I've carried this around for a while and am not really sure where else to voice it except here, so I'm hoping someone may be able to provide some insight if possible. My spirituality is not the strongest and I've been kind of rattled since this occured so I don't know I guess I just want to get it off my chest if anything.

My father passed away in 2019. It was very unexpected and he and I didn't have a good relationship at the end, so it was rough. A few months after though I encountered him in what I can only describe as a lucid dream. The dream itself was quite long but I don't remember anything except the bit with my dad which took place at the very end. He and I were standing in the kitchen of my current house at the time talking. What specifically about I don't remember. We were just laughing and shooting the shit, and in the middle of him saying something I had this really strange feeling come over me. I don't know how to fully describe it but it sort of felt like the sinking feeling you get in your gut when something isn't right mixed with like a brain fog? It wasn't scary really but very uncomfortable and sobering. At that moment in the dream I rasied my hands up and looked down at my palms, and the second my eyes saw my skin it was like a snap into reality and I was lucid. I knew I was in a dream. I looked back up at my dad who had gone silent during this happening, and he had this defeated and sad look on his face. Almost like he knew what was going on but didn't want to say anything. I said "I'm not awake right now, am I?", and he shook his head a little and said "I'm sorry [childhood nickname]". Then my eyes shot open and I was awake.

I know this is a little anti climatic but I didn't experience anything else past that. I just woke up and it was over. In general I'm a fairly active dreamer but have never had this level of awareness in one before, so I don't know if this is just wild brain stuff caused by grief or something more. If anyone has heard of something like this happening before or have experienced something similar please let me know your thoughts. Thanks for reading