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Are you obligated to feed parents at your child’s birthday party?
EtiquetteAs the host, I would feel weird having nothing for the parents, but it doesn’t need to be anything fancy, and they don’t need cupcakes.
I’d put out some chips and salsa, crackers, whatever for people to munch on. Maybe some sodas and seltzers.
No one is expecting to be catered to, but it’s courteous to have a little something for those who may be famished.
Last time I went to a party at a public park they just had some veggie platters, cheese and crackers, chips and salsa and pre mixed margaritas for the grown ups. It was perfect and even some of the kids got into the raw veggies and who isn’t happy when they eat that.
I always wondered about alcohol at kids parties. Seems taboo but definitely more fun 🤪
Honestly, all the backyard birthday parties that we went to last year (kindergarten) all served some sort of alcohol. This one mom made this delightful lime, strawberry, and mint punch with rum similar to a mojito. Oh lordy, it was delicious
This is my preferred method for kids parties. Have a premade cocktail already made for parents in a container they can pour themselves. It’s usually a sweet cocktail so most people will on have 1 or 2 max and no one is getting drunk. Cheaper than buying cases of beer or alcohol. Basically a more refined adult version of Jungle Juice.
Pretty much,
No one ever gets drunk. I think the max I have seen anyone drink is like 3 over the course of a 4 hrs party, and they are small cups, so it adds up to like a drink and a half lol. We usually have that and beer, and still, most people only have 1 or 2 as they are still driving their kid home after the party
I'm Mexican so a kid party is actually a family party and there is usually alcohol.
It would be super rude and weird to just feed the kids and not the parents or adults but I assume OP is of a different culture where maybe that isn't seen as rude because if they were Mexican I don't think they would be asking this.
I would at least have some snacks out, like chips or veggies or cheese, otherwise maybe turn it into a bring your own dish type thing (although they already are buying your kid a present)if the budget really can't accommodate them.
I am not Mexican but I agree this is super rude and weird! I would be offended if I went to a birthday party for my child, and as a toddler a parent must attend, and not even a little snack to munch on. I would NEVER host any sort of event without some snacks!
Yes, I wouldn't either. It just seems so rude, mean and unwelcoming.
I understand the budget can be tight and not everyone has family and friends that can help out but I would expect at least snacks for everyone. A box or two of crackers and cheese at least.
I feel for OP because of their budget but of course you have to at least give the parents something to munch on.
They are taking time out of their day, they are buying a present and they are the parents of OP's daughter friends, wouldn't they at least want to provide them with something?
It's the nice thing to do.
I’m Mexican too and was about to comment the same thing. Alcohol is at every party (even baby showers) and I am always cooking too much food because I feed everyone who shows up.
Yes, it's expected that the parents and siblings are invited too and not just one child. It's a family event and it's for children, adults and the elders to get together and have a good time.
I always end up sending lots of food home with everyone. I do feel bad for OP because they want to stay in budget but if you have people over you just have to feed them something. At least snacks.
At least that's how I feel and how I was raised. Everyone and their family is welcome and will be fed.
I’m from South Louisiana, and we’re the same.
Yup! I’m Mexican and a kid’s party usually means a whole buffet of food and desserts/snacks for everyone. There is almost always a bouncy house for kids and alcoholic drinks for the adults.
I would definitely think it’s rude if there weren’t snacks for a party I was taking my kid too.
I’m Italian and I second this!
Must be a white person asking the question because POCs typically have food and alcohol for the grown ups
I am white and i grew up under the impression that when hosting ANYTHING you provide food/drinks for EVERYONE attending plus extra "just in case" lol. My whole family is white. (Not offended btw just saying lol)
I dunno, I'm technically Southern (born up north) and glow in the dark white bish, and I can't imagine not having food and drinks -sodas/waters are a bare minimum, but usually some flavor of beers or wine coolers- for the adults as well. I was basically raised feral and even my folks knew that was just what you did.
We always have beer available for parents at our daughter’s parties - mostly because by the time I’m done planning and setting up and stressing, I really need a drink!
I feel this in my soul. We actually have a really cool kid friendly backyard (huge, fenced, plenty of shade, big playscape, enclosed trampoline, fire pit for roasting marshmallows.... Special needs kiddo is hard to take to playgrounds so we turned our yard into our happy place) and do most of the littles parties at our house. Usually evening so we'll grill hotdogs, have cupcakes, probably beers or maybe some wine coolers for the parents etc.
Maybe it's weird, maybe it's not (I think it also carrots depending on where people live/are from) but it works for us.
Also, 1009% that, "I planned the things, did all the errands, organized all the shit and got people physically here.... At this point I have provided all the elements so if they have fun or not is on them Imma relax!"
We did a taco TwosDay party for my daughter’s second birthday. Taco bar. Margarita station.
Alcohol is a prerequisite at the parties we host. I make these cocktail pouches that are kinda like caprisun. So no glass are lubricates conversations.
All of my birthdays had kid punch and adult punch. We got fancy glasses, too.
Probably depends on the culture. I'm a New Zealander and there's often alcohol at kids parties. Particularly if it's held at home.
One of the parties my 4 year old attended last few months had alcohol. It was a Sunday night. Bliss lol
(I have never served alcohol at parties - and always feed parents)
Yeah it wasn’t a priority but it was nice for the parents that need it.
I have never hosted a party since I had kids without alcohol for parents! Usually just wine and beer.
I own a brewery, so people kind of expect beer ha.
I always have alcohol available for people, nobody is getting drunk but it feels weird to me to host something at my house and not offer alcohol.
I always thought the parties we had to go to that didn't have alcohol were the weird ones, not the other way around
This!
I would never expect a full meal at a kids birthday party; but I would definitely look at the host sideways if they didn’t have some things to munch on for the parents. Even some little chips and snacks - but it would definitely be odd to give the kids a bunch of treats while the parents are left to indulge in a shared bottle of Sprite.
I agree! Beverages are mandatory imo
A flat of Costco seltzer seems to be the norm where I am.
Yeah veggies and dip, cheese and crackers, it doesn't have to be anything fancy.
This, I usually grab a veggie tray and salsa and chips for the adults. Some sodas and water, and we always get a coffee box(like a take 10)
Nothing crazy, and all stuff that is no big deal if I have to take it home lol
Sorry OP but if it’s a birthday party for kids under school aged parents will need to attend and if they’re taking time out of their weekend to buy a gift and show up to celebrate your little one then it would be pretty rude to have nothing for the adults. Cut up some veggies and serve with hummus, put out some chips and salsa and have some soft drinks available and you’ve done your duty!
I don’t think OP was expecting no parents to come, it just sounds like she wasn’t expecting both parents of the invited child, as well as other siblings who weren’t invited.
I threw my little’s second birthday recently and had more people come than invited, but I don’t believe any of them expected much, except something to nibble on, and soda!
I will also add, that if you are inviting the whole class and the parents of the classmates are not necessarily in your social circle, I would expect them to bring their spouse as a buffer to awkward moments. I don’t think that’s actually typical party etiquette, but I’ve noticed in regards to toddler parties a lot of the norms I’m used to have kind of changed lol
The OP says quote “are you obligated to feed the parents”
If you read down further, I explained that it’s not parents (I would provide extra snacks for one parent), but I wasn’t expecting both parents plus siblings. Suddenly my budget got blown out of the water.
Probably being nitpicky here, but would it really make a difference if a few extra parents did actually show up? It kinda sounds like you're rationing snacks to meet the exact number of parents you think might show up, and if more did end up coming you would run out of food.
Maybe buy a bag of pretzels, chips/salsa, some cheese and crackers? An extra $10 or so can go a long way and would at least provide snacks for quite a few people I would think.
At the very least, extra beverages and chips and salsa. Don't go crazy. Do what you can.
Both parents is weird and extra siblings is rude unless previously arranged.
I agree I’m amazed at how many people are saying this is okay!
It’s not really ok, but it’s less ok to uninvite people imo. I think this is a lesson to be more specific about expectations in the future to not leave room for misunderstanding.
Both parents is very much the norm at my kid's preschool for parties. But, it's also generally spelled out on the invitation that they're welcome, as are siblings.
Unfortunately you should bite the bullet on this one and in the future say something like “due to space limitations we ask that only one grownup accompany the invited guest.” A couple of extra pizzas won’t break the bank.
Oh hell. Thats rude AF of your guests. I would never dream of taking all my kids and my spouse to a party where only one kid (and an accompanying adult if of the age) is invited.
Every under 5 party I’ve been to has had both parents attend and usually sibs too. I think it’s the norm (at least where I live) if you’re hosting at a house or park. Honestly I’ve always thought toddler parties before the age of 3 were more for the parents.
Play gyms type places that have space limitations are a different story though…
Yes, this is what I meant.
Yes. Provide it. Not only that, but it should literally be these parent’s goal to have a mini adult party on the side.
Here’s why from experience: Depending on the age of this kid, and they seem early elementary “toddler”, there is a good chance that some of these kids are going to be friends with your kid for quite a few years. You need to know and like the parents hopefully. They also need to know and like you. This is almost more about entertaining “your future parent friends” than about entertaining these kids.
Also: Have alcohol available 👍
We now have an 11 and 13-year-old. Those parents from those original parties, we have gone camping with, gone to the beach many many times, driven each other’s kids all over the city to various practices, uncountable birthday parties, pool days, New Year’s Eve, Christmas, Fourth of July parties at each other’s homes and generally just had a good time raising our kids together.
Edit again: FYI, when schools say if you’re inviting kids from class then you have to invite everyone. What they actually mean is “hand your invitations out somewhere else other than school”. Not, invite the entire class. 👍👍
I agree with all this 💯, it’s not a toddler party it’s a family event, getting to know the whole family will make your ongoing relationships with your child’s friends’ families that much easier down the line.
I had a toddler and this rule didn’t apply when I was a kid but I’m so happy to read you say this because it’s like,.. ya duh how would they police me inviting only 3 people instead of 30…. But you also don’t want kids to feel sad to not attend. I guess what I really mean is I thought it was obvious to not give invites at school.
Our venue is outdoors and does not allow alcohol.
That’s really fine, I’ve never been to a kids birthday party that served booze. Nor have I ever had drinking at any of my 4 kid’s birthday parties. To me that is weird and unneeded.
I never thought about it… but that makes sense why we have more close family friends from preschool years than elementary!
It’s worth the investment OP
Yeah OP said it was between meals so a good bet is to buy food that you and your family will also eat if nobody does so it just goes back in the pantry after. You don’t want to not have enough food, but if between meals a lot of time the people and kids have just eaten so get snacks that won’t immediately go bad and you won’t mind eating later.
Great answer!
I agree. I feed everyone. Hell, my last daughter's birthday, her best friend bumped into her cousins. It was a big play scape for kids. It was a complete surprise. We had plenty of pizza and cupcakes and insisted they join. The mom was so kind and got all the kids slushies drinks to say thank you, which was appreciated, but not necessary. I tend to have extra food and the more the merrier!
Yes! Unless, of course, she'd like to make it a drop off party? 😂😂
Yea agree. Just provide grazing type food if it’s not a lunchtime or dinner party.
Just buy a bunch of walmart chips and put them out in bowls. Tell the parents they can eat it too.
Could even just do cheap hotdogs,make up a bunch in a skillet and set them out with buns, mustard, and ketchup. Easy cheap food for anybody that feels hungry. That include kids. Most kids will scarf down a hotdog
That’s legit all I do for birthdays. Hot dogs and chips and soda.
Yes, when parents are expected to come and stay, I say you need to feed them. If it’s a drop off party and they choose to stay, then it’s not necessary.
This is the correct etiquette. That said, it also depends on the time of day. If it’s at a time that is considered on or near a typical meal hour, food should be provided for all attending. If it is in between a traditional meal period, then only snacks need to be provided in addition to the dessert. Whatever is being provided, it should be included on the invitation so that guests can plan accordingly.
“Please join us for lunch and cake” versus “Please join us for snacks and cake”.
Yes I did indicate on the invitation it was snacks and cupcakes.
Then you are good to go. Just throw out some extra snacks for the adults and maybe some bottled waters and you have provided what you’ve promised.
I would plan on providing cupcakes for every person, and some snacks and water. If you were planning on goodie bags then skip it if you still can, so you can save that expense.
I agree with this. I’ll also add if you plan on having adult beverages then it’s a must to have something to snack on. If not don’t go overboard. I myself have over purchased for parties. People almost always do not eat as much as you think.
But if they also decide to bring an additional 3-5+ people along instead of one parent? So your little party of 25 becomes 50 pretty fast.
Yes, this was exactly what I meant.
I understand ha ha!
I would have drinks for them, just a selection of pop and maybe sparkling water? And the a veg tray and 2 kinds of chips & dip. And if there are that many people coming, maybe just get the fancier cupcakes for the invited kids and a small Costco sheet cake for everyone else, including the siblings.
I can’t imagine inviting people and not feeding them. At that age, it’s expected for a parent to stay, so yeah you should feed them.
You could get a sheet cake at Costco that feeds 50 for $25, just fyi.
And $10 pizzas that you can double slice, which would feed at least 10 people per box.
Those pizzas are feeding between 2 and 10 people depending on who’s there. I’d say you could use 4-5 and as average for a large group. If you have a party with 10 people and only 1 Costco pizza that’s not enough IMO.
If you expect the parents to stay then yes you need to provide food for the parents.
Sandwich tray or extra pizza and snacks
I think it would be incredibly rude to not have anything to offer parents at the party. You said toddlers so, I assume the kids are too young to be dropped off so, the parents have no choice but to attend. If you did not want siblings to attend, you could have easily informed those that said they would bring siblings that siblings were not invited or even put that on the invitation.
Yes-because parents are probably coming and staying. I would definitely have snacks and drinks for them out and plan extra for any other kids.
If the invitations require the parents to stay, then absolutely yes. They are considered invited guests too. I could not imagine forcing parents to stay at my party then treating them like second class. I’d be embarrassed.
I’ve been to a party recently (bf’s cousin’s kid’s party) where the whole family was invited (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents) where the mom yelled over the room “pizza is for the kids only! No adults!!”
It was the most embarrassing and tackiest thing I’ve ever witnessed. You invited your grandparents and aunts and uncles and a bunch of adults but then you make it a point to say they can’t eat? That’s so wild to me. How she felt 0 shame is completely beyond me because I would die of embarrassment.
Yeah dude, feed the parents! We ordered fixings for pulled pork sandwiches from a local spot at our daughter’s bday. It was super easy.
Yes, if you are expecting parents to stay they need something to nibble on. Veggie tray, chips, etc. You can do it on a budget. Does not need to be fancy.
I’m a southerner, if I’m hosting I’m feeding everyone
Yes I’m Hispanic and from the south so when we have parties there tends to be lots of food and even some beer haha!
Sometimes parents will ask if they can bring siblings because they have no sitter otherwise they have to RSVP No. The minimal chips and dips for adults should suffice. A lot of times, parents love to come to socialize and get to know who their kid will be spending time with. I’ve met soo many good friends this way knowing the parents that my kids eventually hung out in middle and high school. Peace of mind. The local park is the best if you’re worried of the mess. Indoor parks are great, too and most times they only serve food for the kids unless you want to splurge. Have a separate table for toddler’s food. Until they’re about 4th grade, you can include in invitation that it’s a drop off situation but until then, you really don’t want the responsibility of babysitting 10 or more kids.
I’d feed the parents but that’s because I have a love of cooking.
Next time on your invite make it clear it’s snacks and cake being served. This way people don’t expect food.
I’d probably serve carnitas and pulled chickens thighs for tacos. Both meats are cheap and pretty hands off. The rest of the toppings you don’t even need to prepare!
Or if you’re looking for something more unique you could make a top your own Mac buffet. Make Mac and cheese and a whole array of toppings like bacon, chicken, peppers, broccoli.
Show a friend your invite and see if they’re getting the impression food will be served.
Yes, I did put snacks and cupcakes will be served on the invite so they wouldn’t assume additional meals were being served (especially as it was between meal times).
I think you’re in the clear tbh. Any adults asking for food should just graze on snacks.
Well there’s your answer you put snacks and cupcakes on the invites. The adults do not need cupcakes and buy cheap snacks like others have mentioned. Chips and salsa, popcorn, veggies and hummus or whatever else is budget friendly for everyone parents included. Don’t go over board.
If you are not serving a meal to the toddlers than just do snacks. Having toddler and adult friendly choices.
Yes! I always live by the rule that if you invite people to an event, it’s good manners to provide food and drinks.
As others have said, you don’t need to put on a full catering menu. Just put out some sodas, chips and a veggie plate so people have something to graze on.
Are you obligated? No, is it going to make things easier if you buy a pile or cheap pizza and basic cupcakes definitely. It sounds like you're going to have a large group and food just makes things easier, especially when people only somewhat know each other.
Also I'm sorry that so many people are planning on bringing siblings, that's a bit out of the ordinary. It's however not uncommon for both parents to come with a toddler, they can be a handful and it gives couples the opportunity to socialize and setup potential playdates.
Yes. It’s a party. Food is expected. Get like 5 pizzas and you’ll be good. Don’t be cheap about having enough food for everyone. It doesn’t even have to be good food.
Absolutely. I took my preschooler to a birthday party recently and they didn’t feed the parents and honestly I was so annoyed. We were there from 12-330. I spent $30 on a gift but they couldn’t plan on a slice or two of pizza for the parents? I thought it was extremely rude.
If the kids are young enough that the parents need to stay with them, then usually you have something simple for the parents to eat and drink
Yes? I feel like this is a weird question. I would never invite somebody to an event I’m hosting and not intend to feed them.
It’s insane for a daycare/preschool to have a rule about who can be invited. Toddlers don’t know they weren’t invited to a party. As far as food and drink go, yes of course you need something for the adults. Nothing fancy, but at the very least some water and snacks. And it’s great that you and your partner can trade off who goes to a birthday party, but not everyone is so lucky. If you invite a child that young, I think you kind of have to expect a parent and siblings. At that age, I would only invite families I’m close with so I know exactly who’s coming. Again, that crazy rule is making this harder than it has to be.
Yeah I’m not having total strangers in my house cause the kid goes to the same daycare. Just don’t bring the invites into daycare.
It's a rule that helps prevent public exclusion to other kids and only applies to invites that are given out or done at the school usually.
As most people have mentioned in other comments, just invite them individually outside of the school if you want it to be only those you know.
I mean, yeah. Nothing too fancy, but they’re kinda the ones who are suffering lol. Kids’ parties are great, sure, but as the host, I think there is some responsibility to make sure there’s something there for the adults. Both a place to gather and a few light snacks/drinks. Not much. But somewhere where can chat with each other and stay out of the chaos while watching the kids.
Yes. If you only wanted the invited child to attend with one adult you should have specifically stated that in your invite. Not feeding the parents is rude, imo and a major cultural faux pas with my people.
I dunno. It depends on how long the party is (I always specify and end time for parties due to being burnt a few times).
If it’s just 90 minutes or two hours I think parents can pick at chips and salsas. If it’s a whole day or three plus hours? Yeah you probably gotta feed them.
Yes you have to feed the lot unfortunately
Keep it simple. Do a cheese party pizza (or two) where I am they’re just under $25 a pop. And then a lot of hot dogs. Hot dogs are relatively cheap, super filling because of the doughy bread.
And then whatever unbranded chip they sell at your local grocery store - they’re normally under $2 and honestly pretty good.
Another option - egg salad sandwiches or tuna
We had 22 in our preschool class and nearly every single child and parent came. I had to plan on a lot more snacks and figuring in siblings too it was around 40 guests.
If someone is coming to an event I host, whether it's at home or somewhere else, I have enough food for everyone. Find a cheap solution that is enough for everyone, chips, pinwheels, veggie tray, just something to keep them occupied during a children's party.
Dude, if you want a cheap party, don't invite more guests than you are willing to host.
You made your bed. Lie in it and feed those parents. Doesn't have to be fancy.
This sub gets so many post about American toddler party culture. You lot need to communicate better (and also snuff out this idea that not being friends with all classmates is somehow a bad/mean thing).
For a toddler party I would say you do need to plan to feed the parents since they don’t have the option to drop off. For future, what worked for us was keeping parties before age 5 to just our friends’ families and family (still plenty of kids), and then we switched to only school friends by 6 to avoid early what you’re experiencing. The year we did both (age 5) was just so much.
ETA: in future years(before drop off parties) I would add a note on the bottom that due to space constraints the only one parent and the invitee are able to be accommodated.
I would say probably yes. I would keep it easy though. My daughter went to a 3rd bday party recently and they just ordered dominos pizza for everyone and put out chips, cupcakes and cookies which i thought was more than fine! You can probs get quite a few dominos pizzas for less than $100.
The party I had for my 4yo in Jan was invitations to all classmates per school rules. I added my family and friends. Any child who had siblings could bring them. One or both parents were invited.
In total, 54 people showed. 14 pizzas, veggie tray, chips, waters, apple juice boxes and cupcakes kept everyone satisfied and didn't break the bank. I will say though, the party was at a local park. If the party was at a venue, I might have done things differently?
Yes. Doesn’t have to be much. But yes there should be refreshments and snacks for everyone.
Yes, throw out some baby carrots and dip, chips and salsa, a bag of popcorn in a bowl, etc. You don't have to go nuts, but have some stuff. Also a case of lacroix or whatever.
This might be an unpopular opinion… I have a two year old son and absolutely hate when he gets invited to daycare bday parties. The kids all play independently and the parents just stand around. It’s so awkward. The kid won’t remember anything and the last thing he needs is more toys. Save yourself the trouble and do family only and when they reach school age, then spend the money.
Agreed. We didn’t invite class friends till my kid made friends on his own in preschool.
These are unfortunately things you have to consider beforehand. Never invite more than you want to feed and assume both parents will come.
2 years ago we invited friends and the whole class + parents so we didn’t do food other than donuts (buy a dozen, get one free sale at Krispy Kreme that weekend so I did it and then sent my mom to do it so we got 4 dozen for a HELL of a lot cheaper than cupcakes) then a case of bottled water and juice boxes. We held it at a gymnastics place.
This past year we had it at our house and served food so we did friends and family only other than a few close friends from school (we just didn’t send the invites to school and contacted the parents).
This should be common sense…if you’re hosting a party you need to have food for everyone attending.
But if you keep it really simple than a huge sheet cake and ice cream and simple drinks and pizza usually do it. For everybody.
Feed the parents. Idk anyone who will drop their toddler off and not stay. Unless it's family or a close friend. I'd at least have snacks for them.
You need to put out something, at least some snacks and pop or something like that. You don't need to make a huge meal, just some munchables
The schools policy about who you invite to your home is pretty ridiculous though
I’ve been to parties where the only food there was pizza slices for the kids and cupcakes/cake for everyone and that was fine but I definitely would have appreciated some chips or veggies to nibble on. Doesn’t have to be fancy but it’s nice to have snacks for everyone.
Good rule is if your event is over a meal time, provide meal food.
If not during a meal time then provide snacks, or light apps.
Of course!
You do need to feed the parents, too. That’s why I pick times of day when it’s acceptable to just serve snacks.
We just buy pizza and make hot dogs. Chips and dip plus soda and Capri suns. It’s also easy to make nachos. Buy the big can and put it in the cockpot 2 hours before the party and get a bag of round tortilla chips. You can also get those jugs of tea by Arizona to serve with ice for the parents. Keep It Simple and easy the day will go by FAST!
My favorite toddler parties were those that served coffee and cake and some kid snacks. 3-5 PM.
I say this as a Pinterest-party-parent and go over the top every time, feeding everyone a giant spread.
Yes you're obliged to feed guests at your events.
I always had enough food for parents and siblings too. But I like hosting parties.
Yes but what depends on timing. Lunchtime? Yeah lunch is expected. 3:00 pm? Snacks are fine. Chips, dips, maybe a fruit and veg tray and some drinks. And obviously cake. Or just order some cheap pizzas and call it a day.
don’t break the bank but ya grab some little caesar’s and chips
Yeah dude you need to have food for everyone. At a minimum: pizza, sandwiches, or a nugget tray, and beverages.
Do you really want your kids to be known as the children of the bad party hosts?
Yes, if I invited my young child's friends to a party, I expect the parents to attend. It's always better to plan to over buy food than run out mid party. If you're worried about a budget, hotdogs, burgers, and costco pizza go a long way.
I understand birthday parties are expensive. But if you’re under a strict budget. Then I would suggest to get enough for everyone - it doesn’t have to be a full blown meal.
I think it’s fair to have enough for everyone whatever you are serving - it is hard to say, you can have some but you cannot. You will end up stressing yourself out and guests will end up confused.
If there’s also a concern that some will have more than others. You can present it in a way where it’s x amount per person (i.e. prepackaged or pre-plated). Like others have said, the parents are also taking the time to come to the party. I also think this is a better situation than having one or no one come to the party.
Your kiddo will have a blast, try not to stress and enjoy the party. ❤️
Yes. Yes you will need to feed and hydrate the parents of the other children. You should try this with twins and two unique set of friends. Double the fun, twice the cost, three times the work (that what it feels like anyway)
You should be prepared to feed whoever you invite.
My son is only 2 therefore only 2 parties but both occasions we had food for both adults and kids and also beer and wine. No one is getting hammered but also it’s very cultural to have a drink. We had one party in Australia where we live and one in Northern Ireland where I’m from.
Where I live it is typical for both parents to go to parties for kids younger than kindergarten, and also typical to bring siblings though etiquette is to ask.
When it's party in a park or at a house there's usually a ton of people, lots of parents and siblings, and plenty of food for everyone, even if that food is just chips, dip, etc. That said there is usually a LOT of food and I curse myself for overeating afterwards, hah.
When it's an indoor party at a play gym / trampoline location it is typical to not allow siblings and limit parents or require extra parents and siblings to buy their own entry tickets. Food at these events is also typically limited, like the parents might get a handful of popcorn and that's it. I generally leave these events hungry. It is clear how expensive they are.
I will say that the parent friends I made from attending class birthday parties when my kid was in daycare ages 3-5 led to possibly my most vibrant social life since I was college. From the first birthday invitation to daycare graduation was a non-stop flurry of events and led to some of my closest, newest friendships.
This goes against the grain, but I went to a 3 yo birthday party last week where there wasn't food for adults, and it wasn't weird at all. It was from 3-5, at a playground on a warm day. Not even the kids snacked much, even though there were pouches and goldfish for them. There were some extra cupcakes for the adults, though most people didn't take them. If it's short and between meals, you dont have to provide adult food
As a host, yes, it’s on you to provide food and beverages for all who attend.
The easy answer is yes.
Yes, serve snacks and drinks and desserts for everyone. You may not need a cupcake for every single person (some adults will probably decline), but don’t skimp on it.
Feed the parents, but from my experience not all of them will eat.
I would definitely provide something. Doesn’t have to be a meal but I would make sure there’s something.
I have always fed parents, but every other party my kiddo has been invited to this year (kindergarten) there was no food provided for adults — and they were not drop off parties. Soooo…. I don’t know. I thought it would be rude not to, but no one else seems to think it’s an issue.
Admittedly I’m only 2 birthday parties in, but if you are inviting someone to an event during a meal time, you should feed them. Kid or adult. If it’s not over a meal, you should still serve snacks and drinks. I would specify on the invite to make things clear and easy - “lunch at x”or “light refreshments” or byob or even “please bring a dish to pass”
You’re NOT obligated, but personally I would have plenty of food for the kids, little finger foods and enough for the parents.
Yes. At the very least coffee and bottled water. If it’s going to more than an hour a bowl of chips, or pretzels or something is a good idea. I put a couple bowls out with individual chip bags and cookie packets for everyone to snack on last time we had a party.
Definitely obligated to provide beverages and a snack at the very least
Pizza and veggie tray for the parents or chips and salsa with sandwiches
Sorry OP, yeah you are obligated. If anything, just get a bunch of pizzas from Costco.
Seeing as this is between meals, I would tend to think a couple extra snack trays should be sufficient. I usually end up eating off my kids' abandoned plates anyway as they are just busy playing.
That’s why I always invite by waves. To make sure I don’t end up with 10.000 people and that everyone can enjoy. You definitely need to serve food, at least snacks and softs.
We had a similar experience for our four year olds bday where we had about forty people show up (including adults) when we were expecting closer to 25. We did provide snacks and juice/soda/water for everyone but nothing fancy.
Yes, you need to feed the guests. Pizza, chips, sandwich trays, drinks, cupcakes. That’s all.
Snacks n cupcakes on the invite so simply snacks and cupcakes! Something simple for drinks. Don’t have to go out of your way to make any adult beverages or anything expensive. You can still keep it budget friendly, no worries. Where I’m from, typically it’s a free for all with party invites and the host usually does some sorta meal and snacks—taco in a bag/pulled pork sandwiches, chips, veggie/cheese platter. I’d just stick to your invite and double the snacks.
Omg YES. Especially depending on the time. I took my kid to a birthday party at noon and there was no food for adults and I wanted to die I remember trying to fill up on cuties and just…not feeling well. So hungry
I’ve thrown three parties for my son and have provided food for the adults each time. I’m talking full on buffet style.
Yes you are obligated to offer food to everyone including the parents and siblings. I’d order a couple of extra pizzas.
Throw some hot dogs sauerkraut in a crockpot for everyone. Cheap and easy.
Personally I would provide enough food for everyone. I’ve been to quite a few parties and they provided food for kids and parents.
Yes
Just order pizza
Costco has a sheet cake that feeds 50 for less than $30. Walmart even has large cute themed cakes for $30 that feed a bunch. I’ve attended many birthday parties where both parents and siblings were present. We never expected anything fancy. But when you’re hosting the least you can do is offer a veggie and fruit tray with chips, dip, and drinks. Especially when these families are providing gifts 🤷🏻♀️
Yes. Just some stuff to munch on and pass the time. Believe me, they feel as awkward as YOU do. I always do at least. I do not however expect to get fed. Parents are too busy watching the kids and supervising….and on their phones. 😝
Definitely should have some snacks for adults too.
Most of the parties I go to have food/beverages for adults and kids. I admit I tend to go overboard as I want everyone to have a good time (and usually provide adult beverages in a separate area kids can’t reach). But I usually budget for a big party as I want to have fun too.
You don’t need to go overboard but you should have something.
Yes, provide it. But keep it simple. Hot dogs, chips, watermelon.
I’m in UK, and for all the parties I’ve been to it’s not as common to feed parents!
Not obligated but it’s the polite thing to do.
Yes it’s a party be a good host!
Personally I’d just text the parents I wanted to invite. Idgaf about the schools policy. They’re not paying for the party.
Smaller party = less issues.
I would love to have done that, but I didn’t have their contact info, and the school won’t provide it unless you go through them.
Personally I think if they are young where parents are mostly attending the whole time, it’s a polite host gesture to offer at least snacks and drinks for parents too.
Parties for toddlers usually don’t last more than 3 hours, so don’t assume you have to be feeding everyone a complete meal. That being said there are affordable options to give everyone something to munch on. See if they might be interested in a potluck.
Personally, I would. If cost is a problem, you can order a couple Costco pizzas for like $20 and call it a day.
Yes. Feed everyone who comes. Common courtesy. Also should depend on when you have it? Around dinner time? Better have something more than snacks and cupcakes.
Listen, no parent in the history of parents wants to attend a kids birthday party on their day off! But our kids do so we put on a brave face buy a gift wrap it, then attend an event where we may not know anyone else. The least you can do is give us some chips and salsa!
In our culture we feed everyone. I recently went to kids birthday party where they offered nothing to the parents, not even cake. And there was only cake for the kids. I'd rather not through a party than offering nothing.
Yes, you should with adult food and a few bottles of wine.
I feed everybody.
Yes you are lol
Go to Aldi and load up on some their awesome and cheap snacks!
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1mo
It probably varies by community, but it is common in our area for some families to come with both parents, and for some of them to bring siblings.
I personally ask before bringing siblings, but in our community, it’s just assumed that lots of parents and siblings will come.
And most of the time, there is food for everyone present- enough slices of pizza and a big enough cake for parents to have some if they wish. Not all will be takers, but there will usually be more than enough, and the hosts will actively encourage the parents to “Please eat up all this food!”
It’s nice to provide food for all because weekends are super busy with activities and tough logistics for a lot of parents and kids, and if you’re having a party especially around a meal time, well, everyone is hungry.
I recently attended a party where there was only enough for the kids (like, there was nothing left over), and it was odd and a few parents kind of sheepishly ate their kids pizza scraps.
If you’re really strapped and can’t help it, maybe just get some extra inexpensive snacks for the extra guests, and just keep this in mind first next time.
Pizza for all.
Yes feed the parents. Get a bunch of $5 pizzas and cans of soda. Like others are saying, it does not have to be super fancy.
A gracious host will have snacks and drinks for everyone and ALL children (even uninvited siblings) receive snacks, drinks, and party favors. Also a gracious host does not complain about siblings
Yes. But it also is very weird that people RSVP’d with siblings attending without asking if it’s ok.
i never expect food for me but it’s a nice perk if it’s there.
There’s no obligation, but having a few drinks and snacks is a nice gesture.
We just found promo codes to get like 40% off the pizzas. It wasn’t hard to find, and I did NOT want to look stingy. I’ve always had food and cake available to me at every party I’ve taken my daughter to, it’s only right. It’s a one time annual expense. We definitely skimped on the venue and put it in the backyard and had a friend do face painting, borrowed a neighbors moon bouncer, etc. we were stingy with these background details, but I can’t stand being stingy with the food.
Due to limited space only 4 ppl per family I don’t know but if you’ll decide to let them all come then yes it’s out of respect you feed everyone
My mom always cooked enough for an army & even when she hosted parties, there was still some food leftover after everyone went home.
Always share with your guests.
I’d still consider them guests.
But both parents + siblings? That’s really weird to not. Even now that my kid is older, when my kid goes to a birthday party, I stay because I don’t want to just drop off the kid to the poor parents stuck with 10 kids, but I’m not bringing the whole family.
Normally one parent comes with the kid and they ask before bringing siblings. Generally the parents hold back and don’t eat much unless we press them to and all parents wait to make sure kids have eaten first.
Edit: that is to say, be prepared to feed them but don’t expect them to eat much. Also depends on time of day. But this is a good time to try and establish connections and hopefully future friendships, so have something for them for sure.
You could say how lucky you are that so many can join you and that you're now making it a potluck?
Damn, everyone is saying you have to feed the parents and I certainly would and have for house parties but I just scheduled my first party at a location and they only feed the kids, I checked several popular places including chuckee cheese and some trampoline kid type places, they all expect an adult per kid and only provide for the kids.
unfortunately this is just how it is… always be prepared for siblings and both parents at kids parties… if you can’t afford to feed parents and sibling check with your child’s school and see if they will allow you to bring snacks and cake etc to share in class. You will be invited to parties and would be grateful you don’t have to leave a sibling out and there is some refreshments while you hang around. What i can advise is sending out a memo that there will be food and snacks for kids and light refreshments such as water, sodas and pizza or chip and dip for parents. This might not go over well with some parents but it’s better than nothing and at least they have the choice to eat before the party.
Food or snacks have always been offered. I decline. I never take a sibling or spouse.
A couple of things here.
1) You have to invite the whole class IF you send the invitations to or through the school. If you want to invite only your daughter’s friends, get their parents’ contact info and invite them outside of the school environment. You can ask the teacher my saying that your daughter talks about playing with Susie and Jill and you’d like to maybe set up a playdate and get to know their moms. The teacher may prefer to give YOUR info to Susie’s & Jill’s moms so they can decide if they want to meet you. Make sure though that you’re inviting the children who your daughter friends, as opposed to inviting everyone except the kids she actively doesn’t like.
2) Yes, you do need to “feed them” even if it’s just soft drinks and chips/dip, finger foods, etc. Some people have mentioned cultural differences so for clarity, I’m caucasian and from the rural South. It’s considered extremely rude to not offer guests at least something to drink and usually a snack. Depending on the situation, it’s also often rude to refuse whatever the host is offering.
Good luck! Happy birthday to your little one!
a kids party is 2-3 hours typically. do adults really need a snack? i mean it would be nice to consider them but i wouldn’t feel obligated by any means. if it’s not in the budget, don’t stress.
If you expect gifts, they’re gonna expect food. Especially when dealing with children small enough to play with the wrapping paper over the gift. Just be happy you didn’t try to have it at a pizza parlor or something. That junk gets real expensive real fast. Next time, bill it as a potluck at a park or public space if you want to go cheap, that would be my advice.
While I would recommend some light snacks (chips, veggies etc) I never provide alcohol and people always have a great time.
When you go to parties, do you eat?
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