You have sex with one clam and everybody says “there goes Bob, the dirty clamf…”

His friends were impressed…

He said fuck this allergy

By golly, is that Kitchener Lesli’s girlfriend!

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definitely a candidate to be included in the list of Guinness Book of Fucking Retards

Is that what recreational diving means???

He didn’t even buy her dinner.

This is fake. No real sources (including the article in the screenshot which has disappeared if it existed).

Full name, picture, and location on a story about fucking a clam in front of your (full name again) buddy? Not buying it

In his defense, the clam looked like she really wanted it

well, to be fair, it DOES look like a vagina

Ah yes, the dreaded dickface. When your injury was to your dork, but your face suffers the consequences.

See, in the old days, you always knew which clams were safe to dip your wang into… You had the bearded clams, and the hairless clams. The hairless clams would always give you that nasty arsenic poisoning, so that was something to avoid. You didn’t want that. The bushy clams… I mean, bearded clams, that was the safe bet. No arsenic poisoning. Also, very low statutory rape risk with a heavily bearded clam.

That’s the wrong kind of clam, buddy.

Scrolled all the way down and nobody commented "stop stealing my moves". Are you guys alright?

Just goes to show men will fuck anything that can't run fast enough

Talk about star crossed lovers

Did you read that it was a GIANT clam?

Honestly, who among us hasn’t stuck our dick in a giant clam at some point?

"Prank"

"It was a one in a million shot, doc"

I shouldn’t laugh, but that’s the most random thing think I’ve ever read

reminds me of that time I fell on a lightbulb and it got stuck up my rectum. Just really bad luck.

"giant clam"= your mum

Is that where a pearl necklace comes from?

Was it at least a bearded clam?

🎶 🎵 Whoa, Clam Jammer, bam-ba-lam Whoa, Clam Jammer, bam-ba-lam Clam Jammer had a child, bam-ba-lam The damn thing gone wild, bam-ba-lam Said, "It weren't none of mine," bam-ba-lam The damn thing gone blind, bam-ba-lam I said, oh, Clam Jammer, bam-ba-lam Whoa, Clam Jammer, bam-ba-lam 🎶 🎵

Quit stealing my moves!!

Hey clam fucker, stop stealing my moves!

At least we know it was a prank and not some weirdo clam fetish.... fuckin freaks

Anything for your 15 mins..

r/dontputyourdickinthat

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He was diving recessional in all fairness.

By George, they should give this man a Darwin award.

Wonder what that pearl will look like

How bad do you want to get off that you put your “best friend”at risk

No means no.

He's a real clam mother-shucker

Cool prank

Dont be stupid, we're just friends

Did the clam's husband beat him??

It’s just a praaaaank!

Bwhaaaaaahahahaha!

Why did they need to name the friend? What the fuck?

Naming his friend was the dirtiest play.

Trying to figure out how to photoshop my brothers face

I recognize her

Lol atta boy!

r/idiocracy

Get your hands off my junk!

Yeah, I'm sure his parents are so proud of him.

But how was the clam dressed?

All that's missing is a caption under the giant clam that reads "He said he'd call."

You can build a 1000 bridges and f$%k one clam, they don't call you a bridge maker they call you a............

Clam pain for my real friends, real pain for my clam friends

I'm sure his friend was super impressed

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Why did you say it twice? She said, “I didn’t.”

See, it was because of the echo…

I mean, someone had to volunteer as tribute!

Hear me out

The downfall of many men.. Getting stuck in the clam..

Who doesn't feel the urge to be a Hawaiian man fucking a clam. That should be a bumper sticker.

Bumper? I hardly know her!

Reminds me of that tragedy

Oh lord! What a stupid waste of genes

This is Sean. Sean tried to have sex with a clam. Don't be like Sean.

I like that they mentioned the friend by name...like he's the one that called the newspaper and was like... man have I got a story for you!

Wait'll you hear about the dude and the snapping turtle.......

I did it to impress Tom. Hhe wanted to see me penetrate

I just checked it on Snopes it is fake and from 2018 originally. They had me though.

“Prank”. I’m not one for jokes kid.

Too bad his friend wasn’t named Oscar.

Columbus type shit…

Just a prank bro.

Another one of them there fake articles. Gee a lot of those there fake article these days, I tell ya. 

I know a few of you would have done the same thing! :)

On the plus side sounds like this fella wont be procreating, which is for the best for society.

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This guys friend

Don't know about his "friend", but he sure impressed the hell out of me!

Fleshbight

What was she wearing?

Big Clam energy

Was he allergic to shellfish before, or after sticking his dick in a clam?

That's one way to find out your allergies

He was just trying to make some clam chowder - poor guy!

Is that Andy Richter, the Swedish German?

The clam was asking for it. Look at what it was wearing. Jeez