It's time for the Biggest Twist yet.

Normal 40 minutes of bullshit. Marty says he’s done.

Rick and Gary have a sad conversation at the Garden Shaft how they feel they were so close. Rick slips a stiletto between Gary’s ribs as Rick whispers “one more had to die”. His eyes are wrapped in tears.

There’s a look of shock and heartbreak on Gary’s face. With his last breath he says “you were always my Bobby… Dazzler.” His eyes glaze over as his lifeless body plummets down the shaft.

The ground roils and quakes. Water and treasure begin ejaculating from every bore hole in the Money Pit area as the centuries old curse is lifted, and the riches of the ages pour forth.

Fin

Normal bullshit for 40 minutes, cut to season ending war room meeting discussing very thin accomplishments if any. Last 30 seconds of the show Marty puts his hand down takes a look around the room and without any emotion calmly says:

"I'm done."

Cut to looks of astonishment on everyone's face. Rick looks like he's been stabbed in the back. We as an audience can't even believe what we are hearing. The honesty floods back into the show. We somehow regain a little respect for what's happening on screen. Cut back to Marty:

"It's over fellas... It's over"

Cut back to reserved looks of acceptance washing over everyone's face.

cut to 17 Jardience and Ozempic commercials

Back to Marty: "...I'm done with not finding any treasure. It's over. Season 12 is going to the be the one! We're closer than ever!"

Rick: "Sempre Avanti!"

Cue five minute montage of head spinning and insane grinning.

Normal bullshit for 40 minutes, cut to the now traditional war room ending. Long camera shot across the table showing some of the rocks and fragments of pottery found this season, including the usual actually interesting pieces that never even appeared on the show.

We move around the table, with everyone in turn getting a brief moment to speak. Jack grins inanely at each one. Billy gives regular “yup”s.

“I think the most important find was this rock!” Proclaims Jack as he picks up Marty’s hair rock. There are murmurs of agreement all round.”

“Guys, I have a confession…” says Marty.

Dramatic moment music. Head snap of shock by Rick.

“I planted the rock. It was a test to see just how far this operation has fallen. To see how easily you’d believe absolutely anything.”

“But… but… how’d you get the hair in it? What iiiis that?” Stammers Jack.

“Let’s just say that ball trimmer Gary bought me last Christmas has been used A LOT”

Jack drops the rock. Slow pan around the fellowship. Sadness, shame, regret. All except Rick who stares straight ahead, unreadable.

“Guys when we started this, we thought there might be something there. We thought we’d have some fun, a few episodes a year. We’d be authentic, true to history and science…”

“It wasn’t us that went on Ancient Aliens” mutters Laird.

Marty ignores him and continues.

“Now we’ve gone through every crackpot out there and are onto outright lunatics. Doug is there talking absolute crap every week. I can’t go on with this.”

Marty places a hand on Ricks shoulder.

“I’m sorry, brother.”

The moment is left to hang a moment. Grim faces all around.

“But what about Zena’s map?” Asks Rick quietly.

“It’s bullshit, Rick. All of it.”

There’s a sharp intake of breath all around the table. The words seem to deflate Rick utterly as he sinks back into his chair, a look of utter disbelief and astonishment on his face. His world has suddenly and instantly changed. He begins to mutter under his breath. Jack looks sharply off to the side.

Marty looks at his brother in concern. The words Rick is muttering are incomprehensible.

“Rick?” He asks as the words start to get louder. Marty looks around as suddenly we see Dan Henskee slowly rising to his feet with some kind of shamanic stick in his hand, also uttering the same words as he shakes it at Marty. Both men are speaking in tongues.

“The hell is going on?” Asks Marty to nobody in particular as one by one each member of the fellowship rises to his feet. Their words are almost a scream now, louder and louder as their forbidden incantation fills the room.

Glassy eyed, Rick suddenly stops and the rest of the Fellowship follow suit. He turns to his brother, producing a book from under the table, a Templar cross and pentagram emblazoned on the cover.

“You may dismiss Zena, Marty… but it’s time to introduce the world to the Black Book of Zena Halpern. The forbidden tome, the last secret.”

Marty starts backing away, but Gary, now holding an adze, has blocked the door.

“Guys, come on…” Marty nervously laughs. But nobody laughs with him as Craig reaches for the replica ninety foot stone and starts to lift it over Marty’s head.

“Let the final sacrifice be made!!” Bellows Rick as we suddenly cut to black, The Curse of Oak Island leaving the air.

More likely every meets at a pizza parlor. Marty says "I have a major announcement" then black screen, while Journey sings "Don't Stop Believin'."

Robert Clotworthy: “Even though the Langinas were closer than ever to solving the mystery, at the end of the summer the Province of Nova Scotia cancelled all excavation permits on Oak Island amid allegations of non- reporting of M’ikmaq human remains in the form of two human hairs. Now, while they wait for the results of their appeal, tune in next season as the Langinas travel to the Holy Lands to retrace the path of the Templars and their treasures to their final destination- an island in the North Atlantic”. Pay me, Prometheus!!

It ends with MDEGD at the bottom of the Money Pit sticking a beeping detector down into the water while everyone screams at him that winter is almost upon them and they have to flee for their lives.

Wait...

Prometheus: You can't quit now, you have a contract. We'll tell you when it's over. We are going to milk this nonsense for as long as we can.

These comments have me dying 😂😂

Much better writing here than on the show. Do the writers/producers not have a clue on the level of discontent by the viewers?

That's the end of the show

‘Can we still sacrifice Matty?’

Marty: Yes

Sorry fella’s we were too safe… We couldn’t get anyone to die in the pit… so we’re done. It’s all over.

Call OSHA, there’s a hole cast of safety experts looking for new jobs.

And if so….

I'd selltle for the Knotts Landing season finally.. waking up, looking at the wife, and realizing it was all a bad dream.

This thread is the real treasure.