Advice on how to social climb as a new money trust fund kid?

I need some advice and I feel uncomfortable about this but I really don't know who to ask. I grew up wealthy but it was new money. My parents are amazing people who happened to go from a farm to millions and now I'm expected to inherit $20m and our family is currently worth $80m.

This all sounds so bad to me but I just have to get some real straight advice- How do I find other rich people to hang out with? Like my parents didn't get the old money guide book. We grew up in a very nice area but social climbing was never really my focus or theirs. My family was never tacky with their money or anything and they have some adult rich friends.

But I went off and did my own thing at a good college not really thinking about social status. Got involved in a party community I don't really respect anymore now that I'm nearing 30 and feel like I fucked up in a way. My parents were always just "follow your passions!" and I didn't get any real guidance... I'm realizing I probably should have tried networking better but at the time money didn't seem to really matter that much... but now I'm getting older and want to do all these nice things with the money I have but my friends can't afford it. I feel like a bad person for saying this but I just want to be around people who can afford to do nice things... I'm ready for something different.

Basically, I'm trying to social climb as someone with money and not sure how to do it. I'm thinking law school? or business school? I don't know. I hate even asking these questions it feels like I shouldn't care about social status but I just don't know any people to talk to about this and how to get real advice.

in RichPeoplePFby poorlilrichgirl-

39%

randyy308

I think you are getting hated on because you used a really bad word choice. Social climbing has a very negative connotation.

Let's say you are looking to find friends and meet people who can afford to do nicer things that you know your current friends can't or won't afford. Doesn't that sound less terrible?

Join a private club or country club. Try to get on a board of directors at a nonprofit if it's something you could bring value to, or simply get involved with some non-profits you believe in.

ClercLecharles

Why do you want to social climb? Your friends are your friends.

finan-throwaway

I can’t relate to this at all.

Hang with your friends. Do the things that make you happy. This idea of social climbing sounds like creating a set of bullshit values you don’t care about and holding yourself to them.

If you want to find some other friends that can afford to do things you want to do, go do those things- people you meet there will have proven interest and financial ability.

_mdz

Sounds like a good plan. Find a group of rich friends who can spend more, spend money with them, end up broke.

regan9109

Having good friends is way more important than having other wealthy friends. We have plenty of friends that can't afford the same lifestyle as us, so we'll just pay their way if we really want them there to share in the experience. Also, if you attempt to social climb, you may find out that others are much wealthier than you, and then you become the poor friend who can't afford to do anything.

Maybe you just don't have any good friendships now because your expected inheritance has gotten to your head, and you think you're better than people whose parents didn't get extremely lucky?

Sensitive_Store8369

You don’t need rich friends.

As someone from old money and a highly respectable and well known family, none of my very close friends are ‘higher in status and wealth ’ than me, but they don’t even know that because, in fact, we don’t give af how rich each other is we’re just friends and that’s that.

Rich and middle class ppl can both be assholes or very good friends. Ofc it’s good to have friends who can help you out, and you should have good connections with wealthy ppl that can help you out, but your friends that you just wanna sit down and chill with? Wealth should not be your priority in a friendship, especially those types of friendships.

McKnuckle_Brewery

Not sure why you want to hang out specifically with rich people. Having money isn't really a personality trait or an aspect of a person's character. It's not even intrinsically interesting. It doesn't make someone wise, intelligent (different things, those two), creative, sexy, fun, or kind.

Rich people can be vapid and insufferable just as easily as they can be your best lifelong friend. Money isn't the root of any of that.

You went to a "good" college but didn't find quality people to socialize with? What about now - do you not have a career in a field where you meet diverse, interesting people? What are your own personal goals to develop as a human, regardless of your current or future wealth? Getting involved in those pursuits should help you find kindred spirits to relate to.

If you're approaching 30 you're not going to find many people who are sitting idle with pockets full of cash to throw around carelessly. Most people of that age are pursuing careers, families, and developing themselves in more substantive ways.

Jandur

Not sure why you want to hang out specifically with rich people

A lot of rich people gravitate towards other rich people because they can afford to share the same lifestyle. If you're going to Monaco for a week many prefer to be with someone less financially constrained.

You absolutely shouldn't make friends strictly on the basis if money and having friends of all socio-economic groups is super valuable. But at the same time it's also valuable having a social circle that is on the same page.

McKnuckle_Brewery

“On the same page” means something different to you than it does to me, I guess.

Jandur

I could have qualified it with "on the same page financially" but I thouht that was clear given the topic and my comment about having friends of all ranges.

McKnuckle_Brewery

Yes I was admittedly being a little snarky, as maybe we are saying mostly the same thing.

My upbringing - socioeconomic status, where I lived, level and quality of education, activities I could participate in, career selection - influenced the people I consorted with. And it was a natural outcome that at least some of them would have financial success.

The fact that we can drop money on nice dinners and wine when we go out is just a bonus, though, as it's their company and conversation that I actually value. I don't hang out with them just so I can have nice meals.

I recently went to Europe with an old school friend. I bought a business class ticket but he needed to stay in economy. We still had a good time and split everything else. I guess I'm questioning OP's explicit desire to seek out rich people; it seems pretty empty and pathetic as an end in itself.

Sufficient-Survey877

Expensive hobbies. Sailing and equestrian. Focus on fun it will happen.

Dvthdude

Freakin Dewalt over here. However, I would suggest you go do a few of the rich people things you're desiring solo and you can meet the other wealthy peeps there. At best, you'll meet some people there or at least one who you vibe with. At worst, you can knock some of these "nice things" off your list.

Lumpy_Taste3418

That isn't social climbing, that is social falling. Having friends for nothing but superficial purposes is the bottom of the social hierarchy, not the top. You can do that while poor, middle class, or rich. Nothing about that is exclusive to rich people.

Unlucky_Pomelo_7913

OP, going to jump in here and give you some empathy. To be clear, I am nowhere near the financial levels you have described, but I am significantly more well off than all of my friends and family (my career choice).

I get you. I often wonder if I need new friends, mostly because I want to do things that my friends cannot afford, and I don’t want to always have to pay. I have no actionable advice, but wanted to say I hear you.

NoDrama3756

Money doesn't mAke people happy. The amount of money your friends have or don't have is irrelevant to friendship...

If you just plan out your adventures ahead of time, your friends will likely go. For example, we went safari hunting in Africa. I told them 2 years in advance and asked them if they wanted to go. They paid thier way. She had a great week of hunting.

You should be following your Interests even now. Whatever they may be.

Whether that be formal education, travel, or a new hobby...

Likely if you get OUT OF THE HOUSE MORE you'll meet more affluent people. You have to go out and do the things that interest you. Don't let life pass you by. Regret is a b!tch. Also you went to college no one should be really dirt poor where they can't afford a week in Bali if given a few weeks to months notice.

Go live your life!

rednas11

Is this for real? Just look for people you enjoy spending time with, regardless of their NW..

dadarknight07

Yuppy Ivy League/M7 business school was built for your scenario haha

Apply to Dartmouth or one of the other prestigious schools and go to the one that accepts you. Full of high brow leisure activities like skiing and travel etc while schmoozing with other well off people.

Also pick up expensive hobbies that tend to also attract younger folks. Skiing, golfing, weekend racing, sailing are a few things that come to mind. You get the picture.

I don’t get why people are beating you down. It’s perfectly ok to have friends across the wealth spectrum. Good people are good people regardless of networth. You’re just asking how to find good people at the upper end of that spectrum. Doesn’t equate to you looking down at the other end of the spectrum. Good luck!

https://www.reddit.com/r/ChubbyFIRE/s/dIhoUKtsSJ for hobby ideas

poorlilrichgirl-

Honestly I used bad wording because I know I'm being kind of an asshole but I just wanted to be real

Logical-Primary-7926

Tbh sometimes I wish I had more "rich" friends just in terms of being to relate to people economically. Like if you can rent a yacht it's harder to relate to a buddy that is going camping for vacation, and there are a lot of other things it would be nice to relate to people on in that sense too not just vacation, like talking about a lot of the stuff in this forum. But that said, I don't particularly respect or share the same values with a lot of the people in my same income range. So I think it makes the most sense to find people with similar core values and find ways to relate regardless of your personal finances. And if you're lucky maybe get involved in some fancy hobbies or schools and you'll meet people with similar values and similar economics.

abnormal_human

You sound like you are deliberately trying to become an insufferable human being. You don't even have the money yet and you're talking like this?

The more you concern yourself with living a 20m lifestyle with friends at the same "level", the less happy you will be. Learn to share what you have with your friends in a way that makes everyone feel comfortable.

Also, wealthy people aren't going to want to be around you if you give off strong "I have a lot of money, but I didn't earn it, and I don't understand the value of it" vibes, like you are doing right now. If you're going to be an inherited wealth rich dude, learn to respect the privilege and carry yourself properly.

You've got 20m in your pocket. You're rich forever. You're de-risked. You'll live in a nice house and your kids will go to nice schools. You never have to suffer a job you don't like. You can make rational choices without regard for financial limitations 99.9% of the time. Congratulations. That's what you "got" here. It's huge.

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