I'm reading Chambliss's How College Works, and he mentions a dinner at a professor's house as a paradigmatic interaction that could have a long-term positive effect on a student's college career. Do you ever have students over for dinner?
A respected teacher who invites students into her home can become a role model for intellectual life; friends who study seriously increase one’s own time studying; intense arguments with dormmates often provide the most salient moral education.
Students as in undergrads? No, never. I might have lunch with students on-campus, but never at home.
I have invited my phd’s to my house on various occasions.
Agree - I have had lunch w students at a cafeteria on campus (though that is/has been rare). I would never have students to my home.
We aren’t allowed to have undergrads to our houses. Grad students, yes.
As in a written OP?
Only graduate students , that’s it. Another professor invites everyone for a Christmas party every year , including undergraduates (but only those working in our labs or involved in undergraduate research), faculty, and administrative staff. The professor never invites anyone else. I think is a good policy like that
My PI used to invite everybody in the lab to his thanksgiving dinner. Most of us were international students and that was really appreciated by us.
My PI invited us for easter -- most of us did not celebrate easter (so we didn't go home for it) but it was always appreciated to have a home cooked meal during a stressful part of the semester!
I do this but only with graduate students.
Love this!
Usually I have my undergrad seminar students over to my house to celebrate the semester.
hilarious username
This username is purely factual.
You host for 100+ college kids?? That's how many I think of when I hear undergrad seminar.
Why would you think that? Seminars tend to be small.
Ohhh you know what, I was thinking of lecture halls for some reason 🤦♀️
Many small liberal-arts colleges used to have these kinds of experiences. In many cases, they accomplished exactly what Chambliss and Takacs articulate--they built mentorship and helped faculty be able to give wise counsel to students about their overall direction in life. This part of the argument in How College Works is so crucial--that even at the very end of an undergraduate's work, if there's one professor who understands that student so well that they can help them build a narrative that arranges all of what they have studied and all of what they hope to do next. I think C&T are completely correct that this is extraordinarily high-impact on student outcomes.
The problem in this case is that many administrations have moved in the opposite direction out of a belief that faculty hosting student dinners in their home was inviting inappropriate behavior. I think they're right inasmuch as that if a faculty were sexually predatory (or otherwise given to inappropriate interactions), those dinners make it more likely. But I think that this reaction has seriously eroded one valuable opportunity for students to get highly personal and profoundly transformative advice from valued faculty mentors. I also think in some cases when students see a professor in a more complete way, they often can connect to their academic guidance in a more sustained way--it creates trust and context.
Though there's yet another side of this, which is that many faculty who disliked the feeling that they were obliged to host such dinners are quite happy to see that obligation disappear.
There are probably some in-between ways to keep what's good in this going--maybe a departmental dinner hosted in a larger venue, a departmental BBQ, etc.--the more faculty who are present and the more the place is neutral ground, the more it's safe. But I have to say that I really valued the social events that I went to as an undergraduate at several faculty houses near campus--it made a big difference to me in terms of being able to imagine what being a faculty member might be like.
It would help if admin would get rid of the sexually predatory faculty instead of looking the other way after something happens.
As someone at a SLAC, my department graduates 120+ students per year making it unwieldy. I'm sure most of A&S could do this as they have more faculty lines than students graduating with their degree.
I'm surprised this was published in 2018. When I was an undergrad, my professor had us over to his house a few times, it was lovely. As a grad student, I never once saw the inside of a professor's home.
I've had groups of students over a couple times, and I've invited former students who have graduated to stop by. But I'm wary of making it a regular thing, as it's difficult to tell who holds a grudge. I've seen peers get in trouble for very minor things, and some skate by with egregious behavior.
When I was Graduate Coordinator, I always had a party at my house for grad students. It was a lot of fun!
My mentor in undergrad did this. Top intellectual in his field, Ivy educated, prestigious endowed professor, like the Platonic ideal of a professor if there ever was one. Without him taking me his wing and supporting me, I never would be where I am today. I went to a shitty rural high school and had no clue. But I was excited to learn and he saw that.
I had a small seminar this year and had those students over a few times, my attempt to pay it forward. They are seniors many nontraditional. Students were from marginalized backgrounds, and I’ve tried to do for them what was done for me, what made all the difference. The guidance I’ve been given in my department is that there should be no alcohol, even if we go to a restaurant.
But I do agree with most people here, most of these students these days I don’t even want to have a coffee with them because they’re so rude and immature.
20 years ago, I would do this.
Not today. Students are way too immature. It's a disaster waiting to happen, especially for male professors.
My seminar professor did this when I was a student (ahem….almost 20 years ago). We went to his apartment, his girlfriend made us lasagna, someone brought a cake that said “happy fucking birthday” (it was no one’s birthday) and we played guitar hero.
I’m the child of two professors and even 20-30 years ago it wasn’t done (at least where I am). I only remember one student my parents ever had over for dinner, my childhood best friend’s mum who also happened to be a PhD student in my mum’s lab. Us kids went to the same university-run daycare so it was more of a social playground-mummy-friends thing for the sake of your children than formally having dinner with your professor, I guess.
No, for a few reasons, not the least of which is that I don’t live particularly close to campus. But some professors do. Our chair does (and we have our meetings at their house.) I think the culture of the university is a HUGE factor. One or two of my undergrad professors did. I don’t think it made a huge impact on me, but it was nice. I have thought about hosting some sort of gathering - either in a large classroom or a local park or something.
On a related note, our own kid’s teacher hosted a big group of high schoolers for a study session this week. I didn’t feel hesitant about our kid attending that.
Yeah, as part of lab parties. Singling out a single individual? Definitely not!
NE SLAC here and I invite all the students who are seniors and graduating in my Major for a dinner the weekend before graduation. Usually with them and a guest it’s about 20. I’ve never had any problems/complaints/issues.
As a grad student my advisor has had as over everytime something big has happened in our lab i.e paper published, defense, graduation.
No way. My home is where I go to get away from students
I was in a small class during undergrad and a professor had the whole class over for brunch at one point. It’s dependent on the professor and the size of their home. It would be pretty ridiculous to host a dinner in my dingy little apartment. My university has a professor in residence program where your home is on campus and parts of it are open to students. That would be my personal hell but some faculty like doing that.
I try have my lab students - grads and undergrads over for a bqq each year. I want to my professors house once awhile when I was a grad student in the 90/
Sure, grads and undergrads. Many of the undergrads that I invite over (and that my wife brings over from her lab) as part of organized events publish papers in solid to top tier journals for the field (two different undergrads on two different papers this year so far, one first author). I don't typically cook those nights (more often I'll order takeout) but when I do its generally outdoor barbequing. When I was in grad school, there were several professors across the programs and what not that regularly invited students over. We also meet at coffee houses and breweries as groups and debate topics in the field as they emerge. It seems to promote good scholarship as many of these students have gone on to win highly competitive national and international awards, scholarships, etc as a function of their research acumen. I approach training via the junior mentor model, and I find that these types of behavior can also be appropriate in other work settings. So I treat it as a work related level of professionalism and boundaries. I also find this prepares my students for the world beyond college and their youth.
Also, research suggests that alliance between advisor and mentor is critical to all sorts of outcomes, including research productivity. I do some research on educational outcomes of trainees and I'm reviewing a paper in another window related to the topic. With healthy boundaries and strong relationships comes effective work outcomes that are even enjoyable.
Absolutely not, I will never do that. Aside from the fact that I don’t want that kind of relationship with students, there’s too much risk involved for me.
As a woman who lives alone... I feel this way for sure.
It is also isn't a thing people do at my university (state school in the US). I almost only teach undergrads.
When I was in my doctoral program, I went to some of my professors' houses.
I enjoyed attending these dinners as both an undergrad and grad student, and as a grad student myself I always thought I would have students over. But now, no. Too much risk and I have realized I just don't want that kind of relationship with students anymore. Frankly the students I teach are far from elite and are already involved in some unsavory things that I would not want to be associated with either.
Maybe students who aren't "elite" and are "involved in some unsavory things" are exactly the kind of students who need "a role model for the intellectual life."
True, but I can't take that on myself. I see students snapping cell phones pics in classes and around the clock, discussing how they make money online, and I can't bring that risk into my home. It's my job, not my family's, and they have a right to privacy from students.
So students who have to earn money while they’re in school, and students who take selfies are a risk?
I am curious what makes them a risk.
It's clearly porn, Joe. The risk is having students make porn in your house.
It was not clearly porn. Maybe it is because so many of my students earn their living online in legit jobs, that was the last thing I thought this was about.
It is like we tell our students, come right out and say what you mean to avoid confusion. Do not assume the reader shares your experience.
I mean, porn is pretty clearly what the person you were responding to was referencing when they wrote "snapping cell phones pics in classes and around the clock, discussing how they make money online." To imagine a legitimate business use in that context is strange to me. Experiences vary but it's clear from the context that person's not discussing typical remote work, lol.
I guess you have more experience with porn than I do. My students refer making money online and snap pictures all the time. So my first thought is "medical billing."
You make yourself sound like the most helplessly naive person in the world. From the context of this conversation, you thought “medical billing”? Yeah, I imagine I do know more about porn than you.
They're referring to things like drugs and Only Fans 🙄 Stop virtue signaling
Not virtue signalling at all. What you wrote made it sound pretty innocuous. You said nothing about porn or drugs.
About half of my students make their money doing remote jobs online like medical billing etc.
And all of them like taking pictures--but will put the phones away when asked to. (Our department has a strict rules pictures and recording in class.)
I didn't write the initial post and YES you keep virtue signaling and it's annoying af
I've re-read your comment several times and I can't figure out what the fuck you're trying to say.
The word "right," in this context. What do you think it means?
In other words, nobody said or implied that you were required to have students in your house.
What risk?
Anything and everything. I have an extremely off-color sense of humor. I might say the wrong thing for the context because I am in my own home. They might have an accident on the way home After having a drink in their own car and decide I served them And I am to blame. They or their parents could make any sort of claim they want about some thing that I did, and regardless of whether that happened, I would be fucked. There is additional context, that applies to me, and could apply to many other people, That I do not want to divulge, that could make one vulnerable to any sort of claim Of wrongdoing. Because of those additional contexts that I believe, make me more vulnerable than average, in the regular workplace, I am sure as hell not going to amplify that risk by inviting students to my home. I am comfortable that I give more than enough of myself, and my time at work, I am not gonna go beyond. I am honestly surprised that these risks are not apparent to everyone. I have dealt with more than my share of unhinged students, Parents, faculty, and administration, that I have very little faith that any of these people would have my back.
How do you step out of your house on any given day?
I find your comment condescending and ignorant.
Willfully ignorant, even.
I find your comment paranoid and insecure.
I am surprised that one cannot imagine the contexts that I mentioned that would make a person particularly vulnerable to false claims. Last word is yours because I don’t really care
What possible context? We're all vulnerable to false claims all the time.
Ignorance is bliss. And you're a very happy person.
Do you often mistake the cryptic for the profound?
¯_(ツ)_/¯
I used to. Then I had the most destructive and violent student I’ve had as a professor, and I didn’t want him to know where I lived.
At least you knew they were destructive and violent ahead of time.
I host a BBQ for my debate team every year but I know those kids really well.
Yup, a few times a semester. It's encouraged, and often paid for by school funds. But I'm at a residential LAC.
No -- I live in a one room apartment with a cat who isn't a huge fan of unknown people. It is more common for more established professors in the department to host get togethers for the graduating seniors and any faculty who want to come or an entire upper-level lab or seminar though. Never with students individually though.
"cat says no."
(my current cat would probably say "yes," tho.)
“Hope you like cats” I say as the poor first guest immediately has two cats on their lap followed by an overeager 85 pound lab
In my classes? No. In my research lab? Yes. To celebrate achievements or major milestones and once a a year for a lab Halloween party.
I host a big end of year holiday party with my lab members, both grad and undergrad, and affiliated faculty. It is probably one of the best days of the year for me!
In undergrad, my experimental designs prof hosted multiple dinners for students. He just bough a handful of pizzas and invited is to a conference roomon campus. It wasn't major, but I still remember it 8 years later.
No, but when I was an undergrad a professor took a few of us on his sailboat during our first year. It was definitely impactful in a positive way.
Not a professor, but I have a very fond memory of a prof doing this when I was in undergrad. I was 19, her 8 year old was walking around with beers for us, and everything about it seemed legally dubious.
But I remember it incredibly fondly. It meant a lot to us as I’m sure it would mean a lot to your students.
I'm the advisor for History club and I have them over to my house at the end of every year for a medieval feast, which they help prepare.
I heard of a history professor who had one of his students--a kid who was dropping out of Pencey--stop by. The history professor attempted to offer a bit of sage advice, but the student--who was sagacious in his own way--was, we'll say, less than impressed.
Classic!
When I was an undergrad working on my thesis year (5-year B.Arch, last year was a thesis) my studio professor had our class to their home multiple times. We never did dinner exactly, but we spent time there discussing studio stuff and had snacks. We also met once at a local brewery. This was in the 2000s.
It made my thesis studio professor much more human to me. It was also nice to get out of the studio, lol!
When I was a grad student, one of the professors invited the entire class to his beach house (about 40 minutes away) for a grill out. It is one of my best memories from grad school—more so because it was a great chance to meet and bond with my peers, and some of my closest grad school friendships started that day. I also grilled out, socialized, and drank with a few other professors (their students invited them to social events that I was also invited to), and it was definitely fun.
I wouldn’t do this with undergrads. My current department only has MS students and many of them are online only, so I doubt I’ll ever host those kinds of events since our relationship isn’t as long term as that between professors and PhD candidates.
Yup. In fact, I just attended the wedding of two of my best students.
They met roasting marshmallows in my backyard ❤️
I went to a small liberal arts college and I still remember the times my professors (upper division courses, less than 12 students) invited us over for dinner. It was always a ton of fun getting to know the profs in a different context.
Used to often, full classes, every year. But about ten years ago many of them stopped showing even after rsvps were in, and it didn't seem worth the effort. So now we host the seniors from our department in spring for a celebration potluck, and my partner's students (about a dozen) come a few times a year to all cook a meal together. Also usually some for Thanksgiving each year, ones who can't travel home. Sometimes we'll have a smaller group for dessert or something, like when I have a big group of thesis students (big is like 6-7). But I stopped routinely inviting larger groups like my first year seminars well before covid.
I had a lot of events at faculty homes as a student in the 80s. Really enjoyed those. It's still a pretty common thing at slacs like mine. We have students house sit, dog sit, and when our kids were here babysit as well.
I took a very small upper level course on literary theory. The professor invited the class over to his house one weekend afternoon for a lunch/drinking/dinner time. It's honestly one of my fondest memories from college. I had a great time! Really fascinating conversations with that professor and his partner, and it was good to speak to my classmates (who I'd had great in-class discussions with) in a less formal setting.
I'm not saying anyone should do this of course but shoutout to the guy who did, one of my favorite experiences from that time in my life.
a paradigmatic peer interaction
We are not peers.
peers
Are you a role model?
I'm not sure, either if I am or if I want to be. But I am sure that I do not want current students to consider me their peer. We are not. There is a power imbalance.
Serious question. I’m a new professor and I’m going to be around the same age as many of the grad students at my school. I’m actually very nervous about how to keep in mind the inherent power imbalance that exists while also not being that super cold professor nobody enjoys to be around. I don’t “feel” that professorish, but I want to be confident as well
Everyone need to find the balance that works for them. I had my first TT position at 27 and had to be conscious of these things as well. I now find it rather easy to be friendly, warm, and empathetic in a professional manner, hang out at work and at conferences, but be more than happy with not being a student's friend or wanting them to hang out with me. Oddly enough, a lot of that changes once they graduate. I often take an extra day or two at conferences to travel with my former students and sometimes with my advisor.
Noooo nope nope. I only meet students on campus. I can mentor them perfectly well without inviting them to my house. I also did not get invited to a faculty member's home until I was a Ph.D. student.
Graduate students, perhaps, but not undergrads.
I did undergraduate research in college, and my professor had the students in his lab over to his house for dinner once near the end of the school year. He was a very laidback yet professional sort and was also married with children, and it was no big deal. We were juniors and seniors and had more of a colleague/mentor relationship with the professor.
Today, I teach at a CC, and there is no way I would have students over to my house. I have lots of nice students, but I don’t mentor any of them beyond the conventional classroom. Inviting some and not others would be favoritism, and I also don’t want to risk the liability or accusations of any conduct that’s less than professional. Plus, it’s a safety thing. I don’t want them to know where I live.
Yes, undergrads in my lab as part of lab activities. Usually 2-3x per year.
I host a Friendsgiving at my house each year. I like to cook and have a small family so I like doing it. Builds connections in the doctoral program I think.
I teach a section or two of a class for first-year students who are majors in my department, in their first semester of college. We have them over for dinner midway through the semester, and it’s always fun. The department pays for the food and we cook.
Yep.
Every break, I invite students I work with over to my house for lunch.
Same thing for Thanksgiving dinner - open invite for all students in my circle who don't have somewhere to be.
And we have an end of year celebration dinner for graduating seniors from my program.
It seems to be appreciated.
I never have myself, but like many others on here have the best memories of attending events at professors houses. I was at an R1 for my masters, and another R1 for my doctorate, and both places regularly had student get-together at their houses. Hosts were usually program or department chairs. We had holidays at their places, celebrated the end of the semester, part of interview weekend was always a huge party at one of the faculty’s homes.
Getting to meet the families of my professors and my classmates was so humanizing. Seeing this whole other side of their lives outside of school/lab was a bonding experience for all is us. It helped me see myself in the profession and actually belonging there.
I have my research team over for a bbq every spring. Usually about 5 undergrads and a couple grad students. Have games with little prizes. Fun times.
Faculty member here was told they would never make full professor because they had students in their major to their house for dinner.
School policy is pretty strict: no contact with students off campus outside school sanctioned events. So obviously my answer is no.
Absolutely not. I like my students, try to build relationships, and keep in touch post-graduation, but I have personal boundaries and value my privacy. I have no interest sharing where I live or my home with my students. They don't need to see photos of my kids, my personal belongings, or how I choose to live my life away from school.
I'm more than happy to have a coffee or meal with students on campus or at a local establishment but my home is totally out of bounds. Relationship building in no way has to involve bring students there.
Nope. Buy lunch on campus or a local public restaurant? Sure I’m a fan of the idea and have made a difference. I don’t need them to know where I live
Nooooooooo..... not this group.
Or the one before. Or the one before them. The one before that, probably not. The one before them, definitely not. And an emphatic no to the ones who preceded them, as well.
Well, no.
That would require me to have furniture so that people have places to sit that are not the floor, along with the desire and ability to cook something that people might be interested in eating.
I have no objections to it, but my apartment is kind of small and my husband is a pretty hardcore introvert. A few grad students have been in, but that's about it. I enjoyed my times going to professor's houses when I was young, but the pub is much better suited for socialising. Since the drinking age is 18 where I live, and I don't drink at all, the pub would be perfectly appropriate.
Hell no. Boundaries are important.
No because 1) Boundaries. 2) I'm not paid enough to host events at my house, nor do I have the time and resources to do the rest of my job. 3) I'm not the kind of person to invite people to my house for dinner, unless is close friends.
I will take students that work closely with me, undergrad or grad, to campus lunch, or conference dinner. I think that is a good alternative.
My goodness. People are thinking about liability and lawsuits stemming from a dinner. WTF? Seems like 24/7 news cycle is working out.
I'm a Scout leader and so I work with actual children and I'm not this weirdly/fantastically paranoid.
A child probably doesn't have anything to gain - nor would they even think of this - by lying about you, or tryin to get you into some kind of situation for their own benefit.
A 20 year-old can do it - they want good grades, or extract money from the university or something? Yeah that can happen
A child probably doesn't have anything to gain - nor would they even think of this - by lying about you, or tryin to get you into some kind of situation for their own benefit.
Who's naive now?
Compare that child to a 20 year old. I know who is more likely and more capable of doing it.
Research the McMartin preschool trial and how the children were interviewed.
Feel free to critique your own point here in terms of relevance to.... anything
It’s not the 1950’s anymore. So, no.
Maybe the 50's were better in this regard.
You get paid enough to do something like this? I know I don't.
How much do you think something like this could possibly cost?
I have, colleagues have as well. It’s not something everyone does or does often, but it happens.
I was invited to houses as an MA student but not as an undergrad.
Before our program closed, I took our 10 program students out to lunch a few years ago. We had a good time.
I have my student staff over at the end of each semester. I give them a budget, they plan the party, and I host. It’s usually s’mores and a fire pit or a pizza party, so this isn’t a formal dinner party. But I think they get a kick out of getting off campus, hanging out with my family/dog, and relaxing.
I went to a teeny tiny private women’s college. A lot of our profs live in houses on campus. I definitely went to the houses of a couple of profs for dinner at the end of the semester, but only under a whole-class invitation. It tended to be only my profs for my major too.
Yup, almost always after an intensive fieldcourse in which I get to know the students much better vs. the usual classroom setting. We do a pot luck, screen some video from the fieldcourse, get updates about each student's career moves post-course, and wax reminiscent about the amazing times we had in the field.
Every semester, I invite my current research team and all my former grad students over for a BBQ. It's a great time.
I’ve had my research assistants over as a group (undergrads), we played board games and had pizza!
Not personally, but I know someone who does. His house is literally right next door and he has students who work in his lab over all the time. He occasionally hosts class in his back yard as well.
As an undergrad, I went to multiple professors houses for dinner. For one specifically, it was hugely important to my college career.
As a post grad credential student, I went to a party/shindig at a professor’s house. It was a fun time.
As a professor, just today, I took my young me kids to my (now-previous) students kid’s birthday party. They (and I) loved it.
I say go for it if you’ve got good rapport.
My research lab professor had a group of students over at his house at the end of the semester for a celebration/networking with former students but it is definitely atypical and all of us were grad students or recent grads.
I invite students to outside events like going to see movies and talking about them. A friend of mine has groups over to play boardgames. Not really guidance-type stuff.
I have my academic team (and former teammates who are still in town) over for dinner at the end of each semester. I think it's really important.
Not a dinner, but our department used to have a fall party for phd students and faculty every year at a different faculty member's house each year. Great opportunity to meet one's cohorts, faculty, and get a peek inside their homes. My grad advisor did hold regular dinners and/or parties for his students and fellow faculty friends at his home as well. The dept ceased the home parties quite a while back though.
I host a barbecue at my house at the end of every semester for everyone from my upper division classes. It usually goes well, though I live far enough away from campus that only about 1/3 of thr students make the trip to attend.
Before I moved to a tiny apartment this past year, I would open up my house to anyone on Thanksgiving who had no place to go.
As a grad student- my advisor has always hosted end of semester lab parties for everyone involved in the lab (grad and undergrad) at his home.
As an undergrad- My honors program director did a dinner for seniors at her house where we reflected on our time in the program and at college. It was sweet.
Pre-Covid, I did. Another of my colleagues still does for one of her upper level classes.
I just haven’t had the energy since.
But there was a big caveat - it was usually only the students who were involved in our department student organizations (there are two and I’m advisor for one) and there’s significant overlap between leadership and membership for both clubs. When we would have our end of the year get together, I always hosted it with the other faculty advisor so it wasn’t just me (and spouse) with the students. It was usually a thing that was in the back yard, rather than inside.
I know I’m not supposed to be in this subreddit but my Prof from Louisiana invited us (small undergrad class) over to his house one weekend for a shrimp boil and it was fire bruh. That Prof is such a g and I loved his class. Maybe it seems in appropriate to invite students to ur house but I know that many of us appreciate the offers and many of us find it fun. It’s a chance to get away from the constant work etc and hang out with someone we like. :D
I haven't for many years until last semester when I had a great and small class. I offered them lunch after an hour-long class at my house. It was largely to promote friendship among them since it seems like an increasingly rare commodity nowadays. I hate it when students don't talk to each other but stare at their phones.
Students loved the event, so I did it again this semester with about nine students. They really appreciated it. It seemed to work. There were some groups, but after the event, the boundaries became loose.
I will do it again when I feel absolutely comfortable with all the students in the class, which might not come easily or often.
Nope. I used to host dinners for my grad students but not any more. I will meet them at a coffee shop or at a public place with others for dinner but not at my house. All of these people "but whyyyy??!" Seriously?? have you not heard of #metoo or read about any of the problems coming from the Antarctic research lab and gender/power differentials and how that plays out? No bueno, better just to avoid all of that, imho. We can have rigorous debates and chat and chew in public.
I would rather leave the profession. Lunch in the dining hall or even a cheap cafe near campus? Absolutely. In my house? Never gonna happen.
Admittedly, I live quite far away so it’ll be unlikely to be a possibility even if I wanted it to
Way too much liability.
What liability could that be?
No. I teach exclusively lower division and there's a million reasons why I would not. Including that it's just not part of my campus culture.
I would, however, love to do something like host meals for international students, through that program one day.
Sure I have, when I was at a private LA institution. Now that I'm at a public R2, eeeeeeeee.
When I attended, and then taught at, a very small and wonderful slac it was not unusual.
Now I'm at a community college and never happens. Totally different atmosphere. And totally different time.
My mother said it happened when she was in post grad in the 70s, but I've personally never witnessed it.
Seems like a nice idea.
I have semester end dinner with my TAs in fancy restaurants. Some of the past students who live in the area sometimes like to meet over lunch, and I always try to meet.
I know professors at the local uni who have done this, though it has definitely tapered off since COVID. I also think they mainly only invited seniors (and grad students) over. The professors who I've seen doing this are older and mostly dual-academic couples. About 30 years ago when my ex was a Freshman at a SLAC we got invited over to one of the prof's houses for a house party, he and his wife were both academics and were nearing retirement age. I seem to recall we were the only young people there (I was not actually a student then), I doubt we were the only ones invited, but I also doubt that many were, it was basically a semi-formal dinner party. I currently teach at a community college where we aren't allowed to even give students our phone number or non-college e-mail, so invitations would definitely be out of the question. I think it depends on many factors, but it's definitely the exception.
honestly, that idea was problematic in 2017 when it was written. it isn't any safer for a professor to do this now.
How is it "unsafe"?
you don't have the benefit of third party witnesses to any behavior exhibited at dinner.
your responses here seem to ignore the fact that students will lie, cheat, and steal to get what they want. this can absolutely tank your career.
you don't have the benefit of third party witnesses to any behavior exhibited at dinner
But you do. The other students. Your spouse and children. I was considering going halfsies on a catered tacos with the other faculty member in my department.
What are you imagining? Some candlelight dinner with a sweet young thing less than half my age? C'mon, man.
Listen, you're the one who asked the original question. If you feel like it, knock yourself out. But maybe you should stop arguing with everyone who isn't comfortable with it because there are some very valid reasons to be wary. We get it - you disagree - fine.
It seems like all you really want is an argument, so edit your original post to: "I want to invite my students over and I think it's fine. Post your rebuttal here so I can argue with you."
I have neither a spouse nor children. if I had a family like that I wouldn't have them at home because my job isn't their job.
It doesn't matter what i imagine but what students can imagine.
you don't have the benefit of third party witnesses to any behavior exhibited at dinner.
I mean, you can? Team up with a colleague and both go.
so I'd have to rope someone else into this horrible idea? lol no!
No, because I cannot afford to buy a house in my HCOL area.
I’ll take my lab out to lunch to celebrate occasions. That way all risk is pretty much averted.
Risk?
As a student in the 2000s I partied at professors' houses all the time. Those days are over. I would NEVER.
I won’t even tell my students what city I live in, just that I’m an hour out from campus. No way would I have them in my home - I have young kids and honestly, we don’t really know our students.
Happy to grab a coffee or something on campus, but I already struggle with a subset of students every semester that try to emotionally manipulating me for preferential treatment, higher grades, etc. It’s better for me to keep a boundary and not mix the two.
It seems like half the people that post here have vindictive students that post crap about them on RMP and in their end of term evaluations. These are the students you're supposed to invite over for dinner and board games?
I don't (knowingly) have students like this. I'd rather not find out.
Lunch on campus or at restaurants in groups, they drive themselves. That is all for me.
Almost forgot : since I don’t invite the undergraduate students home for dinner, what I do is 1-2 a semester I bring pizzas right before class starts … they stay , eat and works better than candy , ha!
Given what higher education is like now, I would never do this. I share as little about myself as possible, the most thing I would share is my pets (as they the students interested). anything else is ticking time bomb.
Even the adults I get who express that they would want to get together off campus I say professionally no to. Now I'll go grab some lunch with one on campus after their final grade has been submitted but I would never invite a student to my house.
Never. I was invited to prof's houses as a grad student, but that was many decades ago and in Europe.
That seems like something that used to happen a generation or more ago, but now, rarely if ever.
Maybe we should bring it back.
I've eaten with students as part of a club function. Not at my house though.
In grad school, I went to restaurants occasionally with professors, but not to their house either.
No. We only have taught undergrads. When my husband was teaching at a SLAC we had a student catsit for us, and a student dropped by a couple of times. When our kids were young, we only entertained kids and very close friends. We were very child-centered at that time.
My husband's department used to have get togethers when they had a department secretary who was great at organizing things, but after she retired, her position wasn't replaced, and no one organized anything. They get together in smaller groups for lunch/coffee
Ironically we lived in a student neighborhood near campus, so many of our neighbors were students.
I'd consider meeting students in a coffeeshop or on campus, but I like my home being private.
I would never, ever have current students over to my home. I have met some former students at restaurants, coffee shops, etc.
This kind of close contact with professors is (or at least WAS) an Ivy League thing.
Asking for trouble on so many levels. There’s no upside to this. Plenty of places on campus that’s not an office.
I would for graduate students, but not for most undergrads. I did attend a recent grad's wedding once.
Hell no
Research students only. I find them to be a bit more mature.
In Australia undergraduate classes mostly have 20 or more students. So … no. Not undergrads.
I went to my PhD advisor's house for dinner but I've never personally heard of undergrads being invited over. I teach 100+ students per class, don't think it would be feasible in my case!
I would need to be able to afford a house to do that
Hell no. This is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
On what grounds?
in the litigious united states? pick anything.
Serving food with gluten, my walls were too white, I have a cross on the wall, I don't have a cross on the wall, the bathroom wasn't accessible enough, another guest made one feel uncomfortable, I get accused of relating grades to dinner party attendance, coffee is too hot, my rainbow flag offends, my music selection is depressing, someone didn't get to choose Yoshi in mario kart.... who knows. someday, someone will find a reason to litigate or file a complaint. I'll skip that.
If you just don't like students or aren't interested in helping them, just say that. Don't make up this bullshit fantasy that you're going to get sued for any of that nonsense.
It’s called social host liability. Being risk averse is not the same as disliking students.
social host liability
Why are you assuming we're serving booze?
You must throw shit parties.
How did we go from hosting a dinner with students in order to be a role model for the life of the mind to throwing a rager?
it's not unfathomable. students and their parents would love to file lawsuits against a university. we see posts on this sub-reddit all the time about students lying or manipulating to change a grade or to be given a second chance. don't be naive
You have any examples that fit this fact pattern?
As an undergrad I socialised with a younger faculty member, but we needed to sign all the HR CoI forms.
As a postgrad, yes, it was pretty normal.
Haven’t had anyone over to mine as faculty now myself, because they’re all covid zoomers and I don’t understand half of what they say. This extends to some of the groups (not my) PhDs as well. Lockdown did a real number on the mental age of anyone not already a working adult
I used to have my small undergrad classes over for dinner at the end of the semester. That stopped during Covid and I haven’t had the energy to do it again. It was a lot of work! But I know it meant a lot to the students. I remember some of my profs doing this when I was in college and I loved it!