I know my period is about to start, I don't track my period right now but God damn it better start soon because I feel like SHIT. Everything feels wrong, I feel like I'm doing nothing right, I'm anxious about stupid shit, I'm about to run out of the meds that help me with this shit and my dumbass self hasn't called the pharmacy and I KNOW I'm out of refills. I use stupid Dr on demand for my psychiatry and I'll have to wait weeks for an appointment I haven't scheduled yet. Then pay $50 (even though I have good insurance) for a 5 minute session where I say I don't want to change anything, I just want my meds. Or I could switch to an in person psychiatrist that might have a cheaper copay but then I have to make PHONE CALLS and GO SOMEWHERE. The house is a mess, my poor dog hasn't been on a walk in too long, honestly I need to go back to therapy but its HARD and I DONT WANNA. Motherfuckrr god damn fucking Jesus. I need to go to sleep but I'm so fucking angry at myself for everything stupid I've ever done and also angry at myself for not doing enough about everything wrong in my life and the world in general. I KNOW I will feel so much better in a week, but I'm in this shit NOW and I DONT LIKE IT. All I want is a joint and some dole whip but I don't have EITHER. Thank you, goodnight, I'm going to sleep whether my dumb brain likes it or not.