My daughter is 9 and has taken to lying, about anything and everything. Big stuff. Little stuff. It doesn’t matter. She’ll lie about it and deny it even when caught red handed. Lately she’s been lying about being sick and staying home from school.
This is incredibly difficult for me to mitigate because as a child I was ill, a lot. There seemed to be no reason or cause and everyone told my mom I was faking it or it was a mental health issue. It wasn’t. Many years later I finally got diagnosed with fibromyalgia (which in turn did cause depression because I was in pain all the time and couldn’t do the things my friends did). No one believed me except my mom. Not one soul. So when my kid says she’s sick, even though I don’t believe her I have a hard time telling her I don’t believe her.
This leads us to today. I have been very sick the last two days with a head and chest cold. This morning my daughter said she was sick. She had a big test today and I genuinely didn’t believe her. But she was congested and coughing so I let her stay home. She has her soccer finals tonight and I told her if she missed school she had to miss her game. At 10:00 I gave her another chance and told her I’d take her to school right now and she could play in her soccer game tonight. Nope I’m sick. Okay fine. Well with an hour and a half left of school I guess she realized I was serious and she’s not playing soccer. She admitted she was lying and wanted to go to school so she could play soccer. I told her it was too late. She made a choice and these are the consequences of her actions. Obviously she’s livid, screaming and telling me she hates me because I don’t love her. She came in my room and took back some gifts she had made me. She tried to guilt me and said she didn’t lie to get out of the test it was to spend time with me because I don’t love her enough anymore. She has put on her soccer uniform and insisted she’s walking to the field if I won’t take her. I’m standing firm. She’s not going to soccer.
However I feel AWFUL about it. She is the only person who has played goalie all season. There is no one else. So someone who hasn’t had practice at it all season is going to have to play goalie. Her team is going to suffer and I hate that. But this lying has to stop. It has to. I’m not going to continue this with her anymore.
Also yes, she is in therapy. Her therapist can not see her until Friday, which is her regularly scheduled appointment. There aren’t a lot of people here who see children and take our insurance so I don’t have any other option.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here. I’m failing this kid. I’m trying my hardest. This isn’t our only issue, she has a lot of them. Hence the therapy. I’m doing what the therapist has suggested. I’m reading a book she gave me and trying to implement the things I’m learning. But it feels too little too late.