Today isn't really a great day. Knowing that my mother will never accept me being in therapy and will always look at me as a traitor is heart breaking. Even after all of the pain she has caused me I still care and love my mother. All I did was exist and I have been punished for existing. I really hope God blesses me for still being in my mother's life and taking the middle course. Realizing that my only purpose in her life is to serve her is still a very very hard pill to swallow. I know that she loves me but I know that she doesn't like me. The dynamic in my mother's household (except for my siblings ) is a US vs Me vibe. To know that she goes off on my siblings and then follow it up with "don't tell your sister or she will go run and tell her therapist" is sick. With her saying that I know that she is aware that her behavior isn't right but the gaslighting is elite. Seriously May God reward all children that have to deal with narcissistic parents/family members because this is haaaaaard. Having to go over her house and know that she is talking about me in a negative light but when she sees me we have a surface level relationship. She told me before that I was not to be trusted so I guess she really meant that🤷🏾‍♀️