SIX different brick patterns just in this driveway pic. During construction, were different construction crews tagging in and tagging out like a wrestling match? 🤣🤣😂

When they asked you what color you wanted, did you say "the inside of the dish washer"

This thing screams for black wheels. You should personalize it a little so it doesn’t look like you rented it from Turo.

The water heater is snazzier than the car

i want the concept of a Ferrari but with Nissan’s design department….the Altima’s design department.

Looks like you will suffer the same fate as Steve Irwin.

Bought, not built. 2/10

There’s a very basic problem with every C7 and below Vette. The C8 is so damn good that every one before was suddenly tossed into the same pile of GM shit as the fucking Camero.

Seriously. It’s a Camero. Without the back seat. That’s how common, uninteresting and average all these cars became the moment the first C8 rolled off the line. You don’t compete with high end sports cars anymore once the C8 appeared. Now you are down in the shit pile with the Mustang and Kia Stinger.

I assume you’re a boomer and your gf is an 18 year old girl from the Philippines

Oh wow I just read that you’re 29. Ok so wanted something flashy for attention but didn’t have a lot of money to work with. Got it

Giving beige Volvos a run for their money. Introducing the StingCliff

It’ll never fit in that sideways garage.

Nice face lifted camaro. Your bank have to verify your age before you ordered it?

Prefer not to roast things I can not afford.

At least when my dad went through this mid life crisis he bought a McLaren, not a Turo spec Camaro Corvette

Hubcaps would've suited it better

It looks like if Hertz was mandated by the government to offer rental Corvettes.

Nice Camaro!

why is it so boring

I’m scared to look cool so I got the most boring corvette I could find

Nice rental car you got there But I think it’s time to return it.

Ima roast you for having stock wheels; for god’s sake at least have those powder coated.

Looks like the car is coated in Dimetapp

The wheels are ugly as fuck

You got the base model of base models

I hope you used a coupon

Here is a 1 of 1 Nightrace Blue C7 with the most boring wheel option imaginable. Leprosy is more fun than those wheels.

Here is a 1 of 1 Nightrace Blue C7 with the most boring wheel option imaginable. Leprosy is more fun than those wheels.

Looks like a Nissan

What is that lack of color

29 going on 50

“ this is 1 of 1 on the blood red moon when it was made”

I drive an Altima so um….good luck with that car insurance.

That’s all I got. 🤷🏿

Want to sell used, under 25k miles and on its 3rd clutch! Great deal for those red light revver!

Looks like a bloated ft86 to me. Come out and beat my time.

Chase Field Beeville 12 Nov '23  

Can you get mall walkers in that color?

Nice Aston.

Take a sports car and paint it the same color blue as a 1999 Dodge Intrepid awesome spending choice

If a blue plate special was a car…

Your vette looks like a used Astin Martin

That doesn't look like a Corvette. It looks like a highly modified Aston Martin with a Corvette badge forced on it.

Did you order your certificate from the museum to prove it's a 1/1 in your options package

Bro is that a corvette cuz it looks like the cyber trucks mentally handicapped cousin.

Did you park stupid just to make this awkward picture? 😂

Too expensive to compare to the Mustang yet too cheap to call a supercar. Base specs just so it doesn't get too expensive.

Half the Muppets on here think Mazda's are better

Looks like it's cosplaying as an aston martin.

"I DON'T NEED ANY OF THEM BELLS AND WHISTLES, THATS JUST MORE STUFF TO BREAK! JUST GIMME THE DAMN CAR!!"

I'm surprised it doesn't have drum brakes in the rear.

My corvette is best corvette because it has no options and is the purest form of the corvette aaahhhhhh.

It’s corvette

I’m here to say I like the color….. other than that…. It’s plain af

Those wheels 😂😂😂💀

Car pulls less vag than Michael Moore

It's actually impressive how Chevrolet can make every generation of Corvette even uglier than the previous one.

looks like you left it in the plastic wrap and didn't drive it.

Corbette. New balangses. Covvee. Carbo Chorts.

Bro trying to flex his no life dog water shit ugly lost car

we don't have to. it basically roasts itself.

Typical Corvette parking job.

looks like any other ordinary vet

Every Vette after 1974 isn't worth owning. That's it.

Are you a warden at a prison? That brick and drive way looks sterile.

Why does it look like a Fisker? Man I’ve been brainwashed to think the Z06 is how all Corvettes should look.

Grosse Corvette? Petite quèquette!

Sorry you couldn’t find a C6

That's a beautiful midlife crisis you got going there...

I kept seeing a honda civic

Why would you try to park it sideways in the garage? Because Corvette.......

It looks like a family car with the stealth package

Did you just get an European corvette?

It's named after a prehistoric fish with no bones. Seems appropriate for a plastic car with a push rod engine, don't you think?

That's the most Nissan Altima looking corvette I've ever seen.

Be sure not to street park it on trash day, they’ll haul it off with the bed frames.

Ok people. I commented - it’s so cute 🥰. Mods said if I didn’t have anything mean to say don’t say anything. My comment was the meanest of them all. I mean who wants a cute car! I demand an apology!

ZO0

As someone also in their late 20's, I would say it's a bummer you can never take more than one friend with you, but judging by your car taste I don't think that'll be a problem.

Don't need to. It's a Corvette. That says everything anyone needs to know

Successful Midwest plumbers Walmart Ferrari

Where is it? I don’t know Can you see it? No it’s very little Does it ever get bigger? It feels like it does driving my vette…

Clean your damn car

How’s your retirement

The official car of midlife crisis victims. Enjoy !

My corvette is best corvette because it's the only base model built in December 11th at 12PM while the line manager was eating a turkey sandwhich.

Those wheels are so ugly 😭

The electrical is going to do that for me

Not rare enough.

Is it a Z51? If so I can’t. If not I’m happy to.

Looks like it has windows that you have to roll up and down.

That’s a $&cking nice corvette.

Looks like an L7 weenie

Looks like the Invetro Coquette before you take it to the shop

Fake Lambo

Is it manual or auto?

What trim? 1LT?

Did you LS swap it

You don't roast eye candy!

This is what i waaaaaant.. stock c7 manual transmission..let ME worry about mods. Im not buying it to take fancy pics in a parking lot, im putting this machine to fucking work lol

How did you manage to find a boring looking Corvette? At least it's a manual, so it should be enjoyable to drive, even if you're embarrassed to be seen in it.

Omg i rented one from turo a while back and the interior was in absolute shambles

Boring is good.

What trash is that? I'd rather pedal my granddaughters ol tricycle than be caught dead in that, no chrome is a no go for this orangatang

The hawk Tuah girl just said that she definitely wouldn't spit on that thang, if you tried to pick her up in that ugly ass Vette.

OMFG!!!! I almost chocked myself reading this while having dinner. This is priceless….PRI-CE-LESS!!!!!

you managed to make a corvette look like a Nissan Z in the back

(might be the lighting)

I like the… uhh… tires. Yes. The tires are nice. What else can they go on?

It’s only has 2 doors!

One of the only cars that makes anyone driving it look like a total knob.

This is the type of mf to go "one of a kind"...

Yeah, you have one of a boring kind.

Sure thing blue dildo.

I feel like any roast I throat at it is jst gonna bounce back at me

What kind of wax do you use? That looks slicker than owl shit

No.

Cars ok ig, this picture sucks pretty bad tho

If the lights don’t flip up and your back lights are not circle shaped. ITS NOT A Corvette. It’s a cheap Ferrari bro.

I've never seen a corvette that said "don't look at me" and "I identify as a Tesla model X" more in my life.

Honestly pretty clean maybe some different rims that would match but looks clean

Your “Corvette” is too boring to roast.

This man managed to blend his corvette into regular traffic. Might as well buy a camry.

Your garage sucks

🔥

It’s like it’s a flashy car without the flashy.

Looks like a aston martin mounted a jaguar just cause he liked her Tata nanos

Monthly payment? Insurance payment? How much for that regret are you paying?

It’s a C7

Paid MSRP when new. Never sold

Ahh didn't have enough money for a Bugatti huh?

It looks like you're trying really really hard for it to look like another car and not a corvette!

Nice z car

No Z06 no care

When your parking bill cost more than the car… What you couldn’t afford a Ferrari? “Look at me while I try to be understated”. Hopefully God does us all a favor and finds a sinkhole for this Vette too…

All that horsepower so you can do the speed limit in the right hand lane

He got a 09 2024

Oh sure it looks like a Ferrari. Until a Ferrari pulls up next to it.

I looked into one while at the dealer and I don’t think I could get back out if I sat in one

How

Stock o base ahh nig

So you paid to get 13mpg in downtown traffic so you could shift gears with your hips? Admirable Though low-key love the lines on that model

Nice Aston Martin

Looks like a kia stinger

Thanks for the comments everyone – my takeaway is i need need wheels for my Camry

It looks like a ferrari superfast

Bro is that a grey interior no fucking way 💀

How did u manage to buy the most regular traffic pooking stingray

It looks like it has 132k miles on it

I had to look twice… thought it was a flattened 350Z.

“Why can’t I park next to the super cars”

Base

You drive stick, you automatically win.

A wannabe Batmobile

it’s just a corvette?

Why roast a British looking Corvette! If you've seen an Aston Martin the rear of the cars body looks like a Aston Martin or a some Japanese cars. Welcome America to a Aston Martin Corvette DB 11.

It’s a corvette drops mic

I thought this was a new Ford Mustang model

I'm surprised to say that I honestly agree with the consensus here. This thing is easily the most boring corvette I've ever seen. I didn't think they made these in a flat broke package. Let me guess, cloth seats? No cruise control?

I get you wanted a corvette real bad and only had corolla money, but I personally would've saved up to maybe buy a corvette with some options on it. Why settle?

As a dealer tech I would double stick those stingray badges on then the front would bump sticker $5000

Looks clean to me lol

Why does it look like that?

Waiter, waiter! More bone stock please!

No

Its a sick looking car, i like the style in the back. Thats all, dont ban me

That Corvette is nice. It's fast, reliable, and practical. You've got enough room for all your friends and still have a spare seat.

Don’t worry, I can’t afford a ZR1 either 😊

Corvettes are a low hanging fruit atp