Our 7yo is Xbox crazy to the point of waking up early (5am) wanting to play. We've restricted content age appropriately and game time to 1 hour a day but feel this may be too much. Any parental thoughts on managing this minefield?
Personally I think an hour per day (or even a bit more) is fine as long as they're getting schoolwork done first and are also physically active. I don't think gaming is harmful as long as it isn't a distraction or their only activity.
To add - make sure they are still developing friendships outside of gaming. Gaming friends are great but they still need to continue to develop those in-person interactions
Hear hear. All my friendships were through gaming, since I was 13.
I am 32 now, and I realised I have basically no friends I would call middle of the night if Shit hits the fan and know that they would help.
It sucks. Big time.
Moving to another country didn't help of course. But still, you gotta build those friendships IRL sadly.
Games today are very different from games when we grew up my friend. They weren’t designed to be addicting. Today’s games, they hire people to make the games and content more and more addicting, from the sounds, the game passes, etc.
Also you were 13. This person is asking about their 7 year old. They are clearly addicted! Why are we saying what they’re doing is ok?
I was 13 when started playing online games.
I was on my SNES playing Donkey Kong country and Super Mario Land 2 when I was like 4, and on Tekken 3 on my PlayStation when I was 7 :)
Gaming can be a very addictive thing, and it needs to be controlled, that's for sure.
this! and as long as OP is monitoring. a supervised hour a day is just fine as long as its not causing behavioral issues. i actually play roblox with my 7 yo daughter sometimes, its kinda fun and nice bonding time. can only do so much time with dolls, kitchen, doctor, cars, and reading their same favorite books over and over again before u start to go a bit crazy💀 gaming can be good switch up
this. My husband plays Adopt Me and some of the other games and it’s a great bonding time.
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18d
I love this reply so much.
I agree when the kid is older, but that level of obsession at 5 is a little concerning.
I’m dealing with the same with my 4 year old. We got the Bluey game and a paw patrol game and she is obsessed, begging daily and crying if it’s no. This just started two weeks ago. But the other siblings game so it’s not out of nowhere.
Older siblings sometimes had a similar initial obsession. We deal with it by honestly pulling back from video games a bit - they get too much dopamine for pushing a few buttons when daily activities are still challenging in real life.
So video games are back to “weekends only” for a few weeks while we focus on bubbles, chalk, playdoh, reading, board games, park visits pretend play and the odd movie.
Usually after a few weeks I can let it looser and have an hour or so for them to game on weekdays again.
Weekly or biweekly family meeting!
At that age we frequently revised the schedule. We started with time limit daily, but some days he didn’t have time to play so he asked for extra time on another day and we adjusted. We also negotiated game free days and hours that were off limits for gaming. Chores and behavior expectations, including quality time with family, fitness, friends, etc
But involving my son in the conversation was super helpful. We ultimately made the decisions, but we tried to hear him out and make reasonable compromises where it made sense to do so
Thanks for taking the time to share. Very helpful. Family meeting coming up!
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18d
What about it makes it sound white?
lol my husband is black and 4/5 kids are biracial so not quite!
We don’t do any during the week. He only has 3 hours home in the afternoon and evening before we need to start bedtime and we were finding the transition from games to the things that needed doing was too hard and making everyone unhappy. Then on the weekends there’s usually 2-3 hours depending on what the rest of the day looks like.
I'd pull back on any habit that to me seemed like verging on addiction/compulsion. Personally if my kindergartner was regularly waking up at 5 a.m. to do something, almost anything, I'd probably revisit how we were doing it. Just like for myself, if I do something in a predictable/routine way, I become more attached to it as a habit.
For that reason, we don't have a set schedule or limits per day on TV or his retro gameboy. Even if it's just 20 minutes a day, when they expect that, the whole afternoon can revolve around when that 20 minutes is going to happen. We just keep it random and that has worked to make them mostly forget about it/not ask except, well, randomly.
We had this problem with tablet time becoming an expectation after school. It made anytime we needed to go somewhere, a huge hassle because they'd be upset they were missing their tablet time for the day.
It's interesting how different people are. When we had screentime as random, they would ask for it constantly. Now we have a routine on when it is allowed and they rarely ask for it outside that time.
Exactly. Same as alcoholism. For many, a few is no big deal, but for some one is too much.
It’s more a question of how it’s consumed and the need for it, not how much is consumed.
We have generally no screen limits in my ND household and my two children (5 and 9) love video games. There are a ton of games that involve strategy, pre-planning, turn taking or collaboration with a team, and risk/reward considerations that I feel are valuable to their learning. They choose when they get to play and are often turning it off before I think it’s been that long. We don’t hold game time hostage as a reward to give it more value than any other activity and as a result, they don’t get anxious or upset if/when I do ask them to turn it off. @thegamereducator on IG is an amazing resource for data driven information regarding this exact topic.
We don’t limit video games for our AuADHD 7 year old. He does have to earn it, with good behavior at school and getting things done that need to be done. It’s helped his visual tracking improve greatly, and it’s a bonding experience for him and my husband who is also a gamer. He’s aware of what types of games he can and cannot play, and knows that if we find any rules broken he will lose it.
I don’t understand the bad rep video games/screen time gets. Of course don’t let them sit there all day every day, but with proper monitoring and setting restrictions I think it can be a great thing for kids.
Some kids can handle screen time well and responsibly, but it seems like most can’t. It also seems like a lot of the screen time that’s happening is on social media instead of things like age appropriate video games and apps like Procreate.
It also seems to me that a lot of parents just shove tablets into their kids hands to get some peace, but then wonder how the kid got addicted. A friend of mine authorized “supervised” screen time for her 5 year old. I say “supervise” because she was not looking over her shoulder all the time and some of those games really get addictive, i mean that is their whole point. Kiddo is now 8 and she has zero social skills. Friends would go to her house and the only thing “fun” is screen time. She also dropped out of all sports because she did not have time for that. It is a slippery slope… so just be careful and make sure that your child is able and happy to spend weeks on end without games. That s the only way you can make sure there is no addiction lurking.
My son is autistic and it's one of the few things he's able to focus on during the day. He still reads almost an hour every night as well. It's something that brings him so much joy and a sense of accomplishment, why would I be strict on something he enjoys so much?
Teachers seem to be big on blaming screens for issues at school. This may be true in some cases, but they also need to acknowledge screens are simply going to be exponentially more present in the future. I hate to say it, but wars will be fought by these kids, using drones, more and more. Beyond war, hopefully, there's plenty of applications for video game experience. Especially with Minecraft and Nintendo games like Mario maker, where they're creating stuff
Brilliant, will check out the IG account. Thanks.
“We don’t hold it hostage” is my stance as well.
A 9 year old neighbor I was supervising at an evening school activity once bolted home UNsupervised because she realized it was her screen time window. She took my child with her, as in they left this event and crossed two major streets to walk the half mile home while I frantically tried to figure out how/why they disappeared so suddenly.
I will say some games are NOT strategy, they’re designed to hype you up with quick dopamine rewards. My kids were never into first person shooters but Super Smash Bros and Rocket League are two games I micromanage. Two separate children of mine who don’t even share genes would melt down so hard and get so amped up not only during game play but also sometimes after it. Twice my 7 year old THREW AWAY HER SWITCH because she was “so frustrated and didn’t even want to play anymore.” My other child would “forget” homework every day and was just…not himself. I’ve never had that problem with Minecraft. Roblox is iffy—it’s a super diverse game that can be played well, but we talk to our kids about their feelings and how lots of video games and social media are designed to grab our attention and hold it. Sometimes we need to be aware so we can let go, and sometimes we need to help each other let go.
Pay attention to how your kids game, what they play, how it makes them feel.
Excellent points
So sorry yes it’s Neurodiverse. We have a mix of Autism, ADHD, and PDA
My son is also ADHD and most likely PDA. No limits here either. I feel like video games (when not abused) can be a very calming and comforting thing and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
Yes absolutely. Of course different things work for different families but we keep a very low demand household and our kids are extremely well regulated, emotionally intelligent humans. I agree that the games can be very calming
That gives me some hope! We are pretty new to understanding PDA and how to manage it. I have to retrain myself on how to phrase things so he doesn’t get overwhelmed and meltdown. So I love hearing PDA success stories!
I am pretty new as well but after reading more about it, some of the strategies/advice is how I’ve been trying to parent anyway so I feel lucky 😅 Nothing is perfect (or even how I imagined it before being a mom) but we are doing our best. Open to chat if you’d like to swap stories or anything ☺️
nd?
Neurodiverse
And here I thought they meant their North Dakota household
I read it the same way 😂
LOL I am DYING at this comment. Whhy is North Dakota household so funny to me?!
ohhhhhh
Another neurodiverse household with no screen limits. We also home educate and I discovered very early on that she learns far faster on educational games/watching educational shows than traditional teaching methods. When I intentionally set out to teach her something she's very resistant, but it's amazing how much learning you can link to the games they play. She flat out said she didn't want to learn to read, but she wants to know what her games say and name her pets etc. I've been suggesting easy, phonetically spelled names and letting her sound them out to put the names in and she's getting really good at simple words now (she's 4.5).
As with most aspects of parenting, it needs to be tailored to the kid. If screen time is having a negative effect on their behaviour or other areas of their life then limits need to be set. Our daughter knows that if she shows she's not responsible enough to be playing those types of games (throwing the controller in frustration, being rude to whoever is playing with her etc) then we stop playing and try again at a later time. Whether later that day or a longer period of time if it's becoming a pattern.
I say this as a zero screen time parent for the first 18 months and planned to be a limited screen time parent until she was much, much older. I had to adapt to the kid I had and not an idealised best practice kid that I'd imagined before she came along.
I relate to everything you said. We also home educate and it definitely looks much different than a lot of traditional methods. We use a mix of online and workbook stuff and follow a tonnn of rabbit trails. But yes, I see the same thing- a lot of learning through videos and games and it can be extremely difficult to teach directly. Thank you for sharing your experience 😊
This depends on the day and the child. I'll let me kids hit it for a few hours, but only occasionally. They aren't allowed to game every day. But we have gotten to a point where they will take it or leave it on their own for the most part.
At first I had serious problems with them both. They would fiend out on gaming. Their personalities would change and they exhibited junky like behavior. Sweet kids turned into devils. Crying and raging. I tried monitoring. I tried limiting time and the behaviors would instantly return. Then I banned Fortnite and all my problems went away. They play similar games, but none of the crazy behavior. We don't have Minecraft either. But I have many others and some that are probably a bit out of their age range, but they can take it or leave it now.
I don't know what it is about Fortnite, but I never want it in my house again. This is only my opinion, but they way my kids reacted to it was bonkers.
Thanks. I took one look at Fortnite and decided it wasn't for us. Now I'm wondering if plants vs zombies is triggering something. Will they play some "calmer" games for a while.
They do. They like Goat Simulator, Fifa, Hogwarts. But I'll be honest, they like Call of Duty and Mortal Kombat too. Not age appropriate but they find free ones online too that are shooting games. They like some of the driving games. They also play games that look exactly the same as Fortnite to me, but they don't have the same reaction. I can't understand the difference.
Call me crazy, but this was my first thought after reading your post (and no condemnation here, just an observation):
If the child is craving it first thing in the early morning, that makes me wonder if it's an addiction more so than a fun activity he's just excited to do. One way to find out would be to spread game time to every OTHER day, or a half hour each day, and see how he responds. Make clear it's not a punishment, just a way to make time for other more productive activities. He would likely react disappointed of course, but if there's more intense negative behavior like a tantrum, etc and it's not getting better within a week, I'd say he is in withdrawal.
Just something to consider. :)
Thanks. We've got tons of outdoor time daily after school and related activities. Our weekends are wall-to-wall outings, play dates etc. will try restrict and see how we go.
Of course. It sounds like you're great parents and doing everything you can. 😊 It can be hard to know what to do! Good luck!
I almost wonder if it's his "me" time. My 7yo is an early riser, and I'll either find him gaming, watching netflix, or listening to audiobooks before school.
When he was 6 it was definitely only Minecraft.
No one else is up with him, and I think its good for him to have his quiet time alone with self-directed activities.
I don’t limit at all. My son is almost 11 has been gaming since he was about 4. It’s fun, engaging, he learned to read, he’s made great friends, I see no downsides. He also uses gaming to regulate his emotions. Gaming gets a bad rap. As long as he’s getting other responsibilities done. Would you limit Lego to an hour? Seems silly.
My daughter started playing Pokémon when she was 5. People on here were saying how it pretty much taught them to read back in the day. Fast forward a year and she’s reading at a much higher level than expected, with ease. I’m on board with it. She’s also learning about strengths, weaknesses, strategy, and navigation. It’s kinda wild what they pick up through gaming.
My son has learned so much about building and crafting and engineering from Minecraft
Completely agree!! I think people seriously have forgotten how much video games we played in the 80s/90s …. At least in my house it was A LOT. And I turned into a fairly well-adjusted, well-educated adult who just so happens to STILL love games!
You don't need to limit Lego time because kids won't play Legos for 5 hours straight lol
I think it depends on the child. My son was showing signs of addiction and it was affecting him negatively both physically and mentally. But i absolutely believe there are kids out there like your son that can handle playing video games and also getting other things done without negative side effects. It also depends on the games. There are gaming experts hired to figure out how to make video games as addictive as possible. Legos don’t really do that. And some kids are wired to have more addictive tendencies
I think the thing is gaming gets lumped into the broader conversations about digital landscapes, like social media. And it's true that a lot of online communities are centered around gaming. But I think gaming, in a vacuum, is more neutral than how toxic social media can be.
What games they are playing is far more important than how long they play. Offline 2-4 player games are social and encourage team play, interpersonal communication and interaction.
Puzzle games or other games that require problem solving, memory or concentration are also very beneficial. And there are a lot of pure educational games available.
Games that focus on low effort rewards are both addictive and damaging as they reduce attention spans. Children should not play them.
I think at the least you should have it locked out until after school. We've had issues with the kids waking up too early because they want to watch a show, or play a video game, and it makes them crazy the rest of the day because they're so tired. They now know that they aren't able to get access to their electronics until after school during the year, and until after 630 on weekends/summertime.
An hour is fine
Just worry about whether or not your guidance is promoting negative or immature behavior. I don't think gaming is inherently negative, but you definitely want to foster additional outlets for creativity and relaxation. If your kid is healthy and emotionally developed, don't worry about it.
However keep an eye on their posture and hand dexterity. Little hands and growing spines need good posture.
I will interject during long play periods and demand a screen break to ensure my kid can stay flexible minded and try new things. Gaming is so much fun, but most of life is not so they need to be prepared to handle themselves when there is no gaming available or appropriate.
My wife is really good at reading, and literally no one says reading is bad for you, but tbh I think reading should be limited too. I call that "analog screen time"
We've noticed a definite change in grumpiness/attitude after gaming which is concerning. They get tons of outdoor time and other activities away from screen and books.
Yeah thats definitely something to pay attention to. If my son gets unusually upset over having to stop playing then its time for a screen break.
7 is old enough to have a conversation about attitude and gratefulness. like, I dont want my kid to not feel grateful that he can have the luxury to play games .. so when he does it, there should be an appreciation for it. When its taken for granted and not appreciated, I take it away.
The waking up at 5am is a bad habit but not unheard of at that age. When my son had sleep issues (apnea) he was quick to wake and wanted to play games. I would tell him no video games that early, period. Eventually we got the sleep routine down and he wakes up at the same time every day so Im not concerned if he fires up netflix or a ps5 game until we are up.
My 9 year old can not game on weekdays but is allowed up to 2 hours on the weekends. He very rarely uses that much. This past weekend he didn't even game at all.
Some kid are just not build for gaming. My eldest would just "wing it" playing games, would rather spend his device time watching silly kid shows.
It's also just not something that our family has ever really valued so none of my boys are huge on games. They play from time to time and some play more than others but it never really took off as a thing in our house.
I played ALL the time as a kid and turned out just fine. No restrictions as long as homework, grades and chores are in order.
1 hour per week, she is 4YO.
I think it’s ridiculous to tell our kids ‘one hour screen time is plenty’ when we watch tv four hours a day and stare at phones the rest of the day, tbh.
I limit the kind content my kids can consume, but rarely the time.
Adults do a LOT of things that are not appropriate for children. That being said, I don't think staring at a phone all day is good for anyone, child or adult.
First part is facts😭😭 reading this thread has made me realize how much of a bad rep gaming gets. Let’s be honest here we’re all addicted to our phones or games. Just as long as they get their work done it’s literally fine.
Mine get 30 or 45 minutes per day, 5 days a week. Minutes depends on how much time we have on that particular day. We usually cut the days down to 3 or 4 once we hit summer.
We have been through this recently. We are trying to teach compartmentalising of hobbies and activities, so there’s usually console time with a trade off of chores for half hour, or proper reading for half hour, or drawing for half hour, or an hour in the garden playing, then gaming for an hour as reward, but all within reason. Hopefully this will help them have an internal ‘I’ve been on this long enough, I should do something else’ thought when they get older. Wishful thinking, I know!
I don’t know how you find it but we struggled with them coming off devices or consoles, so I try to time this ending at dinner time, with dinner landing on table and me shouting ‘switch that off, dinner’s ready’, which marks the end of their hour. It’s always after school and I have set a hard no on any consoles or devices before school as that just leads to tantrums.
I think your time limit is okay as long as you’re personally happy with it, weekends we do sometimes allow up to ninety minutes (with a break for snack and a drink), but we usually try to get out and do something family orientated first, or hit the supermarket for the weekly shop, and I’ve noticed that I’ve not had to set a hard timer on the consoles as they tend to know when they’ve been on it too long.
Good luck!
My 6yo typically gets up to an hour on weekdays and up to two hours on weekends of “electronics time” (tv, computer, switch). However, he has to earn that time in 15-minute increments by doing chores. Things like getting ready for school with no problems or emptying the dishwasher. He can also save them up for the next day if we are busy that night.
We also are a little flexible when he asks for time to game together or if he wants to watch something educational.
I’m a gamer so I have high tolerance. My 7yos can play Friday OR Saturday evening only (after 6pm) for as long as they want. They get tired around 10pm. I live in a country where we don’t go early to bed so 10pm is not outrageous in our culture.
I didn’t like how much my kids (7 and 8 years old) were asking for screens. It was constant. I also could tell that their behavior was suffering from it. I started enforcing some new rules that screen time has to be earned.
If they aren’t behaving well, no screens. If they are, they can have a half an hour for that day. If the bad behavior persists, no screens for the next day either. I have taken them away for a week at a time. My kids also are required to clean up after themselves if they wish to have screen time. They can also earn it for the day by reading a few books.
If they have earned it, the limit is 30 minutes on school days and one hour on weekends.
It was hard for the first few days of enforcing this, but now, they have practically forgotten about gaming. I really think my husband and I were using it as a crutch when we didn’t feel like dealing with our kids (not saying you’re doing this at all, just sharing my personal faults). My kids play with their legos and toys way more now and are playing outside everyday. Right now, I’m trying to come up with my summer rules for screens. I’m not sure what I’ll do yet.
Good luck with the summer rules! I think we're in the same place. Much more outdoor time and try to make time for gaming as part of a family activity. (Sounds good on paper) :)
My son (6) just started getting into video games about two months ago. He earns video game time by reading a book or a chapter of a book out loud to one of us. He earns 15 minutes per book/chapter that he reads, and then he is able to use that time when we're all at home and not busy doing other things. It's been working pretty well! I'd say he averages like 45 minutes a week.
I started getting 1 hour per day at around 5 years old and it was only because I wanted to play Webkinz, otherwise I wasn’t really interested. I still enjoy games but never really felt “addicted” to them like my older brother/some people’s kids. How addicted is your kid? Depending on that I would adjust gameplay time or the types of games he plays (maybe fun game for 30min-1hr, then educational game the rest of the time)
1-2 hours a day isn't really a worry to me. It's A. what is their attitude towards not being able to game when there are other priorities, B. what are they doing outside of this time and C. are they adequately socializing and working?
During the school week... no way. No games before school.
During the weekend, if they wanna get themselves up that early (and not bother anyone in the hypothetical process) I don't see it as an issue, unless there are activities planned.
My motto, work first. Play later.
If there are pressing things to do, then no dice. However once that is done & gone... have at it.
Would you be concerned if your child was waking up early to read a book? Video games aren’t inherently bad - they’re interactive entertainment that encourages problem solving, and many of them have an engaging story. People who play them are excited to find out what happens next. I remember waking up early at that age to play video games, and now I’m a well-adjusted adult with a successful marriage and career.
I think it's the associated behaviour post gaming that's concerning. That said it's about the same with homework!
An hour a day is just criminal. Let the kid be a kid so long he doing good in school and responsible
We've played with everything from unlimited screen time to none at all at everything in between. Our kids behavior is FAR better with less screen time. We've kind of settled on not much these days. We'll do a family movie once a week, and they probably get screens 2-3 times a week for like 30 minutes.
You are concerned about your child wanting to interact with problem solving, critical thinking, puzzles, that often involve history, pop culture, and other worthwhile things to learn about? Is it the hand-eye coordination that the child will develop that bothers you? Is it the ability to focus on a single thing for a long period of time? What exactly about the gaming is it that worries you?
As long as my kids fulfill their responsibilities like chores and practice they can do whatever age appropriate thing they want.
As long as they want bc we keep them busy in activities etc. They don’t have a lot of downtime.
We don’t limit screen time. We instead focus on what ELSE we would rather they be doing. So our kids have chores. They are expected to get a certain amount of exercise every day. They are expected to socialize with friends a certain amount every day. They have to work on something academic every day. They have to practice their instruments every day. They have to read every day. They are expected to work on something creative every day. They have to spend time with their pets everyday. They are expected to make at least one call or text to a relative or write a letter or draw a picture for them to nurture familial connections. They have to spend some time visiting with their parents every day. And when they’ve done everything we expect them to do and there’s nothing more pressing that needs their attention, THEN they’re welcome to game or watch a movie or whatever they want to do with their free time. If you feel like your child is playing too much Xbox, think about what else you’d rather he be doing and start working on checking THOSE boxes. I wouldn’t appreciate it if someone told me “you spend too much time on your hobby” when I was meeting all my other expectations. Either tell me what more you need from me, or leave me alone. I try generally not to treat my kids in a way I wouldn’t tolerate.
I’m an avid gamer, and I’m a bully dad and refuse to introduce gaming to my children. I do think making your kid earn digital time is a good solution though. Reading, practicing the arts/music, anything productive earns them digital time. Every two hours of something productive, gives them an hour of online.
Just curious why do you refuse to introduce gaming?
At that age, I don’t want my kids getting addicted. Majority of people don’t control their gaming well, and I would prefer my kids do something more productive with their life. Quite hypocritical of me since I game, but I want them to enjoy life, not the virtual world.
That makes sense. Was just curious because I know how addicting gaming can be. I’m a gamer myself and want to game with my kids when they get older but I’m hesitant as I don’t want them to fall into an addiction.
Wow! When i was growing up, i played video games for *hours* every day. Including weekdays. I'd get so into the storylines or the quests. For me, it wasn't really different from reading or watching a show - I was invested want I wanted to see what would happen next. As long as I kept my grades up (I did), and seemed healthy mentally/emotionally/physically (I was), my parents really didn't care.
I have a master's, a good job, a great husband (who loves gaming!), and a baby of my own now, whom I don't plan to restrict unless it actually interferes with her health or wellbeing.
none,
you're starting off his path of addiction and social ackwardness.
Give him some books.
I am surprised so many people think an hour a day is good, perhaps too strict. We do about 15 minutes per kid. That said, your family is yours and mine is mine, and what works for us may not for you.
I loathe video games, and even I think 15 min is ridiculous. Some days I can’t even solve my squardle puzzle in 15 minutes. What even is the point?
This sounds like tiktok of gaming! What do uour kids play? 15 min is not enough to do ANY meaningful progress. Depending on game ofc, brain dead games, sure.
I believe 2 hours a day is the recommended max. I personally do not allow devices on school nights. Monday-Thursday nothing but TV is allowed. Which they don’t really watch.
Go the route of earning online time, for every two hours doing something productive, they get an hour of online. From reading, music/arts, chores.
My kiddo gets 30min -1hr a couple times a week. Only if he’s done homework, gone to play outside, cleaned up. If he’s actively playing with toys or with his brother and randomly comes up to ask to play video games, we usually say no bc he was content playing two seconds ago. And he doesn’t argue with us about it
1 hour is fine as long as all other priorities are being met IMO. My kids get 30 min after school and another hour after sports.
Weekend is 3-4 hours after sports and chores
What game are they playing?
Mainly plants v zombies.
I mean, not the worst game to play. There is strategy, pattern recognition, fundamental thinking.
I’ve always allowed my son nearly unlimited screen time. And it’s had 2 drawbacks. Number one, Roblox is a fucking nightmare and I’d ban it if I was a single dad. YouTube and inappropriate content.
His screens turn off at a certain time (11 pm). And if he has issues getting up for school we set it to be earlier until he’s good.
My favorite game he has played has been Zelda (specifically the ones for the switch). He gets frustrated and confused by puzzles. He gets frustrated by the vocabulary and reading. He gets frustrated by the difficult of the enemy. But in the end he figures it out. And I think that’s an important life skill.
My son started playing COD on Xbox. And set his alarm at 6am To play before school. We shut that down because we know hes not a morning person.
Anyway, yeah, my son is 7 also, so that’s my take.
Thanks for your comment. We've thankfully not come across Roblox yet but thanks for the warning! We quickly worked out that YouTube isn't for us. One massive rabbit hole 🐇🐇
People warned us of Roblox. Son spent over $1k over the last 18 months (lots of gift cards). Any gift card he gets he spends within minutes. There is also a trading market of some sorts? So he might get a rare item and then sells it and then is out of the item for a limited amount of in-game currency. I’m telling you that is the biggest scam out there.
Nothing on school days, and 2~3 hours per day on weekends, but they have to do "more important" things first (homework, chores, etc). My kids play sports and have games on the weekends, so I have no problem letting them have that time to unwind. My rules relax if they are hanging out with friends, because at least they are being social.
One rule we do have is absolutely no screens before 8, and you need to do your morning routine first (eat, get dressed, brush teeth, etc). Waking up at 5 is absolutely unacceptable. If that happened to me I would say "you can have your hour between [time] and [time]" and reduce time if they ask for it before then.
My son is 8 and I base his game play on his character. If he’s still open to helping, doing his daily tasks, has a positive attitude towards me and his siblings idc what he does
I'd say 1 hour a day, so that it doesn't end up interfering with other, mote important activities. And absolutely none before school. I had parents who were worried about video games taking over my life, to the point that I only had a Game Boy until I was 14. They even limited that time to an hour a day. But as I grew older, and they got me consoles, and took away the limit, I still only played an hour or two a day, because I was used to that. I'm 35 now, and still hold myself to that limit, mostly. Instilling good media habits early on can last a lifetime.
I don’t have set limits. Video games are something that we all enjoy as a family and we play them together. One hour isn’t enough time to get anything done in an adventure type game, which is what we play. If we notice he’s getting bored, or fidgety we turn it off and do something else. He’s extremely active, healthy, loves playing outside and running, drawing, legos, etc. He also goes through phases where his favorite thing to do is play a video game and then months go by where he doesn’t play at all. It feels balanced and it doesn’t interfere or have any negative effects on his life, but mainly, it’s something that we all enjoy as a family and that makes all the difference for me.
We don't play video games on school days at all. On weekends, we play what we can. Sometimes that means we loaf around for 6 hours and melt our brains. More often it means we play for a couple hours then do other things. Sometimes we don't play at all.
Video games come second to running the home, and I expect the kids to be part of it. Not playing on school days helps keep the kids from getting amped up when they need routine and a somewhat calm environment, plus outside time, to get good rest.
That said, my kids both have ADHD, so we're a lot more rigid about it than our neighbours.
My sister will let them all day. Since they won’t be bothering her
This seems fine. I set an hour restriction for my son's account too and it seems enough.
We were allowing tablets/gaming 1 hour a day. Unfortunately that was too much for us too. My youngest would get grumpy playing after school. I cut it down to 45 minutes. 2 weeks ago we gave both kids (8f&7m) a heads up that after the weekend we would not be having tablets/gaming on school nights. They don't get off the bus until 4:20 so there isn't a ton of time. They'd get upset on days if we ran errands and they missed their tablet time (we had a 7 pm bedtime on their tablets). Their behavior is already better after a week of complaints. We'll probably adjust again as they get older to allow it back more, but for now weekday time was just too much.
We never limited game time. We made sure the boys had enough to do throughout the day that there was only so much time to game, if that makes sense.
Oh man, that just brought back memories of waking up early to play ocarina of time before school😆😆😆 we let our son play an hour a day usually? Sometimes a little More on weekends but we often play games together during that time. What games is he playing? I’d be more concerned if it was age inappropriate stuff like … first person shooters or grand theft auto etc.
None of the big hitters. All locked down to PG7 and no more.
I don't limit video games. Mine has been playing since she was abt 3 and just turned 10. I find that she self regulates.
Its tricky, I started earlier with them because in a gamer myself. I regret doing that. I have a boy (8) and a girl (6), they are allowed to play on Saturday and Sunday, 1 hour each day (which usually turns in to 1,5 hours to be honest). These are the fixed days let's say. On a free midweek day, or when the school is closed we allow them also to play for time to time.
To prevent the constant questioning "how late can I play" I inform them in the morning how late they can game. Usually in the end of the day right before dinner, this gives me time to relax and cook dinner. They find peace in knowing when they can game and will be more willing to entertain themselves till that time.
For us it kind of depends on what else we have going on. If my son has downtime where he would otherwise just be watching TV, I am generally ok with it (within reason) BUT I won’t let him start playing before 6:30AM ever, as I don’t want him losing sleep and waking up early just so he can game. He tried to wake up early a couple times to game and we quashed that idea quick. Also, we do not let him game in lieu of playing outside. Usually he will game for a bit in the mornings and evenings, but we keep him active during the day - whether with sports, swimming, riding bikes, or playing with the neighbor kids
I treat it the same as all screen time. My kid needs to earn it by reading and writing. 1 book = 1 hour, 1 letter = 1 hour. Because writing is more difficult for her.
We went to 30 mins a week screen time total with our 7byear old, on a Sunday. Mostly so I can sleep it.
Was 30 mins a day screen time and the whole was spent trying to get to those 30 mins, chose done haphazardly, half arsed homework.
Now he's so much calmer and focused. He plays outside, makes up his own shit to do with no nagging and reads!
I don’t focus too much on the amount of time spent, but more so on how it fits into our daily schedule/making sure it doesn’t disrupt sleep or routines like getting to school.
We have hard “no iPad before school” and “no ipad after dinner” rules. This helps to not disrupt morning routines and bedtime routines. I allow them to do games after they wake up on weekends for a while, but we usually have sports to get to, so it doesn’t last super long.
For us, I know my kids are super active and do well in school, so I choose not to stress over the amount of time they spend on games. Do what works for you!
We only allow video games on the weekend because it causes too many issues otherwise. They get to play for a couple hours altogether.
It really depends on the child and how your household runs. Some children do great with a set time limit, and others become absolute raging monsters when it comes time to turn the games off. We've had to scale back in our house with our 6yo so that he EARNS time playing video games with good behavior. He doesn't have the right to play them whenever he wants, and they're always referred to as "Daddy's Nintendo" etc. This has worked in our house, but you may have to tailor things to your own house. Personally I think an hour is quite reasonable; honestly, sometimes we allow 2 hours with good behavior. But never more than that really.
As an avid gamer myself, I feel that an hour is a bit short. it really just depends on what's going on. If I'm also playing with them and we're having a lot of fun, why limit that and ruin the fun family atmosphere because an arbitrary time limit expired? Within reason of course. Is it a beautiful day and friends are asking to play outside? Get off the computer and go be social with your friends. Rainy outside? Sure, play for a while, not like there is much else to do.
It's also really important to sprinkle some other stuff in there. My boys like to go on bike rides and hikes, so we do that a lot too. We also have a trampoline and a big yard, so they get plenty of play time outside. As a gamer, I understand sometimes you're just hooked and a game is deep and artistic and beautiful, so it's a special experience that sticks with you for a long time. Those are ok! My sons will always remember those great gaming battles on smash bros with dad on a Sunday morning. It's ok if they hop back on later that day after we did other stuff.
Be where your kids are and guide them. Gaming is much more than the braindead activity parents think that it is. They're learning problem solving, team work, timing, hand eye coordination, communication, reflexes, critical thinking. Watch a Siege tournament stream one time, their communication is far superior to anything you'll find in physical sports, by a large margin.
My daughter (7) likes to play MineCraft on her switch. The standard time allotted is an hour and a half a day but we waver on it depending on the day. If she had a really social few days and just needs to chill and decompress we may be more lenient and allow more time. But also will have her take breaks, go outside, she’s super great about utilizing her art and craft desk. Sometimes she plays everyday for a few days in a row for her allotted time. Some days she doesn’t touch it for days. Just sort of play it by ear with a promised set standard (unless she gets in trouble she loses her switch for a few days or whatever)
No more than 1 hour a day, and 2 hours on weekend days, is the recommended time for kids that age. I think you also have to take into consideration how it impacts your child. Many kids can handle unlimited screen time, but countless studies show that too much screen time has a negative impact on mood and overall mental health. Every child is unique so there’s no magic number. If your child is handling one hour just fine, then that’s great! If one hour is causing him to be grumpy, argumentative, lose sleep, then you might need to reconsider how long you allow him to play.
With my 9 year old son, we allow him three hours per day.
He’s restricted to gaming during certain time windows, and on a pretty regular schedule with screen time. So school days, can’t game until 4pm and only after he’s done 30 min of reading. No gaming until 5 pm on Sundays.
He also does amazing in school and is a wonderful bright intelligent boy.
We’ve also figured out ways to motivate him with gaming. For example when he was 7, we challenged him to read 5,000 pages in the summer between last day of school and new school year. He did it, because we agreed to buy him a PS5 if he did. Another example - he asked for a gaming PC. We agreed to help him finance it, but he had to pay half through chores. We bought each component, one at a time, and it took 2 years to get it y’all. Then we built the PC together with him and he installed the OS and everything.
When approached collaboratively and supportively, he’s been incredibly receptive. It’s also led to lots of good conversation and learning about the risks and concerns
1 hr 45 minutes on Friday, Saturday, Sunday. We are discussing adding midweek gaming. If homework is caught up, chores are done and throw in a little extra to help the family.
Maybe it’ll be something like for every 30 minutes of extra reading you can have 30 minutes of extra gaming.
When they run out of gaming time on the switch, they can have more, but I’ll say why don’t you take a break first, could you empty the dishwasher? Just kind of get them to disengage for a bit.
How is that a minefield?
my 9 year old plays two hours max during the week and during the weekend it is more flexible.
As long as my son isn’t falling behind and gets off when I say it’s time I don’t monitor it I hard. Usually after an hour and half we move on
We have no screens after 7pm and games only on weekends. But we also keep him busy with activities so he forgets about the console most of the time unless he has a new game.
We're probably a bit more on the restrictive side, but we only allow gaming on weekends (Friday - Sunday) and probably 30 minutes to an hour per day and they have to do chores/homework first. Those rules apply to me and my husband, too, so the kids don't feel resentful about it because it's a whole household rule. The Switch also belongs to me, so it's easier to make and enforce rules when it's "mama's game" that I allow them to use.
Other screen time in our house - I let them watch cartoons for probably 45mins to an hour two nights a week while I'm making dinner (the days they don't have extended day), we have movie night once a week, and they usually watch cartoons for a little bit in the mornings on weekends.
Part of the reason we have these rules so buttoned up is just our crazy schedules - we really don't have time for video games on the weeknights, and if there is extra time we'd rather spend it doing something else. By taking games out of the picture on weeknights, they basically have to choose another activity - playing in the backyard, a board game, crafts etc. Regardless of the time allowed, I think the best way to manage it is just to be consistent! If 1 hour a day feels like to much, why is that? Is it taking time away from other things like playing outside, playing games together, getting homework done etc? I think "too much" is totally relative depending on your family situation and schedule!
1 hour a day, if they are lucky. 15 minutes if they accept that it’s only 15 minutes. Most of the time they don’t play. I just tell them that if they play all the time every day it won’t be as fun. [+]
My kids are 3, 5, and 10. They would game/watch TV all day if I let them. Most days they get zero screen time but I'd say overall in a week they get about 5 hours total.
I'd say an hour a day is great! I think research shows less than 2 hours is ideal, but that's 2 hours of pure dopamine which isn't good for their little brains, especially if they have ADHD.
30-60 minutes a day on weekends and breaks. Can earn more on those days. No gaming on school nights.
My kid is almost 6. We do a max of one hour per day (iPad) and we control what apps are allowed. No social components whatsoever.
30-45minutes
We have an hour of earned screen time a day. But they have to unlock it with different tasks. Usually piano practice, or school related work.
7 years old? Id say 0 minutes a day
Our almost 7 year old was also waking up early to play roblox and at one point basically spending every waking minute after school and on weekends playing. We restricted it to weekends and although we don’t have a set time limit, we usually get out of the house for at least 6 hours a day. He’s also only allowed to play if he gets a good grade on his spelling tests on fridays. Of course once we implemented this rule he’s been getting 100% on every test.
Could set up some kind of reward system. If he did chores or whatever he can earn money to use how he wants on the allowed items or activities.
i’m not a parent but limiting your kids to gaming or any screen time is the best thing you could do for them. my parents always limit me to any screen but as i grew they didn’t care much but still tried to tell me not to be on the screen to much cause it could ruin your eyes and i just let their words just be that. and when i turned 16 i needed glasses i started to have sight issues so my Mama had to prescribe me the glasses and i hate wearing glasses now but i can’t see anything without them and it sucks. i have to live with that now. so no don’t make it more then what it is he could start having sight issues earlier then me.
When they were kids they were only allowed to play video games Friday - Sunday or if they had off of school. Max was an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon.
They’re older now, I don’t even care if they do or don’t. They have their own lives they need to take care of.
Honestly, 2 hours a week is what we do, and still they’re asking me about it during the week. It means it crazy addicting.
There’s a mother who’s child dropped out of college because their kid only play video games once there was no more parental supervision, and they lets the kid play every day for only an hour growing up.
If you can do without, then do without until they are teenagers, then i would restrict to just the weekends, one hour each day, including summer time. I don’t know where parents are getting the advice their giving you, but most likely they haven’t seen the rotten fruit of video game addiction, especially the games that kids play today that are designed to be addictive.
My kids (6, 7) are only allowed to play on the weekend. However, they are allowed to play for three hours on both days.You can't play a lot in one hour, personally I wouldn't even turn on the game for one hour. I consider it absurd to compare the present time and times from 20-30 years ago. Today's times are different, technologies are more advanced, children cannot avoid screens. It is better to teach a child to handle these technologies wisely than to cut them off completely.
Friday they get 1 hour Saturday 3 hours Sunday 2 hours that’s it! When school is out it will be more on days we don’t have plans tho (14 male 10 male 8 female 6 male)
Total 1 hour. After reading and recording any book for 10 minutes .
No Roblox until the age of 12 due to sexual stuff on it 20 minutes per. Game or 60÷games= time per game
Unlimited on educational stuff and cell phone
The short answer is "it depends".
The long answer is that I'll let them play for a few hours at a time. My kids love outdoor activity so they get plenty of physical activity, they play with their friends next door. Always after homework and chores are done. They definitely lose gaming time if they misbehave, but I try to let them have fun and be kids while they're still kids.
If my 7 year old started waking up at 5 to play video games I would remove all video games from the house. My kid doesn’t even get up at 5 for Santa. Now if my kid started waking up 30 minutes earlier for video games I would ban them before school and limit to an hour a day.
My son copes with anxiety and depression through games (Splatoon, Animal Crossing, Mario and other similar things) so I've never wanted to stop him from playing. I try not to let him play at night, but hell knows I can't stop him.
We have to restrict our 12yo to only gaming on the weekends depending on how his grades are that week. As long as he’s showing up at school and taking care of his things at home (taking out trash, caring for our dogs, putting away his laundry, etc) and he also plays baseball, we don’t put a time limit on it. But he still needs to come out and eat meals at the table (we give him a pass for snacks in his room) and he still goes to family events if they are going on. I refuse to let it consume him.
I'm also worried about facing this issue. Nowadays, electronic devices are very attractive to children. I still insist on setting a fixed time, and then choosing other similarly stimulating activities as alternatives, such as cycling, traveling, and so on. Maybe the kid just need attention.
What messaging apps do you give to your kids at this ages?
None
My sons are 10 & 14. They aren’t allowed to game at all during the week while school is in session. It’s too distracting and the week is already filled up with practices/training sessions and tutoring schedules.
They look forward to their Friday nights and we make them do their chores on Saturday morning. They’re then free to do as they wish as long as we don’t have any other plans but I try to keep them active outside the home. I offer to pick up friends and be their personal driver. But sometimes they just want to connect with their friends via the online gaming which is cool too. Just as anything in life, it’s all about balance.
Our rule is no video games during the week (11F & 13M) but we are lenient on weekends from Friday after school to Sunday before dinner. That being said the 11F plays lots of sports and 13M is forced to spend time outside on bike or trampoline to break up video game play. To be honest our kids do get upset since there friends play video games all the time but everyone of their friends parents state they wish they enforced restrictions and just never did.
You're fine, one hour a day is even a little too strict imo.
Xbox though? What does he play? I'm not familiar with many (if any) kid friendly games on xbox.
There are plenty of kid friendly titles on Xbox.
Mainly plants v zombies.
Oh yeah! those are great!
Try to hold off on Roblox for as long as possible.
[monkey_puppet_glancing_sideways_meme.jpg] Yeah 1 hour is good
I bet if it was 150 yrs ago u would make the same comment about books
As a parent of a kid who likes to game, I have parental controls and time limits on everything for my son, and I monitor him while he plays. The recommendation I've seen & heard everywhere is an hour & a half per day. But... there are certain games where that isn't even enough time to finish one match, and there are other circumstances that might eat up some time like waiting for a specific friend to get online or looking for a party to join or making a post & waiting for a response... or losing & having to start over, so I give him an extra half-hour. His daily limit is 2 hours on weekdays.
I add an extra hour on the weekend, so he gets 3 hours per day on the weekend. He's homeschooled, though. Lessons & work take anywhere from 2 hours minimum to 4 hours max... comparied to the 6 hours at school, plus homework, for most kids. Even after schoolwork & gaming, he has plenty of time for other things. He plays outside, he reads, and he does other activities around the house. I think limits are healthy, but 1 hour seems a bit extreme, IMO. Only you know what works for your family, though.
As a gamer myself, one hour is way too little, even for an adult. If you don't want to let them be playing all day, you can split up periods of time during the day, being a little less strict with it (two periods of 1 or 1.5 hours would be ideal)
I used to spend whole day playing nintendo when i was 7-8. N these days im not addicted to the games. I enjoyed those times when i gotta to play with my bro and peers. I think online rpg games are horrible, they make ppl get addicted and make purchases. Just dont expose to them that. Console games on the other hand can actually help in coordination. Drs who do laparoscopy always say playing console games help them to pick up laparoscopy skills faster
Sonetimes you gotta let them play so that they dont compensate it by playing alot when they grow up. Yet, its a gamble.
However long he wants because it's a miracle if he plays a game for 15min per week.
Would much rather be running around, bouncing off the walls, eating, drawing, or making crafts out of cardboard boxes and hot glue. It can be exhausting keeping up with him and switching activities frequently, so I love it during the rare times where he chills out to play a video game.
Its very difficult to control this, kids like games
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